A Family To Cherish (17 page)

I
n the car on the way to the courthouse, with Janee chattering happily in the back seat, Barbara felt hopeful about the judge's decision. But as soon as she sat down in Judge Wetherell's chambers and met his steely gaze, she was filled with misgivings. What could she possibly say that would counteract Pam and Benny's destructive words yesterday?

Dear Lord, please help me to keep my eyes focused on You,
she prayed silently.
Not on myself or the circumstances. Give me Your strength and show Your love through me. I am Your child and I trust You to do what's best for me…and best for Janee.

Judge Wetherell broke into her thoughts. “Mrs. Logan, are you ready to address the court today regarding your young niece, Janee Myers?”

Barbara straightened her shoulders and swallowed over the dryness in her throat. “Yes, Your Honor.”

The judge sat forward and tented his fingers. “Then please proceed, Mrs. Logan. Tell the court why you believe you and your husband should be allowed to adopt your niece.”

Barbara kept her gaze singularly on the judge, not on Pam and Benny. “Your Honor, what my sister-in-law said yesterday was partly true. After Doug and I lost our daughter Caitlin, we both withdrew into ourselves. We erected barriers around our emotions so that we wouldn't have to feel anything. We didn't even know how to comfort each other, so our marriage grew cold. Numbness seemed better than the pain.

“When Janee came into our lives, we were forced to face the truth about ourselves. Doug had buried himself in his work. I was living in the past. We had closed our hearts to each other and to God. Janee forced those doors open and made us feel again. She made us dare to love once more. To love each other. To love another child. To love and trust God again.

“Your Honor, even if you decide we can't have Janee, she's done more for us in the brief time she's been in our lives than anyone else ever could have done. She's given us back everything we thought we'd lost—our love, our hope, our faith.”

Barbara's voice caught with sweeping emotion. She drew in a deep breath and steadied herself.
Help me, God. Don't let me falter now.
After a tension-filled silence, she went on with renewed conviction.
“Your Honor, I ask that you let us adopt Janee, because in our hearts she's already ours and we're already hers. We love her as much as any two parents could love a child, and we want what's best for her, just as our Heavenly Father always chooses what's best for us. So whatever you decide today, we know it will be in Janee's best interest and in the providence of God.”

The judge drummed his fingers on his desk. “Is there anything else you wish to say, Mrs. Logan?”

Barbara blotted her eyes with a tissue. Her makeup was running, and she probably looked a sight, but it didn't matter. She felt a marvelous peace inside, a certainty that God was in charge and everything would be all right, no matter what happened. “No, Your Honor,” she said quietly.

“How about you, Mr. Logan? Would you like to add something to your wife's remarks?”

Doug reached over and clasped Barbara's hand tightly in his. His voice was heavy with feeling. “Only this, Your Honor. I love my wife with all my heart, and I love Janee as if she were my own. God help me, I promise to be the best husband and father I can be.”

Judge Wetherell sat back, put on small, wire-rimmed spectacles and folded his robed arms over his ample middle. “Well, then, now I'd like to—”

Benny spoke up, nearly rising from his chair. “Can we say something more, Judge?”

Judge Wetherell peered at Benny over his spec
tacles. “Mr. Cotter, I think you and Mrs. Cotter had opportunity to convey your opinions yesterday. Do you have something of significance to add to those comments?”

Benny cast an annoyed glance at Doug and Barbara. “No, Judge, I guess I don't have anything more to add.”

“Fine, then.” Judge Wetherell made a rumbling sound in his throat. “Now I would like to speak privately with young Janee Myers. Where is the girl, Mrs. Logan?”

“She's just outside, putting together a jigsaw puzzle with your bailiff.”

“Ah, yes.” The judge stifled an amused smile. “Please, send her in as you leave.”

“Judge, when will we know your decision?” asked Benny, standing and straightening his yellow paisley sports jacket. “You're not going to make us come back another day, are you? I've got a business to run back in Oregon, you know.”

“I'm aware of that, Mr. Cotter. The court will render its decision after I've talked with your niece.”

“You know my brother and his wife have probably coached her,” said Pam thickly. “I'm sure they've filled her head with all kinds of wild promises.”

“Don't worry, Mrs. Cotter. I'm a grandfather. I think I can handle a five-year-old. I'm sure we'll have a very enlightening conversation.”

For over half an hour Barbara and Doug sat on a hard bench in the hall outside the courtroom, while Judge Wetherell visited with Janee in his chambers. Pam and Benny sat on a bench some distance away, hurling smoldering glances, refusing even to engage in chitchat.

Finally the bailiff signaled for the four of them to rejoin the judge in his chambers. Judge Wetherell was sitting behind his desk with Janee on his lap. She smiled contentedly as she tore the wrapper off a candy bar and offered the judge a bite.

“No, thank you, Janee,” he said with a hefty chuckle. “It's all yours. I'm watching my waistline, you know, and there's an awful lot of it to watch.”

As everyone sat down, the judge shuffled several papers on his desk while still balancing Janee on his knee. As the tension in the room mounted, he cleared his throat loudly and said, “The young lady and I have had a very nice visit. I've learned all about her little stuffed friend Zowie and the elegant Mrs. Miniver, and the nesting boxes Janee placed around her mountain cabin for the baby animals.”

He paused and smiled at Janee to make sure he had all of his details correct. Janee nodded, and he proceeded. “I've also learned that Janee had a very pleasant visit with her Aunt Pam and Uncle Benny in Oregon. She's very fond of both of you, Mr. and Mrs. Cotter.”

“Of course she is,” exclaimed Pam, pleased.

Barbara and Doug exchanged concerned glances.
What Barbara feared most was happening. The judge had been swayed by their arguments. Could she endure this? Her heart hammered in her chest. Surely everyone could hear.
Please, God, please!

“Janee has also been very happy staying with her Aunt Barbara and Uncle Doug in their cabin in the mountains,” said Judge Wetherell, smiling benevolently at Janee. “They've played lots of games and gone for walks in the woods and fed the squirrels and made pinecone people. She says she has started calling the Logans ‘Mommy' and ‘Daddy' because they love her the way mommies and daddies love their children.”

Barbara reached for Doug's hand. Tears flooded her eyes.

Judge Wetherell's tone turned solemn as he gazed at Pam and Benny. “Mr. and Mrs. Cotter, you made many glowing promises yesterday regarding what you would give Janee if you adopted her. The best schools. A beautiful home. Anything her heart desired. But never did you mention the one most important thing. Love.”

Barbara held her breath. The world seemed to stop on its axis, waiting, waiting.

“From what I've witnessed today,” Judge Wetherell continued, “Janee is already receiving plenty of that very crucial commodity. From the Logans. They love her and she loves them, and as far as I'm concerned that's the most vital ingredient in any relationship. Therefore, the court finds in favor of
Doug and Barbara Logan. The papers will be drawn up for them to adopt their young niece, Janee Myers. This case is dismissed.”

For Barbara, the next few moments were like something out of a dream. She was vaguely aware of standing and moving in slow motion toward the judge's desk. She was aware of Doug catching her around the waist and saying something, his face beaming with joy and excitement. She was aware of Janee jumping down from the judge's lap and racing toward her, and somehow she and Doug and Janee converging in one delirious hug, the three of them exchanging bushels of kisses and tears and laughter.

After signing the necessary legal documents, Barbara and Doug linked arms, with Janee in the middle, and paraded out of the courthouse, swinging Janee in the air between them, letting her soar in the circle of their love.

One year later

A
s Barbara gazed up at the huge banner over the open doors of the elaborately decorated hotel ballroom, she swallowed over a growing lump in her throat. She wasn't going to cry. She had promised herself, no tears. But they were coming anyway, unbidden, unstoppable as her eyes moved over the heart-stirring words of the blue-and-gold banner.

Celebrating the Opening of the
Caitlin Logan Memorial Pediatric Wing

Barbara looked at Doug beside her, handsome and debonair in his black tuxedo, a red rose boutonniere in his lapel. He had never looked more proud or more impassioned. Tears glistened in his smoky blue
eyes as they did in hers. With a quavering little smile she tucked her arm in his and whispered, “This is the day we've waited for, darling. We're doing the last good thing we can for our daughter.”

Doug nodded, a tendon tightening in his sculpted jaw. “Caitlin would have loved knowing that thousands of children will be helped in her name.”

“Maybe she does know.” One warm tear streamed down Barbara's cheek. “It gives Caitlin's short life a whole new purpose, doesn't it? One that will continue long after we're gone.”

“God is good,” whispered Doug, patting her hand.

Janee tugged on Barbara's arm. “Mommy, let's go in. The party's already started.”

Barbara smiled down at her precious Janee, looking like an angel in her pink taffeta party dress, her golden hair in sun-washed ringlets. “We're going in, sweetie. Right now.”

“Can I have some pink punch, Mommy? A big glass? And a big piece of Caitlin's birthday cake?”

“Sure, honey. Only it's not Caitlin's birthday cake.”

“Yes, it is, Mommy,” Janee insisted. “You said this is Caitlin's party. So it's her cake.”

Barbara smiled, waves of emotion rising in her chest. “You're right, baby. It's Caitlin's cake, and you can have all you want.”

Doug escorted them through a mingling throng of graceful women in formal sequined gowns and el
egant men in tuxedos and dinner jackets. Their destination—the refreshment table overflowing with fancy hors d'oeuvres and exotic delicacies: canapes, buffalo wings, smoked salmon, shrimp cocktail, eggrolls and stuffed mushrooms.

Janee solemnly surveyed the sprawling feast and shook her head in dismay. “I want French fries!”

“I'm sorry, honey,” said Doug. “French fries aren't on the menu here.”

“Why don't you try an eggroll, sweetie?” suggested Barbara. “Then we'll head over to the dessert table and get you that slice of cake you've been waiting for.”

Janee clapped her hands. “Yippee! Get me a piece with lots of yummy frosting, Mommy.” She opened her arms wide. “This much!”

“Don't worry, honey. You'll have frosting coming out your ears.”

“No, Mommy. In my mouth!”

Barbara laughed. “Right. In your mouth, not ears. What am I thinking of?”

Janee hugged Barbara's arm. “You're funny, Mommy. Isn't she funny, Daddy?”

Doug chuckled and gave Barbara an amused glance. “I'm staying out of this discussion.”

Barbara nudged him playfully. “You'd better, if you know what's good for you.”

“Oh, I do, believe me.”

As they headed for the dessert table, Barbara noticed a familiar face in the crowd. Trent Townsend,
of all people. In a white dinner jacket, at that! Spotting Barbara, he made his way over, a willowy redhead on his arm.

“Barbara! I wondered if you'd arrived yet.” Trent released the redhead and took Barbara in his arms. He kissed her cheek, then offered Doug his hand. “Hey, ol' man. Thanks for sending me the invitation. How's it going?”

“Not bad. How about you?”

“We just got here,” said Barbara breathlessly. “I'm so glad Doug invited you, Trent. It's quite a reception, isn't it?”

“A wonderful occasion, darlin',” Trent agreed. “Everyone in town must be here, including the entire medical staff.” He leaned over confidentially to Doug. “But tell me, who's running the hospital?”

Doug chuckled. “I'm not sure.”

Trent turned back to Barbara and his voice softened. “I know how much this gala affair means to you and Doug.”

“Yes, it's very special.” Before she got choked up again, Barbara turned her gaze to the auburn-haired beauty in the green velvet gown and smiled.

“Oh, Barb,” said Trent, slipping his arm around the woman, “I'd like you to meet my wife, Valerie. Valerie, this is Barbara Logan and her husband Doug and their daughter, Janee.”

As everyone shook hands and exchanged pleasantries, Janee gave Trent a big bear hug. “We missed you, Uncle Trent.”

He swept her up in his arms. “Well, I've missed you, too, kiddo. Are you still at the cabin?”

“No, we moved back to the big fancy house. It's all fixed up again. No more cracks from the earthquake. And guess what, Uncle Trent!”

“What is it, sweet stuff?”

“I have the pretty room with all the bears and dolls! It's all mine!”

“That's terrific. I'll have to come visit you sometime.”

“Please come, Uncle Trent. You can meet Mrs. Miniver. You'll like her. She's the prettiest bear in the world.”

“Well, I'd like to meet her. May I bring Valerie?”

“Sure! She can play with my dolls.”

Valerie smiled. “I'd like that, honey.”

Trent turned to Doug. “So tell me, are you still in fund-raising? Or are you back doing your thing in the operating room again?”

Doug ran his hand over his curly black hair. “You could say I gave up fund-raising for the surgical suite. It's good to be back where I belong.”

“What made you change your mind?”

Doug gave Barbara a knowing glance. “I guess you could say I was listening to the wrong voice for a while—the voice of guilt and fear—when I should have been listening to the affirming voice of God.”

Trent grinned. “Yeah, I'm learning to listen to God myself. Valerie makes sure we're in church
every Sunday. I'm beginning to understand what Barb meant when she talked about God healing wounded hearts.”

Janee patted Trent's cheek. “Guess what, Uncle Trent!”

He put his large hand over her small one. “What is it, sweet pea?”

Janee drew in a deep breath as if preparing to expel all the words in one excited breath. “I'm going to have a new little baby brother or sister.”

Trent gave Barbara a quizzical smile. “You're expecting a baby?”

A pleasant flush warmed Barbara's cheeks. “Yes. In about six months.” Her hands moved unthinkingly to her slightly swelling middle. “It's another of God's little miracles.”

Trent set Janee down and pumped Doug's hand. “Well, congratulations again, ol' man. You've been busier than I thought.”

Doug slipped his arm around Barbara and drew her close. With his free hand he cupped her slender hands resting on her abdomen. “We're pretty excited,” he agreed, merriment coloring his voice. “In fact, all three of us are walking around in the clouds these days. Right, Janee?”

“No, Daddy. I walk around on the ground. See?” She took several exaggerated steps in her shiny black patent-leather shoes.

“What I mean, honey, is you're thrilled about the baby, too. You're already making plans to teach
your baby brother or sister all sorts of stuff. Like how to walk. And swim. And throw a ball. Right?”

Janee hunched her shoulders and rocked back and forth on her heels. “And I'm going to teach her how to color and make pinecone people and nesting boxes,” she chimed in with a wide, ear-to-ear grin.

A booming voice from the platform silenced them momentarily. “Ladies and gentlemen, may I please have your attention!” Dr. Underwood, the hospital administrator, a slender, silver-haired man, spoke into the crackling microphone. “Folks, I'd like to have Dr. Douglas Logan come up to the podium and say a few words. As you all know, Dr. Logan is responsible for the hospital's new pediatric wing. It is through his tireless fund-raising efforts that this worthy project has reached fruition. Let's give Dr. Logan a rousing round of applause.”

Amid the applause, Doug gazed down at Barbara, his eyes crinkling with pleasure and a hint of embarrassment. He was still holding her in his arms. “I guess he means me.”

Barbara smiled adoringly. “Your public awaits.”

“Then it looks like I'd better get up there. Say a prayer for me, okay?”

“I will. Share your heart, darling. They'll love you…just as I do.”

Doug tightened his embrace and kissed Barbara soundly on the lips. “I love you, Barbie,” he whispered into her ear. “More than you'll ever know.”

She sank into the deep, dusky blue of his eyes. “I love you, too, Doug. With all my heart.”

Janee squeezed her way between them. “Me, too, Mommy and Daddy. Let me in! Group hug!”

“Amen! Group hug!” boomed Doug, drawing Janee into their embrace. They hugged tightly, laughing breathlessly. Then Doug took their hands and stepped back with an expansive grin. “Listen, you two, I'm not going up on that stage alone. We're in this together, we're in this for a lifetime, so the three of us are going up there—one of you on each side while I make my speech. Okay?”

“Actually, it'll be the four of us up there,” said Barbara, patting her rounded tummy, “but who's counting?”

“She means the baby, Daddy,” said Janee, her green eyes dancing, her cheeks blushing pink as rose petals. “Remember? The baby!”

“Are you kidding?” said Doug, meeting Barbara's gaze with glistening eyes. “I could never forget our baby.”

The applause rose as Barbara, Doug and Janee linked arms and headed for the stage, laughing, moving as one, warm and secure in their love—and God's. It was a rare, exquisite moment that Barbara would cherish for the rest of her life.