A Family Man (4 page)

He sat next to her on the wooden bench and looked out across the rose garden. "You okay, M?"

"Yeah I am." She smiled. "I'm going home next week."

"Yeah, I heard. So why did you want to see me?"

"We need to talk." She took a deep breath. "Mike, my counselor, he thinks that my relationship with you is just another symptom of my self-destructive behavior. He thinks there should be some distance between us."

Joe said nothing, just looked out at the garden.

"Joe. Say something."

"Ma would love these flowers. She always wanted a proper garden."

"Joe, please."

"What do you want me to say, M?"

"That you understand."

"Oh, I understand just fine. You finally get your shit together and it's so long, Joe. Who do you think is paying for all this?"

"Joe, please don't be like this. You know what it's like between us." She took his hand. "I love you. But I can't jeopardize my recovery."

"What about Amy?"

"I'll never come between you and her, you know that." She sighed. "I'm not sure how we do this, but I do want you to be part of her life, even if you can't be part of mine."

Joe swallowed. He knew she was right, he'd said the same thing himself. But hearing Maria say it stung. It stung a lot.

SEVEN

They say time flies when you're having fun. If that was the case, the past two years must've been a bundle of laughs. Maria watched as her daughter greeted her friends as they arrived for her eighth birthday party.

She had been sober for two years now. It hadn't always been easy, but with the support of Beth, Sophia and Joe, she had managed it. More difficult than giving up the drink and drugs, was giving up Joe. There had been the odd relapse, but they both eventually realized that were hurting one another, and for the past six months they had managed to maintain some distance from each other. Now the only contact they had was when he came to see Amy.

She would always feel guilty that her past behavior had damaged her relationship with Amy. Even now after two years of sobriety, there was still a distance between them. Her daughter would probably never fully trust her not to let her down.

The sound of excited children drifted through the open window as Sophia applied her lipstick in preparation for Amy's party. She allowed herself a small smile. She had been skeptical about how successful Maria's attempt at staying clean would be. It looked like she was proven wrong, and she couldn't be more pleased for her. Joe had visited regularly, always making a point to spend time with Amy.

Her relationship with her son remained the same as it always had been. Volatile. There were few people who refused to be intimidated by Joe, but Sophia Taylor was one of them. If she thought he was in the wrong, she told him. Their latest fight had been over his decision to settle in Seattle. She had tried every trick in the book, from accusing the club to emotional blackmail. At one point she actually threw his dinner at him. Nothing worked. He was adamant, Seattle needed him.

It wasn't just her fear of being left alone that had prompted the fights, although she wasn't getting any younger and was starting to be dogged with niggling little ailments. Her biggest fear was for Joe himself. He had always had a tendency towards violence, and there was something cold and unfeeling about him. Something cruel. The only time it completely vanished from him was when he was with Amy, and if he was so far away from her, Sophia feared that it would take him over completely. He had insisted, though, that he would still visit regularly and that with his own apartment she could come and stay with him for a few days in the school holidays. She sighed. Amy had accepted it, she guessed she would have to as well.

Amy's friends followed her through to the back yard. She had never had her friends round for a birthday party and she could barely contain herself. Mommy didn't get sad now and she wasn't afraid about what she would find when she came down the stairs in the morning anymore.

Beth had moved back to Fillmore after she finished school and worked downtown in a fancy office. Amy had been to see her there once or twice but thought it was really boring. Of course she still spent a lot of time with Nana Sophie. Wednesday nights were pizza and movie nights, when they would eat Nana's homemade pizza and she could watch whatever she wanted on TV.

As she played with her friends, she was only half listening to their conversation. The other half of her was listening out for the sound of a Harley coming down the road. Her day would be perfect if Joe came. He hadn't said he would, but still she hoped.

To Amy, Joe was still a hero. Maybe not quite as perfect as she thought he was when she was just a baby, but a hero nonetheless. She knew he was going to live in Seattle and that it was quite a long way away. Nana Sophie had got mad and had cried when she thought no one was looking. But he had promised that they would still see each other and that she could go and stay with him. Amy liked the sound of that, but Mommy wasn't keen. She didn't really understand why Mommy was acting weird around Joe. Especially since she got a new boyfriend that they had to keep a secret for some reason.

Soon though, all thoughts of Joe disappeared as they played games and tucked into party food. Beth showed up in time to see her blow out her candles. It was an almost perfect day.

"So have you told Joe about your new guy?" Beth leaned on the wall with Maria, watching the festivities.

"Who I'm seeing has nothing to do with Joe."

"It does if he's planning on whisking you across the country." Beth frowned. "You haven't even told Amy, have you?"

"Beth, please. She'll find out soon enough."

Beth shook her head. When Joe found out Maria was planning on going to Florida, he was going to flip.

Joe parked the truck outside his ma's house. He guessed she would still be round Maria's. Letting himself into her house, he headed into the kitchen and helped himself to a beer. There was no way he was going round to Maria's while the party was going on. He loved Amy, but not that much.

He had only been there a short while when his ma walked in. "Joe!" She hugged him warmly. "What you doing hiding in here?"

"You really have to ask, Ma?"

She chuckled. "I guess not. Don't worry, the party will soon be over. Amy will be thrilled to see you."

Amy waved as the last of her guests drove away. As she turned, her eyes fell on the one person she really wanted to see. "Uncle Joe!" She giggled with delight as he picked her up and spun her round. She looked over to where the truck was parked. "Why you got the truck?"

"As if you didn't know. Why don't you go and look in the back."

She ran to the truck and came to a halt with a gasp. "A bike! Thank you, thank you." Her grin was so wide it could probably be seen from space as he set it on the ground. "Oh wow this is the best present ever. And it's pink. You are so cool, Joe."

"I know." He frowned. "You do know how to ride a bike?"

"I am eight, you know."

Maria came out and stood next to him as he watched her daughter ride up and down the street. "Thanks, Joe. She's been wanting a bike for ages."

"I gathered that. The hints she's been giving haven't exactly been subtle." He turned and resisted the urge to touch her. "You look great, M."

"Joe." She swallowed. "Please, don't."

"I'll be at ma's. Send Amy round when she's done." He turned and marched to this ma's house. Even now, after all this time, it killed him to be close to her.

Sophia smiled as he walked back in. "Amy like her present?"

"Loves it. Listen, Ma." He sat down at the table and pulled out a cigarette. "I've decided to put off patching into Seattle for a few months. Bay View is down on numbers
right now. They got three in the joint and they're spreading themselves a bit thin. I'm not patching in there, but I will be sticking around for a while."

Sophia smiled and kissed the top of his head. "I'm so glad. Have you told Amy?"

"Not yet. Like I said. It's only temporary. Barney has been in Seattle for the last couple of months, he's planning on making the move permanent. I'll be using his apartment for now."

"Never thought Barney would move away. He always loved Bay View." She smiled. "I always liked Barney. Is he still clean?"

"Yeah, pretty much. He's slipped a couple of times, but I'd say he's got it under control."

"Good to hear." She looked up as Amy walked in. "Hi, sweetheart. How's the bike?"

"It's the best. Jenny is going to be so jealous." She climbed into Joe's lap. "Can we take it to the park?"

"In the morning, sugar."

"You staying here tonight?"

"If Nana Sophie will let me."

"Course she will. Uncle Joe?"

"Yes, sugar?"

"Will you put me to bed and read me a story?"

"Ain't you a bit old for bedtime stories? Now you're eight and all."

"No. I've got The Chronicles of Narnia."

"Wow, I can hardly contain my excitement."

“Joe!” She rolled her eyes. "If you read to me, I'll give you some of my cake."

"Is it pink?"

"A bit. You could always eat it with your eyes closed."

"Yeah, I'll do that. Why don't you go and get yourself ready for bed, and I'll be round in a
while."

Okay. Uncle Joe?"

"Yes, sugar?"

"I really love my bike."

"Glad to hear it."

"Joe?"

"Yeah?"

"And I love you."

"Love you, too. Now go and get ready for bed."

Joe sat on the park bench, smoking a cigarette, watching as Amy rode around the duck pond, a huge smile on her face. He grinned as she approached him. "You having fun, sugar?"

She nodded. "This is the best bike ever." She climbed off and laid it carefully on the ground before joining him on the bench. "Can we get a hotdog, please?"

"Sure." He waited until she was back on her bike, then followed her to the hotdog vendor. His heart swelled as he watched her. If he had been told, all those years ago, that his heart would be stolen by another man's kid, he would have said it could never happen. It wasn't that he didn't like kids, it was just that they never figured in his life. Only Amy had managed to worm her way under his skin. From the first time she'd opened those baby blue eyes and smiled at him, he was smitten. Maria had never said who her father was, and he wondered vaguely if it was someone he knew. He shrugged. Whoever it was clearly wasn't on the scene, and he couldn't help feeling a tiny bit sorry for him. Who wouldn't want a daughter like Amy?

"C'mon!" Amy waited impatiently for him to catch up with her. She sighed as he rounded the corner. "I'm starving."

"You're always starving." Joe chuckled. She had always been skinny, and suddenly she was shooting up like a weed. It looked like she was going to be tall and blonde like her mom. Another real beauty. "Ketchup and mustard?" He shook his head as she smothered the dog. "Disgusting."

Ignoring him she bit into the hotdog and watched him as he ate his own. She loved it when she got to spend the day alone with Joe. It didn't happen that often; usually they would stay round Nana Sophie's or Beth would come out with them for the day. That was good, too. But having Joe all to herself was best of all. She wandered back to her bike, wiping her fingers on the napkin and throwing it in the bin. "Maybe you should get a bike, Joe."

"Nah, don't think so, sugar. I like my bikes to have engines."

"Can I have a motorcycle when I get older?"

"That's something you'll have to take up with your mom."

"You could teach me how to ride. It would be fun."

"Tell you what, sugar. We'll have this conversation again when you're seventeen."

"Will you still love me when I'm seventeen?"

"I'll always love you." Joe frowned; he knew that expression. Something was bothering her. "You gonna tell me what's going on in that head of yours?"

Amy shook her head. She was worried that when Joe found out about Rob, her mom's new boyfriend, he wouldn't come round any more. She really wanted to talk to Joe about it, but Mommy had told her she shouldn't. She climbed back on her bike. "Can we go to the swings?"

"Sure." Joe followed as she sped off. Something was definitely going on. As much as he didn't want to, it looked like he and Maria were going to have to have a little chat.

"Hi, sweetheart. Did you have fun?" Maria looked up from her book as Amy breezed in, followed closely by Joe. "Joe?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure. Amy why don't you go put a DVD on? Me and Joe need to have a little chat."

Amy did as she was asked. Joe frowned as she seemed to shrink into herself a little. "It's okay, sugar. We won't yell."

Maria led him out into the back yard. "Something wrong?"

"Not sure." He shrugged. "Amy seems bothered about something, but she ain't saying what."

Maria sighed. "I've met someone."

"Oh."

"He's nice, kind. Not like…”

"Me?"

She shook her head. "I don't love him like I love…loved you. But I like him." She looked at her hands. "I think Amy's scared you won't wanna stick around if there's another man on the scene."

Joe sighed and lit a cigarette. "He treat you and Amy okay?"

"Yeah. Like I said, he's kind."

"And Amy. Does she like him?"

"Yeah. She says she does."

"If he hurts either of you, I will kill him." He stood up and walked back into the house. "Amy?" He sat on the floor, next to her. "Your mom told me about her new boyfriend."

"Oh. Are you mad?"

"Of course not. You like him?"

"He's okay." She kept her eyes downcast.

"It's okay sugar. It's good that you like him."

"I love you, though." She shuffled closer, so her body was pressed close to him. "I love you best of all."

"Good to hear." He gently stroked her hair. "I love you too." Kissing the top of her head, he stood up. "I'm gonna have to go. Take care."