A Family Under the Christmas Tree (13 page)

A smile broke out across her face. “That's very generous of you.”

Her praise puffed up his chest a bit. He'd known she'd like that. Though he wasn't sure why her approval meant so much to him. Crazy. She was only temporarily in his and Troy's life.

Which was something he really needed to make sure Troy understood. He'd already told Troy that Sophie would be leaving after Christmas, but he had a feeling the child would need to be reminded often so his heart didn't break when the time came for Sophie to say good-bye.

She narrowed her gaze a bit. He could see her mind working. “So if work isn't bothering you, then what?”

Like a dog with a bone. He would admire her stubbornness if it weren't directed at him. “Are you always so relentless?”

She shrugged with a wry grimace. “According to my brothers, yes.”

He wondered what made her tick. What kind of sister was she? What kind of girlfriend would she be? Strike that. He wasn't interested in a girlfriend. He was so overwhelmed as it was by life, adding a relationship to the mix would only complicate things. But he couldn't deny he would like to know more about her. It couldn't hurt to fill in some details as long as he kept his heart from falling for her. Besides, if he could direct the conversation away from himself, all the better. “How many brothers do you have?”

“Three.”

That surprised him. She'd said her parents were workaholics. He'd expected her to be an only child or have one sibling at the most. “Where do you fit in?”

“They are all older. Craig is thirty-five and a doctor, married to Leann, whom I adore. They have two kids, Michael and Gregory. Then there's Dean. He's thirty-two, a lawyer, married to Caitlyn, and they have a newborn girl named Deidra, after Cait's mother. And Sean's
thirty, a pharmacist, and recently married to Rhonda.”

He couldn't help the stab of envy at the large family she enjoyed. “You're the lone holdout, huh?”

“Yes.” She blew out a breath. “Much to my mother's dismay.”

“Why's that?”

“That my mom's dismayed? She thinks if I don't get married by the time I'm thirty then I won't.” She shook her head. “I'm twenty-eight. There's still time.”

“If thirty is the cutoff to be married, I'm doomed. Thirty was three years ago.” Not that marriage was on his mind.

“There's no time limit on getting married. That's just my mother's weirdness.”

He chuckled. “Do you want to get married someday?”

She shrugged again. “I'm not sure. I don't have a stellar track record when it comes to relationships.”

He could relate. “Too career-oriented?”

She frowned. “Why would you say that?”

“You travel for your work, live in a studio apartment that you admit is more of a storage and staging place than a home. You seem perfectly happy unattached and unfettered.”

Her eyes widened. Apparently he'd hit the mark with his observations. “What about you? Is marriage in your plans?”

“Definitely too work-oriented. My company comes first.”

“But you have Troy now,” she gently reminded him. “He should come before work.”

There was that. A game changer. “Yes. So now I have two priorities. I don't think I could handle juggling a third one.”

She looked away. What did it matter to her that he didn't have room in his life for marriage? She wasn't searching for a soul mate either.

When she glanced back at him there was determination in her blue eyes. “You still haven't answered my question. Why were you upset this afternoon?”

He barked out a shallow laugh. “You're not going to let that go, are you?”

Her chin lifted. “No.” Riggs must have sensed the change in her demeanor because he rose and nudged her with his nose. She reached down to stroke his head. David watched the way the dog's eyes rolled back in pure joy. The yearning to have Sophie running her fingers through his own hair made his scalp itch.

Snapping his mind away from the dog's obvious pleasure, David debated hedging. He really didn't want to go down this road with her, but had a feeling she'd just keep pressing until he broke. Better to just get it over with. To put it out there and see how fast she ran. “Seeing all those gifts and hearing Troy talk about the needy brought back memories from my childhood.”

She cocked her head. “Did you and your family give to the poor?”

Acid burned in his gut. Such an innocent query. A valid one. Although everything inside of him wanted to walk away from her question, the answer slipped from his mouth anyway. “We
were
the poor.”

She inhaled sharply. “Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean—”

No sense in letting her feel bad for asking. “It's okay. No need to apologize.”

He wasn't sure why he'd told her. He'd never admitted the truth to anyone before. He'd kept that part of his life from the public, from his employees and his investors. From anyone in his life. No one needed to know he'd come from nothing. He didn't want anyone feeling sorry for him, or giving him a boost just because of his childhood circumstances.

But Sophie had a quality that made him want to tell her things he'd never told to anyone else. He steeled himself against the pity he expected to see in her eyes. “Daniel and I were on the receiving end of others' charity more often than I care to remember.”

“Ah.”

The tenderness in her eyes pricked him. No doubt her compassionate heart was flooded with sympathy. His fingers curled at his sides but he refrained from backing away from her. He'd started this by opening up and he'd take the hit. Better for her to learn now that he wasn't like her and therefore not someone she should ever get emotionally involved with. They were from opposite worlds.

She put a hand on his arm. “And receiving gifts from strangers made you feel dependent and out of control.”

Her insight left him speechless. How could she know or possibly understand what he'd felt when her life had been so different? She'd never wanted for food or shelter. She'd never been teased or laughed at because she had on someone else's cast-off clothes, or had to stand in line at the welfare office for food stamps, bread, and milk.

Despite her parents' lack of attention, she'd had a privileged life. Still did.

He should turn around and go back inside his house and leave her to think what she wanted, but he couldn't make himself move.

“Your parents?”

“Did the best they could,” he was quick to say. He didn't want her to think less of them. “They'd loved each other and their children above all else. My dad dropped out of high school to work on the family wheat farm. He and Mom were high school sweethearts, and when she finished high school, she married my
dad and helped my grandparents. Daniel and I came along pretty quickly. Unfortunately, hard times hit.”

His gut clenched at the thought of all his family had suffered. He had to force himself to continue. He'd come this far, he had to go all the way. “There were problems on the farm. Drought and then a diseased crop. Pressure from the bank.”

Sophie made a distressed noise.

He had to look away to continue. “Dad and Granddad did everything they could but weren't able to save the farm. By the time I was four we lived in a small trailer on the edge of town. Dad did day labor for other farms in the area. Mom took a job at the convenience store.” He couldn't keep the bitterness from creeping into his tone. “There's a superstore on our farmland now.”

She squeezed his arm. “That must have been hard on your family.”

Riggs shifted his attention to David. The pup moved to lean against David's leg. Reaching down, David uncurled his hand to bury his fingers in the dog's fluffy fur. “Heartbreaking was more like it.”

The memories battered at him, bringing with them the anxiety and fear that had plagued him for so long. Obviously he hadn't buried his past as deeply as he'd thought he had. “My grandparents both died shortly afterward.”

Were those tears in her eyes? “And your parents? Do they still live . . .”

“In Chewelah. No. They're gone. Mom died from the flu. We didn't have insurance, so she wouldn't go to the doctor, and the over-the-counter medication did nothing for her.”

“That's so sad.” Sophie's voice broke.

“We were sad. Dad's heart couldn't take it. He suffered a heart attack a few months later.”

Her hand went to her throat. “I'm so sorry. How old were you?”

“A sophomore in high school. Daniel was already working for the post office by then and he was able to become my guardian even though he was only four years older.”

Still young. Too young to take on raising a teenager. “I owe Daniel so much for everything he did for me.”

“You've taken in his son,” she said softly.

“Taking in Troy's a small price for the years Daniel had sacrificed for me,” he said. “It was Daniel who made sure we had a roof over our heads and food to eat. It was Daniel who pushed me to get good grades and to apply for scholarships.” Guilt swamped him for so many reasons. The sacrifices Daniel had made for him. The time lost between them. “He'd started out as a custodian at the post office and climbed his way up.”

“He sounds like he was a great guy.”

He nodded, wishing he'd told Daniel how much he'd appreciated all he'd done, but the drive to succeed had kept David silent. “He was a great guy. When I came west to go to college he followed, taking a job with the city of Bellevue as a carrier. He enjoyed delivering the mail.”

“It's a noble profession.”

“True. Daniel had such a bright outlook on life. He'd taken everything in stride, always believing things would work out. He took solace in his faith and his family, while I found security in my work. That drove us apart in the end.” David's voice trembled. “I miss my brother.”

Her arms slid around him. Stunned, he wrapped his arms around her. Her hair smelled like sunshine after a spring rain. He shouldn't enjoy having her in his embrace as much as he did. And he was helpless to do anything about it. Even if he wanted to.

N
ow I understand,” Sophie murmured against David's chest.

David struggled to comprehend her words. Despite the fact that they were standing on his porch in the cold, he only felt the warmth of holding her in his arms. “Understand what?”

“Why you have such trouble accepting help. Why you feel obligated to repay any kindness.”

“I don't—” Even as he began to protest, he knew what she said was truth. But that was who he was, what made him who he was. He couldn't change.

She pulled back and looked into his face. “David, you can't let your past define who you are.”

Whoa. He stepped back, letting his arms drop to his sides. “I don't let the past define me.” A fire ignited deep inside him. “I'm who I am because I fought my way out. I studied hard and won scholarships. Nobody handed me anything.”

“That's
admirable, but it sounds lonely.”

“I'm not lonely.” The words rang hollow in the cold night air. He frowned, considering her words. “When I'm at work, I'm surrounded by my employees. And now I have Troy. That's all I need.”

He didn't need anyone else. But looking into her eyes, an empty spot in his heart opened up like a wound. He'd be crazy to think she could fill it. Would want to fill it. She was leaving. She'd made her plan clear. Her life was on the move, wandering the world with her camera. Looking at life through her lens.

Settling down with a ready-made family wasn't something she wanted or needed. He'd be setting himself up for regret and heartache if he allowed himself to become too attached to this woman.

Or to let Troy become too used to having her in their lives. It was imperative that David talk more to Troy tomorrow about Sophie's temporary status in their lives. This was a nice break from reality for them both, but he didn't have it in him to fall for Sophie. Not now, while Troy needed him so much. David's priority had to be on his nephew and his company. There wasn't room for anyone else. Not even the lovely Sophie.

“Thank you for explaining. I understand how hard it was for you as a young boy.” She visibly pulled herself together and moved toward the stairs. “Please don't begrudge Troy the opportunity to be blessed by giving to others.”

He didn't like the note of censure in her tone. Or the self-reproach crawling up his throat. He'd been so busy shoring up his defenses against any storm that might hit, he hadn't taken the time to look outward. To give back to the community. A wave of shame washed over him. He jammed his hands into pockets. “I'm not. I wouldn't. I think it's a nice gesture.”

“Only a gesture?”
She considered him for a long moment. “It's more blessed to give than to receive,” she said. “I never really understood that verse in Acts but now I think I do.”

Sophie's words reverberated inside his head. A blessing to give? “I've never thought of giving in that way before.”

“Kindness to others is an expression of faith in God.” She tugged on Riggs's leash. “It's late. I should get back to Grandma.”

Suddenly he didn't want her to go. He wanted to explore these new thoughts she'd planted inside his head. But the smart thing to do was let her return home so he could figure out his life on his own. Like always. But she'd given him plenty to chew on. “Good night, Sophie.”

“I'll see you tomorrow.” She and Riggs walked away.

He stood on the porch long after they'd gone inside Louise's house. His mind was mired in turmoil. Why had he told her about his childhood? Why did he feel so . . . empty?

A cry from inside jolted through him. He hurried to Troy's room. Light from the hallway slashed across Troy's bed.