A Healing Heart (22 page)

Taking the package carefully from me, he began to untie the ribbon. “I know I will because it came from you.”

“
I didn’t really know what to get you. I figured you could use a new car, but that was a little out of my price range.”

That made him laugh. “Yes, I could use a new car. I think I’ve found one, by the way. It’s another Camaro, the same year I had before; this one is burgundy, though, instead of white.”

“
Yeah, I guess you better hurry up and get a new one, since you’re going to be spending a lot of time on the road,” I said, trying to keep my tone light and teasing.

Collin ripped the paper off the album. The cover had a picture of us standing in front of the castle at Disneyland; it was one of my favorites, a constant reminder of how everything had felt like a fairy tale for me. Carefully, Collin began flipping through the album. Pictures from our Disneyland trip, the park with Lacey and Riley, our trip to the beach, and my birthday were interspersed with random shots from school. I sat there quietly, watching the expressions flicker across his face. When he reached the last page and the note I had written, I saw his eyes get watery. It was one of the few times I’d ever seen him get teary eyed. He was usually so in control of his emotions.

“
Thank you, sweetie, I think this is one of the best gifts ever.”

He set down the album and leaned over, his hands resting on the sides of my face as he pulled me to him. His lips took possession of mine, at first kissing them gently but building in intensity. As always, I immediately responded to his touch with tingling throughout my body and butterflies fluttering through my stomach. My hands wrapped around his neck, tangling in his hair. Our emotions were spinning out of control fast when he pulled back, breathless. I didn’t want him to stop.

We spent the day together, just us, with me snuggled against Collin’s side. We were content to just be with each other, even if it was only watching TV. I pushed all thoughts of his leaving out of my mind; I would deal with it later. Right now I was focused on spending every minute I could with Collin over the next couple of weeks.

* * *

The day I’d been dreading had arrived. Sleep had evaded me throughout the night, and I knew my eyes would be red because they were already burning. I had spent every minute I could with Collin during the past two weeks. Sitting in his room helping him pack, though, had been one of the hardest things I’d ever done. The boxes made it all more real, and I just wanted it all to go away.

Collin’s family would be leaving on their journey after lunch. I wanted to get over there as quickly as I could this morning so that I could spend every minute possible with him. Knowing it was a waste to put much makeup on, I rushed to get ready. After putting my hair in a ponytail and getting dressed in jean shorts, a blue T-shirt, and my tennis shoes, I left the house.

The drive to Collin’s was mercifully short and I was soon pulling up in front of his house. The moving truck was still in the driveway, and it looked like they were loading the last of the boxes. Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of my car and went to the front door.

Collin met me on the front steps,wrapping me in his arms.

“
Good morning, sweetheart.”

“
It may be morning, but it’s not a very good one,” I mumbled into his chest.

Pulling back from me, he looked deep into my eyes. His fingers brushed back a few strands of hair from my face that had come loose from their binding.

“
I know.”

I buried my head against his chest again and just stood there in his arms, never wanting to leave.

“
Come on, let’s get inside.”

Keeping his arm around my waist, he guided me into the mostly empty house. Lacey was sitting on the family room floor with crayons and a coloring book. Spying me as we entered, she jumped up and ran toward us. I caught her in my arms, picked her up, and hugged her tightly. She was such a darling little girl, and I had grown to love her. Lacey had been through moves so many times before that this seemed normal to her.

“
Hey, Lacey.”

I tried to be cheerful for her, knowing that it was still hard for her to grasp the concept of distance and how things would change after they moved. She had mentioned several times about having play dates with Riley. The two kids had said their goodbyes at the park yesterday, both unaware that it would be a long time before they would see each other again, if at all. To them, yesterday was just like any other day.

“
Hi, Bailey. You’re going to visit us all the time, right?”

Looking into her sweet face, so full of innocence, made my heart catch. “I’ll try, honey, I promise.”

Seeming to accept that answer, Lacey ran back to her coloring, somewhat oblivious to all the commotion around her. Collin pulled me up to his room where he was finishing the last of his packing. Entering his bare room was difficult: all of his furniture was gone, and only a couple of boxes remained in the center of the room with a pile of clothes sitting next to them. I sat down cross-legged in front of the clothes, folding and placing them in the box nearest to me. Collin sat down next to me, our arms brushing slightly. Sitting on the floor was difficult for him with his cast still in place, but he managed.

“
Bailey, you don’t have to fold those.”

“
I need to do something, Collin. I can’t just sit here, I’ll go crazy.”

“
Okay.”

We sat there in silence as we finished up the pile of clothes and taped the boxes shut, labeling them with a black marker. It was pure agony for me knowing that our time was quickly running out. When we were done, Collin pulled himself up and then reached his hand down to help me up.

“
I’ll carry these last boxes downstairs, then let’s go sit out on the porch swing for a bit, okay?”

“
Okay.” Grabbing the smaller box, I followed behind.

Jared was downstairs when we entered the family room.

“
Hi, Bailey, good to see you again. Thanks for helping us over the past couple of weeks.”

“
You’re welcome.”

I tried to smile. I knew he wasn’t just being polite and that he was genuinely grateful, but helping them pack was the very last thing I wanted to be doing. Instead I just wanted to yell at him, Why? Why are you taking away the best thing in my life?! Keeping my thoughts to myself, I followed Collin out the door and cuddled up on the swing next to him. His arm wrapped around my shoulder, and I leaned against his side.

“
I don’t think I’ll be able to get back this weekend, but I promise I’ll come the following weekend.”

“
Okay.”

“
I’ll get the computer hooked up right away so we can talk on it through the web cam.”

I nodded in agreement; words were too difficult for me right now. Every second I felt like I was going to burst into tears and never stop. Not being able to see him every day was going to be one of the hardest things for me. We both had installed programs on our computers so that we could see each other through the monitors, but it wouldn’t be the same.

The minutes slipped into hours, and before long, it was lunchtime. The moving truck had already departed, and the last items were being loaded in the cars. Jared had ordered pizza, and the four of us sat on the porch eating. Lacey chatted away, but I only caught a few things she was saying. Collin was watching me intently, concern evident in his eyes. Trying to force down the pizza wasn’t working; it seemed to get caught in my throat. Pieces that did make it to my stomach felt like they were going to come right back up. I swallowed soda in a feeble attempt to keep my stomach settled. Too quickly, lunch was finished, and I helped pick up, throwing away my half-eaten slice of pizza.

The agony of goodbyes was approaching, and I hoped I would be able to get through them. Lacey had gathered her doll and blankets and packed them in the car. The house had been cleaned up, and a last walk-through revealed everything had been removed. Doors were locked, and everyone gathered at the cars.

Jared walked over to me; he began to reach out his hand to shake mine, but then seemed to change his mind and instead leaned over and hugged me.

“
You are a very special young lady, Bailey. I’m glad my kids got to know you. You will always be welcome in our house, anytime.”

“
Thanks, Jared.”

Lacey was next, and I scooped her up in my arms and kissed her on the forehead.

“
You be a good girl, okay? And take care of Collin for me. I’ll come see you as soon as I can. I love you.”

“
Okay, and you’ll bring Riley too?”

“
Umm...we’ll have to see.” I pasted on a smile as I looked down into her eager face.

Jared stepped up then and took Lacey to the car to buckle her in.

“
Collin, I’ll drive around the corner to give you guys some privacy.”

“
Thanks, Dad.”

Collin’s hand found mine and we walked slowly to his new car that was sitting in the driveway. He’d been able to find another Camaro, so close in appearance to the one that was totaled. This one was a year newer, but still needed some work. We were at the driver’s side; I leaned my back against the door, Collin in front of me. His arms wound around my waist pulling me closer, his eyes piercing mine with such intensity I thought my body would burst into flames. His right hand reached up to my left cheek, holding my face gently.

“
I love you, more than I ever thought possible. I will always be here for you.”

I wanted to say something like, “Well, you won’t actually be but I knew it was childish. My eyes filled with the tears I could no longer hold back, and they poured down my face. “I love you too, Collin. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you here.”
here
for me,”

“
This is only temporary, sweetie. I promise. I will come see you as often as I can. Nothing can keep me from you now that I’ve found you.”

Looking deep into the blue depths of his eyes, I could see he was starting to lose his composure. His eyes were filling with tears, too; when a few slipped down his cheeks, it was my complete undoing.

“
Oh, Collin.”

Sobbing, I buried my head in his chest. My arms wrapped around his back pulling him as tightly to me as I could, clinging to him for dear life. He rested his chin on top of my head, his arms wrapped around me, embracing me just as tightly. Then, kissing the top of my head, he slowly pulled me back, his hands holding my face just inches from his.

My hands reached up to gently wipe the tears from his face, the emotion between us so strong. We were connected in a way I never thought was possible. His lips captured mine, the kiss full of love and pain. Gently, and then more intensely, it was not like our other kisses; it was full of sorrow and goodbyes. Neither of us wanted to stop, but eventually, Collin broke the kiss, backing away slightly. Still close enough that our foreheads touched, his nose rubbed slightly against mine, his fingers brushing aside the tears from my face.

“
I love you, my sweet Bailey. I’ll see you soon.”

“
I love you too, so much it hurts. Please drive safe.”

“
I will. I’ll call you when I get to Vegas, okay?”

“
Okay.”

I leaned into him for one last hug and one last kiss. He turned me so that he could slip into his car. I stood alone as he started the car and slowly backed up. Stopping as he reached the end of the driveway, he waved. Waving back, the tears continued to stream from my face. I knew the next year was going to be one of the hardest. Standing there I watched his car until it turned the corner and was out of my sight. Unaware of how long I stood there staring down the street crying, I finally yanked myself out of the haze, went to my car, and numbly drove back home.

Reaching the house, I went straight to my room, not wanting to run into anyone. I threw myself on the unmade bed, curled up, and cried. Still wallowing in my pain and oblivious to the sounds in the house, I was unaware that Mia and Natasha had entered my room until they were sitting down on my bed. When I realized they were there and finally pushed myself up to a seated position on the bed, Mia leaned over and hugged me. I was lucky to have such great friends and knew they would help me get through this somehow.

~ Collin ~

Driving along the endless highway with nothing but desert in my view, my thoughts ran over the events of the morning. My chest was still aching from the pain as my heart was ripped apart watching Bailey throughout the morning. I could see through her pretense, trying so hard to be strong. Her eyes gave away her real feelings, so easy to read. I knew how deeply she was hurting. This move wasn’t going to be easy for either of us.

Bailey had come crashing into my life so unexpectedly. She had somehow completely taken over every aspect. It was hard to remember what life had been like without her in it. Every minute I was separated from her was going to be agony.

The morning had slipped by much too quickly, and as I had stood there with Bailey in my arms saying goodbye, I didn’t know if I could actually drive away. The love I felt for her ran deep, making me feel out of control, as if I was no longer in charge of my own destiny.

I worried about her; I knew she wasn’t sleeping well at night again. The shadows under her eyes were a testimony to that fact, even though she denied it every time I asked her.