A Flicker of Light (20 page)

“And your mother?”

“She died a long time ago; I was just a child. I’m glad she didn’t have to go through this.”

For a while Petra just hung her head. “The police came to tell us something about a murderer on the loose around here, but I don’t believe you could have anything to do with that.”

“I can’t lie to you. I did, but it isn’t what you
think. I’d taken refuge in a
barn. They didn’t see me watching them, but these two boys in Hitler Youth uniforms attacked a mentally retarded girl. I guess she probably lived on the farm. Her screams of terror ripped my heart out. The boys started to rape her. I couldn’t just stand by and let it happen. And I realized if I didn’t kill them, there would be a witness to identify me. So I picked up an axe, the only weapon I could find. At first I couldn’t do it, so I tried to scare them off, but one of them came at me. So I struck him. I guess he died. The other one ran away. For some reason I could not pursue him. It bothers me to think I caused anyone’s death, but I could not stand by and watch them do what they were trying to do. I would kill him again to prevent it.”

Petra stayed silent for a moment as she studied his face. She could find no trace of deception there. His sincerity shone through his emerald green eyes as they glowed with
warmth. She believed him. He had only acted humanely. “I don’t blame you. You did
the right thing.” Suddenly self
conscious, Petra stood up. “I’ll go and get another bottle of sugar water for Hans.”

“Good idea.”

The harvest time approached quickly, and Klaus began to worry about the workers who would come from the camp, along with their SS escort. He feared they would see or hear Aaron and find out that the
Bruchmeiers
harbored a Jew.

“
Siegland
, during the day,
the Jew must go into the cellar,” Hans told her
.

“What about the baby?”

“What about the Jew? If they find him here, we’re doomed.”

Siegland
considered Klaus’
words, knowing he spoke the truth. She agreed to the arrangement to allow Aaron to hide in the cellar during the day and return to the nursery when the SS left to take the prisoners back to the camp. She and Petra would stay with Hans. If his condition grew worse, they would go and bring Aaron back immediately, regardless of the risk. Even this plan carried a great deal of danger, but they could see no other way.

Reluctantly Aaron agreed to go into the cellar before the prisoners arrived each day, and not to come out until they had gone. Petra made sure to completely conceal the door with the hay and straw which served as a disguise.

The prisoners finally arrived to begin the harvest, and Klaus noticed a change. For the last several years at harvest time, the Nazis came with emaciated Jews forced to perform the grueling tasks. This time, instead, the Nazis brought Poles, French, Czechs, and other political prisoners from German-occupied countries. The SS officers explained the reason for the change: The Third Reich had begun to construct their new and entirely Aryan society. Now, the deplorable elements like Jews or Gypsies would be eradicated. But lesser humans, like Poles and Slavs
,
could be trained as workers to serve their rightful Aryan masters.

Klaus did not understand,
“Where are the Jews that you brought before?”

“Eliminated.”

“What does that mean?” Klaus asked.

“Well, in order to perfect the race, we cannot have these kinds of people polluting it. Do you know what I mean?” The SS officer smiled at the ignorant farmer.

“Maybe; I am not sure.
” Klaus answered.

“They are being done away with. It’s best for Germany and the new Reich. It’s essential that it be done.”

Klaus felt the sweat begin to itch on the back of his neck, but he only nodded in agreement.

The SS officer, having wasted enough time with Klaus, turned to a sickly-looking prisoner who lay stretched out on the ground pulling asparagus and shouted, “
M
ach
schnell
!
”

It seemed to Klaus that the SS never left. They arrived early in the morning with the free labor and departed after the sun set. Only once had Aaron come out of the cellar during the day, and that was long after the open army trucks carrying the poor souls from the camps were gone. Even then, Klaus did not speak to him. He opened the trap door
,
and left it th
at way to notify Aaron the Nazi
s had gone and it was safe to come out. When Aaron left the cellar, he went quickly to the nursery to examine the child. Hans did not improve. His condition seemed to worsen daily, causing everyone distress. Then the baby finally stopped crying and just lay still, moaning softly. Aaron knew this was a bad sign. The child had lost his will to fight. By four o’clock that morning, Petra was drained and
exhausted. She had lost the strength to go on. She knelt, crying, by the baby’s crib.

Aaron tried to comfort her,
“Please get some sleep. I’ll be here until morning, and I won’t leave him alone. I’ll stay until I make sure that you’re here with him.”

“I can’t leave him. I can’t. He needs me. Tears covered Petra’s cheeks, and Aaron felt his heart break as he looked at the young mother. He knew the situation had become grave. The child was too young to fight the disease. Slowly, agonizingly, it was claiming his tender
,
young life. Aaron quietly rocked Hans in his arms. The motion seemed to soothe the little one, momentarily easing his pain. Then, just before dawn, the infant stopped breathing. His tiny body had given up the fight. With gentle hands, Aaron lay the baby in his crib and then fell to his knees and wept. He could not remember the last time he had shed tears. He could not even remember if he had cried when Greta had betrayed him, but something about the sight of that tiny body lying lifeless in the crib struck a nerve deep within him and broke him down. Petra heard the noise and raced in. She stood looking at Hans and then at Aaron, but she could no longer cry.

“He’s gone, isn’t he?” she asked.

“Yes,
I’m sorry.”

“I know. I know that you did everything that you could.” Sinking into the chair, Petra took a deep breath and sighed.

“Yes, I did, and the practice of medi
cine certainly makes one humble,
” Aaron said.

The following day Klaus dug a small grave beneath the weeping willow tree at the far end of the farm, and the family, except for Aaron, who could not risk putting the family in peril by leaving in the cella
r, buried the boy. Klaus
made a small gravestone and casket, both covered with carvings of toy soldiers and baby animals. Within the casket he placed all of the toys that he
had
made for the child.

For three days, Daisy refused to eat.

Later that week, Klaus asked
Siegland
to come to their bedroom to talk.

“I know how fond you have become of the Jew, but the fact is he has no place here now and he should go.”

“How can we do this Klaus? He will be killed for sure. After the loss of little Hans I can’t stand to think about any more death.”

“
Siegland
, think about this. If he stays here, we could all be killed. The Nazis will arrest people who harbor Jews. They are considered enemies of the state. Now, you know that I don’t have any bad feelings about them. I don’t know too much about them anyway, but what I do know is that we could be in very serious trouble for this. And I just don’t think it’s worth the risk.”

“Klaus, who are you? I don’t know who you are anymore. It’s not worth the risk to save such a kind man’s life? He’s so young, and to think that we should let him die? How could you do
that, Klaus?” Tears came to
Sie
gland’s
eyes.

“Why do you ask me these things,
Siegland
? I don’t want him to die. You know that. I just know for sure we should not keep him here.”

“I never knew you to be a coward, Klaus.” She left the room quietly and did not close the door.

Klaus picked up the pocket watch that he treasured, the only possession left to him by his father, and in frustration threw it against the wall. The glass cracked into pieces that spread across the floor. Then he sat down on the bed and pounded his fists into the mattress.

Things remained undecided concerning Aaron, until that night. When Aaron came to the house, he told the family that it would be best if he moved along. Then, thanking them for their help, he smiled sadly at Petra and told her how sorry he felt for her loss. Her skin had turned pale and her hair hung limp and lifeless. She had a terrible headache, which she attributed to the ordeal and the loss that she had endured. Petra would be sad to see Aaron go, but of course she realized it would be best. As she went to pack him a basket of food to take with him, she lost consciousness and began to fall. Aaron caught her before she hit the floor, and Klaus helped him carry
her to the sofa where they la
id
her down.
Siegland
began to cry and Klaus stared at Aaron, waiting for an explanation.

Aaron unbuttoned Petra’s white cotton blouse, and for a moment Klaus stiffened his back, appall
ed at such a thing. Then Klaus’
fists balled up at his side, ready to hit the younger man. “What are you doing there?”

Aaron did not respond. Opening the shirt, he revealed the telltale rash that had begun on her chest.

“She has the measles,
” Aaron said.  He felt her head for fever and found her to be warm and damp with sweat. He went into the bathroom and came back with a basin of water and the remainder of the alcohol. Then, with a
washcloth, he began to bathe her face and chest to bring the fever down.
Siegland
stood
next to him,
wringing her hands together as Aaron worked quietly. Klaus stood by, looking on awkwardly with a wrinkled brow.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t
mean to accuse you of anything,
” Klaus said.

Aaron just nodded as he continued to work on Petra. Throughout the day
,
he bathed her as she mumbled, delirious with fever. As she tossed and turned, she c
ried out for her dead child, and
on occasion, for her birth family. Petra was lost in her own dark world. Day after day, Aaron sat by her side whispering soft words of comfort. With an eye dropper, he dribbled water into her mouth as she unknowingly allowed it to slip out the side of her lips. Patiently, he wiped up the dribble and tried again. He knew he must not permit her to dehydrate.
Siegland
and Klaus agreed that Aaron would stay by Petra’s
bedside
. They’d devised a plan that if any of the SS officers came into the house for water or any other reason while they attended the prisoners who worked the land, Aaron would go into the closet and remain quiet until they left. Klaus grew ever more fearful and continued to argue with
Siegland
over Aaron’s presence. He wanted to send him away and find another doctor, but she would not hear of it.
Siegland
knew that the scarcity of doctors would make finding another doctor extremely difficult, and she would not allow Petra to die. Secretly
,
Siegland
felt that Aaron’s absence from the baby during the day had caused the child’s demise. She would not tell this to Klaus because he would be hurt to think that she blamed him. But she also firmly decided that she would not allow this mistake to happen again.

Outside, the prisoners worked long hours in the hot sun. Klaus felt sick as he watched the SS officers strike the exhausted people with rifle butts and clubs. He could not stand up to the SS, and so he became agitated, occasionally fighting with
Siegland
over petty things when he came in at night. The
contents of the
bottle of vodka that they kept for special occasions began to diminish as Klaus washed away the guilt he could not overcome. His pride suffered, and he felt that he’d lost respect in the eyes of his wife.

On a sunny afternoon, one of the SS had intimidated him, making him feel small and inconsequential. The officer looked over the harvest and then he turned to Klaus.

“We expect at least three quarters
of this asparagus crop. I am
sure you would agree, Herr
Bruch
meier
. Of
course you are a good German
,
and would want no trouble with the authorities.” The SS Officer smiled.

“No, of course not.”
Klaus said. The skin on his neck itched and he reached up with his thick calloused fingers to scratch it, not realizing that he had drawn blood.

“
Look there, Herr
Bruch
meier
. Why you are bleeding?”

“I must have scratched an insect bite,” Klaus replied
.