A Handful of Wolf (14 page)

*

Sasha held his breath and waited to see if Megan would answer. He knew there was something more to her distress, more than just a simple joke between workmates. It was painfully apparent he’d really hurt her and it tore at him. Perhaps this Ryan was the key?

She hesitated, and his chest tightened. What had happened? He closed his free hand over their clasped ones. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.” She hung her head, teeth worrying at her lower lip and he gave her another gentle squeeze. “
Cariad
?”

“Don’t call me that.” The rebuke was soft; she sounded unsure of herself.

“Just tell me.” He wanted to hold her, wrap his arms around her and promise that everything would be okay, but he waited. This was big and important.

“What the hell.” Megan blew out a long breath. “He was my first boyfriend, even though he wasn’t my type. He was like you.” She looked up at Sasha and the pain in her eyes made his gut cramp.

“Like me?” Her boyfriend was a shifter? That would explain a lot.

“Yeah.” She scrubbed at her face. “Cocky. Confident.” Her lip wobbled. “I can tell you, because you’re not really
you
. And you’ll never know what I said.” His head was spinning, just trying to keep up. “He made it clear he wanted me, and even though I knew it was too good to be true, I gave in.”

Another sigh. “Just like you.” He waited, and squeezed her hand to get her started again. Having her sitting so close, yet emotionally so far apart, was crippling him. He had to make her see sense. She had to understand that hurting her was the last thing he ever wanted to do. Whatever it took to make up to her, he’d do it.

Megan gave herself a little shake. “So yeah, we slept together. It was my first time and it was a big deal for me. You know?” He nodded, but didn’t speak. “And I thought he was my boyfriend. But he wasn’t.” Okay, she’d lost him again. She yawned now, and another fear crept into his chest. If she drifted from this dreaming state to deep sleep, he’d lose the connection with her.

“I don’t understand, baby.”

“He had a bet going with his mates. See how many girls he could fuck in one term, and they got extra points for virgins. That’s all I was, Sasha. A fat virgin.”

Christ
, it all made sense now. The stupid bet with Dion seemed ugly. And as for her first boyfriend…A wild fury gathered round Sasha and settled inside him as a hard, cold ball. He’d make that bastard pay. Ripping off his dick and shoving it down his throat felt like too kind a punishment. His wolf snapped and roared inside him. It wanted blood. A soft sob dragged him right back to the present, and the girl in pieces beside him. Unable to stay away any longer, he took her into his arms and held tight. She resisted for a second, then snuggled into him, her entire body quaking. So soft, the feel of her hair and the sweet perfume of her skin tied him in knots. She really thought he’d walk away from her? She had a lot to learn about him.

“Megan, listen to me. I would
never
treat you like that. You were never just a bet. Right from the first kiss I knew you were mine. Dion’s game means nothing.” She tried to pull back but he held her firm. This had to be resolved now, before it festered any further. “When you asked me what I’d been hiding, what I hadn’t told you, I thought you meant
me
. That I’m a shifter. I thought someone had told you, and I didn’t want to have that conversation there. I asked you to go home with me so that we could talk about it.”

Silence greeted him. Had she fallen asleep? No, for he’d have lost her. He pressed a kiss onto her hair, her scent driving him crazy. “Megan?
Cariad
?”

*

Megan giggled. It was possibly the funniest thing she’d ever heard. Where had her subconscious dug this up from?

“Hey, what’s so funny?” He sounded indignant, and for some reason, that just made her laugh even more.

“If I ever see you again, Sasha, which by the way I’m not planning to do, I might tell you about this dream. I know I’m obsessed with wolves, but this is extreme.”

“It’s not a joke.”

“No, of course not. Werewolves exist, and vampires, and the little fairies at the bottom of the garden. If you’re really a werewolf, shouldn’t you be howling to a full moon or something?”

“Wolf
shifter
. Werewolves don’t exist.”

“Yeah, right.” She wriggled into a more comfortable position and nestled close to him, her head pillowed on his chest. “Whatever story I’ve made up for you, it’s funny. I’ll miss you, Sasha.”

“You don’t have to.” His voice rumbled softly over her head. “Call me back, let’s talk about this when you’re awake. I have so much to tell you. I love you, Megan.”

It was only a dream. It didn’t matter what she said. “I thought I loved you too, Sasha.” She closed her eyes, soothed by the warm sunshine and the steady beat of his heart.

When Megan opened her eyes again, she found herself sprawled on Nessa’s sofa, weak sunlight slipping through a crack in the curtains and a raging hangover waiting in the wings. She groaned and closed her eyes again, trying to fall back asleep. She needed aspirin and coffee. Dear God, this was two nights in a row she’d been wasted.
I should have been waking up with Sasha right now.
She shoved
that
train of thought back and neatly side stepped it. The dream had been weird. He’d been so insistent she call him, as if that was really going to happen. Nope. She’d seen the last of Sasha Llewellyn and his dazzling eyes and gorgeous dimple. She wasn’t falling for his lies again.

Megan’s voice rang in Sasha’s head all night.
I thought I loved you too
. Her words should have given him hope, but they felt more like goodbye. He spent a sleepless night pacing up and down, trying to sneak into her dreams again but missing her. If she’d been drinking, she’d be more likely to stay in deep sleep and he couldn’t follow her there. By the time morning came, he was stressed, tired and fed up with the world.

He snatched his phone up when it rang, hoping it would be Megan, but it was Jake. The heavy snow in Wales was affecting communications and his cousin didn’t know how long the phone line would be available for. There was one glimmer of good news though.

“Tammy’s fine. She thinks it’s a rumbling appendix, which looks like it’s settled down again. She asked me to tell you she’s lost her phone in the snow, and she’s sorry for worrying you.”

“Thanks.” One less thing to worry about, but there was still the matter of the rogue wolf. He briefed Jake quickly and heard his Alpha’s outrage down the line.

“I hate to ask you, Sash, but can you speak to Connor? I don’t know if I’ll get through. And be careful, little cousin. Watch your back.”

What were the chances of Connor calling him back? Close to nil, but he made the call and left a polite message, then paced up and down some more. How to find Megan? He sent Dion a text asking to borrow Bessie again and then sat back and waited. He couldn’t even go out for a run in case his phone rang. Even though it was mid-morning, he decided to try Megan’s sleeping state again. She’d probably be up by now, having breakfast, telling her Hellspawn brothers what a prick he’d been, but he’d try anyway.

He sat on the sofa, made himself comfortable, closed his eyes and opened his mind to Megan.

There she was. She sat on a patch of lush, green grass, leaning against a giant oak tree. Dappled sunlight filtered through the canopy to dance around her bare feet and his eyes were drawn to her rainbow colored toenails. Each toe had been painted a different color and they sparkled like gemstones when they caught the sun. Her eyes were closed but her fingers tapped a gentle rhythm on the grass. Sasha breathed a sigh of relief. He’d found her.

“
Cariad
.” She opened her eyes at his voice.

“Sasha. What are you doing here?” She didn’t sound annoyed and so he dropped to the grass beside her.

“I came to see you, of course.

*

Megan couldn’t help smiling at Sasha. Dream-Sasha was a safe and appealing alternative to the real one.
I can say anything to you
. “I wanted to be waking up next to you. And here you are.”

“And here I am,” he echoed. “What would you have done, if you had? Would I be safe?”

“It’s me that’s not safe. You’re the one that turns into a big, bad wolf.”

He looked offended, but his eyes crinkled with mischief. “I thought you liked stroking my fur.” He stood and dropped onto all fours, then moved toward her and smiled. Was he going to kiss her? A shimmer of rainbow sparks danced in the air and there he was as a wolf again. The change took her breath away. So beautiful. He nudged at her hand and laughing in sheer delight, she fussed him, digging her fingers through his thick coat and stroking his ears. He yipped and pawed at the ground, the big doggy smile back again.

“You want me to get up?” He backed up a step, as though inviting her to follow. “Go with you?” The cheerful
yip
was a clear yes, and she scrambled to her feet, amused. Dream-Sasha was as much fun as the real thing. He barked now and tossed his head, dancing across the grass and she pretended to make a grab. He circled round, she tried to catch him, and then he took off. He ran a few steps into the woodland, before pausing, and watching over his shoulder. It was definitely a game.

She skittered in the opposite direction and with a joy filled bark, he chased, to bound alongside her. Like in her recurring dream, only in that, there were lots of wolves and not just one. She ran and dodged, laughing and pretending to hide, until breathless she flopped to the ground to sprawl on the soft grass. “Enough,” she gasped, feeling her heart pounding and pulse racing. “I need a rest.” The wolf stood over her, one huge paw resting on her chest—
her heart
—and then in a flurry of sparkles, a naked Dream-Sasha appeared. He boxed her in with his knees, one hand on the grass next to her shoulder, the other covering her breast.

There wasn’t enough air in her lungs. “You’re naked again,” she squeaked.

Dream-Sasha slowly looked down and then back to her. “Wow, when did that happen?”

Why did he have to be like this? Why couldn’t she dream of him being horrid, tricking her and lying to her? Instead, everything he did and said made her still want him. She couldn’t look at his body. She’d weaken and want to touch it, and even though this was only a dream, she didn’t want to go there. His dangling necklace caught her eye and she touched the pendant with her fingertip, watching the black stone swaying gently. “You still have your necklace on.”

“I never take it off.” His voice was husky. “When I shift, it stays on.”

Keep the conversation going.
Anything to avoid the very real temptation of kissing him. “Do you do that often?”

“What, shift?” She nodded. “Every day if I can. It’s not easy here, there are too many hunters.” His hand caressed her breast and he idly flicked his thumb over her nipple. She sucked in a breath. “I don’t want to be used for target practice.” Of its own accord, her nipple firmed and her breast pushed up into his hand. He smelled wholesome and clean, like pine forests after rain, and his scent was seriously messing with her self-control. Should she kiss him?
It’s not real. He’ll never know
.

Heat poured from his body and warmed every inch of her. One last kiss to remember him by, she’d take that. Right now, in her magical dream-world, Sasha was lovely and playful, and she could forgive him anything. All too soon she’d be awake and angry with him again. Her decision made, Megan lifted her head and sought his mouth. His smile was brilliant, his entire face lighting up. There was a heartbeat where they both waited, and then Megan closed the distance and brushed her lips over his.

He took her invitation and returned it with pressure and softness, warm and sweet yet hungry all at once. He licked at her, little flicks of his tongue, teasing her until she opened to let him in. All at once, the tempo changed. Soft turned into greedy and Megan realized she was starving for the taste of him. He filled a space she didn’t know existed and when they kissed she finally felt complete. She curled one hand around his neck, ran the other through his soft hair and held onto him for dear life. She never wanted to let him go.

He stiffened and raised his head as though he heard something, then blinked and blew out a little huff of air. “I have to leave.” He stroked her hair and smoothed an unruly lock away from her face. So gentle, the tenderness was unmistakable. “Call me,
Cariad
. I need to talk to you.”

*

The timing sucked, but Sasha couldn’t afford to leave his ringing phone. “Call me,” he whispered as he dragged himself out of Megan’s dream. He was ten shades of horny right now, her scent and taste all over him, and leaving her hurt like hell. He took a quick calming breath and picked up the phone.
Connor
.

“You wanted to meet. Same bar, half an hour’s time. Don’t be late.” The Alpha hung up before Sasha could even acknowledge the demand, let alone agree to it.
Shit
. The bar was easily twenty minutes from here, and he needed to freshen up first. There was no time to go back to Megan. No time for a shower either, so he splashed water on his face, changed his rumpled T-shirt for a fresh one, and left the house. Dion called him back as he strode along.

“You wanted to borrow Bessie again? We don’t need her tonight, but we have practice tomorrow evening.”

“Yeah, please.” Using the van would make it much easier to get back to Megan’s house. She had to go back home at some point, and he could see her face to face.

“No worries, mate. I owe you fifty bucks anyway. I’ll pay you when I drop off the keys.”

For a second, Sasha didn’t understand. “I don’t want your money, Dee.”

“Sorry, dude. I didn’t think she’d freak quite so much. It was just a bit of fun, you know that. And besides, I have a chick interested in you that will make your jaw drop to the floor. Blonde hair to her waist and tits to die for. She tried to catch you after the gig, but—” At one time Sasha might have been interested. Not anymore.