A Graceful Mess (10 page)

“I said, Parker, fuck me. Fuck me hard. Don’t be scared; I can handle it.”

“No you didn’t!” She giggles like a schoolgirl, fawning over the most popular kid on the playground.

“I did.” I join in, as laughter bellowing from our lungs fills the air around us. “I can’t believe those slutty words left my mouth!”

In reality I can, they did, and I would scream them again if he were here now. Maci sits down on my bed and I follow. The silence between us is suddenly awkward. The mood changed when the laughter stopped and things suddenly feel serious. I know what’s coming.

“So, overall, how was it? Did you, you know…did Brody cross your mind?” His name sends chills down my spine.

Ten, nine, eight…

“Gracie…” My hand flies up in the air, signaling Maci to quit talking. She nods and gets up and heads for the door.

“Maci, wait!” I stop her as huge tears pool in my eyes. She silently walks back to me, sits on the bed, and embraces me. That’s when the floodgates open. I don’t know why I’m crying, but no amount of sniffling is stopping the tears from falling. Just the sound of his
name
is a trigger.

I think for the first time since I was eighteen, I have finally felt alive. I think Parker brought me back to life, and the scary part is that the version of me that was awakened isn’t a Grace anyone knows, but the Grace that has been buried deep within me. His touch unleashed her, and there is no going back now.

Two weeks of following Grace around, lurking in her shadows, have proven to be more challenging than I expected. Two weeks of living hell have passed since I held her sweet body in my arms. Watching her day in and day out, tracking her movements, and documenting her routines have all led me here.

Today I am meeting with her father; “sperm donor” is more like it. He is my client, and a good paying one at that, so I will be on my best behavior, even if I want to reach across the table and strangle his sorry ass. I grab the manila folder out of my drawer as I hear the sounds of pounding on my office door.

“Come in,” I say as I swivel my chair on its axis and turn to face the door as it opens. A tall, dark-haired man is standing in the frame. “Are you my nine o’clock?” I ask. He nods his head as he shuts the door behind him.

“Yes, sir. And you must be Parker Porter?” He strolls to the couch adjacent to my desk, but doesn’t sit down. The swagger that drips off of him is almost sickening. I honestly don’t know if it’s his aftershave or my annoyance with him personally, but either way I just want to get this meeting over with.

Extending my hand to the couch in front of my desk I say, “Have a seat. As you know I am Parker and the head investigator of this site, so I’ve been handling your case. There is really no need for a formal introduction considering I have already done my homework.” I look up to see bright blue eyes staring back at me. For a brief second I am startled. At first glance you couldn’t tell the resemblance between Grace and Mr. Jacobs, but it’s in the eyes. She inherited that feature from her father.

“Are you okay, son? You look like you saw a ghost.”

“Yes, sir. I’m fine. Now, where were we? Oh, yes. So I have been tailing Miss Clearwater for the last two weeks. She is a new grad so she is on summer break, but will be returning in the fall to finish up her degree. She meets up with a brunette girl, who appears to be around the same age, every morning after she runs around Hightower Park.” My throat feels dry as I sit and bluntly lie to my client’s face. It’s more a feeling of guilt than a lie. Knowing she meets up with Maci everyday not only makes me feel like a creep, but also makes me feel like a phony businessman. One would say my motives for watching her have been jumbled. One would be correct. I clear my throat and continue, eager to get this meeting over with.

“It appears she isn’t involved in anything scandalous, especially nothing illegal that would hinder your campaign. But our office will continue to trail her until you tell us otherwise. At that time we will close the assignment and go our separate ways.” He nods, but doesn’t talk. I notice his foot is bouncing up and down. After taking a few psychology classes, I know that’s a sign he is either worried or impatient. Honestly, I feel nervous sitting across from the guy whose daughter I just fucked and then ditched.

“That all sounds good, Parker. It’s okay if I address you as Parker, right?”

“Yes, sir. Of course it is.” He scoots to the edge of the couch, then opens his mouth, but quickly shuts it. I count the seconds of silence lingering between us with every thump of my heart. Since I can remember, I have always worked out; the gym is like my second home. To say I am scared would make me sound like a pussy, but this guy is slightly intimidating. It’s like I am sitting across from Al Capone or some shit. I feel like a mob of built, bald guys wearing suits is going to knock down my door at any moment. He opens his mouth to speak, causing my imagination to put the brakes on the mafia thriller playing in my mind.

“Since we are going to be working together, let’s be honest with each other.”

My jaw clenches shut and I can feel my forearm flexing from the tight ball my fist is in. What do we have to be honest about? Oh, I fucked your daughter two weeks ago. But how in the world could he possibly know that? Through gritted teeth I say, “Porter & Sons is built on honesty, sir.”

“Good. So I am sure you are wondering how I got into this mess. Am I right?”

Shit.

I know how he did it. I read the entire file front to back, but I know he is going to tell me just the same.

“Mr. Jacobs that is none of my business, you hired me to track Miss Clearwater. I understand the importance of the matter and how grave it is to keep her adoption a secret so it does not cause any problems with your campaign…”

“Impressive. You did do your homework. I am happy to see you know what the hell you’re getting into, but let me make myself clear, son. No one – and I mean no one – other than you, your father, and myself know about this. Grace’s mother is dead. She died while giving birth when she was sixteen years old. I was seventeen and about to graduate high school with a full ride to college. What the hell does a single seventeen-year-old boy do with a child? I made the best decision I knew how to make at the time, and I don’t regret it. I love my wife and little girl more than anything in this world. Now if that makes me a coward for hiding Grace, then so be it. That is a personal demon I will have to deal with until the day I die, but I will be damned if a past I tried so hard for years to hide, comes out now. These next few months are the most important months of my life, Parker. You have one job and that is to keep her hidden and fly under the radar while doing it. I will win, and I will have a seat in Congress.”

I nod.

How do you respond to this kind of heartfelt admission? I want to punch the bastard in the face. Not only is he aware that he is lying to the public to get elected, but he doesn’t think he is doing anything wrong, and to top it off he is married and has another daughter. Doesn’t he want her to know she has a sister? Not to mention his poor, fucking wife doesn’t even know who she is married to.

I take a deep breath and stand up. “All right, well I think we are good to go for now.” I reach into my top drawer and grab a cream business card. “Here is my card. It has my cell phone listed. Feel free to call me if needed, but I will be in touch. Our standard practice will include following Miss Clearwater, and if there is anything alarming or something I feel will out you, I will contact you immediately. If not, let’s plan on scheduling another meeting in a few weeks. You can set up a time with Andrea, our receptionist. Do you have any other questions?”

“No, no questions.” He stands and casually puts his hands in his pockets. “Parker, I have seen her. You aren’t the first investigator who I have had follow her. I’ve had her tracked previously. I know she is beautiful. She looks just like her mother. Sophia was a dancer –ballet. Grace used to live in Maine; the first person to track her followed her there and watched her and her family for years. She took dance lessons too. Trust me, there were times I wanted to fly there and bring her back with me, but what was I supposed to do? Interrupt her life, tell her I’m her biological father, and whisk her away with me? I dropped her off at a Catholic Orphanage, for heaven’s sake. She was adopted into a great family, and here I was this newlywed with a knocked-up wife about to start campaigning. The point is she gets her beauty from her mother, and if I knew anything about Sophia it was her desire and will to love. She loved me, and I loved her so deeply. I’ve spent countless nights on my knees praying, and begging for her to forgive me for what I did, but the message in all of this is to stay clear of Grace. Follow her, but keep her at a distance. I promise you, if you get too close you will get burned. I will make sure of that.”

No words come out of my mouth as I watch him turn on his heels and walk away, leaving me speechless.

Did Legislator Mark Jacobs just threaten me?

Even with the lingering threats of her father, I haven’t been able to get her off of my mind for the past week. Following and keeping her at a distance is one thing, but hearing her, looking into those blue eyes in person is another. I know I don’t know much about her, other than what I’ve read from her background check, nothing she willingly told me, but this girl hasn’t left my mind. That alone means something to me, even if we are more or less complete strangers. Fumbling with my phone, I dial her number knowing I shouldn’t. The temptation is there and my willpower fades fast.

Ring, ring, ring.

“Hello?” she says as she picks up the phone. Her timid voice reminds me she doesn’t know it’s me that is calling.

“Hey, sweetheart, is that you?”

Epic fail.

Of course it’s her; I called her. I hope she doesn’t notice my cowardly approach.

“Who is this?”

“Parker.” A few moments of deathly silence pass.

“Parker, Parker?”

“The one and only.” Oh God, now I sound lame. What am I, in high school? For some reason she makes me feel like a little kid again, and she is my first real crush.

“Yeah, Grace, it’s me. How are you?”

“Umm, I’m fine. Just laying out. How about you?” Her voice sounds wary. Maybe she isn’t into me. Maybe that night was just a fuck, simple and to the point with no strings attached. She doesn’t seem like the type, but what do I know? She could have me fooled and be a player herself.

“Not much just left the gym. I was going to see if you wanted to hang out. Grab some ice cream…”

She laughs and the sweet sound makes me grin from ear to fucking ear. “You had me at ice cream. Can you pick me up? Do you even remember where I live?”

“Yeah, I remember. I couldn’t forget if I tried.”

About an hour after we hang up, I pull up to her apartment building. She comes out wearing a little, strapless sundress, with her bathing suit on underneath. My mouth waters just thinking about what’s under the bathing suit. We spend the next few hours sipping on milkshakes at the park, laughing and acting carefree. It feels natural. It feels good, and for a while it fills my fix. Not only is she my new case, but she is now my addiction. As hard as I try to fight it, her face is the only thing I see when I close my eyes. I know it sounds stupid, maybe even a little bizarre, but there is something about this woman that makes me feel like a pussy-whipped, little bitch. I want to be around her, I want to hear the sweet sound of her laughter, and I want to do it when I’m not trailing her. Savoring today is like looking out at the beach on your last day of vacation. You don’t want to leave, but you know you have to. It’s like what I know I want isn’t a possibility. No matter how hard it is to keep her at a safe distance, I have to push down these feelings and bury them. Like in a fucking hurry.