A Heart Decision (23 page)

The three of them stared at him for several tense
moments.

“Well?” Ben’s eyebrows and shoulders rose
simultaneously. “Do you mind giving us a clue what will affect your
decision and when you’re going to make it?”

“I’ll let you know by the first week in December.
But in the meantime, you’d better still plan on marrying her,
because the odds are better that I won’t be.”

Sabrina shoved his shoulder. “Don’t you think it’s
cruel to keep us hanging like that?”

“Yes, but I don’t have any choice because that’s
about how long it will take to be screened for Huntington’s. So, if
I decide to go ahead with it, there’s only a fifty-percent chance
I’ll end up as your groom.”

She did a double take at him. “You’re gonna get
tested?”

“I’m
considering
it.”

Ben clapped his hand on Luke’s shoulder. “I’m sure I
can grease the wheels of the lab to get your results back a lot
sooner than December.”

“I didn’t give that timeframe because it’ll take
that long for the test,” Luke explained. “When my sisters were
screened, they had to be evaluated by a neurologist, and then they
were required to do six weeks of counseling before the lab would
agree to run the test.”

Sabrina nodded. “He’s right. Genetic counselors want
to make sure a patient is asymptomatic, first. And, if he is, that
he’s also emotionally equipped to handle the test result if it
turns out to be unfavorable.”

“Seeing as Luke doesn’t really want to know his
fate, is it possible they’ll refuse to test him?” Annie lowered the
rails on Tyler’s bed and sank onto the edge of the mattress,
holding his hand.

Sabrina shrugged her shoulders and settled into the
seat next to Luke’s wheelchair. “I don’t know.”

“Since I’ve already swallowed my macho pride and
admitted this bad-ass cop is just a big fat ‘fraidy cat—”

“No one thinks you’re a coward,” Ben snapped,
cutting him off.

“Regardless, I refuse to even think about getting
screened unless Sabrina promises to marry you, instead, if I test
positive.”

She glared at him. “You know, you’re still being an
insensitive ass.”

“I know. And I’m sorry.” Luke spread his arms. “But
that’s the deal. If I know I’m going to get sick, I can’t marry
you. So unless you and Ben are willing to print
groom to be
determined
on your wedding invitations, I won’t bother putting
myself through a lot of—”

“You have a deal.” Ben slapped him on the back.

“Don’t
I
get a say about which of you I
marry?” Sabrina’s watery gaze bounced between them.

“No,” they answered together.

“Well, I have news for the two of you.” Sabrina
swiped at the tears shimmering in her eyes. “It’s ultimately my
choice whether I marry
either
of you. Choosing the man to
spend the rest of my life with should be a decision I make with my
heart, not my head.”

“If you feel that way,” Luke said, “then you
understand this is a
heart
decision for me, too.” He glanced
at Annie on the other side of the room and lowered his voice to
barely a whisper to prevent her from hearing. “Brina, I don’t want
to make you a widow almost as soon as I marry you.”

“Come on, Luke! Most patients live fifteen to twenty
years after they become symptomatic, and there are drugs to reduce
the chorea and hyperkinesia. They’re coming up with new treatments
in the field of medicine every day.”

It didn’t matter. If he tested positive, he planned
on taking the easy way out like his dad, long before he became too
incapacitated to put an end to his misery. He would never saddle
anyone he cared about with that duty.

“Exactly. I don’t want to put you, or me, through
fifteen years of hell.”

Ben’s gaze narrowed. “Which are you really afraid
of, Luke? Becoming a burden on Sabrina, or that she’ll prevent you
from ending it all when you’ve had enough?”

“One from column A and one from B. So since I won’t
even be sure I can handle knowing my fate until after I get
counseling, there’s no sense making an appointment unless Sabrina
accepts my terms.”

~*~

He’d given her absolutely no choice but to agree to
his demands. If she didn’t consent to marry Ben in the event Luke
tested positive for HD, she would have zero chance of marrying him.
At least this way, her odds would be fifty-fifty. And as she’d
admitted to Casey only a half hour ago, she really didn’t want to
spend her life alone.

“Fine!” She tossed her hands up, doing her best not
to cry. “Make your damn appointments, and I’ll continue planning
the wedding with three guest lists. Yours, Ben’s, and mine. I just
don’t understand how you can ask your friend to bear the
humiliation when and if I marry his best man instead of him.”

Luke turned to Ben. “Will that be a problem for
you?”

“Do I have an alternative?”

“Yes. Just say the word, and I’ll skip the testing
and remain the best man. Or we could all just fly to Vegas on
Christmas Eve for a small private wedding,” Luke suggested as an
alternative, “and then hold a reception at a later date after you
know who your husband is.”

“No,” Ben said emphatically. “I have no desire to
have some tacky Elvis impersonator officiate the ceremony. I want
to give Sabrina the wedding of her dreams.” He squeezed Luke’s
shoulder. “If necessary, I can live with publicly stepping aside
for you. But you have to let me give you your honeymoon as a
wedding gift. It’ll already be bought and paid for, so you might as
well use it.”

She and Luke could never begin to afford the kind of
wedding trip Ben had, no doubt, planned. When Tyler married Annie,
Ben had booked a luxury four-bedroom Presidential condominium in
Disney World for their family honeymoon and given them an
all-expenses paid vacation, including Thomas’s services as their
butler, chauffeur, and babysitter.

Tyler would’ve had a fit if he knew how many
charitable giveaways Ben had sponsored, and the strings he’d pulled
to secure an exclusive reservation for a night in Cinderella’s
castle—
that, supposedly, money couldn’t buy
—as a special
treat for Mandy and Noah.

Luke took her hand and pressed a kiss to it. “It’s a
deal. Anything to make her happy.”

“
Oh, just shut the hell up and kiss her,
already
.”

Their mouths all dropped open as Annie turned on the
bed to stare at Tyler whose eyes were still closed. She stretched
out on the mattress, burying her face in his neck. “Did you just
say something?”

Luke hoisted himself out of the wheelchair, hopped
to the side of the bed, and bent over Tyler. “Are you awake,
jackass?”

Sabrina shoved his shoulder, nearly knocking him off
balance. “Is that any way to talk to a man coming out of a
coma?”

“Yeah. He scared the crap out of us for two
days.”

“Please, sweetheart, say something more,” Annie
pleaded. “Just a few words.”

Tyler breathed out in a weak whisper, “I love you,
baby.”

The deluge of kisses she rained over his face
suggested those were exactly the words she wanted to hear.

“Come on, you two.” Sabrina huffed at the puppies
leisurely sniffing around the rosebushes bordering the dark
backyard. “I’m exhausted.”

The scent of the flowers hung in the muggy night air
like a heavy perfume. Thunder rumbled in the distance, sending the
dogs scampering toward the kitchen door. It amazed her how a day
could start so badly and end so wonderfully.

The doctor had examined Tyler that afternoon and
announced that, barring any complications and with a little
physical therapy, her brother would probably make a full
recovery.

Add to that, if all went well, the man she loved
would soon be her husband. Everything was almost perfect. Or so one
would think.

Strangely enough, though, ever since Luke had agreed
to consider having the Huntington’s screening, a dark cloud had
settled over her. What if he tested positive? Despite urging him to
get tested, now she wasn’t so sure
she
could handle knowing
his fate.

Gnawing on her lower lip, she locked the backdoor
and put Dusty and Mopsy in their crates. Now she understood how
Luke had felt when he’d said it was easier to live in hope than to
know the truth and spend life dreading the future.

When she strolled into the bedroom a few minutes
later, she found him perched on the edge of the mattress, fully
dressed.

Sabrina smiled down at him. “I was afraid, with as
little sleep as you’ve had the last two days, you might have conked
out.”

“We need to talk.”

She stood in front of him and ran her fingers
through his hair. “Haven’t we done enough talking for one day?”

“Not quite. I love you, and I want a lifetime with
you more than I want my next breath, Brina. But we can’t sleep
together again until I’m sure you won’t be marrying Ben.”

Tears stung her eyes as she thought about how little
time she’d had with him. She hugged him close and pressed her face
to the top of his head. “What are you saying?”

“I’m kicking you out tomorrow.” He pushed her back a
step and gazed up at her.

“Look, if you want to back out of having the test,
I’m okay—”

“I don’t. Or, at least right now, I think I want to
go through with it.” He studied her face. “You sound as if maybe
you no longer want me to have the test.”

She closed her eyes, avoiding his gaze. “I’m not
sure. I’d like reassurance you’re going to be okay. But....I now
also understand how an absence of hope could end up stealing so
much joy from our lives. I’d give anything to be your wife, but
Tyler’s accident taught me the future isn’t guaranteed to any of
us, so why worry about it? We need to just take each day as it
comes and live it to the full—”

“No.” He flopped back on the bed, pulling her down
beside him. “My terms still stand. If I test positive, you’re
marrying Ben. But while I was sitting here waiting for you, I
realized, if I were Ben, I’d be going nuts right now, imagining you
in bed with me.”

“If you were
Ben
, I wouldn’t be sleeping with
you
.”

“Smartass.” He smacked her on the fanny. “Seriously,
Brina. I can’t torture BJ like that for the next few months.
Especially considering he’s willing to step aside for me. I refuse
to make love to you again unless I can give you everything he
can.”

She drew circles on the center of his chest with her
finger. “And exactly how are you planning to afford to do that on a
detective’s salary?”

“I don’t mean financially, and you know it. We’re
done in the bedroom unless I can offer you an optimistic future
that includes a family.”

She swallowed hard past the lump in her throat and
forced a grin. “That still leaves at least fifty other places I can
think of to make love. And that’s after eliminating all the kinky
public locations.”

He released a soft snort. “As if you’d ever be
willing to have sex in public.”

“There’s a lot of things I might do if they were the
only way I could be with you.”

He silently shook his head.

“I understand. Your loyalty is one of the things I
love about you.” She just wished she’d known when they made love
together two days ago that it might be the very last time ever.
“Will you at least hold me and let me sleep with you tonight? Just
sleep, nothing else.”

“Sure.” He squeezed her tightly. “Although, I’m not
so sure I’ll sleep much if you’re in my arms.”

~*~

Sabrina didn’t stir until nearly nine the next
morning when the puppies’ barking downstairs woke her. The deep
steady tempo of Luke’s breath in her ear told her he was still fast
asleep. They’d lain awake together until nearly two a.m. while he’d
shared so many things she hadn’t known about his career. He’d told
her about his training at the police academy, his past undercover
work on several RICO cases in conjunction with the FBI, and
fascinating stories involving his current assignment to the
county’s special investigation unit.

The puppies barked again, this time more
insistently.

Those poor babies. She should’ve gotten up and let
them out earlier. She eased herself out from under Luke’s arm and
pulled on her robe.

As soon as she took the dogs out and fed them, she
made a strong pot of coffee. A second after she filled a steaming
mug, Luke steered his wheelchair into the kitchen. “I hope you made
enough for me.”

“Of course. If you’re as exhausted as I am, you’ll
need it.” She smiled and poured him a cup. “You know, if you were
trying to make it easier to marry Ben by not making love last
night, sharing all of your secrets with me was a lousy way to do
it.”

“I’m sorry I kept you awake. I should’ve insisted
you sleep in the guest room.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.” She wouldn’t have missed last
night for anything. “I could always stay a few more weeks. In the
guestroom, of course.”

“No. You’re leaving today. My wrist feels good
enough to use the crutches for short distances.”

“How do you plan to get around? You can’t drive your
SUV.”

“I phoned Cal right before I came downstairs. He’s
willing to lend me his car and drive my Jeep until the doctor
removes my cast.”

“And what about all the things you have trouble
doing for yourself?”

“Such as?”

“Like carrying groceries or the laundry basket. Or
just getting your dinner plate from the stove to the table. You
can’t do that on crutches.”

“My mother and sisters will take turns coming by to
help out every few days. And if they can’t, I’m sure my Explorers
will volunteer.”

He had an answer for everything.

“However, there are two last things you can do for
me before you leave. I need you to take me to visit my mother
today. I want to talk to her about the Huntington’s screening.”