A Fire Within (These Highland Hills, Book 3) (37 page)

Dar's grudging respect for Niall Campbell was but another
reason he didn't want to ride out with Kenneth this night. He had
given Caitlin's brother his word that he wouldn't leave Kilchurn's
environs without his permission.

Yet what Kenneth was asking him to do wasn't Campbell
business or responsibility. It was MacNaghtens', and only MacNaghtens'.

Besides, if Dar were to ask permission to return to his clan,
he would be stepping outside the protective realm of a broken
man. That might well place Niall Campbell in a very difficult,
if not outright dangerous, position.

On many levels, there was no turning back if he left Kilchurn
this night. Though Kenneth couldn't fully understand the extent
of the sacrifice he asked, it was far, far more than just the risking
of Dar's life. Yet Dar also knew his cousin asked it because it was
important. He asked it because they were of the same blood and,
in the Highlands, the love of and commitment to one's clan ran
deep. Very deep.

Ye only imagine ye're free ...

At the time Kenneth had first uttered them, the words had
rammed home, sharp and piercing. As they also did now, in the remembering. His cousin was right. Someone had to challenge
Athe, make the others finally face the truth. Someone had to try,
and keep on trying.

It didn't matter that it might well be a hopeless cause. It didn't
matter that he felt woefully inadequate to assume the mantle of
chieftainship, if he somehow did succeed in winning it. All he
could do was his best, until a better man stepped forward. And
if that better man never did, then so be it. All he could do was
try and, like Niall Campbell, when he faltered and failed, ask
for forgiveness.

His heart heavy, Dar walked from the stable and out into a
warm, starlit, late June night. It was yet several hours until midnight. There were things to do and say, however, before he could
at last depart. And, likely far sooner than Caitlin had expected,
he would now fulfill her request this day.

He needed to speak with Goraidh.

In his concerted efforts to avoid anything to do with the hermit, Dar hadn't learned which room Goraidh had taken in the
servant's sleeping area. Fortunately, he finally found one of the
servants who knew where the older man was quartered. The actual
act of knocking on his door, however, was harder than Dar had
imagined it would be.

Several times, he lifted his fist to Goraidh's door, only to lower
it. At long last, though, disgusted with his cowardice, Dar forced
himself to rap softly on the door. The look on Goraidh's face
when he opened the door almost made Dar's own apprehension
seem comical.

The older man paled. His mouth dropped open and he stood
there, speechless.

They stared at each other for so long Dar's rising impatience
finally overcame his own reticence. "Are ye going to ask me in, or would ye prefer I discuss MacNaghten business out here in
the hall?" he growled.

"Och, aye." The hermit all but jumped back and motioned
him in. "Please, enter, if ye will."

Dar stalked in and turned. Just as soon as Goraidh shut the
door, he indicated that they should both retire to the farthest
corner of his small chamber. The older man hurried over.

"I'll get right to the point," Dar then said, pitching his voice
low. "I need yer help."

Goraidh's eyes widened, but he nodded. "I'll do aught ye want.
Aught, of course, save leave ye."

"Well, in a sense, that's exactly what I'm asking." Dar paused,
struggling with how best to break the news of Feandan's death
to his brother. "Yet brother's dead, murdered byAthe," he finally
blurted out, knowing there wasn't any tactful way to broach such
a painful subject.

The blood drained once more from Goraidh's face. "How?
And, more importantly, why?"

Dar dragged in a deep breath, then proceeded to recount
Kenneth's tale of the events. "Suffice it to say," he finished at last,
"I'm going back with Kenneth. And that's where yer assistance
is needed."

"In accompanying ye two." The hermit nodded his assent. "Ye
know I'll help in whatever way I can."

"On the contrary. I need ye to remain here. At least one of
our family must survive, in case the clan ever regains the sense
it apparently long ago lost. Moreover, I cannot risk informing
Niall Campbell of my intentions to leave Kilchurn this night. It
would ... complicate too many things."

"But he might help ye overcome Athe," Goraidh said. "Indeed, it'd likely please him to no end to recapture the lad. And
that could solve both of yer problems-Athe removed from the
chieftainship once and for all, and yer assurance of surviving."

"Aye, that it would. But it'd also leave Clan MacNaghten without a chief again. For do ye seriously believe they'd have me as
chief, if I betrayed them by dragging the Campbell into this?"

The hermit's shoulders slumped. "Nay, I suppose not. Our
cursed pride would never bear such a humiliation, would it?"

"Nay, it likely wouldn't. Leastwise, not atop all the other humiliations the clan has suffered in the past year."

"I just don't like the idea of ye and Kenneth facing Athe
alone." Goraidh shook his head. "Mayhap if I was there with
ye, though ..."

"There's naught that can be done for it. In case we fail, and
Athe decides to carry out his assassination attempt, the Campbell must be made aware of the plot and be at Hell's Glen to foil
it. It may well be the last service Kenneth and I can do for the
clan-save them from that final and most fatal of all mistakes.
But, to do so, we need yet help."

Goraidh sighed. "Aye, I suppose the Lord has indeed given
each of us the task we're most suited to carry out."

"Fear not," Dar said. "Yers isn't as easy as it may sound. Ye
have to convince Niall Campbell that my unexpected departure
isn't part of some scheme to lure him into an ambush, instead
of the Regent. Any man who breaks his word, like I'm being
forced to do, isn't one most would risk their life on." He expelled
a frustrated breath. "Och, I fear, in the end, all our efforts-and
lives-might yet be wasted."

"Caitlin will believe me. I'll first enlist her aid in convincing
her brother."

Dar considered that a moment, then nodded. "Aye, that might
be the best way." He hesitated. "Would ye tell her something
for me?"

"Aught that ye wish."

Dar hated revealing things of such a personal nature, especially
to a man he still couldn't find it in his heart to forgive. But Go raidh was all he had. And he didn't want Caitlin imagining he had
used her to gain his freedom, or had willingly deserted her.

"Tell her, if ye would, that I'd never leave her save for such a
dire situation. And tell her I was tempted-sorely tempted-not
to do so at any rate. And that I love her and always will."

"I think, in her heart of hearts, she'll know that without me
even having to tell her," the hermit said. "Still, I'll carry yet message to her. I also thank ye for entrusting such a vital thing to me.
I know that if there had been anyone else ye could've picked for
the task, ye would have."

"Mayhap. But I also know, no matter my personal feelings
toward ye, ye'll do yet best for the clan."

A pained disappointment glimmered in the other man's eyes.
"Aye, that I will. I give ye my word."

"Well, it's likely time I was going. I don't want to risk missing
Kenneth." Dar turned, then hesitated as a thought struck him.
"If I succeed in ousting Athe, the Campbell will know by the
lack of MacNaghtens in Hell's Glen two days hence. If so, tell
him I'll be awaiting him at Dundarave. And that, chief or not,
I'll gladly return to Kilchurn to serve out the remaining year I
swore to give him."

Some emotion flared in the hermit's eyes. "I'll tell him. And
I'll tell him, as well, that no matter what the outcome, my son is
a man among men. And that I'm verra, verra proud of him."

Dar looked Goraidh straight in the eye. "Thank ye for that,"
he said at last, fearing that to say more would open the long-held
bastions of his heart.

Instead, without another word, he turned on his heel and
strode from the room.

Caitlin had just finished her breakfast when a knock sounded
on her bedchamber door. As she swallowed the last bite of her
bannock and cheese, then drained her cup of tea, her maidservant
hurried to answer the door. There was a moment of indistinct
conversation, then the woman turned.

"It's the hermit, m'lady," she said, glancing back at Caitlin, who
sat on the window seat, her breakfast tray on her lap. "He says
it's most urgent that he speak with ye. And speak with ye now."

A ripple of premonition passed through Caitlin. Dar. Something had happened with Dar.

"Then show him in, please." As she spoke, Caitlin set the tray
aside and rose.

Goraidh walked in and over to stand before her. "I need to
speak with yet brother, m'lady, and would like ye there when I
do. Will ye come?"

"Now?"

"Aye, now. Time's of the essence."

She eyed him carefully. "This has to do with Dar, doesn't
it?"

He nodded. "With Darach and so much more."

The urgent look in his eyes said it all.

"He's gone, isn't he?"

The answer she dreaded was reluctant but honest. "Aye."

Pain lanced through her. Dar had left without telling her or
taking her with him? How could that be? Time and again, no
matter how hard either of them had tried to the contrary, the
Lord had always brought them back together.

"He'll come back," she said, struggling to believe that herself.
"Ye'll see. He'll come back."

A compassionate understanding gleamed in the older man's
eyes. "If it's the Lord's will, if Darach lives, aye, I too believe he'll
come back. Come back because of ye."

Dar's father touched her cheek. "He told me to tell ye that he'd
have never left ye save for such a dire situation. And even so, he was
sorely tempted not to. And that he loves ye, and always will."

Tears flooded Caitlin's eyes. "I should've gone with him. Things
have always turned out better when we were together."

"Not this time, lass. This time, Darach goes to confront Athe
and will need all his faculties concentrated on that onerous task.
This time, ye would've been a distraction he couldn't afford."
Goraidh managed a wan smile. "He would've been overly concerned with ye and yet safety, instead of with Athe."

She knew Goraidh spoke true, but it was still so hard to let
Dar go alone. If he should die, and the last thing she had ever
said to him had been said in anger .. .

Caitlin expelled a small, resigned breath and nodded. "Let's
be on our way then."

Gathering her skirts, she headed for the door, Goraidh following. As they walked the corridor, Caitlin turned to her companion.

"Though Niall leaves early most morns to see to the day's
tasks," she said, "usually on Sundays, before church, he spends
an extra hour or two with his family in the privacy of their bedchamber. Let's hope he's yet there. If not, it may take us a time
to scour Kilchurn for him."

"I pray that it'll be so this day, m'lady."

They reached the door to Niall and Anne's bedchamber. Caitlin
rapped on the door, hard and urgently. Her impatience grew by
leaps and bounds as she waited for someone to answer, and the
seconds seemed to plod by with maddening slowness. At long
last, though, the door opened. It was Niall.

A quizzical look in his eyes, he stared at them. "And what,
pray tell, is the reason for a visit from the two of ye?" Even as he
asked, something appeared to change in his gaze. "It's Darach,
isn't it? What has he gone and done?"

"What I have to tell ye, m'lord," Goraidh spoke up before
Caitlin could respond, "is best discussed in private. And as soon
as possible."

Niall hesitated, then stood back and swung the door wide
open. "Come in then. Anne's here, but there's naught ye can't
say in her presence."

Caitlin and Goraidh hurried in. Niall closed the door behind
them.

"Annie, we've guests," he called out to his wife.

Brendan in her arms, she stepped from around a dressing
screen. At the sight of the solemn expressions on both Caitlin
and Goraidh's faces, her smile faded.

"What's wrong?" She looked from Caitlin to Goraidh, and
back again. "It's Darach, isn't it?"

Caitlin glanced over at the hermit. "Best ye tell them and be
done with it."

Goraidh drew in a deep breath. "Athe killed his uncle-my
brother-and intends to ambush the Regent on his trip to visit Argyll in less than two days' time. Dar left to try and stop Athe."

"Och, nay," Caitlin whispered. "Athe's surely gone mad, to
plan such a terrible deed. Dar's in even worse straits than first I
imagined."

Anne walked over to join Caitlin. "Come, lass," she said, slip ping her free arm around Caitlin's waist. "Ye look as pale as a
ghost. Come, let's sit down."