A Hint of Seduction (25 page)

She paused for a moment and then said, “Perhaps I can best explain it by simply asking what would you do if you woke up tomorrow morning and discovered the previous Earl of Chatwin wasn’t your real father.”

“I have to admit I’ve never given anything like this a thought.”

“I think you would feel as if you had been living a lie through no fault of your own and you would have a determination to find out the truth just like I do.”

“Perhaps.” That was all he was willing to admit.

“Most people don’t have to think about a situation like this. You can’t understand because you are an earl’s son and you have always known your heritage. I need to know who I belong to. It has nothing to do with not loving the man whose name I bear. It has to do with how I feel about there being something in my past that I don’t know the answer to. How can I not try to find out what that answer is?”

John swallowed hard. He would never have known she had these feelings inside her. He liked the fact that she didn’t wear her troubles on her sleeve and that she kept them to herself.

“My mother loved a man enough to give herself to him. I’m the creation of that union. I deserve to know why he didn’t marry her when she told him she was carrying his child.”

“And you are sure she told him.”

“As sure as I can be. In the last readable diary entry she wrote that she planned to tell him about her plight that evening. I want to know what happened when she told him. Did he feel nothing for my mother and only want to dally with her? Was he promised to another lady and felt he had to honor that vow? Was he just a coldhearted man who could ruin a lady and leave her with no thoughts of how she would cope?”

John listened intently. He truly wanted to understand what she was feeling. “What if this man doesn’t want to know about you?”

She took a deep breath and shifted in the seat. “I’ve thought about that, and I realize that it is quite possible. However, I’m not going to worry about it because I’m doing this for me, not for him. I believe he knows he has a child, and as far as I know he’s never looked for me. I
couldn’t have been that difficult to find for a man with means. How he feels about hearing from me is not as important to me as how I will feel once I know who he is.”

“And how will you feel?” he asked softly, watching how the warming glow from the lanterns played on her delicate skin.

“I don’t know. I hope to feel complete. Right now a piece of my past is missing. A very important piece. The only way I can explain it is to say I must keep searching until I have the answers.”

She wasn’t quibbling over what she had to do. She was resolute and that impressed the hell out of him.

“And what will you do after you’ve found him.”

“Confront him with my questions. Ask him what happened between him and my mother that they never married.”

“What will you do if he doesn’t give you the answers you seek?”

“I don’t want to cause him any trouble if that’s what you mean. It is my desire to keep all of this private between my father and me. And I don’t want any support from him. My father—the man I always thought was my father—left me a handsome income. I’m not looking for money. Just answers.”

“No, I didn’t think you wanted support from him.”

“A lot of things will depend on how he reacts. I want to know what made him run out on my mother in her time of greatest need. I want to understand so I’m not constantly wondering why. I’m their daughter. I have a right to know these things.”

“For your sake, when you find him, I hope he agrees with you, but no matter how he responds to you, what do you plan to do after this search is finished?”

She folded her hands in her lap and said, “I will go on
with my life and do what Victoria wants me to do, what all young ladies do. I shall look for a proper husband and get married.”

“I envy you,” John suddenly said, and didn’t know why he’d been so truthful, but he wasn’t unhappy he’d said it.

She gave him a look of disbelief. “What? You envy me? Why?”

“You know exactly what you want and you’re going after it. And not only that, you’re not afraid to do it. You have plans.”

“I have no choice. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering who my father was.”

“How do you think I can help you?”

“I need introductions to the men. As an earl they will willingly allow you into their house and you can introduce me to them so I can get to know them.”

“Who are they?”

“Mr. William Walker Chatsworth and Mr. Robert Beechman.”

This won’t be easy.

“Those are two good family names, but I don’t know how to say this other than to tell you that both men are strange ducks.”

“I’ve heard of their idiosyncrasies, but I’ve also heard that Mr. Chatsworth enjoys visitors and card games. I’m very good at most games. If I could get him interested in a card game, then I could casually ask him if he remembers my mother and then take the conversation from there.”

She was incredible. He had no doubt that in time she would find out all she wanted to know.

“How do you know he enjoys a good card game?”

“I’ve found out a few things on my own simply by asking questions.”

“Indeed you have.”

John’s admiration for her grew. He reached over and picked up her hand and held it in both of his. Her skin was warm even though it was cool in the windowless building.

“I’m going to help you, Catherine. I consider it a challenge to help you find him, and I promise you we won’t rest until we do.”

The glimmer in her eyes turned into a bright sparkle. “John, do you mean it?”

“Every word of it.”

He would find her father for her. He’d never wanted to really get involved with a lady or her problems until he met Catherine. But he was intrigued by the prospects of trying to get private information out of these two men.

“Thank you, John, thank you.”

She reached over, threw her arms around him, and kissed him soundly on the lips.

The brevity, the chasteness of that one unsolicited kiss hit him so hard his trousers tightened.

As if realizing what she had done, Catherine suddenly pulled away from him and moved far to the other side of the cushion again.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I won’t do it again. I promise. I don’t want you to think I was trying to repay you for your help with kisses.”

She looked so stricken for a moment that John had to laugh.

“I didn’t think that. We’ve already settled that issue, but you said there was something else you were going to ask me to help you with. What was that?”

She gave him a doubtful look. “Are you sure you want to hear it?”

“Of course I do.”

“I wanted to ask you to continue your interest in me for a little while longer—even after you tire of me and seek the charms of another lady. If you continued to pay attention to me, that would keep Victoria happy. She enjoys trying to outwit you and that would keep her so busy she won’t be eager to marry me off to the Marquis or the first acceptable man who offers for my hand.”

If only Catherine knew he had no interest in anyone but her she wouldn’t have to ask that. And the last thing he wanted was Mrs. Goosetree trying to marry her off to Westerland or anyone else.

Where were all these notions coming from? He’d never thought about settling down to one lady. He’d always resisted the natural instinct to think about a wife, a home and a family. He’d never wanted that kind of life and he’d meant it. He’d scoffed at anyone who did. Why were those thoughts invading his mind now?

Catherine was making him rethink a lot of things.

“That won’t be difficult at all. I will help you with both your requests.”

Her eyes sparkled with anticipation. “Are you teasing me, my lord?”

He scooted over closer to her and cupped her chin with the tips of his fingers. “I wouldn’t do that to you at a time like this. Not when you are so serious.”

He saw relief wash down her face. Her expression sent his heartbeat racing against his breathing, and suddenly all his thoughts centered on the heat between his legs.

“I can’t thank you enough for doing this.”

“No more thanks. I’ll need more information from you, but we can talk about that on the way home.”

“All right.”

“I’d like to read your mother’s diary for myself. Perhaps there’s some clue or something you’ve missed.”

“I’ll see you get it right away. John, I’m so—”

She looked as if she was about to thank him again, so he placed his fingertips against her lips to quiet her and said, “Don’t give me any more gratitude. I’m filled up to here with it.” He laid his other hand across his heart. “I don’t want anything for doing this.”

“All right,” she whispered against his fingers.

It was time for him to get her home, but she was too close, and they were too alone. He was a man and he wanted to kiss her before they left.

The scooped neckline of her dress accented her beautiful breasts; goose bumps peppered his skin at the thought of touching her. Everything about her from her smile to the fragrance of her fresh-washed hair stirred him like no other woman ever had.

He wanted Catherine.

He moved even closer to her, and not allowing his gaze to leave hers, he placed an open palm on the front of her chest where his fingertips could caress the hollow of her throat. The heel of his palm rested on the fullness of her breasts.

“Did I tell you how lovely you are in the color blue?” he asked softly.

“No,” she answered in the same quiet tone.

“I should have.” He rubbed the cloth of her dress between his fingers. “I think the dye-maker must have been thinking about your eyes when he made this shade.”

“I’ll wear it more often.”

“I’m going to kiss you because I want to, Catherine, and for no other reason.”

“And I’m going to return your kiss for no other reason than I want to,” she said, with her eyes conveying the message that she meant every word.

John pulled her up close and tight in the circle of his arms. Her breasts pressed against his chest as their lips met in a stirring kiss. His lips moved easily over hers, back and forth, softly, and deliberately slowly as if he were trying to take in her essence.

His hands skimmed slowly down each side of her neck and glided across the top of her shoulders and drifted down her arms. She leaned into the kiss and wound her arms around his neck and shoulders. His muscles tightened beneath her touch.

John heard her sigh contentedly against his mouth, and the fires of desire flashed through him like heat through an oven. He deepened the kiss, and she responded by opening her mouth. He moved his tongue inside and tasted the claret that had been left on her lips.

Her sweetness gave him a heady feeling.

Catherine matched him desire for desire and passion for passion. She responded with such fervor he thought he was going to lose control and start pulling off her clothing.

His kisses left her lips and moved down her chin to the soft skin on her neck just below her jawline where he could feel the frantic beat of her pulse against his lips.

He liked what he did to her. His tongue came out and tasted her skin.

Sweet glory.

The sudden intake of her breath thrilled and excited him. A strong shudder of desire to make her his swept through him.

She was so eager for his touch that he couldn’t stop caressing her back, her neck, around her ears, and down the front of her dress to flatten his palms against her breasts. Soft, yet enticingly firm and fulfilling.

John had never felt such satisfaction from a woman.

She must have loved the way he touched her, too, because her breathing grew faster. Her lips continued to move seductively over his. His own breathing was gusty as his hands favored her breasts. He strained to hold himself in check and take it slow, but he was too hungry for her and she was too receptive for him to be a gentleman lover.

John wanted her to know that he desired her. He wanted her to know that she was different from all the others, but he didn’t know how to let her know she was special other than to softly whisper her name over and over again.

The high waist of her dress fit tight up under her breasts, and with just a couple of movements of his hands he unbuttoned the first three buttons of her pelisse. He gently lowered the bodice of her dress and underclothing off her beautiful, rounded shoulders, freeing her breasts from her clothing. His gaze devoured her.

Over the years he’d seen women in all stages of undress, but he couldn’t ever remember being as enthralled by any of them as he was with Catherine’s beauty. Her skin was a lovely shade of creamy white. Her breasts were round, plump, and firm. Her brownish-rose colored nipples were hard as if they were waiting to be warmed by his mouth.

“You are as beautiful as I imagined you’d be.”

“That is quite a compliment, my lord. Thank you.”

He looked up into her trusting blue eyes as the palms of his hands skimmed back and forth across her nipples, making them peak tight with awareness. An uncommon yearning for something more raced through him as his hands lightly touched her delicate skin.