A Good Man (26 page)

“Who is a narcissistic fool,” John interrupted. “She had to speak to Aaron. She had to be polite.”

“Ten hours with that guy.” Justin shook his head. “I can’t stand him for more than a few minutes at a time.”

“I have a good feeling that you and I are safe,” John said. “You don’t want to go back to Philly yet, do you?”

“Nah, man. I’d much rather stay here. It’s twenty-five degrees and snowing in Philly.”

The Crew sat in the great room watching the taped portions from the past week while the lighting and sound crews prepared the driveway for the live elimination. John’s “face time” was shortened to “I’m Arthur?” The foot rubbing and swim lesson footage—both the actual scenes and what was shown to the Crew—were nonexistent. Aaron’s conversation with Sonya at the pool ran in its entirety except for the microphone destruction. Justin’s hot dog–eat-ing stunt lasted five excruciating minutes, a blinking counter marking his progress from one to twenty. Aaron’s win at the obstacle course ran in slow motion.

Justin’s problems at the obstacle course ran in slower motion.

Sonya’s date with Aaron took up fifteen minutes, and while John watched, he felt helpless. He has his hands all over her! And without asking! I asked! I got permission! The way they’ve edited this, I can’t tell if Sonya’s having a good time or not. He’s definitely pawing at her, and the camera only shows her smiling. Aaron is a handsome man, an athlete, young, virile, and doesn’t have nearly as much baggage as I have. What is this I’m feeling? Am I feeling anger? Frustration? Fear? Jazz is smiling at the sunset, but Aaron’s not beside her. That’s a good sign. I should be beside her.

The scene faded to black with Aaron standing in the doorway bleary-eyed, Sonya smiling on the stairs.

No way she smiled, John thought. No way.

When the commercials began, Boogie clapped. “What happened after that, dog?”

Aaron stood. “Y’all know what happened after that. I went up those stairs and got me some.”

Timbo stood and gave him some dap. “What was she like?”

“Oh, man,” Aaron said, “she couldn’t get enough of me.”

“That’s a lie,” Tony said.

“Yeah, man,” Gary said. “You came in here and passed out while we were watching the game.”

“Yeah, man,” Justin said. “Don’t front.”

They should be filming this conversation live, John thought.

“How y’all know what happened later?” Aaron asked. “You weren’t there. We had us a good time.”

Justin shook his head. “Man, you didn’t move from your bed all night. Why you lyin’?”

“How you know I didn’t get some while you were asleep?” Aaron asked.

Tony stood and stretched. “Man, this show is so twisted that the producers would have shown exactly what happened if anything happened at all. They didn’t show what happened because nothing happened.”

“You calling me a liar?” Aaron asked.

Tony nodded. “Yeah, man. You’re a liar.”

“I ain’t lying, yo,” Aaron said.

“On our way to church yesterday,” Gary said, “Jazz told us she had a lousy time with you, dog, and I believe her.”

Aaron shrugged. “She’s just protecting her reputation, yo. She doesn’t want any of y’all to feel bad that I got in there first. And it was good, yo. Tasty and tight.”

And that’s where I come in. “Aaron, that’s enough. There are no cameras to lie to in here.”

Aaron wheeled to face John. “And I told you—”

“Lies,” John interrupted. “I’m your roommate, too, and I don’t sleep, remember? Your stench kept me up all night. Nothing moved except the alcohol evaporating from your body.”

“Why don’t you just shut up when you don’t know what you’re talking about?” Aaron said.

“Jazz had a lousy time on your date,” John said, “and the only reason you don’t know that is because you were drunk off your butt for most of the time you were supposed to be paying attention to her. You can’t remember what happened, can you, Aaron?”

“All I know,” Aaron said, “is that I woke up smelling like her.”

“You nasty,” Justin said. “You woke up smelling like alcohol and your own funk.”

“Get to your marks, gentlemen,” Darius said. “We go live in two minutes.”

Aaron stared at John. “This ain’t over.”

“Nothing is over that has never begun,” John said.

“Why am I even listening to you?” Aaron said. “You’re about to be goin’ back to Butt Crack, Alabama, white boy.” Aaron cocked his head toward Justin. “Either you or that clown.”

“I got your clown, yo,” Justin said, rising to his full six-eight. “Anytime you want to do some clownin’, see me.”

“Justin,” John said quietly, shaking his head. “Let it go.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, walking to the foyer. “Time to let one of you go.”

Lord, John prayed, I don’t ask You for much, but could You make a way? And while You’re doing it, could You maybe, I don’t know, have Aaron fall flat on his arrogant face in front of ten million viewers?

Just askin’.

Amen.

Sonya wore a reasonably sexy lavender dress, lavender flats, a little makeup to cover up the sunburn, and only gold hoop earrings instead of all the previous bling, and when she took her position in front of the Crew, she saw eleven men with suitcases.

Geez, she thought, some of them brought more stuff than I did. And why is Justin looking so sad? Don’t worry, big guy. I got you.

“And now it’s time for the first elimination,” Graham said.

“Tonight we’ll find out who our first punk is. Aaron, because you won the obstacle-course challenge, you’re safe from elimination. Stand by Jazz.”

Oh, Aaron is so smug. And here he is trying to take my hand. The nerve. My eyes put those groping hands behind his back where they belong. If you want to grab some butt, Aaron, grab your own. I’m sure you’ve had lots of practice.

“Jazz, it’s time for you to choose who else is safe from elimination,” Graham said. “If Jazz calls your name, you are still a hunk and have earned the right to stand beside Jazz.”

What? Sonya thought. This is not the way I thought it would go. I just want to dump! Sonya looked up at Kim standing on the balcony. Maybe I should have had you down here with me.

“Jazz, I know it’s a tough decision,” Graham said. “Tell us who else is safe.”

Singling out until the final two are standing up there is so cruel. It does build suspense, though. Make a choice, Sonya. “Gary.”

“Gary, you are a hunk,” Graham said. “Come join your princess.”

Sonya looked up and saw Kim wiggling her hand. So what if Wider Wesley isn’t your type, little girl.

Gary walked to Sonya and only squeezed her hands. “Thanks.”

“Jazz,” Graham said. “Who else is safe?”

“Tony.” Oh, I get two thumbs-up from Kim for that selection. Tony the Tiger, huh?

“Tony, you are a hunk,” Graham said. “Come join your princess.”

Tony came and gave Jazz a little hug. “Thanks.”

“Jazz,” Graham said, “who else is safe?”

And now it’s time to make America say “huh?” It’s show time! Sonya smiled. “Justin.”

A light stand fell, several lights shattering on impact with the driveway. Darius dropped his clipboard. Several of the Crew coughed. Kim shook her head. Aaron seemed to growl.

“Um, Jazz,” Graham said, his eyes blinking rapidly, “are you sure?”

“Positive,” Sonya said. But why isn’t Justin coming to me? He’s probably as shocked as everyone else. “Justin, come on down here and gimme a hug.”

“Um, Jazz, he, um,” Graham stuttered, “he tied for last with Arthur in the obstacle course.”

“I’ve made my choice, Graham,” Sonya said. “Justin is a hunk.”

Justin was in front of her in three huge steps. “Thank you, Jazz.” He picked her up and hugged her. He set her down. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay, Justin,” Sonya said.

Graham practically put his big nose in Sonya’s ear. “But, Jazz—”

“Hush, Graham,” Sonya interrupted. “Completing an obstacle course in the fastest time is not a true indicator of any man’s heart. Justin had the most heart out there, and I guarantee you that he burned the most calories out on that course.”

Justin nodded. “I did. I lost at least three pounds. This jacket fits better now.” He took his place beside Tony.

“There’s more to being a hunk than having athletic ability,” Sonya said. “Justin never gave up, and I have to respect that. A good man never gives up.” She smiled at Graham. “It’s your turn, Graham.”

Graham looked at Darius.

Darius shrugged.

“Um, okay, Jazz,” Graham said, “who else is safe?”

Another easy decision. But why did I make him wait so long? Oh, yeah. He’s trying not to speak to me because of a stupid rule Aaron made. Don’t say the wrong name now. “Arthur.”

A cameraman fell forward, his camera clattering to the ground. Darius slapped his clipboard on his thigh. Several Crew members said or mouthed, “What?” Kim frowned and put one thumb up. Aaron really growled.

“But, Jazz,” Graham whispered tersely, “Arthur came in last, too.”

“Arthur, come to your princess,” Sonya said.

Arthur smiled and drifted down to her.

“Arthur could have easily finished in the middle of the pack, but he proved himself to be a true friend,” Sonya said. “He didn’t leave Justin behind. He didn’t leave a man behind. He took a risk, did the right thing, and he should be rewarded for his loyalty. He’s a team player. I like team players.”

John stood in front of her, his hands behind his back. “My princess.”

No hug? He’s too much of a gentleman sometimes. Sonya stepped forward and hugged John. I knew he was put together well. He has a one-pack, too. And he smells nice. I like his scent.

“Um, Jazz?” Graham asked.

I don’t want to let John go. Shh.

“Jazz?” Graham said. “Who else is safe?”

Sonya stepped back.

John winked.

Sonya blushed.

“Who else is safe, Jazz?” Graham asked.

Sonya looked up to the balcony, mouthing, “Who else?” Kim only shrugged. A princess has gotta do what a princess has gotta do. “That’s … all.”

“What do you mean, that’s all?” Graham asked.

Sonya watched Darius’s clipboard fly off into the night. I can’t believe I’m doing this! “That’s it. The rest of them can go.”

“Jazz,” Graham said, his voice rising in pitch, “you’re only supposed to eliminate one member of the Crew.”

Sonya sighed and walked to where the rest of the Crew stood. The Seven Drunk Dwarves. Hmm. “No offense, fellas, but we didn’t really connect, you know? I barely know any of your names.” It’s time to take a stand. “And I can’t abide any man who drinks, smokes, or parties.” She glanced back at Aaron. “I also can’t stand a man who drinks instead of thinks.” She turned to face the Crew. “You all have such magnificent bodies and hopefully bright futures. Why try to mess any of that up? Take care.”

Graham left his mark and stood beside Jazz. “But, Jazz, you can’t dismiss seven guys in one show.”

Sonya smiled at the nearest camera. “I just did, Graham.”

“Commercial!” Darius bellowed.

And then, chaos reigned on the set of Hunk or Punk. Darius fussed at the camera crew, Graham, and even the limo driver. The seven “gone” Crew members had their hands in the air and cursed whomever was closest. Aaron made a beeline for Larry, who was smiling and chuckling. Tony, Gary, and Justin exchanged a little dap. Only John didn’t move a single muscle.

Bob pushed through the chaos, his face so red it could stop traffic. “You can’t do this!”

“I just did, Bob, and there’s nothing in my contract that says I can’t,” Sonya said. “It says I will eliminate players each week. There’s an s on that word. ‘Players,’ not ‘player.’ And all of them are players.” Even Aaron. Hmm. He’s got to go. If he didn’t win the date, he’d be out of here, too.

Bob puffed up his little chest. “That’s not the way this game is supposed to be played!”

“That’s the way I play this game, Bob, and please stop shouting at me,” Sonya said. She looked at the men she had just dismissed. “Why are they still here?”

Bob ran both of his hands through his hair. “This show is supposed to last a minimum of—”

“I know, I know, Bob,” Sonya interrupted. “And it still might. But you can’t script any of this. It takes some people many months or even years to fall in love. You can’t limit me in the way I feel. What, I’m supposed to love all but one of them every week and call the loser a punk? None of these men are punks. Maybe some weeks I don’t kick anyone off because I can’t decide.”

“And you might clean house again,” Bob said.

True. “I might. But it will make people tune in every week to see what I’ll do next, right?”

Bob started to say something and stopped. “Hmm. I’ll make you a deal.”

“No deals, Bob,” Sonya said. “I have my own mind, and I intend to use it.”

Bob looked around. “Where’s Larry?”

Darius pointed to the mansion.

“Figures he’d run out when all hell is breaking loose,” Bob said. “Could you try to keep these five for a while?”

“I may keep them for six months, and I may tell all but one of them to take a hike next week,” Sonya said.

“Jazz, be reasonable,” Bob said.

“Come on, Bob,” Sonya said. “Loosen up. In real life, women make crazy, impetuous decisions all the time. It’s how we roll. These five standing here are like a basketball team, and I’m the coach. Right now, impetuous me needs them all. Justin’s my center, John’s my point guard, Tony and Gary are my forwards, and Aaron’s …” Well, at least for now. “And Aaron’s my shooting guard.” Who dribbles when he drinks.

Bob stared at the stars. “But you have no one on the bench!”

“I don’t want a bench player, Bob,” Sonya said. She waved at Kim. “Hey, can my sister come down now? It’d make a wonderful end to this episode.”

Bob’s head snapped down. “No!”

“Work with me here, Bob.” She waved Kim down, and Kim zipped inside their room. I hope she changes into something nice. “It will be fine. I know just what to say, too.”

“Miss Richardson,” Bob whispered, “you can’t just—”

“Be myself?” Sonya interrupted. “Isn’t that what you told me to be?”

Larry arrived out of breath but smiling. “Bob, the phone lines are lit up like Christmas. The online blogs are cooking like never before. So far it’s two-to-one in favor of Jazz’s decision. Let me read a few comments.” He looked at a printout. “‘OMG Jazz is the bomb! She no princess, she a queen, yo!’ ‘She chose the same five I would have, even the old white guy.’ ‘Dag, this show is the junk!’ ‘It’s about time somebody put reality in reality TV.’”