A Life Like Mine (27 page)

              “You’re right, I didn’t have to, but I did. Who put the idea in my head? You did!” Adam bellowed.

              “Does this change the situation that you’re in? Making it my fault? Making me the bad guy? No! It doesn’t seem to me that it helps you at all.”

              “What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that Hank was wrong and that he had no right to say any of the things that he said? Is that what you want me to say?”

              “That’s exactly what I want you to say! Is that asking a lot? Am I ruining your life that much?” I asked.

              “No, of course not.” Adam added, “I just wish you wouldn’t take this so badly.”

              “How am I supposed to take it? Am I supposed to throw a party? Am I supposed to celebrate that my boyfriend doesn’t consider me important? That my boyfriend, whom I’m supposed to trust and love, can’t even defend me to a friend? Am I supposed to be elated that you even let me be in your presence? Am I supposed to be thrilled that you’re going away, and that I’ll never be able to see you again? Oh, that makes complete sense to me, Adam. Why wouldn’t I love that?” I pulled at my hair.

              “I never said that you didn’t matter to me!” Adam said a little above a whisper.

              “Oh, really? So, when Hank said that you needed to end it with me, and when you told him ‘okay’ that supposed to tell me that I meant the world to you? Are you saying that I was the center of your world when you dropped me like a bad habit?”

              “You know how I feel. I care about you.” Adam face softened.

              “How? How am I supposed to know that you care about me? You just totally let Hank talk you into whatever he wanted. You let him say those awful things about me. You let him say that I’m ‘just a girl.’”

              “He was wrong, and so was I,” Adam said. “I never should have let him talk about you like that. And I don’t know what I’ve been thinking. Everything is just so messed up.  I don’t know why I’ve said the things that I’ve said to you today. I’m just so confused. I’m so mad that I have to leave you. I was just starting to think that if I didn’t care about you, my heart wouldn’t break into pieces.”

              “How’s that working for you?” I asked coldly.

              “Not very well,” Adam confessed. “I never should have tried to act as if you don’t matter to me because you matter a lot to me. You’re everything to me.”

              “Well, you have a great way of showing it.” I turned my head away from him and started walking to my car.

              “Wait. Please don’t leave.”

              “Is this what you were going to tell me about the other day?”

              “Yes,” Adam answered frankly.

              “Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.             

              “Because you said that you were busy. I just figured I’d tell you today,” He replied.

              “Why didn’t you tell me today?”

              “I was having such a good time with you.”

“Thanks, but that’s not good enough.” I told him.

“I just didn’t know how to tell you.” Adam said.

“Well, you could have found the words.” I said.

“I didn’t think that I could. I know now that I can’t break up with you. It hurts too much. I care about you too much to not at least see where this might take me.” Adam motioned between himself and me.

              “Well, you know what? You’re leaving Saturday, right?”

              “Yes.” He nodded.

              “Well, I’ll make things easier on you.” Each of my words was a distinct iceberg. “I’m breaking up with you.”

Chapter 14

The Basketball Game

Honors Night

Basketball games were sometimes the only thing that kept me sane. If the balance of my life was ever out of wack, which it usually was, I’d turn to basketball. I was horrible at the game, but Jack was really good at it. I was hoping that one day he would be able to get a full scholarship for of it, and move onto greater things. Right now he was the highest scorer of the team. Every game my whole group would go and cheer for him. It always made me feel better to be with my friends, but not today. Today was couple day, I guess. Jennifer and Tad were in their own little world as I sat down next to them.

“I broke up with Adam.” I frowned. “He’s moving sooner than expected. And it’s all Hank’s fault!” I was so confused.

            
 
“Tad! You’re so funny!” Jennifer giggled, taking no notice of me.

              “Are you guys even listening to me?” I asked.

              “You’re funny, too!” Tad smiled.

              “Oh, forget it.” I crossed my arms in frustration.

              “Hey, Ashley.” Betty waved to me as she climbed the bleachers. Finally! Someone spoke to me!

              “Bet! I’m so glad that you’re here! I had no one else to talk to, and it was really getting me down. We have so much to talk about and…”

              “Sorry, Ash. I can’t stay, I have to go to the art room and finish this project that’s due at the end of the week. I just wanted you to tell Jack, that I’m really sorry. Can you do that for me?” Betty’s eyes pleaded apologetically. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

              “Sure.” I fought back the urge to scream.

              “Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Betty walked back down the bleachers and vanished into the crowd.

              “Great, I’m all alone again,” I mumbled.

              “Ash!” Keri’s voice called me. I jumped to attention. There she was with Ben standing right in front of me. She was dragging Ben over to a seat that I figured to be next to me. She walked right past me towards Tad and Jennifer. They sat down and started making out.

              “What is this? Make-out Land? Population everyone but me?” I asked no one. Nobody was listening to me anyway.

              “Keri? Could you pause it for a second?” I snapped. Surprisingly, Keri turned her head away from Ben and looked at me.

              “What’s wrong with you Ash?” She asked.

              “Lots of stuff, but could you just tell me something? Is Allie showing up?” I inquired.

              “Nope.”

              “Is Tina coming?” I asked.

              “Nope.”

              “Well, why not, Keri?” I huffed.

              “They had to work today, but Big Al, Hank, Tom, Jack, and Annie are coming.” Keri said before resuming mack-mode with Ben.

              “Okay.” I said.

              “Hey, everybody!” Annie said from behind me.

              “Annie! You’re just the person I wanted to see. I’m having a couple of problems!” I said wearily.

              “Like what?” Annie asked.

              “Well, I think I have the perfect plan on how to get back at Tom,” I said.

              “Really?”

              “Yeah, I figured we could…” I whispered the plot to Annie. “The only problem is I don’t think that I can do it.”

              “Why not?”

              “I just…it’s a long story, but I can’t,” I told her.

              “Well, where’s the DVD?” Annie asked.

              “It’s right here…oh no! I left it in a duffle bag. It’s not here? Where could I have left it?” I panicked.

              “Don’t worry. I’m sure someone will find it,” Annie comforted me.

              “That’s the problem. I don’t want anyone to find it.” I rubbed my eyes in frustration.             

              “Jack!” Annie interrupted my thoughts. “How are you?”

              “I’m good! I’ve got to go get ready for the game, but where’s Betty?” Jack replied.

              “She had to go work on an art project,” I told him.

“Oh, that’s right. It’s due pretty soon.” Jack smiled. “Well, be ready for half time. There’s going to be an amazing Honor’s Night video clips of the season tape. This year is going to be extra special. We’re going to expose some trash.” Jack looked at Tom.

“Oh, no. You found the tape, Jack? Wait. Don’t!” I said.

“I’ve got to go get ready! See you guys after the game.” Jack winked at us.

“This is horrible!” I said.

“There’s nothing you can do now,” Annie said, “Just sit down and enjoy the game.

“I doubt that will happen.” I sighed. Ironically, I did begin to relax. I stopped thinking about the plan and watched as the game unfolded.  Jack was a natural. He scored fifteen points on his own in the first five minutes. I couldn’t believe how good he was. Tom, on the other hand, was blowing it big time. He couldn’t even make an assist. He kept tripping over himself, and falling to the ground. By the time that second quarter started, Tom had been pulled out and replaced by some guy I didn’t really know. The game continued to go well, as Jack made up for Tom’s mistakes. Lena was out on the court doing flips and screaming her head off along with the rest of the cheerleaders. Then I suddenly realized that Annie should have been out there.

              “Annie, why aren’t you cheering?” I asked.

              “Oh, Lena said that we should do it in shifts. I just happen to be off of all but one shift.” Annie smirked.

              “What a…!” I moaned some nasty words.

              “What?”

              “Nothing.” I replied. “Uh oh. It’s ShowTime.”

              “Just breathe,” Annie said.

            
 
“I’ll try.” I closed my eyes, inhaling and exhaling heavily. I felt like I was going to cry for the bazillionth time this year. Have you noticed my crybaby tendencies? You’d think that I was pregnant with my moodiness! Wait. You actually think I’d get pregnant? You pigs! How could you think so little of me? Consider yourself slapped. You didn’t mean it? You’re sorry. Oh, I can’t stay made at you when you make that face! Whoops. I’m just a tad off the subject again. Okey-dokey, back to almost crying before the unveiling of Tom’s DVD …

              “It’ll be okay,” Annie said.             

              “Yeah, don’t worry.” Big Al walked towards us. “What are we talking about?”

              “Never mind,” Annie said kissing Big Al.

              “Hello!” I sat back in surprise. “Did I miss something?”

              “We’re going out now. It’s really no big deal.” Annie grinned.

              “I’m not a big deal?” Big Al gasped. “Maybe I should go back home and do something better with my time!”

              “You’re such a spaz.” Annie held his hand.

              “Again, you’ve offended the Big Alster!”

              “You know I say spaz with the utmost affection. Gosh, you’re so touchy. Do you know that?” Annie giggled.

              “Why are you guys so nonchalant about this?” I asked.

              “Why are you making such a huge thing out of it? We’re all not drama queens like you,” Big Al sputtered.

              “What?” I exhaled deeply with a look of shock sweeping across my face.

              “I’m sorry,” Big Al quickly stammered. “I didn’t mean to…”

              “It’s okay. I know that you didn’t mean anything by it,” I cut him off.

              “Thanks. What I meant to say was that Annie and I are still getting used to the idea of us being a couple. I’m acting nonchalant just so that I can guarantee that I won’t embarrass myself terribly. You know, give a self-interpretive Riverdance routine accompanied with show tunes horribly off pitch. And that would just be for the celebration part.” Big Al said seriously.

              “You’re cute, Francis!” Annie snickered, kissing him on the lips.

              “Uh,” I snorted. “You’re letting her call you by your REAL name? I thought that was against the law or something? You know, and unwritten rule that was never to be broken. Something so important that it is not to be spoken about at all?”
              “Well, it actually is written, but I’ll let my Annie do anything that she wants to.” Big Al gave Annie a starry-eyed look.

              “Attention, students and basketball fans!” The basketball announcer summoned out attention.

              “Oh, no,” I said breathlessly.

              “Don’t worry.” Annie grasped my hand supportively.