A Late Divorce (3 page)

I went to the baby she was red screaming in her cage her blanket thrown off waving her hands in the air you'd think she was being murdered I tried talking to her but she wouldn't even look at me I brought her a bottle of water she punched it so hard that it fell on the floor so I stood on a chair and turned her on her tummy she quieted down for a second then she began to groan and tried crawling forward as if she were going somewhere. I thought at least that will tire her out but she started choking on the sheet so I turned her back on her back she was really sobbing now I was so mad at mom for leaving me with her without permission even to lift her so I went and slowly opened the door of the room where grandpa was sleeping maybe he'd hear and come help.

He didn't move though he didn't hear a thing he lay like a pile of rags by the wall covered by a white blanket with only his skinny feet sticking out. Grandpa I whispered to this man I didn't know I almost cried but he was in an awfully deep sleep.

The baby kept crying she didn't mean to stop at all. I brought her a cracker she didn't want it I crumbled it and sifted it into her open mouth she didn't even know it was there she didn't look at me she just screamed and bawled at the ceiling with her arms in the air. I tried pulling down the bars of her crib but I couldn't I never did get the hang of it. So I ate the cracker I took off my shoes I stood on the chair and climbed over the bars into the crib that once was mine. What is it Rakefet? There there that's enough but she was screaming too hard to hear me so I picked her up carefully so as not to crush her head in the place mom warns dad about because there's an opening there where her brains are going to grow. She cried a little less and then she stopped. I sat in the crib feeling the rubber sheet under me with the baby on my knees I raised her head a bit and gave her the pacifier she sucked it and gave me a worried look like I was the problem not her the tears stopped all at once mom once explained to me that crying is talking for babies that's their language just then she shut her eyes and turned red again at first I didn't realize then I smelled what she was doing. She kept straining harder and harder her forehead all creased like an old lady's. So I slid my knees out from under her and eased her back into the crib she was happy now she put her fist in her mouth to eat I climbed back over the bars and left the room. It was quiet for maybe five minutes she even sang and talked out loud until I heard a little sob she was calling me again so I closed the door maybe she'd wear herself out and go to sleep mom said that she'd been up all morning. I went to mom and dad's room to look for the silkworm I found it crawling in the dark beneath the bed I picked it up and put it in the helicopter to fly it back to earth. The telephone rang it was Grandma Rachel our other grandma never calls because she's sick.

Gaddi darling she said do you know who this is. Yes I said. So she said this is grandma on the phone so I said yes. So she said it's been ages since I've seen you Gaddi why don't you come to visit me don't you know it's hard for grandma to come to you because of those stairs. So I said yes. So she said why don't you ask your father and mother to bring you to me you have vacation now don't you want to spend some time with me so I said yes. So she said your grandpa came last night from America aren't you glad that your grandpa is here so I said yes. What did he bring you will you tell grandma so I said yes. It must be a new toy or something to wear will you show me so I said yes. Now darling tell me how Rakefet is. She's fine I said. You love her don't you do you help your mother with her so I said yes. I really hope you love her now please put your mother on the phone. So I said mom wasn't home. So she asked for grandpa to say hello to him so I said that he was asleep. Sleeping
now?
Yes I said it's nighttime for him now. What do you mean nighttime? So I told her about the earth and the sun and the differences in time. I don't think she believed me all she said was you're just like your father you have an answer for everything. The silkworm had escaped from the helicopter again and was crossing the room fast so I whispered just a minute grandma it was already under the closet I couldn't find it so I shut the door tight because the baby was crying in that awful way again and I went back to the telephone. Where were you grandma asked I didn't want to tell her about the worm because she wouldn't understand it would disgust her so I said I thought Rakefet was crying but she isn't. I always lie to her the lies come all by themselves it's like she wants to be lied to.

“Rakefet's there? Your mother didn't take her with her?”

“No, she's asleep.”

“And you're all alone with her. They left you all alone with her.”

“What's wrong with that? Grandpa's here too.”

“But he's sleeping.”

“He'll get up if I ask him to.”

“Gaddi, darling, be careful. Where is she?”

“In her crib.”

“Whatever you do don't lift her. You might drop her.”

“I won't.”

“And when your father and mother come home tell them that I just called to say hello and that they shouldn't leave you alone with the baby.”

“I will.”

“And be sure you don't lift her. You might drop her and paralyze her for life. You wouldn't want a paralyzed sister, would you?”

“No.”

“So be careful, darling. Isn't that her crying now?”

I covered the receiver with my hand to keep her from hearing the awful screams.

“No.”

I waited for her to say something else but she didn't so slowly I hung up.

The baby really was crying again not just crying but one long loud wail. I didn't know what to do I went back to her with a pacifier and the bottle and the ring of keys but she just pushed them away so I left the room and turned on the TV to drown her out I watched an English lesson but Rakefet was louder than it she even started calling my name Di Di Di her troubles were making her smarter. I couldn't take it anymore. I went back to her she was purple tears ran down her face she stank from what she had done. I really felt sorry for her. And so then I made up my mind. I went to the clothes closet and found an old raincoat of mine and put it on I put on a woolen hat and dad's leather gloves and tied a kerchief of mom's over my mouth. Then I went to the kitchen and took the sugar tongs and pushed the chair against the crib again but this time I kept on my shoes I climbed over the bars and got back in with her. I opened her diaper without getting too near I turned her on her side with the tongs together with the full wet diaper I pulled it away from her without looking all at once she was half naked and kicking her legs in the air. I threw the tongs into a corner of the room I gave her the water bottle she grabbed it and drank almost all of it right away she was feeling fine now she started to sing. So I said you feel better now don't you Di Di got rid of all that doody for you she listened and made a surprised sort of sound as though to get me to laugh she turned her head to look at the diaper lying beside her. I took the blanket and covered her to keep her warm and ran out of the room ahead of the smell. It was already five o'clock and still raining. I looked at myself in the mirror I was awfully funny-looking with those gloves and the hat and the coat though they hadn't scared Rakefet maybe they'd go well with a rifle I thought so I took my gun and lay down behind the armchair in an ambush. Now and then I fired a shot it's a game that once I liked better. The house was quiet. The baby didn't make a sound. Suddenly I thought she might be naked and catch cold. So I tiptoed in and saw that the blanket had really fallen off she had moved to another part of the bed and dragged the diaper with her everything smelled pieces of BM were everywhere she was trying to grab one she was talking to it I was afraid that next she'd want to eat it.

So I ran to grandpa's room to wake him I touched him and said grandpa get up quick something's happened to the baby. It was weird to be talking to him like I knew him when I'd never talked to him before. He turned toward me he opened his eyes you could see right away he didn't know where he was he stared at me wondering who I was he put his hand on his forehead he must have thought he was dreaming. I'm Gaddi I said to give him a hint he smiled and held out his hand he pulled me to his warm bed what time is it he asked it's five p.m. I said but what day is it he asked is it still Sunday. He looked at his watch it said ten o'clock that's right he said it's five I've been sleeping all this time.

“The baby's dirty. We have to clean her because mom's not home and there's a mess. You've got to help me. Mom said to wake you because I'm not allowed to lift her by myself.”

He got up right away in his red pajamas and went to have a look at her it made him smile. Look how she undressed herself he said she must be freezing never mind we'll run her a bath right away and clean her up. She doesn't need a bath I said you won't be able to even dad can't you just have to clean her with this lotion I showed him the white bottle. Don't worry he said there's no problem just show me where her bathtub is and give me a towel you'll help me a bit and then you can go. Go where I said. Aren't you on your way out he asked. My way out where I said. He said I thought you were dressed to go out so I took off the hat and the gloves and the coat they were just for some game I was playing I said and he patted me on the head.

It really was strange how a minute ago he was fast asleep and now he was running around the house in pajamas tall and queer with a big head of white hair and bright eyes not stooped or slow hardly old-looking at all. And the baby too who'd been quiet after maybe eating some of her own crap looked curiously at her new grandpa she was finished crying she just babbled on and on. Grandpa wrapped her in a sheet and lifted her out of the crib she kept watching me to see if it was all right.

“It's all right,” I said. “This is your new grandpa from America.”

Grandpa laughed I'd better drink some coffee first to wake me up he said otherwise I'll make a mess of it can you find where things are in the kitchen? He had this fast way of talking that reminded me of Tsvi's I took out a cup and the sugar I brought him milk and instant coffee I even put the kettle on the stove and told him to light it he did with one hand I took some cake from the bread box he smiled I see you know your way around here I didn't answer though I knew what he was getting at he cut a piece of cake for us both and gave me mine as though the guest was me and not him. The water boiled he poured it with one hand he held the baby with the other he sat down to drink. The rain was quiet outside it ran down the window what's all this rain he said. It's the last one I said so he said it doesn't look like the last one to me it's plain rain and there's going to be plenty more he seemed sore at it so I asked have you had the last rain in America yet there's no last rain there he said that's an Israeli invention so now he was sore at all of Israel. The baby lay on his knees watching him put cake in his mouth and drink his coffee. Every now and then her eyes closed from sleepiness but she kept moving her mouth as though she were eating along with him. All at once she sat up with a whimper so he put some cake on his fork and stuck it in her mouth at first the fork scared her but then she started to suck on the cake because she has no teeth so he gave her some more and she ate that too she didn't know what to make of it. I don't know if mom would have allowed it but he was in charge now he was from the minute he got up.

She kept eating and he fed her with a smile she really reeks he said we have to wash her. He pushed the plate away. Who baked this cake your mother? Your grandmother baked wonderful cakes.

“My grandma in the hospital?”

“Yes.”

I didn't say anything. He looked at me.

“No one's ever taken you to see her?”

“No. They don't want me to catch it from her.”

“Catch it?!” he almost shouted. “Catch what?”

“What she's got.”

“That's ridiculous. Who told you that?”

“My dad.”

“What does your father know about such things!”

I didn't say anything. He looked at me.

“I'll tell your mother to take you to see your grandmother. She loved you so much when you were a baby.”

I didn't say anything.

All of a sudden Rakefet fell asleep with her open mouth smeared with chocolate. She's already asleep I said maybe you don't have to bathe her.

“Doesn't she like baths?”

“Sometimes. She likes it when mom sings to her.”

It was awfully weird to be talking like that with a new grandpa I didn't even know. The baby was really asleep all that chocolate cake must have pooped her out. Grandpa was thinking. I guess he was afraid to give her a bath too but when he smelled her he made up his mind we have to he said you'll help me. All right I said but I hope you realize that she'll start screaming again.

“We'll survive. When you were little your father and mother once left you with us in Tel Aviv and you screamed all night long. Your grandmother didn't sleep a wink.”

“Did she take care of me?”

“You bet.”

“Was she sick then too?”

“Of course not.”

“Why did mom and dad bring me to you?”

“They just wanted a little rest from you.”

He bent over again to smell the baby sleeping in her BM like the smell was supposed to tell him what to do all of a sudden I thought suppose I really caught what grandma has she must have had it then too. And just then something hurt near my heart it was even right in my heart. Why did mom and dad have to leave me with them? Grandpa stood up and put Rakefet in her crib I showed him where everything was and how to fill the bath he opened the closet and began taking out clothes and diapers and a towel it was weird how he poked around in there as though he needn't even ask all the time he kept pulling out clothes and opening and smelling them and checking how the buttons and the zippers worked. So I gave him the soap and of course he smelled that too I helped him fill the tub he brought an electric heater to the bathroom and turned it on. We put the thermometer in the water but I didn't know where the mercury should be he went to get his glasses when he put them on and looked at it he didn't know either. So he told me to keep my hand in the bath and tell him how it felt I kept telling him hot until he checked it himself you call this hot he said it's ice cold at last he told me to bring him a spoon so he could taste it. When he was finally ready he went to get the baby she was fast asleep wrapped in a sheet the telephone rang I wanted to get it don't leave me now he said I need you too much. And he told me to close the bathroom door.