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Authors: Victoria Bernadine

BOOK: A Life Less Ordinary
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She
forced herself to stay still, but gasped sharply as he skimmed a firmly
possessive hand down her bare arm then flinched as he moved his mouth from her
lips to her neck and began to suckle.

“Yeah,
baby – you like that?” he asked hoarsely then began to kiss, lick and suckle on
her neck in earnest.

She
tried
.

She
tried to relax, to enjoy the touch of his hands, the feel of his mouth, the
heat of his body.

But
she’d been untouched for too long.  Her skin was too sensitive; his fingers and
lips leaving trails of sharp, biting electric sparks that shocked rather than
aroused and only made her even more tense.

In
her dim memories of sex, she knew she’d enjoyed it.  Perhaps not to the extent
described by every romance novel she’d ever read, but she’d enjoyed it well
enough.  But right now...right now, she was shaking in a mixture of arousal and
– dear God, she was
still
terrified.  She couldn’t make herself relax,
she couldn’t stop shaking, and Brett just kept
talking
, trying to
encourage her, she supposed.

Except
he never once used her name, and kept calling her babe and baby.

Out
of all the pet names he could have chosen, she thought in growing panic and
irritation, he had to choose that one.

Harvey
was obstinately silent, probably sulking somewhere.

Manny
tried to refocus, to shut off her mind, to stop shaking, to relax, to enjoy the
moment, to let nature take its course, to enjoy being kissed and caressed, to
be grateful for the fact that
somebody
was attracted enough to want to
have sex with her, no matter the reasons.  She shook from warring emotions and
spiralling thoughts. 

She
could do this, she told herself grimly.  She could
do
this -

Then
Brett burrowed a hand beneath her shirt and cupped her breast, and she shoved
him away without thinking.

“I
can’t – I can’t do this,” she blurted desperately.

Brett
frowned, blinking, confused.  “What?  Why?”

“Because
– because – because I just can’t!” Manny wailed, almost in tears.  “I’m so, so
sorry!  I didn’t mean – I thought – but this is just -”

Brett’s
eyes widened.  “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he hastened to assure her as he
awkwardly patted the back of her hand, “I’m sorry, too.  I thought you wanted
this as much as I did.”

Brett’s
look of confused consternation would have been funny under other circumstances,
Manny thought as she sniffed tearfully.  Her shoulders slumped in defeat, and
she realized there was no way she could begin to explain this when she didn’t
fully understand it herself.

“You
should probably go,” she muttered, unable to meet his eyes.

“This
is my cabin,” Brett reminded her blankly.

Her
eyes flew to his, her face turning bright red.  She yanked her hand out of his.

“Oh! 
Oh, right.  Right.  Then...I should go.”

She
surged to her feet, fumbling for her purse and scrambling to put on her shoes,
her entire body burning fiercely with humiliation.  Her eyes kept sliding past
him, never quite landing on his face.

Brett
leaned against the wall by the door and watched her, his arms tightly crossed,
as she finally got her shoes on and straightened.  She forced herself to meet
his eyes.

“I’m
sorry,” she said again.  “I should have known better.”

“You
win some, you lose some,” Brett shrugged ruefully.  “I’ll see you around.”

She
nodded jerkily, muttered, “Good-night,” and bolted.

* * * * *

Day 111

Manny
paced her room, fidgeting, her hands twisting together as she shook her head.

“Stupid,
stupid, stupid,” she muttered with each step.

She
was flushed with humiliation and self-loathing, her heart beating rapidly,
breath coming more quickly.

She
wrung her hands and thought she needed to leave without seeing Brett again.  Of
course, she thought bitterly, the sick heat of embarrassment suffusing her
again, that wouldn’t be difficult.  Brett was already pursuing two
twenty-somethings who had arrived that morning before Manny had gathered enough
courage to creep out of her cabin.  Manny had expected him to not have time for
her, especially when she’d noticed the two young women in one of the
neighbouring cabins, but it was the way he’d looked right through her that had sent
her scurrying back to her cabin, calling herself every name she could think of.

The
sudden rapid knocking on her door made her jump and give an involuntary yelp. 
She pressed a hand to her chest and tried to catch her breath.  She walked
cautiously to the door, her eyes wide, wondering who could be there, until she
remembered that she’d promised the couple two cabins over that she’d go hiking
with them today.

Manny
plastered a smile on her face as she opened the door, then gaped at a grinning
Zeke.

His
grin faltered as he took in the look on her face.  He gently urged her back
into the cabin and stared searchingly at her.  She knew she was blushing
furiously and began to curse herself even more intensely.

Calm down!
 Harvey commanded. 
You haven’t done anything
wrong!

It’s embarrassing!  No,
humiliating
!  That’s what it is!

You
made out with a guy who’s now ignoring you for somebody younger and prettier -

Thanks.

You still didn’t do anything
wrong
!

“Manny?”
Zeke demanded sharply. “What’s the matter?  What’s wro – Oh.  My.  God!  Is
that a
hickey
on your neck?”

Manny
winced as his voice rose in both volume and pitch, then stared at him in horror
as his words sunk in.

“What?”
she screeched and rushed to the nearest mirror.  “Shit!”  How on earth had she
managed to shower and dress without noticing
that
?

Zeke
gaped at her, and in the corner Harvey was watching, his arms crossed, an
unholy grin on his face.

This ought to be good,
he chortled.

Oh, sweet Jesus,
shut up
!

Zeke’s
expression changed from shocked and appalled, to concerned, to terrified – to
enraged.

“Did
somebody -?  Who was it?  Where is he?  I’ll
murder
the son-of-a-bitch!”

Manny
gaped at him again.

What?

“What? 
No! 
No, no – he didn’t do anything I didn’t allow him to do.”

Now
it was Zeke’s turn to gape at her.  When he realized she was telling the truth
he shut his jaw with an audible snap.

“Jesus,
Manny!  I’ve only been gone – what?  Two weeks?  And you’re off getting laid
the first time I leave you alone?”

What!
Harvey yelled.

“What?”
Manny screeched again.

Zeke’s
expression flashed regret before his face hardened again.

“You
heard me!  What kind of woman are you?”

What?
 
Harvey howled.


What?

Manny screeched for the third time.  “Are you calling me a
slut

You
?”

“What
the fuck do you mean by that?” Zeke snarled.

“I
mean,” Manny growled, stalking towards him, “I
mean
it wasn’t
me
who buggered off in San Francisco or Las Vegas
or
Ringo!  And you have
the gall – the
gall
- to
judge
me?”

By
this point, she was poking him in the chest with every word and had him backed
up against the wall as she rose onto her toes to yell in his face.

They
glared at each other.

“I
only slept with Babe,” Zeke snapped.

Manny
frowned, blinking.  She shook her head in confusion, momentarily distracted
from her justifiable rage.

“What?”
she finally managed.

“Luciana
and I just hung out.  Alicia was a cover because I needed to work on –
something, and – and I needed a break from your sightseeing.  Babe’s the only
one I actually slept with.”

Manny,
still frowning furiously, eased down off her toes, one hand unconsciously on
Zeke’s chest in order to keep her balance.

“Well,
I didn’t have sex with Brett,” she finally said.  “I chickened out.”

Zeke
blinked.

“Oh,”
he said.

“Yeah. 
Oh,” Manny agreed and stepped away from him.

“So
– who is this...Brett guy?  And where is he now?”

Manny
shrugged.  “He’s the park ranger here, and he’s moved on to the two
twenty-year-olds who arrived this morning.”  She turned away.  “No harm done,”
she added flatly.

“Except
to us,” Zeke said.

Manny
bowed her head, but kept her back turned.  “That’s not Brett’s fault, is it?”
she said coldly.

Zeke
hissed in a sharp breath.  “No,” he admitted.  “No, it isn’t.  Would it help if
I told you I – I’m sorry?”

“You’re
always sorry, Zeke,” Manny sighed.

Zeke
shifted uncomfortably.  “That’s because I’m always wrong,” he said softly.  “Do
you want me to go back home?”

Manny
hesitated.  “I’ll let you know,” she muttered.

~~~~~

“Are
you...okay?” Daisy asked delicately.

“Yeah,
I’m fine,” Manny sighed dully.  “I just have to accept the fact that I’m never
going to have sex again.”

“Manny
-”

“If
I’d known that was all I was going to get, I would have paid more attention.”

Daisy
tried to stifle her chuckle.  “Don’t give up.  You never know what might happen
tomorrow.  You’ll meet that guy and it’ll just...happen.”

“If
I couldn’t let it happen with Brett, then it ain’t ever gonna happen,” Manny
replied.  “Young – cute as the day is long – built like a brick shithouse and
willing to fuck me like a rabbit.”

Daisy
paused, considering. “...rapidly?” she finally asked.

“I
was thinking repeatedly.”

“Which
then translates to rapidly.  Ooh, I think you made the right decision there,
Manny.”

Manny
opened and closed her mouth several times, a small squeaking noise coming out
whenever she tried to speak.

“Quality,
baby, not quantity!” Daisy hooted.

Manny
shuddered.  “Ugh!  Don’t call me baby!  Brett was calling me that every five
seconds.”

“So?”

“It
felt like something out of a porno...and like he couldn’t remember my name.” 
She shuddered again.

“Okay
– first of all, just how many pornos have you seen?  And now I know you
definitely
made the right choice!”

“Thanks,”
Manny replied drily.  “Zeke agrees with you, by the way.”


Zeke?” Daisy asked
sharply.


Yeah – he arrived this
morning.  God knows when he left home in order to get here that early.”


Good Lord.  How – you
told
him?”


Not – I wasn’t going
to, but I have this huge-ass hickey on my neck.  Zeke assumed the worst, so I
had to tell him the truth, otherwise I think we’d be hiding body parts in the
woods right now.”


Awww.  That’s actually
rather sweet!”


Sure.  Until he accused
me of being a slut.”


Say
what
now?”

Manny
winced as she jerked the phone away from her ear, then carefully replaced it.

“I
set him straight pretty damn fast, let me tell you!  He won’t be making that
mistake again!”

“I
should hope not!”

“Anyway. 
Brett’s already putting the moves on a couple of twenty-year-olds, and
I’m...really looking forward to leaving for our next destination. 
This...everything is just so stupid on so many levels.”

“Could
have been worse,” Daisy said brightly.


How?”


You and Zeke could be
hiding body parts in the woods.”


True.”

Daisy’s
voice became very serious.  “Brett could have reacted badly to you suddenly
putting on the brakes. 
Very
badly.”

“I
know,” Manny said soberly.  “I’m always grateful for the kindness of most
strangers.”

“Just
– be careful.  Okay?”

“I
will.  Now I just have to decide if I’m going to forgive Zeke.  Again.”

Daisy
hummed. 

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