A Killing Rain (2 page)

Tuesday, January 12

His hands were sweating. And his heart was beating too fast, making his chest tight. What the hell was wrong with him? He had faced this before and survived. He knew what to expect, knew
that it was only painful for the first couple of minutes and then you just went numb until it was over.

So why was he afraid this time?

Louis Kincaid got out of the Mustang and took a few seconds to just stand there, staring at the house. He glanced up at the night sky. No moon, no stars. Just a cool breeze blowing in from the gulf, whispering rain.

The porch light was on and a pale green
Luna moth was chasing a smaller moth, throwing itself against the glowing globe. Louis rang the bell. No answer. He pushed it again and as he waited, he watched the green moth. Now it was gripping the edge of the glass, exhausted, its wings tattered from its mating ritual. The other moth had disappeared.

He ran his wet palms down his thighs, catching sight of his black slacks. He was covered in cat hair.

Shit...damn it to hell.

The door jerked open.

Benjamin looked up at him through the screen.

“She isn’t ready yet,” he said.

Louis glanced at his watch. The dinner reservation was for eight-thirty. They weren’t going to make it

“You better come in ’cause it might be a while,” Benjamin said, holding
the screen open.

“Good idea,” Louis said.

He followed the boy into the living room. The floor was strewn with school books, a loose-leaf binder and pieces of a plastic toy that looked like a futuristic car model. “Beauty and the Beast” was on, the sound turned down. Benjamin sat down cross-legged on the floor, his skinny brown legs protruding from baggy red shorts, his sticklike arms covered to the elbows by a too-big Michael Jordan T-shirt.

Louis perched on the edge of the sofa, glancing around.

“Ben, is April coming over?” he asked.

Benjamin made a face as he busied himself with a toy car. “I don’t need April anymore.”

“You’re too young to stay alone,” Louis said.

“My friend Joshua stays alone.”

“Well, maybe next year when you’re twelve.”

Louis glanced at his watch again, seeing his reservation for the
waterfront table, and the whole evening, going up in smoke.

“Ben, do me a favor,” he said. “Go see wha
t’s taking your mom so long.”

Benjamin didn’t look up. “She’s doing her hair again. I heard her swearing at it in
the bathroom.”

Louis stifled a sigh and brushed at the cat hairs on his cuffs.

“So how come it took you so long to ask my mom for a date?” Benjamin asked.

Louis pursed his lips, trying to think of an answer. He had been thinking about asking Susan Outlaw for a date almost from the day he met her more than a year ago. But she was a public defender and he had been a private investigator working for her.
An awkward situation to begin with, with no room for romance. When the case ended, though, he had asked Susan out. She had refused, saying she didn’t want to get involved with anyone. It stayed that way for over a year.

One night his friend Mel
Landeta offered some advice. “Well, Rocky, you need to either get off your island or let her get on it with you,” Mel said.

“What do you mean?”

“Women like to get inside you. You got to let her in.”

So he had tried. Tried the small talk, tried to be less cautious, tried even to make an effort with her son Benjamin. Benjamin wa
rmed up to him first. Then Susan came around.

And now, here he was, sitting on Susan’s sofa like some pimply prom date, complete with sweaty palms, racing pulse, and cat-hair pants.

He glanced toward Susan’s closed bedroom door. It took him a moment to realize Benjamin was staring at him.

“Your pants are hairy,” Benjamin said.

Louis smiled. “Yeah, I know. My whole house is hairy.”

“Ma’s got a lint brush. You
wanna borrow it?”

“Nah, that’s okay.”

Benjamin shrugged and went back to putting the car together – or taking it apart, Louis wasn’t sure. But he did know this: he liked the kid...no doubt about it. He liked the kid’s mother. He liked the fact there might be a place for him in their world.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Benjamin said.

“What question?”

“Why
it took you so long to ask Ma out?”

“F
ear.”

“Are you afraid of her?”

Louis didn’t -— couldn’t -— answer that one.

“Yeah, she can be mean sometimes,” Benjamin said. “But it’s for our own good.”

Louis smiled. Benjamin was twisting the toy.

“What is that?” Louis asked.

“Optimus Prime.”

“
Looks like a car to me,” Louis said, his eyes wandering back to Susan’s bedroom door.

“Watch.”
Benjamin pulled and twisted on the toy and then held it out proudly. Now it looked like a robot. “It’s a Transformer,” he said.

Louis caught a whiff of something sweet and looked up. Susan was standing under the archway of the hall, hand on her hip.

“Makes you feel old, huh?” she said.

One glance was all he needed to take her in.
Some kind of black blouse that draped nicely across her breasts, offering a peek of brown skin in the deep V of the neckline. A spark of light at her ears that he finally saw was just earrings catching the light of the dining room chandelier.

Louis found his voice. “I’m
twenty-eight but when it comes to kids, I feel fifty.”

She frowned.
“Twenty-eight?”

Louis realized she was looking at him like he was a bug on the wall. “How old did you think I was?”

She threw up her hands, but they just hung in the air, the fingers wiggling nervously. “I don’t know. I guess it doesn’t matter. I just thought...”

“Thought what?”

She dropped her arms. “Never mind.”

Benjamin was watching
them. “Ma’s thirty-two,” he said.

Ben!”

Susan turned and went into the kitchen. Benjamin looked at Louis and shrugged.

She was embarrassed?
But why? Not at being thirty-two, he guessed, but more so at being the “older woman.” Man, he needed to fix this if the evening was going to go anywhere. He followed her into the kitchen. She was pulling steaks from the refrigerator.

T
he words came out before he could stop them. “I thought we were going out.”

She faced him, the package of T-bones sagging in her hand. “Going out? I thought you meant...”

It was then he noticed she was wearing jeans. “You said you wanted a steak. You didn’t say —-”

She dropped the meat on the counter. “Well, shoot,” she muttered. She looked around the kitchen, at the loaf of French
bread on the counter, the potatoes, the salad in its teak bowl. Louis realized she had put real effort into this, but so had he in trying to get that special table at La Veranda, including twenty bucks in advance to the maître’d.

Susan gave a small shrug. “I guess if you want to go out, we can go out. I can call April and we can
—-”

Louis held up both hands. “Relax. It’s fine.”

“No, it isn’t. Look, you’re already ticked off because you had some high hopes of —-”

He touched her shoulder. She didn’t move away.

“I’m not ticked off. I can do the family thing. I don’t mind.”

She turned and leaned against the counter, brushing a stray hair back off her face. Then she crossed her arms.

“Look, I don’t know exactly what I did,” Louis said. “But I’m sorry.”

“It’s me,” she said quietly. “I might have misled you, you know, about dinner. It’s just, well, I didn’t think you’d come if I told you I wanted to have it at home.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s just that it’s been so long,” she whispered, staring at the floor.

“So long since what, Ma?” said the small voice behind him.

They both looked down at Benjamin standing in the doorway. Susan moved away from Louis quickly and began ripping open the steaks.

“So long since what?” Benjamin asked again.

She glanced
at him then her eyes flicked up to Louis. “Since I’ve had a good piece of meat,” she said.

Louis turned away, smiling. Benjamin slid into a chair, his car sprouting arms again. “We having steaks?” he asked. “We never eat steaks.”

“Yes, we’re having steaks,” Susan said.

“Is that what people eat on dates?”

Susan looked at him but didn’t reply. Louis sat down at the yellow Formica dining set. He broke the awkward silence by clearing his throat. “Do you have anything to drink?”

Before Susan could answer, Benjamin jumped to
the fridge, yanking open the door. He plopped a can down in front of Louis.

“Ma got you
Dr Pepper. She says you like it.”

Louis looked from Benjamin up to Susan. He could see a tint of red color her skin. “I have wine if you’d rather have that,” she said, holding up a bottle.

“This is good,” Louis said, popping the tab. He could feel Benjamin’s eyes on him as he drank.

Susan brought the wine to the table with a corkscrew. “Well, I could use a drink. You mind doing the honors?”

As Louis opened the bottle, Benjamin continued to twist his robot back into a car.

“What is the purpose of that?” Louis asked.

“Transformation,” Benjamin said. “You know, changing into something else.”

“That could be handy,” Louis said.

“Yeah, like if you’re being chased or something, you could change into something else.”

“Cops could be superheroes,” Louis said. “Like the Six Million Dollar Man.”

Benjamin made a face. “Kinda.”

Louis looked back at Susan. She was watching them, and she had a strange look on her face
—- almost like pleasure. It took him a moment to realize that her look wasn’t just at him being here on a date. It was him being here with Benjamin.

“If you could transform, what would you turn into?” Benjamin asked.

Louis looked back at him. Benjamin was peering at him with large brown eyes behind black-rimmed glasses.

“I don’t know. Maybe I’d transform into head of detectives for Fort Myers Police.”

Benjamin cocked his head. “But you’re a P.I. That’s more cool.”

Louis glanced back at Susan. She was busy getting the steaks ready for the oven, but he knew she was listening to every word.

“What about you?” Louis asked Benjamin. “What would you be?”

“A bird, so I could fly.”

Louis turned in his chair. “And you?” he asked Susan.

She was
slicing the French bread with a huge knife and when she faced him, she held the knife up in her hand.

“I like being me,” she said. “I like being a mother and I like what I do. I have no desire to be something else.”

Benjamin slipped from the chair again and disappeared into the living room. Susan dumped the potatoes into a pan and put it on the stove.

She grabbed two tumblers from the cabinet and came to the table to sit down. Louis looked at the glasses, the wine bottle in his hand.

“Ben’s using my only two wineglasses for a school project,” she said. “They’re supposed to be underwater space stations or something. They’re covered with algae by now, I’m sure.”

“I understand,” Louis said, pouring the wine into the tumblers.

She gave him a wry smile. “I doubt it.”

“I was a kid once, you know.”

She took a drink of wine, her eyes never leaving his across the rim of her cup. “I’m sorry,” she said finally. “It’s just... well, you need to know what you’re getting into here, Louis. Living with a child is different. There are things you have to do...different.”

She was trying to put him off again, trying to warn him of the “dangers” and responsibilities of taking care of a child. He knew it was also her w
ay of making sure that he understood she came with baggage that was four feet tall with glasses.

He looked at her. “Susan, I don’t care about the wine-glasses.”

She looked away. “It’s not the wineglasses. It’s him. We’ve been by ourselves so much, and I have never brought anyone —- any man —- into his life for fear he would get attached when there was no chance...”

She rose suddenly and went to check the steaks. It was quiet for a moment
.

“Susan, I promise I won’t hurt him.”

She didn’t turn.

He let out a breath and took a drink of the wine.