A Holiday Proposal (13 page)

“You’re selling yourself short, but I will respect your decision. Are we still on for skiing next weekend?”

“You still want to, even after all my drama?”

He grinned. “I have a sister and a niece. I’m used to drama. Besides, as much as I like you and would like to see what we have between us develop into something more, I don’t have time for a relationship, either. Not with my sister and niece around and a new business that needs my attention.”

She gave him a half smile. “Okay, then. I’ll see you next Saturday.” She waved and walked toward home with her stomach in a whirl. She’d almost told him her deepest, darkest secret. Would he still want to spend time with her if he knew? Or more important—could she spend time with him without falling for him?

Chapter 15

M
atthew stood at his kitchen counter and handed a mug of steaming coffee to his sister. He couldn’t shake Holly’s words, or rather, the words she didn’t say. “April, do you know why Holly is dead set against having a relationship?”

April blew on her coffee. “I thought it was because she wants to focus on her job.”

He shook his head. “I did, too, but there’s more to it than that.”

“What?”

“I wish I knew. All I can figure out is that it has something to do with high school.”

April frowned. “Seriously? That’s odd.” She shook her head. “Sorry, I can’t help.”

“Jessica never mentioned anything?”

“Not that I can recall. But we grew apart after graduation.” She took a sip and wrinkled her nose. “This is awful.” She dumped the brew into the sink. “Did you pour the whole bag of grounds into the filter?”

He looked at the empty coffee bag on the counter and sighed. “Yep. Sorry. I think there’s an unopened bag in the pantry.” He looked around the sparkling kitchen. “In case I failed to mention it, you did a great job with the Thanksgiving meal.”

“Thanks. Next year it’s your turn to cook.”

He chuckled and stood. “Fair enough. Think I’ll find John. I can’t believe he leaves in the morning.”

“Yes, but he said something about returning for Christmas.”

Brows raised, he sauntered to the living room, where John lay sprawled on the couch. He pushed at his brother’s legs. “Make room.”

John scrunched his legs up. “Can’t a guy sleep?”

“Nope. April says you’ll be here for Christmas.”

“That all right?”

“More than.” Matthew stared into the crackling fire. John sat up and pulled a fake-fur blanket up to his chin. “I overheard you talking about Holly, and I might be able to help.”

“But you never knew Holly.”

He nodded. “A friend of mine was adopted as an older child. Anyway, he used to complain about his parents hovering. They were terrified he’d have an accident and die because their first child died from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.”

“That’s sad, but what does it have to do with Holly?”

“I only remember this because I knew you had a thing for her. Holly was babysitting my friend’s brother when the baby died. Even years later, his parents blamed her, but the police investigation determined she wasn’t at fault.”

Matthew let out his breath in a whoosh. “Whoa. Why didn’t I hear about this?” Little things Holly said began to make sense in context. His stomach knotted, and his heart hurt for the teen that she once was. Had she carried this burden alone all this time?

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe it wasn’t in the papers or they kept it quiet since she was a minor.”

“
You
heard about it.”

“Yeah, but that was years after the fact and from a family member.” John sat up and rested his feet on the floor. “Is there anything going on between the two of you?”

“No. Not that I would mind. She’s interested, but she’s holding back. She’s convinced herself that she must focus on her job and that alone.” He’d been telling the truth when he told Holly he didn’t have time for a relationship, but he’d make the time for her. He wanted to be a permanent fixture in her life if only she’d allow it.

“Makes sense.”

Matthew jerked his head to face his brother. “What do you mean?”

“There’s more to the story. Apparently she had her boyfriend at the house while she was sitting. He wasn’t supposed to be there.”

“I think I see what you’re getting at, but it’s kind of a reach.”

“Not to a fifteen-year-old.”

“Looks like all those psychology classes are sinking in.” Matthew pushed up. “Thanks for the info.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Not sure. I think she may have been trying to tell me about this earlier today, but ultimately she didn’t.” His brows furrowed. “’Night, John. Remember, the train leaves early. Be ready to leave by five forty-five.” He went to his room and readied for bed. What could he do to help Holly? Obviously she didn’t want him to know about what happened—or did she? After all, she’d begun to tell him. Maybe if he told her he knew, she’d relax around him. Maybe having everything out in the open would finally break the chains that bound her to her past. Then again, it could push her further away from him than ever.

* * *

Holly dropped her bag onto the bed of the hotel room she was sharing with her mom and sister then pulled her ringing cell from her purse. “Hello?”

“Hi, Holly, it’s Elsa.”

A grin stretched across her face. “It’s great to hear from you. How was your trip home?”

“Fine.”

“How are things going?”

“Better. The job isn’t as bad as I expected. In fact, I rather like it. My son-in-law apologized as if his life depended on it.”

Holly grinned. “I’m glad things have improved.”

“Thanks for the money. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know.”

“I want to repay you.”

“No way. That was a gift. Don’t spoil it for me.”

Silence greeted her declaration, then sniffles.

“You are too good to this old woman. May God bless you for your kindness. How are things going with your mother?”

“Better, I think. I’m in Seattle, Christmas shopping with my mom and sister. Not that I have much to buy, but it’s fun nonetheless.”

“Wonderful! I’m so pleased things have improved. I told my daughter about Leavenworth, and she wants to go there sometime with me. Just the two of us. Isn’t that something?”

Tears pricked Holly’s eyes. “Be sure to call when you’re in town. I’d love to see you again and meet your daughter.”

“She wants to meet you, too. Well, I should go. Bye, Holly.”

Before she could reply the line went dead. She brushed a lone tear from her cheek and put the phone into her purse. The door to the hotel room burst open and her mom and sister stumbled in, holding each other and laughing uproariously.

She looked from her mom to her sister. “What did I miss?”

Mom waved a hand. “You had to be there.”

The duo giggled a moment longer then each caught their breath.

She’d heard that before. Seemed she was always missing out on the funny stuff. Holly tried to ignore the slight and focus on the positive. If Elsa could reconcile with her daughter, then she could forgive her mother for not including her in the private jokes she shared with Jessica. They were in a fabulous city for the weekend with tons of restaurants and shopping to keep them busy. “Wasn’t it great that our room was already available?”

Jessica nodded. “And it’s such a posh place, too. Mom, you really went all out.”

Holly took in the dark cherry bed frames and plush carpeting. Everything about this room said
money
. “Yes, it’s very spalike.”

Mom’s face shone. “I’m glad you girls like it. Your dad and I thought we needed a little pampering after everything...”

Jessica’s eyes clouded.

Holly cleared her throat. “That was very nice of both of you. Are you ready to shop till we drop?” She tried to add enthusiasm to the question, hoping to pull Jessica from the sad reminder their mother had brought up.

“Lead the way,” Jessica said with a watery smile.

Holly draped her purse across her body and slipped an arm around her sister. “Happy thoughts, Jessie,” she said softly.

“I know. My doctor sees no reason why we can’t try again, but we thought we’d wait a little bit.”

“Good idea. You need time to heal.”

Their mother was several steps ahead of them and appeared to be oblivious to the private conversation.

They set out on foot in downtown Seattle. A boutique kitchen store grabbed Holly’s attention and brought Matthew to the front of her mind. What was he doing on his day off? She’d talked briefly with his brother on the train, but John was the quiet one. “I’d like to check this place out.” She turned to her mom. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all. We can begin our shopping here. Everyone needs a little something for their kitchen.”

They went inside.

Fifteen minutes later Jessica sidled up to her. “You ready to move on?”

Holly nodded even though she hadn’t picked out any gifts. “Where’s Mom?”

“In line.”

“Do you think she minded that I came this weekend?”

“Of course not. Just the opposite. In fact, she was pleased.”

“How do you know?” Her mother hadn’t given Holly that impression at all when they’d stopped at her apartment early this morning to pick her up.

“She told me how excited she was that the three of us would be spending the weekend together.”

Tension eased from Holly’s shoulders, which she hadn’t realized was there until it disappeared. “Cool. Okay.” Maybe there was hope for her and her mom yet.

Jessica patted her shoulder. “I think Matthew would like that rolling pin.” She winked. “Just saying.”

Holly closed her slack jaw and eyed the marble rolling pin. Way too heavy to cart on the train. Besides, she wasn’t getting him anything. Sure, they were friendly and definitely had chemistry, but she wasn’t ready to be buying him a gift. She couldn’t trust herself to keep her mind on her job if she allowed herself to go there with Matthew. What if tragedy struck again on her watch and she missed it because her mind was distracted?

Jessica nudged her shoulder. “You okay? You look lost in thought, and whatever you’re thinking about doesn’t look pleasant.”

Holly blinked. “Guess I was.” Maybe she should ask Jessie her opinion. No, bringing up an infant’s death would make her sister sad. If only she could be guaranteed she’d never allow distractions to keep her from doing her job to the best of her abilities. But relationships were a distraction.

Jessica pulled her outside the store. “Out with it. What has you frowning?” Holly spotted their mother a few steps ahead. She really needed to pay attention to what was going on around her. At this rate, she’d lose her family among all the shoppers.

“Nothing I care to talk about.”

“Does it have to do with a certain baker we know?”

“Now, why would you ask that?” Holly’s forehead crinkled as she dodged a person texting as they moved along the busy sidewalk.

“I heard the two of you have been spending time together.”

“From whom?” Sure it was a small town, but Jessica lived in Wenatchee.

“April.”

She should have thought of Matthew’s sister. “Oh. We haven’t spent
that
much time together.”

Jessica raised a brow and her eyes glinted with mischief. “That’s not what I heard.”

“April is exaggerating.”

Jessica pulled her into a clothing boutique. “You sure about that? Sledding, strolls through town, coffee—I heard he even walked you home and cooked for you.”

“That part isn’t completely true.” Holly smiled smugly and crossed her arms. “He only threw together a sandwich. That’s
not
cooking.”

Jessica waved a hand in front of her face. “Semantics. I also heard you recruited him to help out at church. The rumor mill had you two practically engaged with the amount of flirting that was going on.”

Holly’s arms jetted to her sides with fisted hands. “Now, that’s nuts!” But even as she protested, the idea of a life with Matthew appealed. If anyone could make her change her mind on this issue, it was him.

Jessica tossed her head back and laughed. “Gotcha.”

Holly glared at her sister, but couldn’t help the smile that tickled her lips. “That wasn’t nice.” She lightly pinched her sister. Jessica was right, though; she and Matthew had been spending time together.

* * *

Later that same evening, Jessica pulled Holly aside. “I’ve been thinking about how Mom is always so uptight around the holidays. Maybe we can try to find out what the problem is.”

Holly’s eyes widened. She glanced toward their mother, who was putting their names on a waiting list for a table. “I don’t know, Jessie. We’ve had such a great time together. I’d hate to ruin it by bringing up something that might cause her pain. Or worse yet, cause her to be upset with me again.”

Jessica shook her head. “No. This is the perfect time because we’ve had such a great day. Just leave it to me.”

Mom strolled up to them. “It’ll be about ten minutes.” She held up a pager. “We can wait outside if we want, since it’s so crowded in here.”

“No way,” both girls said in unison.

“Suit yourselves.” Mom sat on the edge of a bench. Her eyes drooped and her shoulders sagged.

Holly tugged on Jessica’s arm and pulled her out of earshot. “She looks exhausted. I think this is a bad idea.”

“Trust me.”

Holly wrung her fingers together and bit her bottom lip. She’d enjoyed bonding with her sister and mom today and didn’t want anything to ruin it, but if Jessie felt this was the right thing to do, maybe she was right. “Fine.”

A short while later, Mom stood and waved to them. “Come on, girls. Our table is ready.”

“That was fast.” Holly followed her family and breathed a little easier when they were seated at a table instead of a booth. At least it wouldn’t look as if they were ganging up on their mom, and neither of them would be shoulder to shoulder with her if she got angry.

They studied their menus and placed their orders.

“This was such a fun day.” Mom smiled softly. “I’m glad you were able to come, Holly.”

Holly’s eyes widened and she sat a little taller. “Thanks. Me, too.”

Jessica cleared her throat. “Mom, Holly and I have noticed something we are concerned about.”

Holly wanted to kick her sister. Talk about bad timing. “Jessie, can’t this wait?”

Mom looked from Holly to Jessica with concern etched in her eyes. “Just spit it out.”

Jessica shot her a triumphant look. “As I was saying, we’ve noticed that the holidays seem to be especially difficult for you. Is there anything we can do to help?”

Their mom picked at a paper napkin. She opened and closed her mouth several times, then her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “You’re right. I do struggle this time of year. The holidays weren’t always a happy time in my life, and I guess that November and December stir up some bad memories.”

She reached out to both of them. “I suppose I should have shared this years ago.” She looked to Jessica. “Especially in light of your miscarriage.” She blinked rapidly and cleared her throat. “Before I had you girls I miscarried twice, and both times were around the holidays. I was pretty far along both times and I began to think I’d never be able to have children. I know it’s not fair to my living children to be mourning my babies that didn’t make it. I’m so sorry.” Tears slid down her face.