A Heart to Heal (17 page)

Shayla straightened her shoulder lifted the corner of her mouth. “Only temporarily.”

Jennie harrumphed. “You look just like your daddy.”

“I'm not my daddy.”

One of Jennie's thin shoulders lifted. “According to what happened in Atlanta, the apple don't fall far from the tree.” Jennie stuck her pen in her ponytail. “I'll put this in for you. To go.”

Shayla's face burned and she clenched her fist to keep from slapping the smug look off Jennie's face. “It's for here. And my personal life isn't your business.”

Jennie raised an eyebrow. “Tell that to the news.”

Jennie walked away, and Shayla glanced around to see if anyone had overheard the exchange. Thankfully, the seats next to her at the bar were empty, but the guy sitting two seats over gave her a once over before his lips spread into a sly smile. She looked away, drumming her fingers on the counter with one hand and fingering the heart at her neck with the other. Complaining to Mr. Wilson about Jennie was useless. The man had been sleeping with the woman for years and despite her bad attitude she ran the place better than any other waitress he had.

The bell chimed over the door, bringing in a blast of air from outside and new patrons. She glanced over her shoulder and nearly fell off her seat. Devin held the door open for Peaches, who grinned up at him as if he were the president and Santa Claus all wrapped up in one. This confirmed her suspicions that Peaches wasn't over her crush on Devin.

Devin chuckled at something Peaches said. The warm sound sent a thrill through her. She'd tried, unsuccessfully, all day to accept that they would only be friends. That she would no longer experience his kisses on her body or the wonder of being in his arms. But a voice in her head kept reminding her that he wanted her. Not just for a one night stand or occasional hook ups, but out in the open, in a full blown relationship for the entire town to see.

He looked up and froze when their eyes met. Heat flared in their whiskey colored centers. It was so intense she had to look away or else she'd make a fool of herself and run up to hug him or something.

She looked at Peaches and smiled. “Hey, girl.”

Peaches smile turned stiff. “What's up, Shayla.” She sauntered over and sat in the chair next to her. “I haven't seen you since Devin had to carry you out of the club.”

Peaches didn't try to lower her voice, and several patrons in booths near the bar stopped talking and looked expectantly at Shayla and Peaches.

“I walked out,” Shayla said in a tight voice.

Peaches grinned. “Yeah, after saying you were about to throw up. Isn't that right, Devin? Just like old times. Shayla and Tony getting drunk and partying it up.”

Devin's jaw clenched. His eyes were hard as he sat on the other side of Shayla. “I think we can talk about something else now.”

Peaches's devilish smile turned into a frown. “Always taking up for Shayla.”

“Come on, Peaches, let's move on to something else.” Shayla said. She refused to look at Devin and see his disappointment.

Peaches waved a hand. “Okay, tell me what's up with you and that politician? Girl, you really know how to pick 'em. But then, you always had men eating out of the palm of your hand.”

Shayla's heart thumped heavily in her chest. Conversation in the diner ceased. The anticipation for her answer was almost tangible. She didn't have to answer Peaches's question. It was no one's business, but if she didn't shut Peaches down now, she'd go on to tell an exaggerated version of the story to anyone who would listen. If she hadn't already.

“His wife filed for divorce long before I started seeing him. I didn't break up their marriage,” she said in an even tone. It was so quiet in the diner everyone heard.

Peaches raised a brow. “That's what they all say.”

Devin shifted in his seat. “That's enough Peaches.”

If looks could kill, the glare Peaches shot at Devin would have ended his life. “I'm just asking what we all want to know. I mean, it's not like she was all virtuous before she left town but it takes a certain kind of low to sleep with a married man.”

Shayla jumped up from her seat. She took a small amount of satisfaction watching Peaches jerk backwards. “I really appreciate your support, Peaches. I mean, it's hard to come back to a town after a difficult situation. It's nice to know my
friends
have my back.”

With a sigh, Peaches leaned forward. “I've always kept it real with you Shayla. I even told you how messed up it was when you screwed Tony the same day you started seeing Devin.”

Murmurs started in the nearby booths. Shayla's stomach knotted. Her vision blurred and she clenched the back of the barstool. The familiar humiliation from her youth crawled over her like an army of ants. Her eyes darted to the nearby table where a couple sat. She didn't remember their names, but recognized their faces from high school. They both nodded, their heads close as they threw accusing looks her way.

A warm hand rested on her shoulder. She jerked away, refusing to meet Devin's gaze. She didn't need his defense of her. This was good. It was exactly what she needed. A very public reminder that she didn't belong with him.

She glared at Peaches. “Don't bother doing me anymore favors.”

Jennie dumped Shayla's food, wrapped in a to-go box, on the counter. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she pulled wad of cash from her pocket and threw it on the counter.

Devin touched her arm. “Shayla … ”

She snatched away. “Thanks, Jennie.” Jennie just smirked as Shayla grabbed the food and rushed out the door.

• • •

An hour later, Shayla's food remained in the packaging on her kitchen table while she sat and stared at a bottle of wine. The urge to open it and drain its contents pulled and tugged at her insides. Memories of that night and the shame that followed would fade at the bottom of the bottle. It was a coping mechanism she'd started right after it happened. Otherwise, she never would have survived high school. A tear spilled from her eye.

Slutty Shayla. What the guys called her afterwards.

Stupid Shayla. What her mom called her.

She never let them know how much it hurt. Instead she partied harder, laughed louder, and accepted Tony protecting her from the worst of it by dealing with his verbal abuse. It was fitting punishment for what happened, and what she'd done afterward.

With a sad laugh she leaned forward and rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. She was pathetic. The only good thing was nobody knew how pathetic. The last thing she would do was show anyone how hard it was to deal.

A knock on the door jerked her out of her thoughts. She picked up the wine and headed for the front door. Another frantic knock stopped her in her tracks. Turning, she went to the back door with a frown.

“Who is it?” she called turning on the back porch light.

“It's me.”

She gasped and flipped the light off. She quickly unlocked the door and poked her head out. “What are you doing here?” she whispered looking around the dark back yard to see if anyone was watching.

Devin sighed. “Checking on you. Are you okay?”

His eyes were filled with concern. It nearly brought more tears to her eyes. “I'm okay.”

He scowled. “Liar. You look like you're about to cry.”

Her shoulders stiffened and she gripped the wine bottle in her hand. “I'm not crying.”

“Cut it out, Shayla. I could always tell when you were about to cry. You scrunch your nose over and over. It's kinda cute, like a rabbit.”

A reluctant laugh burst from her lips. “I forgot you used to say that.”

He lowered his head to meet her eye. “Will you let me in?”

She started to say no, but he crossed his arms and spread his legs as if he were prepared to stand there all night if needed. She stepped back and pulled him in. “What if someone saw you?”

“No one saw me. I walked here from the diner, and made sure to come through the back. No need to set the gossips off with my truck in your driveway.”

She cringed and heavily dropped the wine bottle onto the table. “I don't know why you even want to see me after the fiasco at the diner.”

She went over and closed the window blinds above the sink, then went into the living room to draw down the shades. Peeking through the small glass windows on the front door she made sure no one was in front of the house.

When Devin's hand brushed the skin at the back of her neck she jumped. He didn't let her pull away; instead he turned her to face him and gently massaged the muscles.

“Stop running. No one in here is going to judge you.”

She drummed her fingers against her leg. “It's not in here that I'm worried about.”

“They don't matter. You're the latest bit of news, next week it'll be someone else. Don't let them get to you.”

His fingers continued their delicious ministrations to her neck. The tension slowly eased from her body. Her fingers soon stopped their frantic beat. She closed her eyes and didn't fight when Devin pulled her against his chest. Nuzzling against him, she sighed. He smelled like the fall air, but was as warm as a summer afternoon.

“I don't want them to get to me,” she said against his shirt. “I don't want them to know how much I hate the rumors about me. Tonight, Peaches brought it all back. What Tony did, living with it afterward, the abortion, everything.”

Devin froze. Shayla gasped. She'd said too much. She jerked away, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “What abortion?”

“Nothing, it's no big deal.”

He shook her arm. “You were pregnant? He made you get an abortion?”

“No.” She met his gaze, but quickly looked away. His grip on her arm softened. “Tony didn't know I was pregnant. Nobody did. I couldn't have his baby. I would have been stuck here in Helena, with him, forever.”

Devin didn't speak. He released her arm and she rushed back into the kitchen. The only other person who knew about the abortion was Tasha. Only because she'd found Shayla crying one afternoon after it happened and dragged the story from her. Over time, she'd pushed the incident to the back of her mind. A necessary step she'd had to take to protect her sanity in the long run. It only haunted her on nights like this when something brought back the shame of her first slide into disgrace.

The bottle of wine beckoned her, but she turned away and pulled the milk out of the fridge. It was time to find another way to deal.

Devin finally made his way into the kitchen. His eyes were bright with anger when they landed on her. She raised her chin and met his gaze head on. She wasn't proud of her decision, but at the time she had no other choice. She'd beat herself up enough over the years for denying life to the child created that horrible night, but in the long run it was the best choice. She and Tony would have made the worse type of parents.

“You can save the lecture. I did what I had to.”

Devin's brows clashed in a dark line over his eyes. “I'm not going to lecture you. I'm going to kill Tony.”

Her shoulders slumped with relief. He wasn't mad at her. She walked over and ran her hand along the rough stubble on his jaw. “Why? He had nothing to do with it.”

“If he hadn't — ”

“We went through this yesterday, remember?” Her hands lifted to the back of his head where they tangled in his hair.

The anger in his eyes melted to desire. Her body responded with an ache between her legs and tightening of her nipples. She pressed against him and brought her other hand up to his shoulder. “Kiss me, Devin.”

His head dipped slightly. She licked her lips. He brought his hands up to her face, his thumbs brushing her cheeks and sending warm shivers through her.

“Be my lady, Shayla, and I'll do a lot more than kiss you.”

Her heart thumped. His eyes were intense as they stared into hers, pleading for her to agree. She lowered her lids, but didn't step out of his embrace. How long would he want her? How long before the murmuring at the diner, and the reminders of what happened in high school and Atlanta become a burden he didn't want to deal with.

“I don't care about them. I only care about you,” he whispered as if reading her thoughts.

She lifted her head. Standing on her toes she brushed her lips against his. He groaned, a sound of pleasure and pain, before kissing her. Her tongue reached out to play across his tempting lower lip when her cell phone rang.

With a start she pulled back. Her breathing came in ragged bursts, her lungs burned and her body yearned for him. His hands squeezed into her back, one gliding down toward her behind. The phone stopped ringing, and then chimed with a voice message. She shook her head before pulling out of his embrace. He didn't say anything as she picked up the phone. She'd missed her mother's call.

The phone rang again. Her mom's number popped on the screen. She ignored it.

“Thank you for checking on me. I'm fine now,” she said.

Devin's soft footsteps crossed the room. He didn't touch her, but she felt him behind her.

“Are you sure you're okay?”

“I'd be better if you spent the night.” She whispered.

He brushed the hair from her neck to run one finger down the back. He rested his hand on her shoulder. “You know what it'll take for me to do that.”

She moved far enough away for his hand to drop. “I can't do that. Good night, Devin.”

A heavy sigh rushed from his lips. “Let me know when you're ready to trust me, Shayla.”

She didn't turn as he quietly left out the back door. She couldn't have Devin. She was only here for a short time. After she left, he'd forget about her and the passion they shared. But she would always be her mother's daughter. She'd always have to live with her disappointment if she accepted Devin's offer. Shayla hastily wiped the tears from her eyes and called her mom back.