A Feast of You (25 page)

Knock, Knock

Who’s there?

Cows go.

Cows go who?

No! Cows go moo.

I laughed and texted back,
Good one
. I shared the joke with Asa because I figured anyone could appreciate a stupid knock-knock joke. His eyes sort of crinkled, which I took to mean he was amused.

I also had a text from William.

Client sent me a gift basket with gourmet jelly beans. Eating them and thinking of you. I’ll save you the root beer and banana.

My body tingled as I remembered the night we’d spent at The Peninsula, lounging in each other’s arms and eating jelly beans. I loved that he remembered that I liked the exotic flavors. That had been the night I realized I loved William, and the first night he had truly opened up to me. I stared at my phone and exhaled loudly. I hated it when he kept things from me. The “two steps forward, ten steps back” thing with us was getting ridiculous. It wasn’t mysterious when he neglected to tell me about a party he was throwing for my best friend—it was intentional, and that hurt. What was the big deal? How could he keep something like this from me and, more importantly,
why
would he? It didn’t make any sense.

As tempted as I was to tell Anthony to forget the library and take me to William’s office so I could confront him about Beckett’s party, I glanced up and saw traffic was at a stop. We weren’t going anywhere in a hurry and besides, barging in to his office unannounced and demanding answers probably wasn’t the best idea anyway. So I’d wait. I texted him back.
Save me the pink ones, too. XOXO.
When I didn’t get an immediate response, I figured William had gone back to doing whatever it was he did all day as a global business tycoon.

The Loop was like a parking lot and as the SUV inched along, I had time to mess around with the calendar app on my phone. I opened the app and studied it for a long moment. Even though William said all my emails, contacts, and calendar entries migrated to the new phone, it hadn’t been a perfect sync. I’d had an old Android, and this was my first iPhone. Not all of my contacts or the calendar entries had moved. Case in point, Laird’s birthday hadn’t shown up. I tapped March and spent a few minutes figuring out how to add Beckett’s party to the seventeenth. I even added a reminder but just to practice. This was one event I wouldn’t forget since William and I would be going together.

I tapped my fingers on the screen. What else should I add? Oh, my mom’s visit on Easter. “When is Easter, Asa?” I asked.

“No idea, Miss Kelly. April?”

“Let me check.” I Googled Easter and the year and reported back. “You’re right. Third Sunday in April this year.” I added my mom’s visit and then went back to March and typed Laird’s birthday on March 1. My dad’s birthday, which was also in March, had transferred over.
Weird
. What else did I need to add?

Oh, my period. I scrolled back to see if the asterisk I used to track my cycle had transferred over. Nothing.

I reminded myself this was a new phone. I closed my eyes and tried to remember when I’d last had my period. I got it on the plane coming back from California. That was the end of January. I scrolled there and saw a little star on January 30 and the following three days. So it
had
transferred.

So January 30 and then I’d had it...I scrolled through February and my hand started to tremble. No asterisk in February. My heart started racing, but I refused to allow myself to panic. Had I skipped it in February? I really couldn’t remember. And now it was March. I scrolled through March and did a quick calculation.

Deep breaths, deep breaths
.

Could I be almost two weeks late?

I closed my eyes and tried not to hyperventilate, mainly because I didn’t want to alarm Anthony and Asa. I cycled through all the logical reasons why I might be off. Stress was the likely cause. I had way more stress than usual and more than enough to mess my body up. I mean, I was living at my boyfriend’s penthouse and being guarded around the clock because someone was trying to hurt me. That would mess up any girl’s cycle.

Finally we made it to the Harold Washington Library, the main branch of the Chicago Public Library, and I pulled myself together enough to make a good show of meandering through the stacks. I was still shell-shocked, and Asa probably wondered if I even knew what I was looking for. He trailed me discreetly, but he never let me out of his sight.

My head slowly cleared enough that I figured out where to find the section that housed books on lighting techniques and special effects photography. I stopped in the photography section and began to read the book titles. Asa loitered nearby. I supposed something nefarious
could
happen in the Russian history section or maybe in the deserted aisles with the volumes on building codes. I was done taking chances, and I was glad Asa was ready for any eventuality.

I pulled out a book on photography techniques and started paging through it. Nothing. I shelved it and grabbed another. I flipped pages, then replaced it too. I flipped through at least five books before I found a promising chapter heading in one of the technical books. I paged to the chapter and smiled. This was exactly what I was looking for—a detailed description of how one photographer pulled off the very shoot I’d been tasked with achieving. I scanned the account of the photographer’s experience with the elusive champagne cork pop and realized I was going to need all sorts of props. I thought about digging in my bag for a pen and paper to jot them down and then decided I could use my neglected library card and just check the book out. I made a mental note to let William know that I’d need, at minimum, a plastic tarp, PVC pipe, and a laser timer.

“Would you like me to carry that for you, Miss Kelly?” Asa asked, nodding toward the book in my hand. It wasn’t a particularly big book, but it was a sweet gesture.

“Okay, I guess,” I said. I handed the book over and watched him tuck it under his massive, muscled arm. “Thanks,” I added.

“No problem. Which way now?”

“The circulation desk? I need to check out.”

“Lead the way. I’ll follow you.”

I headed back through the tall stacks and toward the stairs to the first floor and the check-out desk. On the way, I spotted a bank of computers. Asa was right behind me, and since I wanted a moment of privacy, I said, “I just need to check one thing, Asa. Could you give me a sec?”

He nodded and moved to the opposite side of the room, enough space to give me breathing room. I sat at one of the available computers and logged in using my library card number. I clicked out of the card catalog and onto the internet, then pulled up Google. I glanced over my shoulder. Asa was still standing in the same spot. I took a breath and typed in:
Can I be pregnant with an IUD?

Bile rose in my throat, and my belly churned. I pressed my lips together, hit Search, and watched the results come up on the screen.

* * *

O
nce I’d checked out my book and was settled again the back of the SUV, I heard myself say, “Asa, can we make a quick stop at Walgreens before we go back to the penthouse?”

“Of course, Miss Kelly.”

A
t the last minute, I talked myself out of it. The closer we got to Walgreens, the clearer it was that I was majorly overreacting. My life had literally become a crazy mess lately so no wonder Aunt Flo was a little delayed. Being supervised 24/7 by my boyfriend’s armed guards was more than a little stress inducing.

What I really needed was to stop panicking, start taking care of myself, and get my life back to normal. So I told Asa to skip the drugstore and take me directly home. Then I pulled out my phone and texted Beckett.

How about hot yoga tomorrow? Know it’s a longshot...

It had been weeks since Beckett and I had gone to hot yoga and an hour or so of Saturday morning sweaty centeredness was exactly what I needed. What
we
needed.

He responded immediately
. Can’t in the am + too tired. Lunch @ noon instead?

Ok,
I texted.
I’ll yoga and meet you after. Spanglish? Need a taco fix.

Spanglish Mexican Kitchen was a casual little taqueria in the South Loop, and I loved their tacos. I loved tacos, period.

Done. See you manana. XO

I put my phone back in my purse then pulled off my scarf and opened my coat. It was freezing outside, but I was suddenly too warm. I could feel beads of perspiration breaking out on my forehead, so I pressed the button on the door to open the window. It didn’t budge.
Shit
. I was sure child locks in the backseat were another of William’s security measures.

“Asa, can you turn the heat down back here? I’m roasting.”

“Sure thing, Miss Kelly. Sorry about that.”

I watched as he leaned forward and adjusted a dial on the center console.

“It should cool down in a minute.”

A refreshing blast of air washed over me, and I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I knew that getting my butt up and out of bed tomorrow morning for yoga was going to suck, especially since William would be in that bed. Even if I was pissed at him about the party, one look from him was all it would take to derail my plans, but I’d have to stand my ground. I needed some me time.

“Are you more comfortable now, Miss Kelly?” Asa’s question startled me out of my thoughts.

“Much better. Thanks.”

I wondered if I should bring an extra mat for Asa tomorrow. An image of my big, burly protector going through the Bikram posture sequence alongside me popped into my head.
This was getting ridiculous.
I hoped Asa liked tacos, because he would inevitably be joining Beckett and me for lunch too.

* * *

G
eorge Graham walked out of William’s building just as I was walking up. His coat was slung over his arm, and he had car keys in his hand.

“Hi George.”

“Hi Miss Kelly.” George’s granite expression looked even more stony than usual.

“Is everything alright?”

“Just fine, Miss Kelly.”

Something about George’s extra-steeliness didn’t feel right at all, and my heart started racing in response. So much for my moment of calm in the car.

“Is William home?”

“He is, Miss Kelly.”

Once upstairs, I strode through the penthouse’s oversized rooms, a little panicked and looking for William. I finally found him in his enormous closet in the master suite. He turned as I walked in, as though he’d been expecting me.

“Hey, love,” he said, coming over to greet me with a kiss. Circumstances aside, I loved that I got to come home to this man every day.

“Hi.” I leaned against the door after William released me. I eyed him suspiciously. He was in workout clothes—a black compression T-shirt with tight black gym shorts. His hair was messy and damp in the back and curling, and his face flushed. “Slow day at the office or something?” I asked.

“Not exactly,” he replied.

I continued to look at him. William regularly hit the gym in the early morning—in fact I was pretty sure he’d hit the gym
this
morning. Not that I minded seeing him like this. God, I was so fucking lucky. His body was pure muscled perfection, proportioned and ripped in just the right places. I loved his big shoulders and defined biceps. He was in incredible shape, so how was it that all his fine wining and dining didn’t seem to effect his physique at all? I wished I was so lucky.

I watched as he flipped through a row of neatly hung suits that were organized by color. Maybe he was going back to the office.

“Counting your Tom Fords? You have at least a dozen.”

“Is that so?”

Whatever strange vibe I had picked up from George was coming from William too. He looked casual and relaxed, but he was acting weird.

“Which one are you going to wear to Beckett’s party?” I asked. That might have been a low blow, but it got his attention and I could feel my temper flaring.

His back was to me, and I watched as he hung his head and exhaled loudly. “Shit.” He turned around and our gazes met. His eyes were hooded and he looked tired. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead.”

I folded my arms across my chest. “I saw Beckett today and made an ass of myself. Why didn’t you tell me?”

William’s jaw tensed. “I’ve been meaning to tell you, Catherine, but we’re still sorting out the security and it is, like everything else, totally fucking complicated.”

His eyes were that clear icy blue, but I sighed with frustration. Even going to a party wasn’t fun or simple anymore, but I wasn’t going to let him off the hook just because he liked to censor things.

“If it’s any consolation, I just ripped George a new asshole about twenty minutes ago.”

Well, that explained George.

“I’m sure the security is a pain in the ass. But that doesn’t explain why you didn’t just tell me. Beckett is my
best friend
, and it seems like everyone else has known about this for weeks. I know we’ve both been busy, but really? I thought we were past this kind of secretive bullshit.”

He took two steps toward me until we were only inches apart. I could feel the heat radiating off of him and smell his musky, post-workout scent. He looked down at me.

“We are. And I had every intention of telling you, but I simply forgot. I have a lot on my mind right now.”

“You’re not the only one with a lot on your mind, William.” I answered softly. I lowered my eyes and caught sight of a carry-on bag lying open on a leather bench at the back of the closet. I stared at it. His evasiveness made sense now. “You’re leaving?”

“I have to,” he answered.

“Where?” My stomach sunk like it was weighted with stones, and I suddenly felt abandoned. All of my anger about the party instantly dissipated. I couldn’t believe he was leaving and that he hadn’t told me. “Where?” I asked again.

“Japan,” he said quietly. “For a week.”

I looked up at him. “That’s the other side of the world.” It seemed like such a silly thing to say. Obviously it was thousands of miles away, but
there was going to be an ocean between us for an entire week
. I suddenly had to blink back tears.