A Hidden Truth (16 page)

I sat down, uncertain what to do or say. Before I could worry for long, Sophia had placed a cup and saucer in front of me and then filled my cup with coffee. Jakub's mother said something to Sophia that I couldn't understand while Jakub pulled a chair close and poured coffee for his mother, grandmother, and finally for himself.

Sophia placed a platter in the center of the table and small plates and forks in front of us.

“
Kolaches
. You will like,” Jakub said. He rubbed his stomach. “Very good.”

Jakub's mother lifted the platter and offered it to me. I was afraid I would be late getting home, but I couldn't refuse. I smiled my thanks and lifted one of the sweet rolls from the plate. A dollop of cherry filling sat nestled in the center of the pastry. I cut off a bite, lifted the fork to my mouth, and bit into the soft texture. The delightful consistency of the tender dough and sweet filling was as good as any pastry I'd ever tasted in Krüger's Bakery.

I looked at Jakub's mother and pointed to the pastry. “Wonderful. Very good.” I wished I could speak in their language so that she would understand.

She nodded and pointed to Jakub's grandmother. I turned toward his grandmother and repeated my praise. The older woman nodded and smiled, then helped herself to one of the kolaches. After taking a bite, she grinned and motioned for me to take another. I hadn't yet finished the first. I shook my head, and she frowned.

I motioned toward the door. “I must go home soon.”

After Jakub explained, she wiped her hands on her napkin and got up from the table. Soon she returned with a cloth napkin, wrapped two of the kolaches inside, and pointed to me. “She wants to give you those to take home with you,” Jakub said.

Her eyes gleamed with pleasure. I couldn't refuse. A short time later, I bid them all good-bye and thanked them for the coffee and kolaches. Jakub grabbed his coat when I neared the door.

Jamming his arms into the sleeves, he quickly fastened the buttons. “I will walk with you. To make sure you are safe.”

He turned to explain to his mother, who nodded and waved to me. Sophia and the other two women were deep in conversation when we walked out the door. “They are very nice, Jakub. Thank you for inviting me.” I grinned and tapped the napkin. “And for the kolaches.”

He laughed. “I was sure you would like them.”

We walked in silence until we neared the pond. “I'll go the rest of the way by myself. I am fine.”

He didn't argue. “You come for sure next Thursday?”

“Yes. And I'll bring the napkin back.” I grasped his hand. “Thank you, Jakub. I had a nice time.”

“Bring your skates,” he called as I walked to the other side of the pond.

“I will!” I waved and continued toward the kitchen house, my heart much lighter than when I'd departed. Nothing had changed. I still knew nothing about my mother, but while I had been with Jakub and his family, none of it seemed to matter. As I sat around the table in their tiny kitchen, I had completely forgotten about my mother's past, and it had felt good. Maybe Cousin Louise was right. Maybe I did need to forget the past and move into the future.

I gasped when the clock in the watchtower chimed. It was the first bell, the one telling the workers supper would soon be served. I began to run and soon caught sight of the barn. As I came across the rise, Karlina, Anton, and Cousin George appeared.

I jammed the napkin into my coat pocket and held my hand near the opening. I didn't want to risk the possibility of the napkin protruding, for that would cause a flurry of questions. Karlina was the first to spot me. She waved and shouted my name, and then all three of them came to a halt. Panting, I ran toward them while holding my hand over my pocket.

Karlina leaned to one side and looked at my hand as I came to a stop beside her. “What's wrong with your hand?”

“Nothing. I had a small ache in my side.” I pushed my hand tighter against my side.

Cousin George continued walking. “Come or we will be late to supper. It would not be gut for all of my wife's family to be late entering the Küche.”

I sighed with relief, thankful any further conversation regarding my hand had been avoided.

As we entered the village, Cousin George glanced over his shoulder. “Where have you been this afternoon, Dovie?”

My relief evaporated like snow on a spring day. “I went for a walk down by the pond. I had Cousin Louise's permission.”

“You were skating?”

“No. I didn't take skates with me.”

“Once the weather begins to warm up, you must not go skating by yourself. The ice will become weak, and you could have an accident.” Cousin George pointed toward the sky. “I do not think we need to worry about melting ice right away. Looks like snow clouds in the distance.”

Though I had no knowledge of snow clouds, I murmured my agreement and hoped we would arrive back at the Küche before Cousin George would ask any more questions about my whereabouts. I didn't want to tell an outright lie.

CHAPTER 16

While thoughts of my mother's past had been nonexistent during the time I'd been with Jakub and his family, the nagging questions returned once we arrived back at the kitchen house.

Cousin Louise arched her brows when I walked inside with Karlina, Anton, and Cousin George. “You have been at the barn all afternoon?”

“I went for a walk down to the pond. You said I could go. Remember?” I glanced at Cousin George, who had stepped closer and was listening to our exchange.

“Ja. But when you came in with the others, I thought you had been at the barn. You did not get too cold being outdoors for so long?”

“No. Someone had been skating earlier, and they left a small fire burning near the pond. I added a little wood and was able to warm my hands.” I hoped my story sounded believable. Most of what I'd said was true.

Brother George removed his coat. “Is not gut that people go off and do not put out the fire. That is a bad way of doing things.”

I swallowed hard. “It was almost out. I stirred it a little to keep the embers going and added some twigs to keep it hot.”

Brother George appeared somewhat appeased. “And you made certain the fire was out before you left the pond?”

“Yes.” I couldn't meet his eyes when I answered.

It had been Jakub who had put out the fire, but there was no doubt it was out before we left and when we returned after leaving his house, as well. But because I didn't want to find myself on a train to Texas, I didn't add any of those facts.

Snow began to fall after supper, and Anton and Karlina suggested the possibility of going sled riding the following afternoon. I agreed it would be fun, but they were far more excited by the prospect than I was. Karlina could deny that she had feelings for Anton, but I knew better. I wondered if Cousin Louise had observed the change in her daughter's behavior when Anton was around, for she seemed to notice everything else.

After Karlina recited her prayers, she settled into her bed. “You didn't appear excited to go sledding tomorrow. Do you want me to ask Berndt to come along? Would that make you happier?”

The hog-hair mattress shifted beneath me as I turned. “You can ask him, but I think he will have to work. His father is keeping him busy most every day.” I hesitated only a moment. “I am guessing because of your mother.”

“What do you mean?” Though I could distinguish no more than the outline of her body in the darkness, I didn't miss the hurt in Karlina's voice.

“I think she knows we were meeting in the afternoons and told his father.”

The bedclothes rustled and Karlina's feet hit the floor. She crossed the short distance between our beds and sat down on the edge of the mattress. “I did not tell her you had been meeting Berndt. Is that what you think?”

“No. But I think she somehow found out. Someone could have seen us at the pond and told her.”

Karlina reached for my hand. “I think she would have told me, but she hasn't said a word. Just because Berndt must do chores in the afternoon, it does not mean—”

“Not long ago he was able to meet me most every afternoon. Suddenly he could not. Does that not seem strange to you?”

“Nein. In the winter there are extra jobs to be done. Timber needs to be cut, and ice must be harvested from the river. Everyone who has time is expected to help with those chores.”

“Perhaps you are right.” Karlina started to release my hand, but I grabbed a tight hold. “Did your mother tell you about our conversation today?”

“Ja. After prayer meeting. She said the letters did not satisfy you.”

“Those letters said nothing more than what she'd already told me. I don't know why she thought they would help.” I hitched up in the bed. “Did she say anything else?”

“Only that she's praying you will forget the past. Do not push her too far, Dovie. I do not want her to suggest that you go and join your father in Texas.” She squeezed my hand. “I like having you here.”

As Karlina returned to her bed, I rolled to my side and plumped the feather pillow. I didn't want to anger Cousin Louise, but my heart longed for knowledge that would connect to my mother's past. Even I didn't understand my need to gain this knowledge, but I wouldn't be satisfied until I learned the truth.

I smiled in the darkness. “I like being here, too, Karlina. And I won't push too much.”

Unless I have to.
I stared into the darkness and asked God's forgiveness for the lies I'd told earlier in the day. I also asked that He guide me to the truth so that I could find peace. I thought it was the least He could do, since I had to live the rest of my life without a mother. I would see if He agreed.

A light snow fell throughout the night, and by morning there were at least three inches on the ground. Karlina peeked out the window and clapped her hands. “When you go to the bread wagon, tell Berndt we are going sledding this afternoon. Tell him I am inviting him to join us,” Karlina said as I prepared to go downstairs.

I stepped to the window and peered outside. “Maybe the wagon won't be able to make it through this snow.”

“He will make it. The kitchen houses must have their bread, milk, and meat. You can be sure that the wagon boxes were prepared with runners last night.” Karlina chuckled. “The horses will be pulling a bread sleigh instead of a bread wagon.”

“In that case, I'd better hurry.” I pushed down on the heavy metal latch and opened the bedroom door. After passing through the parlor and outer hallway, I bounded down the steps. The familiar jingle of the bread wagon announced its approach as I stepped over the threshold into the kitchen.

“Berndt will bring it inside, Dovie. The snow is deep, and he will be wearing his boots. When the snow is deep, he is used to bringing the orders inside.”

Just as Cousin Louise predicted, Berndt arrived at the back door. He stomped his boots on the porch, and I hurried to open the door. “Guten Morgen.” He placed the bread trays on the worktable and removed his cap. “Did you ask for all this snow, Sister Louise?”

“Nein. You can be sure it was not me.” Cousin Louise studied the bread trays, obviously making sure she'd gotten her full order.

“What about you, Sister Dovie? Are you the one to blame for the snowfall?” He turned his back toward Cousin Louise and winked at me.

“Maybe.” I could feel heat slowly climbing up my cheeks. “Karlina and I decided it would be fun to go sledding this afternoon, and sure enough, we awakened to all this snow.” I fastened my gaze on him, hoping that he would understand what I was trying to tell him.

“Ja, well then I will have to blame the two of you that I had to put the runners on the wagon.” He grinned and nodded. “I hope you will have fun this afternoon. I like the big hill beyond the cemetery when I go sledding, but you can be sure Karlina knows all the gut spots.”

He arched his brows as if asking where he would find us. At least I hoped that was what it meant, so I gave a slight nod and said, “She told me that was where we were going.” In truth, Karlina hadn't mentioned our sledding destination, but I was certain I could convince her.

“You'd better be on your way, Berndt. Otherwise, Sister Fuch will think you are stuck in a snowdrift along the way. She will send the men out looking for you. If that happened and you were discovered loitering in my kitchen, I would never hear the end of it.” Cousin Louise waved him toward the door.

Berndt tugged his cap onto his head and grinned. “I don't think you need to worry. Sister Fuch prefers to place the blame on me when things go wrong with her bread deliveries.” He strode toward the door. “Auf Wiedersehen.”

“Was that Berndt?” Karlina came into the kitchen and shot a questioning look in my direction.

“Since the snow hasn't yet been shoveled off the walkway, Berndt carried the bread inside for us.” I picked up the small bowls of rhubarb jelly and nodded toward the dining room. Karlina followed me to a far table. “I think he will meet us at the hill near the cemetery. We couldn't talk alone because your mother was in the kitchen.”

“Karlina, you are keeping Dovie from her work.” Cousin Louise rounded the doorway and stepped into the dining room. She gestured toward the back door. “We will need milk.”

Karlina's shoulders sagged. “You want me to go to the cellar and get it for you?”

“Ja, and hurry. We do not have time to waste. Be sure to put on your boots.”

Karlina scurried toward the kitchen and I followed her a few moments later. Soon the other women arrived, all of them stomping their feet on the back porch and commenting on the weather as they entered the kitchen. Most brought their knitting or mending with them, declaring they wouldn't go home until after the evening meal.

“I think that is wise. We may get even more snow during the day,” Cousin Louise said. “We will have a gut time visiting in between serving times.”

Once the cleaning had been completed after the morning meal, I approached Cousin Louise. “I thought I would dust the upstairs rooms this morning while you visit with the others.”

On any other day, I would have taken the opportunity to seek out one of the women and try to gain personal information regarding my mother. But today I wanted to go sledding. And I didn't want Cousin Louise to have any excuse for denying our request.

Cousin Louise removed her apron and hung it near the doorway. “That is not necessary. There are other times when we can dust the upstairs rooms.” She studied me for a moment. “Unless that is what you would prefer.”

“It is. Thank you.”

“I don't think anyone has ever before thanked me for such a thing, but you are welcome. You need not come downstairs to help with the midmorning meal.” She chuckled. “I have more than enough help for that.”

Cleaning cloth in hand, I worked my way through the parlor, the bedroom I shared with Karlina, and Anton's room. Only the bedroom shared by Cousin Louise and Cousin George remained. I would still have time to write a letter to my father before the noonday preparations began. This bedroom was a bit larger than the others, but not by much. There were two single beds, two small tables, and a large wardrobe. Soon after arriving, I'd learned that only single beds were used in the colonies, a fact I thought strange, since my parents had shared a bed. I didn't ask why, for I feared the answer might embarrass either me or the person I asked. Perhaps the elders thought it a better and more economical use of time and materials to make only one size bed and one size mattress, but I wasn't certain.

As I drew near the table in the far corner, my gaze fell upon a sizable packet of envelopes that looked similar to the ones Cousin Louise had received from my mother. They were tied with a string and turned facedown on the table. My heart hammered a rapid beat, and my stomach tightened into a knot. I reached for the packet and turned it over. My mouth went dry as I stared at my mother's familiar handwriting. I ran the pad of my thumb along the edge of the envelopes. There were far more letters here than Cousin Louise had shown to me.

What was in these letters, and why hadn't she given me all of them to read? Instinctively, I glanced over my shoulder as I pulled one of the envelopes from beneath the string.

With quivering fingers I removed the letter. While keeping a sharp ear for approaching footsteps, I scanned the pages. This letter had been written when I turned five years old. Mother wrote about our visit to the department store to purchase a new dress for my birthday gift that year. Without reading her description, I could still vividly recall that day and the beautiful pale blue dress with lace trim. Never had I felt as lovely as when I'd modeled that dress for my father. His reaction had meant as much to me as the dress itself. Other than that, there was nothing more than an account of the weather, my mother's progress on a quilt, and several questions regarding the health and welfare of Cousin Louise and her family. I tucked the letter back inside the envelope.