A Gathering of Memories (26 page)

“We’ll decide on a date later. You two had better go. Drive carefully, Ross.”

She waved them off from the front porch. As they headed down the street, Mandy had a sudden attack of shyness. It was as if Ross had been able to read her thoughts about being near him next month. It was reason enough to be embarrassed in front of him all over again.

“A penny for them.”

“What?”

Ross smiled—she’d been a hundred miles away. “A penny for your thoughts.”

“They’re not worth that much.”

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”

Oh no,
Mandy thought.
What do I say now?
“And if they’re private?” she said almost meekly.

“Then I would be the last one to invade that privacy,” he assured her kindly. “Let’s talk about the weather.”

“It’s a nice day if it doesn’t rain,” she said obediently.

Ross laughed. He couldn’t help himself. The horse’s ears flicked at the sound. “Mandy, you never stop surprising me.”

“Sweetheart, you outdid yourself.” Silas pushed his chair back and put a hand over his full stomach.

“Don’t forget Carrie and Becca made the pie,” Amy reminded her husband.

“Did you really help, Becca?” her oldest sister wanted to know.

“I cut the apples.” Becca held up a bandaged finger, and everyone at the table groaned and then laughed.

Coffee was served in the living room and Mandy, after carrying the tray in, saw that the only place left was next to Ross
on the sofa. She nearly sat on top of Carrie in an effort to keep from giving him the wrong impression, causing both Carrie and Ross to look at her.

“He doesn’t bite, Mandy,” Carrie said under her breath, and Ross’ chuckle made Mandy’s cheeks flame. Amy’s chair was far enough away to miss the words, but she looked very pointedly at Ross when she came to hand Mandy her coffee. Her look said, “What have you done to embarrass my girl?”

Ross only smiled back at her as she did her best to look stern. The talk very soon turned to the events of the last few days.

“I haven’t got it in for Aaron Marks or anything but a horrendous crime was committed and even if it hadn’t been, the whole thing makes me uncomfortable. You don’t have any objections to my checking into it, do you, Silas?” asked Ross.

“None at all. Like you said, we didn’t know Ward Jackson but it just doesn’t seem like something he’d do.”

The talk moved on to other topics and then Amy said it was the boys’ and Becca’s bedtime. Mandy and Carrie did the honors, even though the boys basically took care of themselves. It gave Amy a chance to tease Ross.

“Alright, Ross Beckett, what did you do to make Mandy blush?”

But to her surprise Ross did not laugh. His look was thoughtful and Silas became alert.

“Amy was kidding, Ross.”

“I know she was, but I’m not myself where Mandy is concerned and you might as well know it.”

“She’s been hurt by so many things, Ross, I—” Amy stopped when she saw that Ross understood her.

“I would never deliberately hurt her. You know that. But sometimes, when feelings are unsettled and a person needs time, well, you end up getting hurt just because your most sensitive emotions are involved.”

“Then things are all over with you and Sarah?”

“Yes, and I was relieved. That tells you just how
over
they are.”

Carrie came into the room then and asked if Ross was going to join them for their evening Bible study. Ross did sit in but as he rode back home on a horse borrowed from the Cameron stables, he couldn’t dispel from his mind the sight of Mandy’s sweet face when she shared the way God was holding her up during this traumatic time. And then the way she walked him outside when he was ready to leave and thanked him for all he’d done. Once again he had wanted to lay the world at her feet. But tonight there had been a difference. Tonight, for the first time, he’d wanted to kiss Amanda Jackson.

“Oh, Lord,” Ross prayed. “I was just telling Amy I wouldn’t hurt Amanda and now I’m actually thinking of doing something that would cut her to the quick if I acted on it without loving her.”

Ross’ heart stayed heavy all the way home and even after he retired. He wondered when his heart had made the change from compassion for Amanda to love and if it really had. And if he did love Amanda, just what was he going to do about it?

“What’s the problem, boys?” Silas stood in the doorway of Levi and Clovis’ room and stared at their stiff backs. They sat side by side on the bed looking out the window, hoping Silas would go away.

He wasn’t about to leave the room without an answer, so he came in and sat on his heels in front of them. It brought him down to eye level and they eventually forced their gaze to his.

“Amy called you to breakfast.”

“We’re sick,” Clovis told him.

“You weren’t sick last night.”

“Well, we’re sick today.” Levi’s chin jutted out aggressively.

“I know you’re not happy that this is the first day of school, but you will watch the way you speak to me, Levi Jackson!” Silas watched the fire drain out of the boy.

“I’m sorry.”

“And I forgive you.” It had taken many strong words, revoked privileges, and one severe spanking to get Levi to this point, and Silas knew he couldn’t love him more if he was a child of his own body.

“Clovis, are you upset about school?” He would stand by Levi, no matter what, and Silas could see that he wasn’t upset.

“I’d rather stay here with you, but I want to learn to read.” Silas smiled at the sincerely spoken words.

“We’ll talk over breakfast.” The words left no argument and Levi filed out the door, his face long. For the first time since being under Silas’ roof, Levi wasn’t hungry. Not even his parents’ death had put him off food. For too many years he’d gone without, but today he did little more than push his breakfast
around. Amy watched him with concern, her gaze moving between her husband and Levi.

“Can you tell me, Levi, what you don’t like about school?”

“I just don’t need to know all that stuff, that’s all. I want to raise horses like you, and I don’t need to know where China is to do that.”

“Well you’re right about that; I’ve never had to go to China. But last month a man underpaid us by fifty dollars. Now you tell me how I would have known that without the math I learned in school.

“Fifty dollars?”

“That’s right—it’s a lot of money. And since Luke and I share in this business together, both our families would have lost. I know school isn’t always fun, but someday you’ll have people depending on you. So right now, you do what you need to do to make sure you’re worth depending on.” Silas hoped the words were on Levi’s level. He prayed that they would make a difference in the boy’s attitude because Levi was going to school whether he wanted to or not.

“The school is closer here, Levi, that’s one nice thing.”

For once Levi didn’t snap at Carrie and tell her she was dumb. Silas had forbade him to use the word. But Silas’ words must have had an effect because Levi was uncharacteristically quiet.

Nothing more was said about school. Amy felt a little bereft as she kissed the three middle children and watched them walk away from the house. Becca would not be six for another few days and with all that had happened during the summer, Silas and Amy had decided to keep her home for another year.

Amy watched the children until they were out of sight. Carrie wore a new dress of pale blue trimmed in white, and the boys had on navy slacks with navy and white plaid shirts. She wondered what they would look like at the end of the day.

Silas watched Amy turn suddenly from the front door and retreat behind the closed door of the bedroom. Mandy offered to go out to the swings with Becca. Silas followed his wife.

“I’m an ingrate, Silas, the biggest there is. God has given us these five wonderful children and still I want more.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you still desiring a baby of your own, Amy.” Another month had come, she’d told him that morning, and though it was easier with the children here, it didn’t diminish the ache inside to conceive and bear life on her own.

“I’m afraid the children will suspect how I feel. I can’t stand the thought that they would think they’re not enough. I do love them with all my heart and praise God for them every day.”

“They’re not going to think that. They know how you love them. Every Christian has hurts and this is one of yours, but you go to God every time and He holds you.”

“I keep thinking about what Mandy shared, you know, about all her mother’s pregnancies. I hurt because I can’t get pregnant, Si, but it’s nothing compared to having eight babies and having to bury three of them.”

“I know, sweetheart. I know.” Silas’ arms were around her in a tender embrace. He’d felt the same way when Mandy had shared during Bible study one night. She and Carrie had been rather accepting of the whole thing, but the news was horrible to Amy. The fact that she was a woman made it more real for her than for Silas, along with her fatigue from the pace of being a mother to five.

“I’ve been thinking about us getting away for a few days. Gram wants Carrie and Mandy to come in this month and help her with the canning. I know Mac and Julia would take the boys, and I’m sure Mark and Sue would love to have Becca. It would just be a few days, over a weekend, but I think we both need it.”

“Oh, Silas, do you really think we could? I mean, you don’t think the kids will feel deserted?”

“Nope. The boys will have Cal and Charlie to fight and play with, and Becca has never seen as many dolls as Mark’s girls have. Carrie and Mandy were already going to stay with Gram. It’s perfect.”

Amy threw her arms around her husband’s neck and squeezed him. “I think you’re wonderful, Silas Cameron.”

“Thank you, Grandma Em.” Mandy spoke the words quietly as she took her place in church. On her way down the aisle, Grandma Em had reached out and given her the diary she left at her house the day she stayed there to rest.

She fingered the small volume lightly and almost wished they were headed home instead of to Grandma Em’s so she could ask Silas to open it for her right away. But then her eye caught the movement of Ross and Pete coming in to take a pew, and the hope that Ross would be at Grandma Em’s for dinner was enough to make her want to stay in town.