A Husband's Regret (The Unwanted Series) (15 page)

“How do you know?”

“A dress.” Bryce shook his head in shattered disbelief. “I was
so
sure of what I’d seen that night, I could remember every single detail of the accident scene down to the dress she was wearing as she stood there watching me scream her name.” He fought back the urge to laugh like a maniac, knowing that it would send him careening off the edge of reason. “Only she wasn’t wearing a dress the night she left me, Rick. I should have known that because I now remember thinking how damned sexy she looked in those jeans, just moments before everything went to hell. Not the cocktail dress I’d been remembering her in for the last two years but a pair of
jeans
and a T-shirt. Oh God . . . oh my
God
!” He saw Rick go pale and knew that he had to look equally pasty-faced. The younger man blasphemed shakily.

“So now what, Bryce?”

Bryce shook his head helplessly at his brother’s question.

“Now I give her everything she wants because that’s the least of what she deserves.”

“What if she wants a divorce?”

It was the one thing Bryce had been trying not to think about, and he flinched from the question.

“I wouldn’t blame her.” Bryce’s eyes fell to his happily bubbling daughter, who was trying to share her stuffed toys with a still-crying Rhys. “But I’m not sure what I’ll do if she asks for one.”

Bronwyn came down about an hour later to find Rick and Lisa in the conservatory with Kayla and Rhys. The children were playing together contentedly. There was no sign of Bryce. Rick hopped to his feet agitatedly when he saw her enter the room and immediately apologized.

“I was unforgivably rude and needlessly cruel, Bron,” he muttered, shoving his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. “I’m so sorry. I know I hurt you, but . . . damn it, Bron, he’s my brother and he was so
damaged
and so completely changed by something we all thought was your fault. It just felt like too large an obstacle to overcome!”

“Technically it was my fault,” she pointed out grimly. “He came after me that night, and if not for that he would not have had his accident.”

“No, it was
his
fault and he admits as much. If he hadn’t been such an absolute bastard about your pregnancy, none of it would have happened. I’m so sorry, Bronwyn.”

“Ricky.” She sighed wearily, not sure why she felt the need to comfort him but wanting to set his mind at ease nonetheless. “You were being loyal to your brother. It was his word against mine. You did what you thought was right.”

“What do you plan to do now?” Rick asked after an awkward pause. He was unable to look her in the eye, and she knew how hard the truth must have hit him. Knowing how unjustly he and Bryce had treated her would not sit comfortably with someone who had such an innate sense of fairness. She knew that it would eat at him for a while and that their relationship might never go back to the way it was before.

“What do you mean?” she asked tiredly.

“Well, my brother is pretty torn up about this, Bron.”

She laughed grimly at his words, cutting him off.

“Yes, and it’s always about
him
isn’t it?” she asked bitterly.

“No, it’s just . . .” Rick trailed off awkwardly, not sure what to say. “Will you leave him?”

“He doesn’t really want
me
, you know? He wants Kayla. I’m just excess baggage.” She shrugged.

“He’ll give you just about anything you ask for right now,” Rick pointed out.

“Is that so? Well then, where is he? Maybe it’s time I start making my demands. While his guilt lasts . . .”

“Bronwyn, you’re being—” he began, but Lisa, who had been keeping the children occupied, interrupted whatever he’d been about to say.

“Bryce is in his study,” she informed quietly, absently picking Kayla up and handing her over to Rick while she lifted Rhys into her arms. Bronwyn nodded her thanks and dropped a loving kiss on her daughter’s head before turning on her heel and heading out of the room.

She didn’t ring the doorbell; she wanted an honest reaction from him and did not want to give him time to mask whatever he was feeling. So she strode in confidently and then halted before she’d gotten more than two steps into the room, suddenly unsure of her decision.

He sat behind his huge desk, with his head in his hands in almost exactly the same pose as the day before but he looked so incredibly lost and alone that, for a moment, she was unsure of what her next move should be. He must have sensed her presence because he looked up unexpectedly, pinning her to the spot with his tormented gaze. It said a lot for the changed status of their relationship that he did not immediately fly off the handle because of her supposed “intrusion” into his lair.

“I can’t fix this,” he admitted bleakly. His voice was quivering in a way that would have killed his pride if he had been able to hear it. “I don’t know how to.” He looked strangely defenseless with his messy hair and his disheveled clothing, but she steeled herself against his vulnerability. While she was happy that he now knew the truth, the simple fact of the matter was that she couldn’t trust him with her heart. It had
never
been safe with him, but she hadn’t known it until he had so ruthlessly rejected her two years ago. Yes, he was now filled with regret about the mistake he had made immediately following his accident, but he still had no explanations or apologies for the behavior that had driven her out in the first place.

She did not know what to say to him, did not know what she wanted from him anymore. Just the day before she had idealistically and unrealistically imagined that if they tried to get along, their relationship would improve and they could build on that. Of course, they both had Kayla’s best interests at heart and wanted to provide stability for her, but Bronwyn deserved better than a second-rate marriage, with them staying together only for the sake of their daughter. Right now Bronwyn also honestly believed that Kayla would be better off if their marriage was severed sooner rather than later. It was better than raising their baby in an atmosphere of mistrust.

After all, this was the man who had thought nothing of kicking her out of their home after discovering that she was pregnant with his baby. The same man who had left her to fend for herself when she was at her weakest. He had also accused her of the most heinous of acts and no amount of guilt now could make up for his many sins. Any relationship that they tried to salvage from this wreckage of a marriage would be based on a foundation of guilt and misguided obligation.

“I don’t think it
can
be fixed anymore, Bryce,” she said reluctantly, moving toward his desk and sitting down in the huge leather chair across from him. He flinched and averted his face briefly before turning his head to look at her once more.

“So what do you want to do?” he asked tonelessly.

“I don’t know,” she admitted helplessly. “I think we would all be better off if we, you and I, were no longer together. Let’s face it, after two years of separation, the next logical step is a mere formality.”

“You want to leave,” he said matter-of-factly. “Again.”

“I didn’t exactly
want
to leave the last time, Bryce,” she reminded him pointedly. She was small-minded enough to enjoy seeing the barb hit home. “I just don’t think this situation can be redeemed. Too much has been said and done to go back.” He scrubbed a tired hand over his face before tilting his head back and shutting his eyes. After a few moments of silence, he opened his eyes and looked back at her with his piercing eyes.

“What do you plan to do after you leave?”

“I’m going back to university to finish my studies.”

“Won’t it be difficult to be a full-time student when you’re a single parent again?” Her mouth gaped in surprise at the wholly unexpected question.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I assumed that I was no longer a single parent.” His eyes flickered with something akin to relief, and Bronwyn’s surprise very quickly turned to horrified comprehension. “You thought I was taking her away from you?” He nodded in response to her shocked question.

“Whatever you may have done to deserve it, Bryce, I won’t deny you your right to be a father to Kayla. Even though you once tossed away that privilege as cavalierly as you would a pair of old socks.” Another direct hit. “And don’t get me wrong here; I am not doing it for you! Kayla needs you in her life.” He nodded again, this time more confidently.

“So you want to finish your studies?” he prompted after clearing his throat awkwardly.

“I’ll have to find a decent place to live and a job to pay for—”

“That won’t be necessary,” he inserted hurriedly. “The job, I mean. I’ll pay for your studies.”

“The only money I’ll ever want from you will go toward the upbringing of your daughter, Bryce. I can take care of myself!”

“This from the woman who was practically on her last legs when we found her? You will not run yourself into the ground again. I can, and will, take care of you.”

“I am not your property; you have no right to speak to me as if I were,” she said, seething, and he swore in frustration.

“Okay, can we compromise on this?” he asked meekly after what looked like a colossal effort to rein in his temper. “I have a suggestion.” She waited silently for him to continue, her arms folded defiantly over her chest as she prepared for battle.

“You and Kayla stay here.” He lifted a silencing hand as she started to protest. “No, wait, just listen. You and Kayla stay here, and that way, she and I would be able to see each other all the time. You find that job to pay for your studies, and you’ll have built-in babysitters for Kayla in both Celeste and me. You won’t be run off your feet, studying, working a part-time job, and caring for a demanding toddler. You also won’t have to worry about rent and food.”

“What’s in this for you?” she asked suspiciously.

“Like I said, unrestricted access to my daughter,” was his simple response. “And enough time to get to know her better.”

“What about us? Our marriage?” She broached the subject warily, and he averted his eyes down to his clenched hands again.

“Well there
is
no more marriage, is there?” he droned tonelessly. “This house is big enough for us to live completely separate lives. We could work out some kind of schedule, times you may need certain areas of the house to yourself. Please don’t reject the idea out of hand just because it came from me. It makes sense and you won’t be killing yourself trying to make ends meet. I won’t interfere with your life at all.”

“What about your work?” she asked when his eyes were on her again.

“I work mostly from home these days.” He shrugged and she hesitated, her mind busily going over every angle of his plan. “I do plan to spend some more time in the office in the future, but we have an excellent in-house day-care facility, so she’ll never be too far from me.”

“This can’t be a permanent arrangement,” she said after a long pause, knowing that she was compromising way too much. Her instincts were screaming at her to move out, but she kept thinking of Kayla and how much she adored her father. “And if I’m staying here, I’ll want to pay rent,” she cautioned, and he dipped his head in acquiescence.

“I know it can’t be permanent, but it’ll give you time to arrange your future; it will give
me
time to get to know Kayla and vice versa. You can pay a reasonable amount for rent, and the amount will include food and utilities. But if you’re paying rent, you won’t be able to pay for your tuition and books, so I’d like to give you a student loan, low interest, which you can pay off in your own time,” he hurried on when it looked like she was about to protest. “It’s a better deal than you’d get from any bank, Bronwyn. No strings attached. Once you’ve finished your studies and are settled into your new career, you’ll be better equipped to move out, and Kayla will be old enough to understand.”

“Bryce, that will take years.” She was aghast at the thought of living in limbo for so long. But still, it was an awfully tempting suggestion, and Bronwyn knew she’d be a fool to turn it down when she had so few other options. But things were starting to get sticky again, too many ties and way too many complications. “We have to move on with our lives.”