A Jade's Trick (Lilly Black's Jaded Series Book 1) (31 page)

"I should probably sleep at home tonight," I say as we're heading back to his apartment.

"Stay with me one more night," Cain implores as he us drives down the dark, almost empty streets of the Gaslamp.  It's really late.

"Okay, but I have to go home in the morning.  I have to work tomorrow night."

"Quit your job."

"You know I can't do that."

"I'll support you," he says, his eyes like a child who cannot imagine why I wouldn't acquiesce.

"Cain, no," I plead with him to understand.

"Then I'll..."

"...buy Prometheus and fire me?"

"I was going to say encourage Steph to buy Prometheus and fire you."

"Because it would be so much better to be fired by that asshole," I snipe.  "Remind me.  If we're equals, why do you think you get to make my employment decisions?"

"We'll be equals in the dungeon.  Out here in the real world, I'm the one in charge, little girl."

"Oh, I see."  I try to sound angry, but it's too late.  He has made me laugh.

The next morning as Cain leaves for work, he kisses me goodbye and places an envelope on the nightstand.  I drift back to sleep, but when I wake, I see it and remember.  There's a passkey to the apartment with the alarm code and a note that says he still hopes to find me here when he gets home this evening.  I want nothing more myself, but if I let him support me, I'll look exactly like what Catherine Ballantyne thinks I am.  I can't live with that.

Back home, Nicole is talking a mile a minute, wanting to know everything that has happened since we last saw each other, and rather than talk about sex, which is just about all Cain and I have done since Thursday night, I focus on more innocuous things like his offer for me to quit work and the closet he had built for me.  I don't think I've ever seen Nicole so envious.  This is the life she has always wanted.  She would have quit Prometheus in a heartbeat and would never have cared for a second what Catherine or anyone else thought about it.  That's where we're different.  Nicole knows she's worthy.  She has no idea what it's like to have my irrational drive to keep up appearances at all costs because nothing ever happened to her to make her feel tainted.  I feel like the whole world will see through me if I allow the tiniest of cracks in my perfect facade, everyone but Nicole...and now Cain, but I don't think I'll ever tell Nicole the true deepest and darkest of my secrets.  Someday I may have to tell Cain.

When we get to work, the bar is steady, keeping me busy enough until around 10:00 when I see Caleb Ballantyne coming out of the elevator, looking around nervously as he makes his way to the bar.

"Everything okay?" I ask.

"Huh?  Yeah," he says, his eyes scanning the crowd.

"Can I get you a drink?"

"Sure.  Whatever beer you have on tap.  Is Nicole here?" he asks.

"She's around here somewhere." 

"Actually, I came to talk to you.  Is there someplace private?" I indicate a door to the right of the waitress station at the end of the bar.

"It goes to the kitchen.  I'll be there in a sec."

"Thanks, Evan," he says, warily scanning the bar again before slipping through the door.  I get someone to cover for me and follow him, carrying his beer.

"So what's up?" I ask as the door swings closed behind me.

"Have you heard anything about the charity event at the country club next Saturday night?"

"No."

"It's for unwed mothers or some shit, one of Cain's charities, the whole family is expected to attend."

"Cain hasn't mentioned it," I say coldly. 

"He probably won't because mom will be there, and..."

"I see."  I try not to, but I know I don't go a good job of hiding that I feel like I've been punched in the stomach.

"It's not about her.  It's about you.  He doesn't want you to feel obligated to sit at a table with her after...you know.  It will be fine, though.  I swear.  I'll be there, Cary will, and Mom will be on her best behavior.  She'd never make a scene at the club." 

"If Cain wants me to go, he'll ask me, and since I can't imagine him ever needing his big brother to take care of anything for him, why are you really here?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"You could have just called me or sent this message to me through Nicole..."

"I don't think I should see Nicole anymore."  When he says this, I feel that punch in the stomach again, and it feels no less intense than if I were its intended target.  Part of me is relieved because she shouldn't be messing with a married man, especially one as fucked up as Caleb Ballantyne, but the part of me who knows how hurt she is going to be wants to slap him across the face and knee him in the balls.

"I'm married, Evan, and I meant it when I took those vows," he says, coming off very condescending.

"If you expect me to be the one to tell her, you can go..." 

"No!  Of course not.  I'll tell her myself.  I'm just not ready yet." 

"That isn't fair, Caleb.  If you know it's over today, don't humiliate her by letting her walk around thinking about you while you work up the courage to tell her the truth."

You fucking coward!
 

"None of this is fair.  I just don't want to tell her until I am sure I can stay away from her because there is no sense hurting her today if I am going to beg her forgiveness tomorrow.  I hate my wife, Evan.  I haven't been happy in years, but I've never had a problem keeping my vows until I met Nicole.  She's my first thought when I wake in the morning and my last when I fall asleep at night, so don't think I'm taking this lightly."  Caleb sighs.

"So I guess divorce is against your religion?" I ask.

"It's not that easy.  You saw how my mom reacted to you, and Cain and Liz weren't even officially engaged.  Arianna and I have been married six years.  If I ask Nicole to be my mistress, our whole relationship will have to be kept secret.  I'll never be able to take her anywhere like the club next Saturday night.  You know how that is going to make her feel, but that part of my life will belong to my bitch wife.  I guess that's why I'm really here." 

"Because if I go with Cain, you don't want me to tell Nicole about it?" I ask.

"No.  I won't ask you to do that.  I just need you to...help me.  I need to know if our situation is hurting her because I would rather suffer without her than do anything to hurt her." 

Suffer?  Odd choice of words,
I think as it occurs to me that perhaps a little bondage might be the answer to their problems.  Maybe Nicole could better cope with having to share him with his wife if she got to whip him once in a while, and maybe Caleb could better cope with the guilt he feels for putting her through that by taking her beatings.  Then it occurs to me that I am thinking in those terms like it's perfectly normal. 
Damn it, Cain!
 

"I will definitely let you know," I say, though I really want to tell him to grow the fuck up and handle this like an adult.  If not for the lines on Caleb's face, it would be very hard to believe that Cain isn't the big brother.

"Thank you," he says.

"Sure.  I'll see if the coast is clear for you to get to the elevator," I say.

"Wait!" he calls as I head toward the door.  "I do want to see Nicole tonight, but I don't want her to see me sneaking out of the kitchen." 

I watch through the tiny window in the door until Nicole disappears beyond the reflecting pool. Caleb walks out and stands by the waitress station nursing his draught, and when she comes back to the bar and sees him, her eyes light up.  I hate this whole situation because no matter how infatuated they are, sooner or later the other shoe will drop, and when it does, it will be the designer pump on the foot of Arianna Ballantyne.

And now that that's settled, it's time to start tormenting myself about next Saturday night.  I don't want Cain to feel like he has to decline the invitation because of me.  I wouldn't mind if he went without me.  Catherine, bitch that she is, is still his mother, and I don't want to be the reason the whole family can't be there.  Then it occurs to me that I might not want him to be there alone.  It could be an opportunity for Catherine to push her chosen future daughter-in-law on him, and I don't think I could handle the thought of him there all night with Elizabeth in a sexy cocktail dress doing her best to get her claws back into him.  She's not just an ex.  She's the ex - the one he was going to marry, and she won't be the only ex there since Cain went to high school and college right here in La Jolla.

Fuck me! 
Now I have to go because there is no way am I sending him alone into a den of opportunistic she-wolves!  Besides, if he really wants me there, it's not like I stand any chance of getting out of it anyway.

At the end of my shift, I empty my tip jar to cash in the singles for larger bills, and though it is not unusual for it to be overflowing with ones on a Saturday night, what I find hidden in the middle of the smaller bills is Caleb's real reason for coming to the bar tonight.  He was here to distract me.

"Cain!" I growl as I pull dozens of hundred dollar bills out of the jar.  It makes me crazy that he ignores my wishes, but I have to give him credit for another clever loophole.

"Goddamn it, Cain!" I shout when he answers his cell phone.

"Who is this?" he asks.

"Who is this?" I demand incredulously.

"I know who it is, Evan.  I've been expecting your call."

"Oh, really?  And what were you expecting me to call about?  Your brother's ridiculous story about you not having the balls to ask me to the charity dinner or him distracting me so you could have someone stuff my tip jar?"

"What did Caleb say about the charity dinner?"

"You tell me.  You sent him."

"Not to talk about that."

"Oh," I say coldly. 
Did he not want me to know about it? 

"So will you go with me?  Dave said you could have the night off."

"Cain!  What the fuck?" 

"Just say you'll go with me," he urges, and I can't tell him no.

"On one condition," I say.

"I'm not taking the money back."

"I'm not giving the money back.  My tip jar, my money."  It's pointless to argue with him anyway.

"Then what's the condition?" Cain asks.

"You brief me on all your exes who could be there."

"That's all?" 

"That's all."

"We can do it the night before.  Dave said you could take next Friday off as well."

"If we have time on Friday, but as it stands now, once I verify that with Dave to make sure you're not trying to trick me into getting fired for not showing up, I plan to punish you severely for your behavior tonight." 

"I look forward to it, Domina," Cain says, pausing for a second.  "Just as soon as you say the magic words."

"Good.  Night.  Cain.  That's three."

"You can't expect me to go back to sleep now," he complains.  "Come over."

"Good night, Cain."  I repeat.

"You're cruel," he groans.

"You have no idea," I warn him in a sultry, low purr, and when I press the button to end the call, I look up to find Nicole staring at me.

"What?" I ask.

"You.  You love him."

"Do not," I argue.

Do, too
, says the little voice in my head.