A Fine Cauldron Of Fish (4 page)

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Authors: Cornelia Amiri

Tags: #celtic romance paranormal romantic comedy novella vampire funny fantasy

BOOK: A Fine Cauldron Of Fish
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He’s gone, so I might as
well put those on. At least you didn’t take his B is for Big
shorts.” As crazy as the whole thing was, Andrew couldn’t help but
laugh. “He can keep those.”

Margaid chortled along with him. “I
wonder if he can live up to the claim.”


I’m glad you didn’t insist
on finding out.”


I’m your slave now. I
follow your commands. When you say stop, I have to
stop.”


Really? I recall having to
yell stop several times before you actually did.”


Well, my obey-my-master
skills may be a little rusty.”


Oh, a little.” Despite the
fact that he didn’t believe anything she told him, he was having a
lot of fun with this girl. “How many masters have you
had?”


You are the
first.”


Ah, so you were able to
seduce your other victims with no problem.”


No, in my whole life I
never tried to seduce a man and drain his blood before. You’re my
first human. All my male friends have been fey.”


Oh, and you saw me and
thought it would be fine to drain my blood?”


No, it wasn’t because of
you. I decided I had to be a proper
lhiannan shee
. Once I went hunting for
a victim, I picked you because you were there and caught my eye.
Blonde, tall, muscular, once I spotted you I couldn’t look at
anyone else. What made me finally try to do what my kind are
supposed to do was Mannan beg mac y Leir’s threats to turn me into
a water horse.”


Can he really do
that?”


Oh yes. He is skilled at
changing people, and himself, into other things. He’s the god of
transformation.”


I thought he was the god
of the sea.”


He’s the god of
transformation, the sea god and the trickster god.”


I should have known he was
a trickster god. Because based on what I’ve heard of him so far, he
seems like a jester or a fool.”

After a quick intake of breath,
Margaid warned, “You must not criticize the gods. It’s not wise.
Not at all.”


Well this is the guy or
god who wanted you to drain my blood, I’m sure I’m entitled to make
a negative comment or two about him.” Andrew let out a sigh. “That
was strange though. That poor guy you stripped blamed me as if he
really couldn’t see you.”


He couldn’t.”


No, no it’s like he said,
he was just so drunk.”


You think so?”


Yes, did you notice his
tattoos?” He couldn’t help but notice the Celtic symbols. One was
an eye shaped like a fish with a fish tail on the end. “They were
bad ass.”


No, I didn’t see them, I
was too busy taking his clothes off.”

Andrew noticed the building across the
street. “Come here.” He led Margaid there and to the alley behind
it. “Let me try these on. Turn around.”

She did as he asked and he shed his
wet jeans and pulled on the naked man’s pants and blue polo shirt.
“That‘s better, I’m all dry now. But what about you? Your dress is
soaked.”


Don’t worry about me. I
don’t mind, I like water. And no one can see me but you. So it
doesn’t matter.” She was staring at his crotch. “Are those that
man’s pants?”


Yeah, the ones you stole
right off him.” He’d get her to the hospital and they would get her
dry clothes there, a gown are something. She needed help. What else
could he do but take her there.


They fit differently on
you.”


How? What’s wrong?” He
looked down to see what she meant.


Oh, nothing’s wrong. They
seem a little tighter in the right place, that’s all.”

She had that funny expression again.
And she kept starring at his hard on, but he didn’t mind. Not at
all. Andrew grinned as he felt his cock stiffen and enlarge even
more, just from her gaze. He wished he had his contacts so he could
see exactly what she looked like.

Maybe he could take her to the hotel.
Spend his vacation with her. Her breasts were so lush and round.
Even with his bad eyesight he could see that. And her skin so soft.
It had been heaven to be inside her, but no, that wasn’t right. She
needed help. He cleared his throat. “Right. I’m going to help you
get help. The nurses at the hospital will get you into a clean, dry
gown. Then the doctors will help you see you’re not invisible. And
I’ll come and check on you before my vacation’s over. Come on. I
have an important errand I need to run.”

He led her down the street until he
came to a stop in front of a modern style, two story, light-colored
brick building. The large sign out front read Nobles Hospital.
“Here we are. They’ll help you.”

She shrugged.”Help me with
what?”

* * * * *

He took her in through the emergency
entrance and up to the window where a lady intake clerk in blue
scrubs greeted them.


Andrew, they’re going to
help me do what?”


Just a moment.” Holding
his hand up to Margaid, he nodded at the admittance
clerk.


Very well sir, tell me
when you’re ready.”


No, I don’t mean
you.”

The lady shifted her eyes back and
forth. “Of course you didn’t and how may I help you?”


This girl right here needs
some help.”

The clerk’s eyes arched and she bore
her gaze into Andrew.


She can’t see me. I told
you, no one can see me but you.”

He smiled at Margaid so she would know
everything was all right, and then he turned back to the admittance
clerk. “She says no one can see her.”

Margaid’s face puckered into a sucking
lemons expression. “It smells in here.”

The lady gazed at him with a blank
stare and ignored Margaid.

With a shrug, he explained,
“She says she’s a
lhiannan
shee
.”

The clerk’s eyebrows
arched.


Andrew, I don’t like it
here. I think we should leave.”

Gesturing Margaid to be quiet, he
spoke louder to the clerk. “She says the sea god

told her to drain men’s blood into a
red cauldron.”


Andrew, they keep human
blood here. I can smell it.”


Ma’am, are you listening?
Stop staring, my friend needs help.”


All right.” The lady in
blue scrubs crossed her arms over her chest. “Where is
she?”


How can she help me if she
can’t see me?”


Margaid, I can’t talk to
two people at once, please be quiet.” He leaned closer to the
clerk’s window. “She’s right here in front of you.” He wrapped his
arm around Margaid’s shoulder.


I see.” The admittance
clerk’s lips grew tight and her eyes narrowed. “And what is your
name?”


I’m Andrew Quayle, I’m an
American.”

The lady began typing on the computer.
“Address please?”


Why are you giving her
your address? You never gave me your address. Andrew, you don’t
even know this woman. I don’t like the way she’s looking at
you.”


I don’t like the way she’s
looking at me, either.” He tilted his head toward the clerk. “I
don’t think you need my information, do you? You need
Margaid’s.”


Very well, stay right here
please.” The slant of her eyes and the arch of her brows suggested
she’d cast him aside. “A nurse will be with you soon.” She picked
up the phone and pushed a button. “We have a situation, we need
someone up front.”


Andrew, I’m not a
situation and neither are you. We should just leave if that’s the
way they’re going to be.”


Margaid, the doctors here
can help you. I’m sure of it.” He inhaled slowly. “Just please be
quiet.”


Why? They can’t hear
me.”

Soon, a middle-aged woman in a white,
zip front tunic and straight-legged slacks stepped up to him.
“Hello sir, come with me please.” She led him into a small room
with an examination table. She motioned to Andrew to sit on the
table.


Me or Margaid?”


I’m not sitting down
there, Andrew. I want to go back to my cave.”

The nurse sat in the chair. “Margaid?”
The nurse’s forehead crinkled.


Yes.” Were these women
blind? He pointed at Margaid.


Yes, that’s me, the
lhiannan shee
.”

The nurse kept her gaze on Andrew.
“How can I help you?”


I brought Margaid, she’s
the patient.” Was everyone on this island either dense or
crazy?


Is she here with us?” The
nurse scanned the small office as if looking for
Margaid.


Of course I’m here with
you. I’m not going to leave Andrew alone in this awful place. It
smells like sickness in here.” Margaid crossed her arms over her
chest.


Yes, she’s speaking to you
right now.” What’s wrong with this nurse?


Sir, this may seem like a
dumb question but do you know that no one’s here but you and
me?”


Are you crazy? She’s right
here.”

Margaid’s eyes widened. “Andrew, I
think she thinks you’re crazy.”


Why don’t you tell me a
little about Margaid?” The nurse leaned closer to him.


I don’t like this woman.
Don’t tell her anything about me.”


Look, I’m not crazy. She’s
here but she says no one can see her but me. That can’t be true. It
makes no sense.”


Of course it makes sense,
Andrew. It’s part of the
lhiannan
shee
lore because I’m your slave. I keep
telling you that.”


How long have you known
her?”


I just met her tonight,
she lives under the sea. She says she’s something called a
lhiannan shee
.” He paused
and looked the nurse straight in the eye, hoping he could get her
to understand. “I’m not crazy. It’s true.” He let out a sigh. “You
really don’t see her?”

Margaid stepped but a breath span from
the woman and waved her hands in the nurse’s face. “Hello,
hello.”


I don’t see anyone in here
but you and me. However, did you say she’s a
lhiannan shee
?”

Andrew chuckled at Margaid’s antics.
“That’s what she says. I know it makes no sense, I never even heard
of it before.”


You’re not from the
island.”


Does he sound like he’s
from the island?” Margaid rolled her eyes.


No, I’m an
American.”

The clerk looked at him
with a skeptical smile on her face. “How did you learn about
the
lhiannan shee
?”


Margaid told
me.”


Lady, he knows all about
the
lhiannan shee
.
He has one as a slave.”

The nurse closed her eyes for a
moment. “She’s with us now.”


Yes.” Andrew and Margaid
spoke simultaneously.


Can you finally see
her?”


No, but I feel her energy.
I’m Manx, I know of the
lhiannan
shee.


You don’t look like you
know much to me,” Margaid quipped.


So you believe me.” Andrew
smiled with relief.


Yes, but I don’t know if I
can help you. The
lhiannan shee
kill their prey.”


What did you say?” Margaid
placed her hands on her hips. “I’ve never killed anyone. But I
might make an exception and drink your blood.”


Margaid says she’s my
slave because I resisted her seduction.”


You tell her.” Margaid’s
face was flushed with anger.


What?” The nurse gulped.
“She wasn’t able to seduce you?”


Look lady that’s none of
your business.” Margaid scowled.


Well, I tied her hands,
anyway, she couldn’t complete the seduction.” His cheeks felt hot
with embarrassment. “So it’s as if I resisted her charms. That’s
what she says.” He hoped this nurse didn’t ask him anything
else.

The nurse rubbed her
forehead. “The
lhiannan shee
are unmatched in their beauty. They seduce men
with their looks alone.”


Well, that is true.”
Margaid began to calm down.


Well, I lost my contacts.
So she’s as much a blur to me as you are.”


You can’t see her
well?”


No.”


That explains it.” The
nurse leaned back in the straight wooden chair and laughed.
“The
lhiannan shee
are fey. If you’d been able to truly see her, you couldn’t
resist her charms.”

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