A Home for Lily (18 page)

He turned to Logan.  “She’s not yours.  You
do understand that you don’t you?  My grandchild is not
your
child and
you have no right to keep us from seeing her.  You’re not even –

“Charles!”  Lily snapped at him.  “Enough! 
You can’t – “

“Get out of my house.”  Logan said calmly.

Lily glanced at him.  He was still angry,
she could almost see it radiating from him, but he was holding Rachel gently
and staring fixedly at Charles.

“I will do no such thing!”  Charles
protested.  “I have every right to see my grandchild and – “

“Get out of my house.”  Logan said slowly
and deliberately.  “I won’t ask you again.”

“Let’s go, Charles.”  Regina said sharply. 
She gathered her coat and gave Lily an anxious look.  “Call us later.  Please,
Lily.”

She pulled her husband out of the living
room, he was giving Logan a dark look of anger, and Lily followed them to the
front door.

“Lily, will you be okay?”  Regina asked
hesitantly.

“Yes.  Logan is a good man, and he would
never hurt Rachel or me.  I’ll call you later.”  Lily replied firmly as she
opened the front door.

When they had left, she took a deep breath
and shut the door before returning to the living room.  Logan was standing at
the window, still holding Rachel, and he gave her another look of hurt.

“You lied to me, Lily.”

“I didn’t.”  She said calmly.

“You didn’t tell me that you were letting
them see Rachel.  That – that you were letting them come to my house.”

“I’m sorry that I invited them to your
house.  I knew you didn’t want them here and it was wrong of me to go behind
your back like that.  I should have taken Rachel to their home.”  She replied
quietly.

He gave her an angry look.  “They don’t
deserve to see her.  Why can’t you understand that?  They would take her from
us in a heartbeat if they had the chance.”

“They wouldn’t.”  She shook her head. 
“They just want to be a part of her life, Logan.  And they deserve the chance
to fix what they did.”

He snorted loudly.  “No, they don’t.  Their
son was terrible to you and they were just as terrible.  They kicked you out of
your own home, for God’s sake!  You would have been homeless if it hadn’t been
for me.  Have you forgotten that?”

“No.”  She said evenly.  “I haven’t
forgotten and you know how grateful I am to you.  But they really are trying. 
They’ve offered to sign over the house to me.  They said – “

“At what price?”  He interrupted.  “They’re
suddenly so willing to give you what was rightfully yours all along because
why?”

“Because they know what Barry did was
wrong.  Because they – “

“Because they want Rachel and you under
their thumbs!”  He suddenly shouted.  Rachel, who had been starting to fall
asleep against his chest, gave a startled cry.

He took a deep breath and rubbed her back
soothingly, as he swayed back and forth.  “They’re trying to control you,
Lily.  Just like Barry did.”  He said quietly.

“No, they’re not.”  She tried to keep her
temper in check.  “Logan, you have to trust that I have Rachel’s best interests
at heart.  I’m not – “

“I don’t want them seeing her.  I don’t
trust them and sooner or later they’re going to prove me right.  You’re too
naïve to see that, Lily.  You’re too – too trusting and sweet to understand
what people like them are really like.”  He interrupted again.

“I’m not stupid, Logan.”  She said
tightly.  She was starting to get angry and she tried to swallow it down, to
keep her cool, as Logan glared at her.

“I never said you were.  What I said was
that you’re too naïve.  These people will eat you alive and take Rachel the
first chance they get!”

“Stop it!”  She said furiously.  “I
understand that you care about Rachel and want what’s best for her, but I’m her
mother.  I make the decisions about what’s best for her.”

“They’re not going near our baby!”  He
shouted again.  “That’s final, Lily!”

Rachel began to cry loudly and Lily stalked
to Logan and held her hands out.  “She’s not our baby, Logan.  She’s my baby. 
Give her to me.”

He closed his eyes and then kissed Rachel’s
face before handing her to Lily.  She soothed the baby quickly, rubbing her
back and patting her bottom as the baby rested her head on her chest.

“As long as you and Rachel are living here,
those people are not to see her.  Do you understand, Lily?”  He said angrily.

She gave him a look of astonishment.  “I am
not your – your child, Logan.  You don’t get to just tell me what I can and
can’t do.  You’re my employer, nothing else, and I make the decisions
concerning my child.  Do you understand
that
?”

“I’m more than your employer and you know
it!”  He snapped.  “And after everything I’ve done for you, I think I have the
right to voice my opinion on who gets to see Rachel.  You owe me that.”

She froze and gave him a look of such shock
and hurt that his anger faded.  He reached out for her, his blood growing cold,
when she backed away. 

“I’m sorry, Lily.”  He said hoarsely.  “I
didn’t mean that.  I just – I care about you and Rachel and I don’t want – “

“This isn’t working, Logan.”  She said in a
toneless little voice.  “I think it would be better for both of us if I quit
and move out.  I won’t live with someone who thinks they can tell me what to do,
or believes that their kindness to me means I owe them a debt.  I spent too
many years living under Barry’s rules and believing that I couldn’t stand on my
own two feet.  I won’t do it again.”

He swallowed thickly.  “That isn’t what I’m
doing.”

“It is.”  She said calmly.  “You know it
is.  Thank you for everything you’ve done but Rachel and I are leaving in the
morning.”

“Hazel.”  He said desperately.  “You’ll
break her heart if you leave, Lily.”

She pressed her lips together as tears
started to flow down her cheeks.  “Don’t, Logan.  Don’t you dare use Hazel as
some kind of bargaining chip.  You’ll be no better than Charles and Regina, if
you do.”

“Lily, I – “

She shook her head.  “No, we’re done.  I’ll
pack tonight and talk with Hazel in the morning.”

She turned and left the room, leaving Logan
to stare miserably after her.

“You look like shit, man.”  Rob said
gravely.

“Yeah, thanks.”  Logan scrubbed his hand
across his beard and gave Rob a dirty look.

Rob shrugged and dropped down on the couch
beside him.  “Have you got any sleep since Lily left?”

“A bit.”  Logan muttered.

“It’s been two weeks, dude.  If you don’t
start getting it together, Bill’s going to make you take a leave of absence.”

Rob glanced across the common room at Bill
who was sitting at the table and reading the paper.  “You need to go to Lily
and beg for her forgiveness.”

Logan shook his head.  “It’s too late.  I
was an asshole and acted like her goddamn dead husband.  She’ll never forgive
me for that.”

“You might be surprised.”  Rob said
gently.  “I’m sure she’s miserable without you.”

Logan snorted.  “Yes, I’m sure it’s
terrible for her to be living in that giant mansion, with Charles and Regina to
take care of her every need.”

Rob punched him hard on the shoulder. 
“You’re being an asshole again.  Lily’s been talking to Janet and they’ve been
really good to her.  I don’t know the entire story about why you hate them so
much, but Janet was visiting Lily when they stopped by and she said they seemed
pretty nice.  They obviously care about Rachel and they seem to be respectful
of Lily.”

Logan glared at him and then sighed
loudly.  “Fuck.  I know.  I overreacted but I was worried they would try and
take Rachel from us.”

Rob glanced at his watch.  “Your shift is
over.  Janet said to tell you that she’ll watch Hazel overnight if you want to,
you know, go to Lily and beg for forgiveness.”

“I really appreciate Janet looking after
Hazel for me.  She knows that right?”  Logan said.

“She does.”  Rob confirmed.  “Any lucky in
finding a new nanny yet?”

“No.”  Logan couldn’t tell him that he
hadn’t even started looking for one.  He couldn’t bring himself to look for a
woman to replace Lily.  She had been perfect and he had let her slip away
because of his own stupidity.

He rubbed his face again.  “Did Hazel have
a good day?”

“She did.”  Rob answered.  “She’s been a
perfect angel for Janet.”

Logan shook his head in confusion.  “I
don’t understand it.  Hazel – well – she flipped out when Lily left.”

He shuddered, remembering the look on
Lily’s face when Hazel had screamed and cried and threw a tantrum.  She had
thrown herself at Lily, pounding at her with her tiny fists as Lily tried
vainly to soothe her.

“You promised you’d never leave me!”  She
had screamed repeatedly.  Logan had finally pulled Hazel away from Lily,
holding on to his little girl grimly as she flailed and screamed herself
hoarse.

Lily, sobbing heartbreakingly and clutching
Rachel’s car seat in a death grip, had fled the house to the waiting cab. 
Later that afternoon, after Hazel had cried herself to sleep, a man in a silver
car had pulled into his driveway.  He had identified himself as an employee of
Charles and Regina, and Logan had watched numbly as the man took the large,
packed suitcase from Lily’s room and left.

She had left nearly all of Hazel’s borrowed
baby things behind.  He had walked into the empty, silent nursery and sat
heavily in the rocking chair.  Two hours later, Hazel had crept into the room
and crawled into his lap.  He rocked her like he had when she was a baby and
said soft, meaningless words of comfort as she sobbed quietly.

He had done his best over the next couple
of days to act cheerful around Hazel and to make her happy but the little girl
had been sullen and withdrawn.  He was nearly paralyzed with worry when he
dropped her off with Janet on his first day back at work.  She had hugged the crying
little girl and assured Logan she would be fine.  Knowing she was wrong, he was
thrown for a loop when he’d called later that night and talked with Hazel.  She
had been cheerful and happy and some of the guilt and worry had lifted a
little.  When he picked her up three days later, she was completely back to her
old self.  He didn’t understand it but he hadn’t questioned it, just filled
with relief that she seemed to be coping with Lily’s absence.

Now, he gave Rob a look of confusion.  “I
just don’t get it.  She was devastated when Lily left but the last week or so
she’s been happy and normal.”

“Kids, man.  They’re resilient, you know?” 
Rob was giving him an oddly guilty look but before Logan could question him
about it, the alarm went off with a shrill bray.

Rob jumped to his feet and clapped Logan on
the back.  “Go home before Bill makes you go on the call.”

Logan nodded and watched as Rob hurried out
of the room.  Within minutes, the previously busy fire house was nearly empty
and he stood up as the loud siren of the truck started.  He wandered downstairs
and stood in the silence for a moment before heading toward dispatch.

He was done his shift and he should be
leaving to pick up Hazel and going home but he didn’t want to.  He didn’t want
to go home to his empty house.  He didn’t want to smile and pretend to Hazel
that everything was okay without Lily and Rachel.

He sighed harshly and stuck his head into
the dispatcher’s room.  “Hey Judy.  How are you?”

“Good.”  The young woman smiled at him. 
“Aren’t you done your shift?”

“Yeah.”  He leaned against her desk and
watched as she typed something into her computer.  “What was the call for?”

“House fire.”  She said absently.  “Some
place over in the ritzy part of town.  Downing Street, I think.”

Logan’s blood ran cold.  “Downing Street? 
Are you sure?”  He asked hoarsely.

She gave him an odd look.  “Yes.  Why?”

“What’s the address?”  He had only been to
Lily’s former house once before but he remembered the address easily enough.

“Um, I’m not sure.”  She replied.

“Check!”  He nearly shouted at her and she
gave him a startled look before hunching over her computer.

“Eleven.  Eleven Downing Street.”  She
glanced up at Logan.  “Logan?  What’s wrong?”

Logan turned and bolted from the office.

* * *

The house was fully engulfed in flames when
he drove up.  He jumped out of his car, staring in horror at the bright orange
flames, and staggered toward the house.  His coworkers were hosing the house
down with a grim sort of determinedness but even he could see it was a losing
battle.

Charles and Regina were standing on the
sidewalk, their arms around each other like two lost children, and he lurched
toward them.  He grabbed Regina’s arm, his face mad with panic and fear, and
shook her roughly.

“Is Lily home?”  He shouted.  “Are her and
the baby at home?”

“We- we’re not sure.”  Regina sobbed.  “The
neighbours called us and we came right over.  They – they tried to get into the
house but it was already too dangerous.  They think that Lily and Rachel are in
there.”  She gave him a look of stark fear as Logan turned and stared in horror
at the burning house.

“LILY!”  He screamed her name and ran
toward the house.  He had to get in there, he had to find her and Rachel and –

He was tackled and knocked to the ground as
he raced up the sidewalk leading to the house.  He fought bitterly against the
man holding him down and screamed Lily’s name again.  Rob, his head and face
covered by a helmet and mask, shook him roughly before ripping his mask off.

“Logan!  Stop it!  She’s not – “

“It’s not too late!”  Logan shouted at
him.  “I can save her!  Get off me!” 

Rob struggled to pin him down.  “Listen to
me, Logan!  She’s not – “

His head flew back with a snap when Logan
punched him hard in the jaw.  The blow knocked him over and he shook his head
dazedly as Logan staggered to his feet.

“LILY!”  He screamed again.  He started
toward the house.  His panic and need to find her were so great that he almost
didn’t hear her call his name.  The small part of him that wasn’t being
controlled by his panic forced him to a stop.  He whirled around, his jaw
dropping open when he saw Lily standing on the sidewalk.

“Logan!”  She cried and he stumbled to
her.  He stared down at her and touched her cheek with one trembling finger. 

“You weren’t in there.”  He whispered.

She shook her head no and he felt another
overwhelming moment of fear when he saw her empty arms. “Rachel!  Where’s
Rachel?” 

“She’s fine.  She’s safe, honey.  She’s
with Janet.”  Lily said soothingly.

He stared blankly at her and she reached up
and cupped his face.  “We’re okay, honey.”

He threw his arms around her and lifted her
up, smothering her face with kisses.  “I’m so sorry, Lily.  Please come home. 
I love you.”  He kissed her hard on the mouth.  “I love you so much.”

Crying, she kissed him back before resting
her forehead against his.  “I love you too, Logan.”

He hugged her tightly and she rubbed his
back as Regina and Charles approached them.  “It’s alright, honey.  Put me
down, okay?”

He nodded and set her on her feet, holding
her hand tightly as she smiled at Regina and Charles.

“Oh, Lily.”  Regina whispered.  Her face
was white and she was clutching compulsively at the collar of her jacket.  “Oh,
Lily.”  She repeated.

“We’re fine.”  Lily tugged her way free of
Logan’s grip and hugged Regina briefly before squeezing Charles’ arm.  She
looked at the burning house with sorrow as Logan pulled her back into his arms.

“I’m so sorry about your house.”  She said
to Regina and Charles.  “I know I didn’t leave anything on.  I don’t – “

Charles shook his head.  “We don’t care
about the house, Lily.  We’re just glad you and Rachel are safe.”

She nodded as Charles hesitated and then
held his hand out to Logan.  “I’m sorry.  It’s obvious how much you love Lily
and Rachel.”

Logan shook his hand.  “I’m sorry as well.”

Regina touched Lily’s arm.  “You’re welcome
to stay at our house tonight.  We don’t have a crib but we’ve got plenty of
room for you and Rachel.”

Lily shook her head.  “Thank you but we’re
going home with Logan.”

Logan hugged her closer as Rob approached
them.  He was rubbing his jaw and he gave Logan a dry look. 

“Sorry, man.”  Logan said apologetically.

“Yeah, don’t mention it.”  He glanced
behind him at the burning house.  “I’m sorry, Lily.  We weren’t able to get
anything out of the house.  It was too dangerous.”

“That’s alright.”  Lily replied softly. 
“Thank you for trying.”

Logan stared down at her.  “Why is Rachel
with Janet?”  He asked suddenly

Lily flushed a little.  “I’ve been um,
visiting Hazel whenever you brought her to Janet’s.”

Logan didn’t reply and she hurried on. 
“Please don’t be angry, Logan.  I just missed her so much and I couldn’t stand
the thought of never seeing her again.  I asked Rob and Janet not to say
anything and,” she gave him an embarrassed look, “I encouraged Hazel to keep it
a secret as well.”

He shook his head.  “I’m not angry, Lily. 
I love that you love Hazel so much.”

She gave him a smile of relief as he
frowned.  “How did you know the house was on fire?”

“I called home on my way to the fire.”  Rob
chimed in.  “I knew Lily lived on Downing Street and I wanted to check that she
was still safe at our house and confirm her actual address.”

“I was just about to leave when Rob
called.”  Lily said.  “I knew you would be there soon to pick up Hazel, and I
didn’t want to risk running into you.  When I found out the house was on fire,
I left Rachel with Janet and drove over here.”

She squeezed Logan’s hand.  “How did you
know?”

I checked in with dispatch before I left. 
When I realized it was your house I panicked.”  He hugged her again.  “I was so
afraid I was going to lose you, Lily.  I don’t ever want to feel that way
again.  I love you.”

She smiled sweetly at him.  “I love you
too, Logan.”