A Kiss for Cade (20 page)

Struggling to keep her response impersonal, she spoke between gritted teeth. “I don’t do anything on a conditional basis.”

The smell of sunshine and drying laundry filled her senses as he lowered her until their faces were inches apart. She turned her head, averting her eyes. “Let me go. I’m hot and sweaty.”

Playfully, he pretended to drop her. Instinctively her arms tightened around his neck.

“Stop it!”

He firmed his grip mischievously. “A gentleman would never drop a lady…especially a lady who looks good enough to kiss.”

He set her gently on her feet and slid a hand behind her neck, keeping the other one around her waist. “I’m probably going to get my face slapped, but I’m going to kiss you.”

Swallowing, she licked her dry lips. His brashness unnerved her. Jim would have never taken such liberties, been so reckless. “Don’t do this, Cade,” she warned. “Let me go before the neighbors see you.”

She squirmed in his arms but was unable to free herself. Specks of water beaded on his shoulders. She’d forgotten how the feel of his bare skin ignited emotion in her, emotion she didn’t want to feel. His eyes softened, and she anticipated his kiss.

But she knew she couldn’t let it happen, no matter how much she wanted it. One kiss, and the madness would start all over again. Had it ever really ended? Once it could have been so very good between them if he’d only come back. Would she have lost the baby? Would it have made any difference if he’d known that she carried his child?

Their gazes locked, and he must have seen something of her inner pain, because instead of touching her lips with his, he released her. She saw—what? Regret? Trifling indifference? But now that she was free, she was reluctant to leave the warmth of his embrace.

Finally she looked away, smoothing her skirt. “Will you be home for supper?”

“Is that an invitation?”

“I made an apple cobbler.”

“How did you know apple’s my favorite?”

“I still have my faculties.” She refused to meet his flirtatious gaze.

He crooked his forefinger under her chin and tipped up her face so that she looked at him. “I’ll be here.”

Stepping away, she leaned and picked up a shirt and pinned it to the line. “No new cases during the night?”

“None that I know of.”

She sighed and hung another shirt on the line.

Bringing his hands to his hips, he scanned the long rows of wash. “Did all this come from the jail?”

“Not all of it. Some are the children’s things.” She saw him mentally counting the skirts, petticoats, and feminine undergarments. The tally was large, even for sickness. She had to think quick—she couldn’t risk him suspecting she was taking in wash for extra money. “I’m…doing Mrs. Penscott a favor. She’s down in her back with lumbago.” She rolled her eyes heavenward, praying forgiveness for her fib.

“Daisy Penscott? Judge Penscott’s widow? You’d think she had enough money to hire her wash done.”

“You’d think.” Wedging a clothespin between his lips, she murmured, “Here, make yourself useful. Hang Will’s long johns for me.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

M
r. Drake will see you now.” Mary Beth Peters smiled as she ushered Zoe into the bank president’s office late that afternoon.

Perry Drake might be president of the bank, but stout, middle-aged spinster Mary Beth Peters was his right hand, without whom Zoe doubted Perry would have risen past bank teller. Mary Beth’s jolly demeanor was always good for the soul.

“I was just sick to hear about the yard goods,” Mary Beth said. “I had my heart set on a new dress. Are you going to reorder?”

Zoe didn’t have the money to order a handkerchief, let alone bolts of fabric. “I haven’t decided, Mary Beth.”

As the women approached Perry’s desk, he rose to shake hands. “Zoe, you’ve been on my mind. I trust that you’re not overdoing?”

“I’m fine. Cade stayed at the jail last night.”

“That’s good.”

Perry had kept fit and lean. He wasn’t as muscular as Cade, but he was distinguished looking. His slighter build reminded her of Jim.

Mary Beth excused herself and returned to her desk.

Sitting down, Perry smiled. “I’m glad you stopped by. Are the children with you?”

“Gracie took them home with her this morning. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

“She’s a fine woman.”

“That she is.”

“I figured Cade would be gone by now.”

Was that resentment in his features? “He will be soon. This fever outbreak delayed him.”

Perry lifted his gaze. “I asked because there’s been talk…him staying at your place…”

“Talk, Perry? I’m surprised you listen to gossip. The only reason he’s staying in the mercantile is because the roof blew off the jail.”

Perry leaned back in his chair, stroking his chin. “Has he found a home for the kids?”

“I’m hoping to keep them myself, even though Cade is dead set against it.” The banker’s brows lifted. “He thinks I should marry and have my own children.”

“He’s right. Not many men would want to marry a woman saddled with four children.”

Saddled? She stiffened. Since when did Perry view children as a burden?

The bank’s clock chimed the hour, sounding like the Liberty Bell in the awkward silence. Zoe pressed a handkerchief against her cheek, blotting perspiration brought on by the insufferable heat.

“I’d like to talk to you about increasing my loan,” she said.

“Again?” Perry ran his finger along the inside of his collar.

She leaned closer, aware that he was embarrassed by the request. “A small amount, just enough to pay my bills this month. I’ve lost the yard goods. I’ll need to reorder.”

The banker steepled his fingers, gazing at her. “Would you consider a personal loan? I’m afraid the stockholders won’t…that is, without more security…”

She sympathized with his position. It wasn’t easy to turn a friend away. The remorse in his eyes was sincere but little consolation to her. “I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t absolutely necessary. I’ve gone over the books, and there’s no other way. I counted on a profit from those yard goods, and now I’m not only out the price of the order, but I’ll have to purchase more.”

Perry lowered his voice. “If it were up to me, I’d loan you any amount you wanted. I know you’re having a difficult time making ends meet, but my hands are tied without additional collateral.”

Collateral. Zoe hated the word. She had mortgaged everything she and Jim owned, and still it wasn’t enough. She fell farther behind every day. Sinking back in her chair, she worried the corner of her handkerchief.

“If you won’t accept my offer,” Perry went on, “then perhaps another private party. Frank Lovell is always willing to make loans.”

“I’d never ask Frank for money.” She pictured the town skinflint, who was known for the exorbitant interest he charged. She was tired of him coming around, trying to attract her with his wealth. All the money in the world wouldn’t make him appealing. He already owned most everything in Winterborn. Let him be happy with that.

“I’d rather lose the store than go to Frank.”

“Sell the store, Zoe. To someone.” She stood to leave, but the seriousness in Perry’s tone made her sit again.

“Your loyalty to Jim is admirable,” Perry went on, “but you’re in trouble because of his inability to handle business matters. Jim was too generous. I don’t know anyone in town who went hungry while he was alive.”

Zoe sighed. “That’s part of my problem. I’m having a hard time saying no now when families counted on Jim for so long to see them through.”

“Your problem is those four kids. Give them up, Zoe. You can’t afford them.”

Perry was a friend and confidant. She usually respected his advice, but not today. “I can’t afford to give them up, Perry. They’re a part of me. I can’t imagine handing them over to strangers.”

He got out of his chair, came around his desk, and laid a hand on her shoulder. “You get that silly notion out of your head. Cade will find the kids a good home, and you can get on with your life. Maybe even remarry. There’s still plenty of time to have children.”

No, there wasn’t. Sadness washed over her. She would never have her own children. The miscarriage fifteen years ago had left her barren. Her sadness had evolved into biting resentment. Cade owed her Addy’s children! Addy had known Zoe couldn’t have other children, so why hadn’t she given them to her?

Perry’s voice drew her back. “The last thing you need are several mouths to feed. You’re working yourself to death taking in washing and ironing, running the store, and looking after Addy’s kids. If you sold out to Frank, your worries would be over.”

“All the money would go to pay off the bank note.”

Perching on the corner of the desk, Perry focused on her. “I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do. You know how fond I am of you. If you would consider me a serious suitor—”

Vacating her chair, she moved to the window beside his desk. “Perry, please. You’ve been a good friend. Let’s not spoil the relationship.” She watched people go about their daily routine and thought about his offer. No. She could never marry him.

“Is it Cade? Is that whom you’re waiting for? If so, you’ll be an old woman by the time he settles down.”

She shook her head. “Cade? Don’t be absurd. I’m not that foolish.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

He rose to join her. “Speak of the devil, there he is now.” Cade passed by carrying a tray of food from Glori-Lee’s.

“For a bounty hunter, he makes an admirable nurse,” Perry mused. “Still, I hope he moves on soon. This town doesn’t need the riffraff his type could bring in.”

His words rankled. “I don’t approve of his occupation either, but the children’s welfare isn’t something you can hurry. He has his faults, but Addy loved him and was confident he would do right by her children.”

Her defense of Cade surprised Perry as much as it did her, judging from his sour expression. Cade wasn’t an angel, but Perry had no right to judge him.

Perry snapped the shade closed. “Addy was blind to his faults.”

How could she justify Addy’s intentions when she didn’t understand them herself?

Sobering, Perry took her by the shoulders. “You know Jim wouldn’t want you to be alone or unhappy. He loved you more than life itself.”

Her brave front began to slip as he drew her to him and held her close. Momentarily leaning into the comfort of his shoulder, she closed her eyes. Then she stepped back, trying to regain her composure. “I’m needed at the jail.”

“Wait a minute.” Perry returned to his desk and pulled a ledger from the top drawer. “I insist on writing you a personal draft sufficient to see you through the next few months.”

Her hand flew to cover his. “I won’t hear of it.”

“Be reasonable. Your options have run out. What other choice do you have if you’re intent on keeping the store?”

“I will not impose on my friends for financial help.”

She turned around and walked out of the office. She might be broke, but she still had her pride. Not even financial ruin could take that away from her. And Perry, though he would deny otherwise, would expect matrimony prospects, something she wasn’t prepared to offer.