A League of Her Own (18 page)

Mr. Lettles pulled out a handkerchief and mopped his brow. “The ramifications of this are severe. It could impact our license and funding to operate. Furthermore, it gets added to Levi’s permanent record. And possibly yours.” He jabbed a finger at Garrett. “I hope you understand what you’ve done here.”

Garrett stopped at the edge of the desk. He picked up a glass paperweight and turned it over in his hands. “So because of my past, I’m automatically guilty. Correct?”

Heather cleared her throat. Garrett had a point, but his version of events didn’t automatically disprove Levi’s. At least, not in Mr. Lettles’s eyes. They would need to talk to Levi again and share Garrett’s recollection. Maybe it would prompt the boy to come clean. It’d be the only way to convince Mr. Lettles. And she needed to smooth the older man’s ruffled feathers. Fast.

“Since you’ve admitted the alcohol is yours, and Levi said he got it from you, I’d appreciate an apology to Mr. Lettles.”

Garrett’s face reddened. “Gladly. If I’d done anything to Levi.”

Mr. Lettles stood and draped a raincoat over his arm. “I didn’t expect an apology, though it would have been nice. The trustees and I will review this case. We’ll determine whether or not to continue our association with the Falcons.”

“Mr. Lettles.” Heather followed him to the door, desperate to convince him. “The Falcons have worked hard to build community relations. Please don’t deprive the boys until we’ve conducted a full investigation. Having alcohol around a minor was reckless, but perhaps questioning Levi again...”

She ignored Garrett’s harsh intake of air, needing to focus on the situation. Not him. If she thought about what it meant to their relationship, she’d fall apart. No. She’d think about it later. Discuss it when they were alone. For now, she’d stay safely behind her wall, letting emotions bash against it without causing damage.

She had to keep her connection with this group home and, by extension, the rest of the homes with children attending camp. If word got out, the scandal would undo her work to bring pride back to Holly Springs and to the Falcons. Fans would lose their loyalty when they heard rumors—founded or not—of players giving alcohol to minors.

Mr. Lettles paused in the doorway. “Heather. I know you mean well, but I have to consider the well-being of the boys. This was a nice experiment, but I’m afraid it may be over. Good day.”

And with that, he walked out, leaving her staring into the empty hall, feeling just as hollow.

She whirled, closing the door behind her.

“How could you?” she whispered, wishing like anything for a voice that didn’t betray her.

Garrett strode toward her, and she backed up, not wanting him close, her skin crawling. When his eyes searched hers, he froze, his expression wounded.

“So that’s it? You believe Mr. Lettles?” His voice was thick. Hoarse. “Think that I’d endanger Levi? Wouldn’t care about his safety?”

From his expression, she guessed he was thinking of Manny. Why didn’t he see what really upset her? “Of course I don’t think that. You cared about Levi. I only wish you’d felt the same way about me.” Her voice trembled like an autumn leaf, crisp and dead at the edges.

In two steps, he was closer still, her icy hands in his. “I do care about you, Heather. More than I can say.”

“Then how could you have bought alcohol? Kept it in your trunk? Have you been drinking this whole time?” The words tore out of her, pushed by a wave of betrayal.

He rubbed his temples, shielding his eyes. “Heather, I messed up. But I had no intention of drinking that alcohol.”

“You bought it. What was your intention, then?” She squeezed her eyes shut. Deception. Would it always be a part of her life? If she stayed with Garrett, it would. The thought pierced her, an arrow through her aching chest.

“I bought it the day after we kissed at the falls. When you said you’d never trust me, I drove to a liquor store. Stupid. Weak. But I didn’t drink it.”

She snatched her hands away and wrapped her arms around her stomach as she swayed. Visions of her mother’s former out-of-control behavior swam in and out of focus, making her shiver. She begged her feet to move, but instead they became stone, embedded in the ground.

Her mind raced to the afternoon they’d spent at Looking Glass Falls. How she’d opened up to him. The way he’d comforted her. Reassured her. Made her dare to wonder if she could trust him.

What a cosmic joke. Outside, the rain transformed into a deluge. Sheets of it flooded the gray, murky world.

“You pitched that night.”

He nodded, his forehead creased. “A shutout, Heather. Think. Could a drunk do that?”

Suspicion sharpened her voice. “Maybe you saved it for later. To celebrate.”

His head snapped back as if slapped.

“I understand why it’s hard for you to believe me, Heather, but you need to. I need you to.”

She stared at him. Her mind replaying the betrayal, unable to see past it.

He picked up a picture of her and her father from the desk, studied it, then set it down. “I can’t convince you, can I? Once an alcoholic, always one.”

“I learned that in Al-Anon meetings. It’s not something you can control. We were kidding ourselves to think you could.” Her breath came out faster, and she couldn’t draw in enough air to compensate for the loss. “You told me once you couldn’t make any guarantees. I should have listened.”

“Heather, I promised you I’d work hard to stay sober and I meant it. A part of me wasn’t sure I could do it. Maybe I’ll never be certain. But after spending time with Levi, you...I’m different. Stronger. Don’t you see that?”

She wanted to. Or her heart did. It whispered for her to trust him. But the voice was too faint, unconvinced.

He shoved a hand through his tangle of hair. “If I’d been drinking all this time, could I have performed as well as I have?”

The world spun, and all the thoughts in her head jumbled together. She rubbed her throbbing temple again. None of this made sense.

“Maybe you waited until after and between games,” she thought out loud.

“No. Those bottles are the only ones I’ve bought in over a year. I called my sponsor from the liquor store parking lot that day. We talked, and I never drank it.”

“But you kept it.”

“Yes. And I should have gotten rid of it sooner.” He tipped his head back and spoke to the ceiling. “I was reckless to have held on to it for reasons I don’t even understand. But being with you this week, seeing everything the future held for both of us, made me realize I didn’t need it anymore. I planned on getting rid of the bottles today.”

Were these explanations just excuses? There was no way to know. “You should have thrown them out immediately.”

His gaze lowered and held hers. “You’re right. I should have done that. Instead, I rushed to practice and called a players-only meeting. When the team listened to me and hustled for the shutout win, I didn’t think I needed the bottles anymore. But I couldn’t get rid of them, either—knowing they were there gave me a strange sense of security, even though opening one would have destroyed everything I care about. Heather, I’m human. I made a mistake. One I deeply regret.”

Her spirits dipped lower. “You called a players-only meeting to tell them to hustle? That’s my job.” She wheeled around, hiding her face. “I thought we won because they finally accepted me as their manager. Applied my corrections. Worked hard for me. Not you.”

Garrett drew closer, chagrined. “You were so brave to come to practice after losing your father. I wanted them to win for you. Thought lighting an extra fire under them wouldn’t hurt.”

Heather shambled to her desk and sank into her chair when her knees gave way. “You didn’t think I could do it on my own. You decided I wasn’t good enough.”

He followed her and leaned a hip against the edge. “No. I just wanted to help.”

“Because you thought I needed it.”

He looked at her. Mute. It was all the answer she required. Old insecurities rushed back. Garrett hadn’t thought her capable or good enough. His actions were ripping the scabs off her healing childhood wounds.

“You should have told me.”

He rubbed his beard stubble. “I wanted you to believe—”

“That I’d succeeded on my own,” she broke in. “A lie.”

“But it’s the truth. You came to practice that day. You inspired them. Not me.”

“Then why hold the meeting?”

Again he fell silent and shook his head. Despair flooded her. They were at a stalemate. She’d never fully believe he’d stop drinking and lying. He’d never think she was capable, able to succeed without his help. She pointed a shaking finger at the door.

“Please go.”

He placed his large hands on her desk. Leaned in. “Heather, please. I had your best interests at heart. I would never hurt you.”

“But you deceived me.” Her voice was so low she barely heard it. “You didn’t tell me how close you’d come to drinking again, and you went behind my back because you thought I couldn’t handle my job.”

He shook his head, his expression pleading. “It looks bad, but it came from a good place.”

“Good never comes from bad.”

“And that’s what I am to you? Bad? The dishonest addict?”

“I’m sorry, Garrett. Unless you prove me wrong, I can’t see you any other way.”

When he straightened, he met her eyes. “I will prove you wrong. I’m everything I said I was. A committed man who loves you. Who’ll stay and fight. For us.”

He loved her? Her heart sank. Why did he have to tell her now? Now that she had too many questions and not enough faith.

“No. You won’t. You’re flying to Pittsburgh tonight. The Buccaneers want you for tomorrow’s game. But know that if we confirm Levi’s story, the ripple effect may impact your Major League play and require us to file charges against you.”

He closed his eyes briefly, and when he opened them, they were sadder than she’d ever seen them. Despite everything, she would have thought he’d be a little happy to achieve his Major League goal, even if it was threatened.

“I see. Then it’s goodbye. For now.” The door clicked shut behind him.

Heather dropped her head into her hands. She’d never believed she could open up to someone. Have a normal relationship given her past. But after learning that her father had been proud of her, that her mother was capable of changing, she’d felt ready to try.

Fool.

Garrett was the last person she should have trusted. If she’d followed her instincts instead of her heart, she would have steered clear. He’d deceived her on so many levels. Buying alcohol, drinking it (or keeping it around in case he wanted to) and going behind her back to do her job for her.

Like her dad, he didn’t think she could manage the team on her own. It stung. No. It burned. She should be glad about Garrett’s call-up to the big leagues. She wouldn’t have to see him every day, be reminded of his betrayal. With him, she would always be on guard, waiting for the hammer to fall. It’d been stupid to try. Yet he’d made her happier this week than she’d ever been in her life. Why did it have to turn out this way?

A sob tore from her throat, followed by another. She looked at the team picture, a tear rolling down her cheek, another tracing a line to her chin. Gadways didn’t cry.

Though this Gadway did, it seemed. For Garrett.

* * *

G
ARRETT
TRUDGED
BACK
to the dorms, heart heavy. Scout appeared from where he’d lurked outside the offices, running laps around his legs. The drizzling rain matched Garrett’s mood. His boyhood dream was coming true. Tonight, he was heading for the Majors. But he couldn’t care less. Thoughts of Heather consumed him.

Why would she jump to conclusions so quickly? It reminded him of his childhood. Being blamed for crimes he didn’t commit because he was the “troubled kid.” The outsider. Before Heather and Levi, only Manny had helped him feel like he mattered. Lately he’d begun to think he’d made a fresh start.

Idiot.

He paused to pet Scout and looked out at the old field. Working with Levi gave him hope. He’d thought he could make a difference. Not mess up as he had with Manny.

Why would Levi have taken the alcohol? The night they’d secured a playoff spot came back to him. He remembered Levi’s disappointment when he’d turned the boy down for ice cream. Had he grabbed the spare keys from under Garrett’s car, popped the trunk and taken the alcohol? He might have spied the bottles on their bike trip when he’d reached far into the trunk. Garrett should have guessed the boy might have noticed, no matter how deep they were lodged. Being in a hurry or eager to teach Levi were not excuses.

And what had motivated Levi? He’d been upset about something that night. Had wanted to talk about it. Until Heather’s investigation was complete, Garrett wouldn’t know. Still. It made no sense that Levi would blame Garrett.

He leaned on the fence, remembering the day they’d met. Levi was a good kid. Maybe he’d lied so he wouldn’t be accused of stealing. It was self-preservation, not ill will. A child’s action he totally understood.

He took off his cap when the rain stopped, brushing the water from its brim. Why hadn’t he gotten rid of those bottles sooner? He should have trusted more in his strength. Had faith in how much AA had helped him. Recognized how far he’d come and that he wouldn’t need alcohol. Even when times got tough.

Shoving away from the fence, he trudged back to his housing unit. He pulled up short at the sight of his teammates lounging on his concrete stoop. A homemade sign draped across his door read Welcome to the Show!

When Dean caught sight of Garrett, he let loose a howl that got Scout barking. The rest of the crew chimed in, owwwww-ooooooh’s filling the midmorning air. Garrett tried to smile, but his face was as numb as his heart. He simply stood, taking it in.

“You look like you’re actually sorry to go,” boomed Waitman, striding forward and clapping Garrett on the back.

“He’s going to miss me, that’s for sure.” Hopson put him in a headlock and rubbed his knuckles over Garrett’s head.

Dean shoved the other guys aside and gave Garrett a one-armed bro hug. “Knew you could do it, buddy. Heard about it from Smythe.”