A Lethal Legacy (15 page)

"Ed, can we
talk?"

"Sure, come on
in, Elizabeth. Good to see you," I said as we hugged in the front yard.

"How's
Gary?" I asked.

"Fine. Can we
just go inside, please?" She seemed on edge, and I quickly unlocked the
front door and led her into the living room.

"Would you like
some coffee or tea?" I asked.

"Yes, if it's
not too much trouble, a cup of tea, perhaps?"

"Sure, come on
into the kitchen, and we can talk there, OK?"

I began measuring
water and placing cups on the counter. I looked around for some cookies or
something in the cupboards to put out. I realized that Kelsey and I rarely ate
at home and so our cupboards were nearly bare. Luckily, I found some tea bags.

"What's up,
Elizabeth?" I asked as I put two steaming cups on the table.

"I was hoping
you would know," she said, and then the tears began. She took a long time
to control herself, and I felt a certain sense of dread and déjà vu at what I
might hear next.

"It's
Gary," she said. "He's changed in the last few months," and she
began crying all over again.

"It's OK,
Elizabeth, take your time." I patted her hand sympathetically, and she
looked at me gratefully as she tried to regain her composure.

"Thanks, Ed, I
knew you'd understand. You always seem to know just what to do and say."

I only knew what to
do because I had done it before. I had known Gary all my life, and now I was
comforting his second wife and hoping against all odds that Gary hadn’t done
something stupid.

"Has something
happened?" I asked.

"No, that's the
problem. Nothing happens, especially in our bedroom."

Once she began, there
was no stopping her. I had heard it all before but this time from a completely
different type of woman, but the scenes were the same. No sex, no
communication, late night business meetings, and a general uneasiness in Gary's
demeanor.

" I think he's
having an affair," she said when she finished relating the litany of his
distant behavior. The tears began once again.

When Elizabeth had
finally spent herself with the saga of Gary, I sent her home with a
half-hearted promise that I would speak to her husband.

"You're the only
one he ever listens to," she said before she headed off into the night.

Then he must not
listen to anyone at all
, I thought. I knew that talking to Gary would be futile, but I
also knew because of my strong bond with him, I would make the attempt.
However, right now, the day had taken its toll, and it wasn't even 9 p.m. The
icing on the cake would be a call from Pam.

I poured myself a
scotch and went into the dark living room to sit and contemplate the events of
the last five hours. I also wondered where Kelsey could be. She was much later
than usual. She hadn't called, at least not since I had been home, and she
almost always let me know when she would be working late.

I poured another
scotch and thought of Allison and how she looked when I had removed her
sweater. Soon another one obliterated that picture. I saw her icy glare as she
stood on the stairs and asked me about cheating on her. Then I thought of
Elizabeth and her suspicions about her husband. She was probably right; Gary
probably had started having an affair or at least gone back to his old ways to
try and ease his pain. Elizabeth never thought of any other possibility than
Gary spending time with other women on his evenings away from her.

I heard the front
door open and the sound of someone tripping as Kelsey banged into the narrow
walls of the hallway of our apartment. When she appeared in the doorway of the
living room, I could tell she’d been drinking.

"Hi, honey,
sorry I didn't call. Last minute happy hour, you know, all the guys from work.
How come you're sitting here in the dark?" she asked as she proceeded to
turn on the lights, disrupting my solitude.

"Rough day, I
guess." I saluted her with my empty glass. "I better catch up with
you," I said as I went to refill it.

"We went to the
Holiday Inn, and you know they just put in a new disco there. The DJ's great.
Lots of fun. Maybe next time you'll go?"

"Maybe. Who was
there?"

"You know, the
usual, Greg, Sue, and some other folks you don't know," she said. Then she
sobered up and looked at me seriously. "Ed, I need to ask you something.
Would you at least come with me to look at those houses on the north side of
town?"

"Sure, Kelsey,
sure," I said.

"Really, you
will? You'll love them; just wait and see."

I looked at her
skeptically and noticed that her blouse wasn't buttoned correctly, and her hair
looked messy. From an emotional distance caused by the day's events, I realized
I didn't even care enough to question her story. Now she looked at me with a
wide grin, and I wondered what happened to the young woman who gave me coffee
during a rainstorm while bread rose and baked in the co-op bakery three years
ago. Where had she gone?

Pam didn't call that
night, thankfully. I woke up the next morning with a hangover barely in time to
make it for my first period class. The dull ache behind my eyes throughout the
day prevented me from thinking about all that had happened in the last
twenty-four hours.

Even though I didn't
want to go back to Allison, the encounter with her had opened my eyes about
something. I no longer felt the same way about Kelsey. At some point, I think I
stopped loving her. I didn't share her vision for our future. I couldn't even
see us together in any future life. I didn't know what to do about it.

Not only did I know
that my marriage was headed for the brink of disaster, but I was certain after
my talk with Elizabeth that her marriage was about to catapult over the edge
much sooner than my own. I decided to wait until the weekend before contacting
Gary.

I called him Saturday
morning and suggested that we go out for lunch sometime soon. He wanted to go
to a favorite bar in downtown Ann Arbor that he liked for its low lights and
mellow jazz on Sunday afternoons. He said he needed to go over and visit his
parents anyway, and he might as well do both on Sunday. I felt a pang of guilt
because I hadn't visited my parents in awhile either. When I told him, he
suggested that we get them all together at his folks' house for Sunday dinner.
Then he and I could go down to the Del Rio later in the day. He said he would
make all of the arrangements.

Neither one of us
mentioned bringing our wives. I didn't even mention my plans for the day to
Kelsey until I started to get ready.

"What's up
today?" she asked when she saw that I was changing into my khakis and blue
shirt, my Sunday best.

"Gary and I are
having dinner with our folks and then going out to the Del Rio later. We
haven't seen each other in awhile."

"How come you
didn't tell me? I made other plans for the day."

"I didn't think
you'd want to come, I guess. Sorry, Kelsey, I didn't think of it."

"You've been
doing a lot of that lately," she said as she turned away from me.

The first thing I
noticed when I arrived at Claire’s and Philip's house was my father's
condition. He had never looked very well or strong since my childhood, but now
he was hunched over more than ever and coughed uncontrollably at times. His
color resembled that of a jellyfish left out in the sun for too long.

"What's going on
with Dad?" I asked my mother when we had a moment alone.

"I don't know.
He won't go to the doctor. He says they'll just tell him to stop smoking and
drinking, and he says no quack is going to make him do that. You know how he
is."

"He needs to do
something. Aren't you worried?"

"I've resigned
myself. He's supposed to retire next year, and I'm hoping I can convince him to
move to Florida. Maybe if he's away from some of his cronies, he'll stop those
habits that are killing him."

I watched my father
as he sat in the living room with his brother Philip who looked twenty years
younger instead of two. Even Aunt Susan, their older sister, looked years
younger than my father. Maybe I should talk to him, I thought, but immediately
I knew it would be futile. My father never listened to me, and worse, I
suspected he didn't even like me very much. He didn't like anyone. His future
looked bleaker than mine, and I couldn't imagine him living in Florida.

Aunt Susan came and
sat next to me on the couch. I patted her hand and smiled at her with genuine
affection. Of all the siblings, Aunt Susan had the sweetest and most sensitive
personality.

"He doesn't look
good does he, Ed?" she asked quietly inclining her head toward my father.

"No, but Mom
says he won't go to the doctor. Can you say something to him? You seem to have
the most influence."

"Neither of my
brothers ever listen to me! But that's never stopped me before. I'll talk to
him," she said.

When Gary and I
finally extracted ourselves from the clutches of our mothers and Aunt Susan, we
headed downtown. We had to wait a short while for a table at the Washington
Street club. Once seated at a small table with a window, I glanced across the
street and saw one or two long-time establishments and noticed a new jazz club
and restaurant.

"The Flame Bar
is still there, I see," I said without thinking about its clientele.

"Yes, indeed,
and it's still the same," Gary said.

"You go there
much?" I asked.

"I have, but
there are better ones in Detroit. I've pretty much stopped going to the gay
bars though. I'm afraid I might get recognized."

"So it's started
again, Gar?" I asked.

"Yep, Cuz, it's
started again. Your book helped me realize some things, but I just didn't know
how to tell you."

"And you and
Elizabeth?"

"Now that's a
problem. You know, I really love her in a way. It's not like with Pam who I
learned to despise. Elizabeth's sweet and kind.”

"And you are
destroying her," I added.

"What? Did you
talk to her?"

"She came to
visit the other night. She thinks you're having an affair. I tried to calm her
down, but she's really hurt and confused. What are you going to do?"

"I need to end
it. She's not so far off base. I am having an affair. A love affair," he
said like a teenager confessing a crush.

"I don't know
whether to say congratulations or not under the circumstances. First, talk to
Elizabeth. Tell her whatever you need to tell her, but don't let her suffer
anymore."

Gary promised me that
he would deal with his marriage. Then he would introduce me to his new friend.
We even managed to relax and enjoy ourselves, even though my marriage woes
still hung over my head. I didn't want to burden Gary with anything more on
this afternoon when we seemed to have connected once again.

My parents never made
it to Florida together. Soon after Thanksgiving, my mother called to tell me
that my father collapsed at work and was in the hospital. They were running
tests. She warned me that it didn't look good because he was spitting up blood.

It wasn't good news.
My father had inoperable lung cancer. By the time the doctors found it, it had
spread to all areas of the lungs. They gave him three months at the most to
live. I spent long hours at the hospital with my mother and Aunt Susan who was
a rock during those weeks. Gary came occasionally and so did Philip and Claire,
but mostly it was my mother, Susan, and I. Kelsey came whenever it was
convenient.

My father died on New
Year's Day 1976 without his family by his side. We had all spent the night with
him because the doctors advised us that the end was near. When he had made it
through to the new year, we went home for showers and a nap, planning to come
back mid-day. I took my mother back to the house in Ypsilanti where we both had
just laid down for a quick nap when the hospital called to tell us he had died
shortly after we'd left.

The funeral was held
on a bleak January day. Kelsey, Aunt Susan, and I rode with my mother in the
limousine behind the hearse on the way to the cemetery. My mother looked out
the window, and I kept my arm around her shoulders.

"I guess I'll go
to Florida now," she said.

"I think that's
a good idea, Mom. Claire and Philip are thinking about moving there this year,
too."

"Yes, I think
I'll go with them," she said.

"Live with
them?"

"No, but they're
going to buy a house in this new community. Claire tells me there are
apartments there, too. I'd at least have family nearby."

"And as soon as
the school year ends, I'm going to move there, too." Aunt Susan
interjected lightly. "Forty years of teaching music to fifth graders is
enough for anyone, don't you think?"

"I guess I know
where I'll be taking my vacations from now on," I said, but Kelsey looked
at me sharply noticing that I hadn't said "we."