A Husband For Mari (The Amish Matchmaker 2) (12 page)

“Did you have a good time this evening?” James asked, still working on the harness. “I didn’t get a chance to talk to you.”

“I did.” She tightened the wool scarf she wore around her neck. “Lovina says that she and my grandmother were second cousins. I never knew that much about my mother’s family because I was young when she died. But I do remember my grandmother Maryann telling me that she grew up on a farm in central Pennsylvania and that they’d been very poor.”

“And how do you feel about that?” he asked. “Being related to the Yoders?”

“I think it’s great. Wonderful. You probably don’t realize what it’s like because you have family all around you, but I really like the idea of belonging somewhere. Belonging
to
someone.”

“I know exactly what you’re saying. I was away for a long time, and there’s nothing like that feeling of coming home...of being among your own.”

“You do understand,” she said. She was so excited that she was at a loss for words. “I’ve always thought that Zachary and I were all alone in the world, and now... It’s a good feeling.”

He nodded.

She hesitated and then went on, “I talked a little bit with Rebecca tonight about church and...she suggested I talk with Bishop Atlee. And I was wondering...” She gazed out into the snowy barnyard. “I was wondering if you thought that would be a good idea.”

He turned around to face her. “Can I ask why you’d like to talk to him?”

She clasped her hands, looking into his dark eyes. “I...I feel like God is calling me back, but I... I don’t know, James.” She suddenly felt herself tearing up. “But I want to be sure I’m truly being called. I don’t want to become a part of the church just so I can be a part of all this.” She waved in the direction of the Mast house, where light danced from the windows and the sound of laughter drifted through an open door.

They were both quiet for a second. She couldn’t read his face.

Finally James spoke. “I think that talking to Bishop Atlee might be a very good idea. He can help you work your way through things. Pray with you. When I first came back, he was a lot of help. He has a good perspective. We did a lot of praying together.”

Mari felt as though she couldn’t breathe. She and James weren’t touching, but the way he was looking at her made her feel as if he had wrapped his arms around her. His name rested on her lips, but she didn’t say it.

“We should go,” he said.

She nodded, turning to face the buggy, her emotions all a jumble. The decision had been made. She was going to talk to the bishop. But the decision to do it felt good. It felt right.

“I’d be happy to make the arrangements with the bishop for you,” James offered. “He could come to Sara’s, and you could talk in private in her office.”

Mari reached up to grab the handhold on the buggy to step up, and he surprised her by coming up behind her, putting his hands around her waist and lifting her up. As she dropped onto her seat, her hand caught his. It was completely by accident, but then he squeezed it before letting go.

The intimacy of the gesture made her light-headed. She found herself surprised again by her own reaction. It had been a long time since she’d felt this way when a man touched her, almost too long to remember.

Flustered, she sat there in the moonlight, looking down at his kind, gentle face.

At that moment she felt as if he was going to say something, but then he turned and walked around the buggy to get in on his side.

It was still very cold as Jericho trotted down the driveway, but Mari didn’t feel the chill because the memory of James’s touch warmed her and filled her with a bubbly happiness.

Chapter Eleven

“M
ari, could you give me a hand?” Sara asked. They had finished the last of the supper dishes and Ellie and Zachary were bent over a math problem at the kitchen table. “I want to take these extra jars of pickled green tomatoes down to the cellar and bring up applesauce and green beans for tomorrow.”

“Sure. I’d be glad to help.” Mari hung the dish towel over the handle of the woodstove and went to the counter to pick up a box of canned goods. “I know you didn’t can tomatoes yesterday.”

Sara shook her head. “No. Gideon brought them by. Careful with the steps. They’re steep.” She opened the door that led down to the cellar from the utility area off the kitchen.

The cellar was cool and dry with rows of metal shelving along two walls. Canned vegetables and fruits were neatly arranged in allotted sections, and there were wooden bins for potatoes, sweet potatoes, cabbages and turnips. “You could feed an army with all this food,” Mari remarked.

“I hope not an army. But I could host more than a few community doings.” When they placed the jars in their proper places and found the green beans and applesauce for the next day, Sara motioned to the long table in the center of the room. Benches ran on either side. “I was looking for an opportunity to talk with you alone,” she explained. “I could ask you to my office, but that might have Ellie or Zachary wondering what business we’re up to.”

Curious, Mari took a seat.

Sara patted her hand reassuringly. “What I wanted to discuss with you isn’t a complaint, so don’t look so worried. It’s an opportunity. But I’d like to ask something personal of you first.”

Mari looked at her expectantly. “Of course.” She smiled. “We’re family, remember?”

Sara smiled back. “Your meetings with the bishop? Have they gone well?”

Mari folded her hands and placed them on the table. She was so glad that Rebecca had suggested she talk to Bishop Atlee and that James had been willing to make the arrangements for her. She didn’t know if she would have been brave enough to do it on her own. As promised, Bishop Atlee had been wonderful at helping her work through not only her past feelings about church but her expectations for the future. She met Sara’s gaze across the table. “They’ve gone very well.”

“I suspected so. You’ve seemed so happy lately.” Sara’s dark eyes caught the light from the overhead fixture and shone with compassion. “I don’t mean to pry. But whether or not you decide to return to the faith has great bearing on the proposition I have to present to you.”

Mari stared at Sara across the table. “I don’t understand.”

“Someone, I’m not at liberty to say who, has come to me to request that I arrange a match for you with a man here in Seven Poplars.”

“A match for me?” She knew her eyes must have grown as wide as saucers. “With an Amish man?”

“Of course. It’s the only sort of marriage proposals I arrange.”

“But...how could you... How could I...” She let out a breath that she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “I’m not Amish.”

“Exactly. As I said, my proposal is contingent on your deciding to attend classes with the bishop with the intention of baptism into the Amish faith.” Sara placed both elbows on the table and linked the fingers of both hands. “If you haven’t considered returning to the church, then what I’m proposing is impossible. And my intention isn’t to influence you. Marriage shouldn’t be a reason for accepting our faith. It must be a call from God, and it must be deep and sincere.”

A shiver went through Mari, and she wrapped her arms around herself. “I can’t tell you if I’m going to join the church because I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“But you have considered it?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “Yes, of course, I’ve thought of it. I’ve thought of it almost every day of my life since I left my uncle’s home. More so since I’ve become a part of this community. But I’m not sure. I could never...would never ask for baptism under false pretenses. If I do become Amish again, it will be with all my heart. It won’t be to get a husband.”

“Good.” Sara smiled, and her shoulders relaxed their stiffness. “That’s what I wanted to hear you say.”

Mari narrowed her gaze. “Who came to you about finding me a husband?”

“As I said, I can’t tell you that.”

Mari thought for a second, fighting a sense of panic. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She couldn’t imagine who would think she needed an Amish husband. “Who does this secret someone think I should marry?”

“Why, James, of course.”

“James wants to marry me?” she asked when she recovered her power of speech. “
He’s
the one who proposed this match?”

“That’s not what I said. The person who came to me feels that the two of you would make a good couple, that you would be right for each other and would make each other happy.” Sara’s gaze sharpened. “Am I not wrong in thinking that you aren’t opposed to such a union?”

First Mari was dizzy, and then she felt slightly nauseated. What a ridiculous thing for her to say. Now she’d embarrassed herself in front of Sara. Of course James hadn’t come asking for her hand in marriage. “James doesn’t think of me that way,” Mari managed. “He...he considers me a friend.” She dared a peek at Sara’s face. “James doesn’t know about this, does he?”

“I haven’t approached James. That’s not the way it works. I always go to the woman first. But I wouldn’t have come to you at all if I didn’t think this was a possibility.” Sara’s tone grew tender. “Remember, dear, I’ve been doing this a long time.”

“But marriage with James?” Mari felt dizzy with the thought of it. “I...I don’t know what to say. We’re friends, yes, but I...” She stared at the tabletop, her eyes wide. “I never thought that it was more than that with him.”

“That’s for James to say. Many a solid marriage has started with friendship. And respect. You do respect him, don’t you?”

Mari lifted her gaze to meet Sara’s. “Immensely. He’s a wonderful person. He’d make a wonderful stepfather to Zachary, but...” She shook her head. “This is too much to take in. I haven’t known him that long. And I don’t know if I can...if I will join the church. It’s a decision that doesn’t affect just me—it’s my son’s life, too. It’s such a big step, to leave the world and become Amish.”

“Not so great a gap to bridge if it’s God’s plan for you. Ours isn’t a life of sacrifice, so much as one of joy. I believe you can find happiness in the church...in our community. And I think it would give Zachary the sense of belonging that he’s lacked.”

Mari’s thoughts were flying in a hundred directions at once. Marriage to James. It seemed too good to be true. This wasn’t a decision that could be rushed. She’d learned that with Zachary’s father. “I can’t agree to marry a man so quickly...not even a man like James.”

“Are you refusing to consider the match?” Sara asked, seemingly choosing her words precisely.

Mari shook her head. “I’m saying that I need more time.” She hesitated. “How does this work? If I
was
interested, does that mean I’m committing to marry him?”

“Not at all. If you are open to a match with the designated person, then I go to him. If both agree, then you start walking out together. Just as you would if a matchmaker weren’t involved. Neither of you would make any commitment until you were certain.”

Suddenly, Mari’s life seemed full of possibilities. But could she trust her feelings? “How...how much time is to be allotted for this courtship?”

“There’s no time limit. I had one couple that took two years to decide.”

“And did they marry?” Mari asked.

“No, they decided against it. Each later married other people, and both the man and woman are content.” She smiled. “I made the new matches. I doubted that the first would work out from the beginning, but the girl’s parents insisted that he was the one. Time and common sense proved them wrong. And we were all happy with the outcome. Marriage is a sacred bond. You must be sure.”

“It’s why I want to wait.” Mari rose slowly, barely aware of the words she was speaking. Someone actually thought she and James would be well suited to marry. She couldn’t help but be thrilled by the idea. Even if it wasn’t possible, it did her heart good to know that she hadn’t imagined how well she and James got along. “To have time to know my own mind.”

“Then that’s what I’ll tell the person who approached me about matching you and James. We’ll table this whole thing at the moment.”

“And you won’t say anything to James?” Mari asked.

“Of course not.” Sara smiled. “But you will consider the offer, won’t you?”

“I will,” Mari promised.

* * *

Mari stepped off the blacktop into the grass as a pickup truck whooshed past. The driver honked the horn, but it didn’t faze her. She was in too good a mood to let anyone annoy her. In her denim coat and wool scarf, she was warm, and after the week of working at the butcher shop, walking to and from Bishop Atlee’s house was a pleasant change of pace. It felt good to be outside in the brisk air, getting exercise and having some time alone to think.

She’d had a good afternoon with Bishop Atlee. His gentle wisdom and absolute faith in the goodness and mercy of God did much to ease her mind. Every Saturday afternoon and Tuesday night, he’d reserved an hour for her, and with each visit, she’d become more certain that this might be the right path for her and Zachary.

Mari’s church attendance and visits with the bishop gave her an inner calm and a joy in everyday life that she hadn’t had in a long time. It should have been enough for anyone, but strangely it wasn’t. Because while every aspect of Mari’s life seemed to be falling into place, there was one piece of the puzzle she just couldn’t figure out. And that was James. Sara had been true to her word and not mentioned the proposal again, but that didn’t mean Mari didn’t think about it. She knew she had done the right thing in telling Sara she wasn’t ready to think about marriage, to anyone, but a part of her wished she was. A part of her wanted to marry James and have his babies.

Wanting James as a husband went against years of conviction that she didn’t need a man. She had Zachary, and she was able to work and provide for herself and her son. She’d given her heart to Zachary’s father, and he had broken it. The pain had been devastating. Why would she want to risk everything again? She’d had her chance and failed miserably because she’d been a terrible judge of character. Ivan had been weak. He’d thought more of himself than the child they’d brought into the world. Ivan had been unwilling to make the sacrifices necessary to make a marriage that would protect and nurture Zachary.

It was a good argument against mooning over James like some love-struck teenager, but it fell flat. James was a strong and good man. He’d proved his worth many times over. And she loved him. She was
in
love
with him.

But what if James didn’t feel the same way about her?

Mari sighed and loosened her scarf. She was spending too much time dwelling on James. She had other things to think about, like where she and Zachary were going to live. Even if she did join the church, she couldn’t board permanently with Sara, could she?

She wanted to remain within walking distance of her friends and her newfound family and the bishop’s house. If she officially began lessons with him to prepare to be baptized, they would run a full year before she could be considered for church membership. And it had to be a place that was affordable on her salary. Apparently, someone in the next church district over had an empty
dawdi
house on their property they might be willing to rent. It wouldn’t be too long a walk, but—

Her thoughts strayed to James again. In her mind’s eye, she pictured his sweet smile and heard the sound of his voice when he laughed or said her name. When she closed her eyes, she could almost smell the scents of fresh-cut lumber and oiled leather that lingered in the air around him. She could see the way his lean hands looked when he clasped Jericho’s reins or held a hammer.

Unconsciously, Mari picked up her pace. Sara’s addition was done, and James’s crew had started to work on a new job. But James still made a practice of stopping by sometimes to have coffee with Sara and the family before work or coming by to finish up a few odds and ends at Sara’s. The previous Saturday, after her meeting at Bishop Atlee’s, she’d seen James’s buggy in Sara’s yard, and she couldn’t help hoping he might have come again today.

As much as she loved being with Zachary and with Sara and Ellie, Mari always had things she wanted to tell James. She’d share her experiences at the butcher shop with him, and he would tell her community news or funny things that had occurred with his nephews. It was James she could talk to about how to deal with a difficult customer, and it was James who gave her good advice on dealing with Zachary when he got into mischief.

She turned into the driveway and walked a little faster. James wouldn’t be there, she knew he wouldn’t, but she couldn’t help hoping—

“Mari!”

She gave a small gasp of delight as she heard James’s voice as she came into full view of the house. “James!” she called back, spotting him on the porch.

He walked toward her.

“I was hoping you’d be here,” she called.

“You’re later today than last week.” He stopped and smiled at her as she approached. “How did it go?”

“Hey, Mom!”

Mari glanced toward the barn and saw Zachary. He and J.J. were standing in the open door of the hayloft.

Zachary waved. “I’m showing J.J. the new kittens. Lois said I could. She’s in the house.” He pointed. “Sara said Lois could keep an eye on me and J.J. while she was gone. She said I didn’t have to go with her.”

Lois was a new girl staying with Sara now; Mari liked her very much and trusted her completely. Mari waved to J.J. Then she said to both boys, “Just don’t frighten the mama cat or she’ll move them again.”

“We won’t!” Zachary shouted.

Mari met James’s amused gaze. “See, I’m trying,” she said quietly so the boys didn’t hear her. “I didn’t warn him to be careful even though I wanted to. I just keep seeing him tumbling out of the loft and me rushing him to the emergency room.”