A Human Element (29 page)

Sabrina's shirt.

Slashed with red.

A memento from Dr. Bjord.

He staggered out of bed and smashed the camera that mocked him. He would pay for that later.

He fell on his knees and caressed her blouse then picked it up gently so as not to add to its wounds. He breathed deep of this garment that had clung to her as she had to him. Her sweetness filled him—and then loss replaced it. She had called him an angel, but she was now the angel. His tears wet her shroud. It was all he could give her now. He willed Sabrina's musk—
their
musk—into his mind forever. He wasn't a monster then. He hadn't killed her. Dr. Bjord had.

X-10 hugged his first love to his chest and drifted back into his dreams where Sabrina could live again…and call him Charlie.

"Charlie?" Soft hands shook him.

And now another human was calling him by name, offering him love.

But he wasn't worthy. He never had been.

The muffled voices grew louder from behind the wall. Shots were fired. The men tried to blast through. Laura didn't cry out to them. She held his hand and looked into his eyes with her shiny, brown ones.

"If you're going to kill me, do it fast," she said quietly. "If you're not, let's leave this place. I know there is another way out of here, I felt a draft."

"And you would go with a monster? Do you know what I've done? What I would do again if given the chance—to you? What I enjoy doing? I can't stop. It's what I am." His nostrils flared. He showed her flashes in his mind of gruesome images. And no remorse. She squeezed his hand.

"Yes, I've seen what you've done. But you
can
stop yourself. Overcome and change. Put it in your past. Start over. You can. We both can, Charlie. We have the same destiny. We both have a human element. We have something redeemable in us. No matter what we've done. And you're my brother. We can be a family, together."

Earth and rock passed through the wall and fell at their feet. The men came through. And yet, still, Laura touched him
. No!
He didn't want to feel these strange feelings. He couldn't bear them. More gunshots blasted through the wall and her lover rushed through the hole. He grabbed Laura and pointed his gun at X-10. The old man and another enormous man he had never seen before stepped through as well. Their guns were aimed low at X-10, as he sat, sprawled on the floor.

"What's wrong with him?" The old man jerked his gun at X-10.

"He couldn't move after you shot him. I healed him," Laura said.

"You what?" Her lover's mouth hung open.

"Then why is the ugly bastard still sitting there?" The old man pointed his gun at X-10, his finger at the trigger. Rage surged through X-10, disgusted at his wave of emotions filling him up. He could never be anything other than what he was. He didn't want Laura to change him. He hated her. Didn't he? He didn't
want
to be anything other than what he was.

He staggered up. The enormous man shot at him. Once. Twice. X-10 stumbled then grabbed the man's gun away and pointed it at Laura's lover. The enormous man lunged in front of her lover just as X-10 fired. Bullets struck the large man mid-chest. He crashed on the ground.

"No!" Laura fell to the man's side. A gaping hole smoked through his black jacket. His eyes were closed. The man didn't move. Laura sobbed as both her lover and the old man shot at X-10 over and over. He lurched from side to side with each hit and then swung wide, cracking the old man on the head with the gun he still held. The old man crumpled to the floor.

"No, Charlie! Why?" Laura pleaded. "Kill me. It's what you've wanted. Leave the others alone." She rushed to the old man, who moaned but was still alive.

Laura's lover raised his gun to X-10's head. "Goodbye, you mother fucker." X-10 just grinned at him. Her lover pushed down on the trigger, but X-10 sent spirals of intense pain into his brain. Her lover dropped the gun and fell to the floor clutching his head.

Laura rushed at X-10. She beat her fists on his chest. "Why?"

He pushed her away and swayed sideways, then fell on the ground facing her. Curls of gun smoke filled the cave and weaved around Laura's head. She knelt by X-10's side. He felt blood run down his back and chest. It hurt to breathe.

"Stop it, please, Charlie! Let them live. It's me you've always wanted. Kill me, let them live. Please." She took his hands and clutched them to her chest. She moved into him. Sunflowers wafted over him.

"Don't you see, Laura? If I become like you, then how can I live with all the things I've done?" It felt strange to say her name out loud to her. It felt good.

Laura kissed his face, stroked his cheeks. "Hate and love come from the same place. You can change that now, Charlie. Let me heal you."

He snatched his hands away from her, staring at them. "No! Look at me. I'm a freak." He touched her face, then his own. "I don't need love. Stop making me feel this way! I don't want to feel this way." He shoved Laura away from him, slamming her into the wall. "I wanted to hurt you, kill you. But now I'm confused! Let me be!" He held his head.

"I thought I was a freak too. But we have each other now." Laura pulled herself up from the floor, slow. He felt her pain too. She pulled a photo out of her coat pocket. She held it up to his face. "Our mother. She carried both of us. Look."

He touched the edge of the photo then looked at Laura. "You're normal. Human, like her. I'm a monster. That's what I am."

"Human too."

"No. I am nothing."

"We all have something redeemable in us, no matter how small."

"Nothing," he repeated in a stone voice.

"Something."

"Nothing."

X-10 placed his hands on his head, and howled a long cry of pain. It echoed around the dark pit in a piercing wail, growing louder in its lament.

And then he made his last kill.

Laura put her hands over her ears to shut out her brother's screams. It hurt to hear his pain vibrating inside her. The ground shook. Mud and rock rained down on her. She covered her head. The cave roared with his fury, moving in a mad dance as it trembled. Then he closed his eyes. His massive body sunk into the floor, his hands drifted down. His immense mouth hung open, slack-jawed. The throbbing veins in his forehead slowed and were still.

"Charlie."

She looked around her, stunned. Felix lay dead. Mr. B sprawled motionless. And Ben. He moaned and was so still. Sobbing, she crawled to Mr. B. He was breathing, but unconscious. She kissed his cheeks. She willed herself to heal him but he didn't open his eyes. Perhaps he was injured too deep. Or perhaps his fate was to die now, as he was supposed to die years ago in the orchard or by pneumonia. Laura cried harder. She didn't want fate to win. Not this time. Then she dragged herself to Ben and smoothed back his bangs. Please don't be dead, Ben. All this death because of her.

"Ben." Laura wanted so much to see his gray eyes looking at her. "Open your eyes." She pressed her face on his chest, listening for life, inhaling his smell. "I love you."

His heart beat but he didn't move. Her tears wet his jacket. She sat up and placed her hands on his head. She closed her eyes, blocking out the carnage around her and focused on this man she loved. She imagined pulling the daggers of pain from his head and filling him with strong threads of connective tissue. Strength flowed from her fingertips into his brain, healing it with pulsing life. She hoped.

"Please don't die. Never surrender, remember?" She sang to him, her voice cracking on the notes. "And when the night is cold and dark, you can see, you can see light. Cause no-one can take away your right to fight—"

"—and never surrender," Ben whispered back.

Laura opened her eyes to find his gray ones burning into hers. She let out a cry of relief and kissed him with trembling lips.

"What just happened?" He peered around as he sat up slow.

"My brother killed himself."

"Are you sure he's dead?"

Laura pulled Ben up and they stood over her twin, his freakish form hunched over on the floor. Ben prodded him with his foot.

"The final one he sought out was himself," Laura said. "Love couldn't set him free, only hate. But at least he's at peace."

"Then it's over." Ben grabbed Laura, and held her close. She felt relief wash over him like an elixir. "And you're okay?"

She nodded. "But Mr. B, we need to get him to a hospital. He's breathing okay, but that hit to the head knocked him out. I tried, but I couldn't heal him."

Ben moved to Jim and knelt down, listening to his breathing. "And Felix?"

Laura just shook her head, biting her lip. She moved toward Felix's body. She bent down to touch his face. She wished she could see his green eyes glowing bright one last time. His belt glinted in the low light. She pulled it off, clutching it in her hands. It was made of heavy metal and vibrated in her hands. She believed she may need it someday, as Felix had once believed a long time ago.

"You saved us. You did. Was it the desired outcome you wanted?" She spoke to his still face.

"Twice," Ben said. "He saved me twice."

"He must have seen his own end, don't you think?"

"And you saved me too, didn't you?"

Laura looked up at him. "I had to try."

Ben nodded and put his arms under Jim's body. "Come on now, we've got to carry him out of here."

"What about Felix and Charlie?"

"Let them rest here in peace. Neither one had any peace their whole lives. Now they can."

Ben stumbled up with Jim in his arms. "Laura, come on. We've got to get out of here."

She nodded, looking at Charlie and Felix one last time then passed through the hole in the wall back into the other side of the cavern. Ben moved sideways through the jagged opening with Jim. As they stepped out onto the flat earth floor, Laura felt a shudder. She stopped.

"What was that?"

"I don't know? A shift in the ground perhaps. We need to get up top where it's safe."

The ground became still again. They took off through the enormous cavern, seeking the tunnel back to safety.

"Put me down," Jim said clearly. Ben almost dropped him.

Laura skidded to a stop on the muddy floor. "Mr. B, you're all right."

He coughed hard, clutching his head. "Not sure about that, but put me down, young man."

"Mr. Barrens, we have to get out of here, now."

"And you need to put me down
now
!"

Ben lowered Jim to the floor. He lay on his back, his breathing labored. "I can't see. Where are we?"

Laura knelt in the mud beside him and took his hand. "We're in the cavern, Mr. B. My brother is dead. It's over."

"Felix?"

"He's dead too."

"Ahh. He was a good man. I'm sorry to hear that. He loved you, Laura."

"I know. He saved all of our lives. But now we need to get you to a hospital."

"No. I am staying here on my mountain." He wheezed. "Are you making the room spin, my dear?"

"No, Mr. B. You had a hard blow to the head. Come on now."

"No, I said, you saucy young maid." His voice faded off. "No."

"Don't be difficult, please, you old curmudgeon." Laura began to cry. Jim put his hand up and sought her face. She leaned into him. He touched her cheek, his fingers frail and gnarled.

"I told you a long time ago I'm a solitudinarian, my girl. And it's time I went my own way, alone."

"No, remember I made you a convivialtarian? A chooser of people not aloneness. Choose me. Don't go, please. Stay here with me. Hang on, Mr. B." She gripped his hand harder, willing his spirit to stay strong, wishing hard for life to run through his old veins. But maybe he
was
meant to die. She had saved him twice and now fate was stepping in to re-align its course.

"I've got to go home now. To see my Susan and Scooter. You stay with Ben."

"No, Mr. B, no! We have lots of time left." Laura snatched his other hand to pull him up. "Ben, help me." But Jim's head sank into his side. His hand fell from her face.

Ben felt his pulse and listened for a heartbeat. "Laura, he's gone."

"No!" She rocked with her head in her knees.

The earth quaked beneath their feet, knocking Ben back. A loud rumbling rose over them. Chunks of dirt splashed down around them.

"It's going to bury us!" Ben pulled at Laura. "We've got to run!"

But Laura refused get up. She continued to cry, rocking in grief.

Debris rained down on them. The rumbling grew louder. Ben picked Laura up and ran for the tunnel. He could just make out the black hole ahead of him across the cavernous expanse. She beat on his chest and shoulders.

"You can't leave him here, go back!"

Ben couldn't answer. He just wanted to get out without killing them both. He concentrated on running up the tunnel as earth and rock smashed onto them. He banged into the walls several times, off-balance in the total black. Laura stopped hitting him but continued to sob into his chest. Up. Up. It took forever to reach the surface.

A large chunk of earth fell hard on him. He went down, slamming Laura into the ground under him. He pulled her closer to his chest and stumbled up, tripping over rocks. His chest hurt, each breath like tiny knives cutting into his lungs. Finally, light filled the dark space. He raced out of the tunnel entrance, just as it collapsed behind him.

A giant roar of noise and dust filled the air. The crater sank deeper into the ground, as the cavern below it was crushed flat with all those in it. He looked up at the moon growing high overhead and smelled smoke. The cabin fire had continued to spread through the woods. It raged in fury devouring the dry timber in a crackling buffet. Would any help come to stop it out here in the middle of nowhere?

Ben staggered along the lakeshore trail. Laura now hung limp in his arms. He reached Felix's car and put her in the passenger seat, relieved to find the keys in the ignition.

Laura looked up at him still clutching Felix's belt. "I first came here with Mr. B and saw my alien father, Feo. I didn't know at the time who or what he was."

"Now you do. But it still doesn't change who you are, Laura."

"It does," she whispered. "I told you before. It changes everything."

Ben nodded. He understood that now.

"And now they're all dead. Everyone's dead. And for what?
For what
?"

He kissed her forehead, not knowing what to say. He ran around to the driver side. The fiery forest exploded across the lake. Its light flickered and soared across the water, dancing on the waves rocking serenely to shore.

He stood mesmerized for a moment, taken back in time. He saw another night here where fire plumes raged across the lake shore. He heard the sound of sirens from far away. Fire trucks would be here soon, like they had that night twenty-seven years ago when he was only nine. He forced himself to look away and jammed the car into reverse, kicking up rocks as he sped out of the grassy lot.

He didn't look back.

Ben gunned the sedan hard, and shot off down the rough road leading away from the lake. As he reached town a fire truck screamed past them on the way to the fire. He parked the car in town on a side street, leaving the keys tucked under the visor. Then he gathered his few belongings at the Inn and drove west with Laura in his own rental car. He was relieved no one passed them in town before they left. Not even the innkeeper, Mrs. March, was around. Laura followed him as he moved along but said nothing. Her eyes looked empty as if they saw another scene before her.

Before leaving, he wiped down all parts of Felix's car they had touched in case there was an investigation. He doubted Felix left a trail. But there would be no evidence of what happened to Jim. His cabin was burnt down and both his and Laura's cars had exploded into pieces. And Jim, he was at rest under the earth. No one would ever know what happened to him. As they pulled out of town, more fire engines screamed past them on the way up to the lake. The streets were dark and empty in the little hamlet. No one else passed them.

Ben drove for hours in silence. He hit the highway and headed out toward Binghamton. Somewhere different. Anywhere there weren't memories for either of them. Laura hunched over in the corner, and didn't speak. He stroked her hair as he drove. He didn't know how to bring her back to him. He sensed she was already gone. He turned the radio on once but the noise hurt his head, so he turned it off. Laura didn't comment at all, she continued to stare out the window at the darkness that flew by. He talked to her as he drove, but she didn't respond.

"We can go anywhere, Laura. I have enough money set aside we can live on for a while. We can go west to Bremerton, in Washington. You can meet my friend, Andy. How about that? You'll love his wife, Likini. She's a great lady. We can start over. Make a new life. Can't we?" Still, she didn't answer him. He sighed, and drove on into the night.

He stopped at a super-size all-night store just off the highway near Binghamton. He guided Laura into the store with him, hoping no one would notice how filthy they were. But the store was almost empty. No one gave them a second glance. He bought sandwiches, water, toiletries, bandages, ointment, and extra clothes for both of them. Laura touched none of the food, but he wolfed down a sandwich as he drove. He found a small motel and pulled in. They were still covered in mud, but the teenage night clerk didn't even look at them as they registered and paid.

Ben led Laura into the room and turned her to face him, holding her by the shoulders. She still clutched Felix's belt. Ben placed it on the dresser and looked into her eyes.

"Laura?" She looked right through him. It haunted him, as if she were broken forever. He would take care of her. She had to come out of this catatonic state.

He stripped off both their filthy clothes and took her to the shower with him. He washed her as he did the other night. This time she stood before him, conscious but in a daze. Mud flowed around them as the soap washed it away. He wished it was as easy to wash away the night's events. His body felt sore, bruised, and cut.

He tried to be gentle in washing Laura's cuts. He hoped she didn't feel any pain. She was traumatized, but he didn't know how to help her. Afterwards, he cleaned both their wounds and put bandages on them. Then he dressed her and himself in clean clothes and stretched out on the bed with her. She remained far away in her mind.

"Laura, come back to me, please." He held her to him.

Tears slid down her face, but she still wouldn't speak. She stared at the ceiling. Something must have just snapped inside her, after all she had been through her entire life. This was too much. Perhaps losing Jim had been the final piece of her life destroyed she couldn't live with. Jim had been the last link in her life between her past as a child and future as a woman. So Ben held her and murmured words of reassurance to her. He loved her. They could make a life together. It was over. But it didn't matter in the end, after all. When he woke up she was gone.