A Family Come True (20 page)

This time there was no question that something was disrupting the drape of the towel. Her hopes jumped right along.

“Darce, I don’t think—”

“I know everything is changing,” she said. “And most of it is out of my control. But this...this is mine. Yours. Ours.”

“I can’t start something with you, Darce. Not now.”

Damn the man. Did he have to be so noble?

“I don’t see it as a start.” She stepped closer, slid her hands up his chest. His mouth tightened but he didn’t pull away. “I’m thinking of this more as the next step on a road we started down a long time ago.”

“This isn’t a good idea,” he said, even as his hands snaked around her ribs. “We’re not thinking right. Not with sharing a room. Pretending.”

“I’m not pretending now.” She fitted herself more closely to him. The towel hadn’t lied.

“Darce, it’s been a crazy couple of days. We can’t—”

“You’re right.” She nuzzled his chest. “But what if I told you that I’ve been thinking about this for a lot longer than the last couple of days?”

“You have?”

“Mmm-hmm.” She stood on tiptoe, kissed the corner of his mouth. “And I think you have, too.”

“God, Darce,” he said, and there might have been more but his words were lost as she kissed him, really kissed him, all heat and need and melting into him. She gripped his shoulders and curled against him, kissing him again and again with absolutely no one watching.

“Darce,” he said against her neck. “God, Darce, I’ve wanted you so long, but I didn’t... I can’t...”

“Oh, yes, you can.”

His hands landed low, pulling her tight while his hips pushed against hers and the rush of need had her digging her fingers into his shoulders to keep herself upright.

“We should think this over,” he said even as he molded her to him. “Get our heads clear.”

“I’ve done enough thinking. I want to feel.”

“What do you want to feel, Darce? This?” He nuzzled her breast through the thin cotton of her nightgown, the heat from his breath shooting straight through her. Some sound slipped from her throat. She was pretty sure it was a combination of “don’t stop” and “yes, that,” but when he laughed softly against her heart, she knew he’d found the right interpretation even if she hadn’t.

He lifted his head and framed her face with his hands and kissed her eyelids. Lightly. Gently. His hands slid to her shoulders and he stepped back.

What the hell?

She opened her eyes. “Was it something I said?”

His thumbs caressed her cheeks. “Don’t take this wrong, because you’re driving me crazy six ways to Sunday and back. But we shouldn’t jump into this.”

“Jumping sounds pretty damned fine to me right now.”

“Me, too, but neither of us—”

“Christmas.”

He blinked. “What?”

“That story you told last night. About Christmas.” She flattened her hands on his waist. All the better to hang on to him. “Cady was asleep and that rain poured down and I was about ten seconds away from attacking you before you vaulted out of the car. So don’t you try to tell me that this is only because of what’s happened the last couple of days, because I have been thinking and wondering and imagining and dreaming for at least six months, North.” She hooked her thumb over the top of the towel and began a slow circle around his waist. “Haven’t you?”

He closed his eyes and breathed in before nodding, short and tight. Her thumb slid forward.

“Darce, I’m not saying no, okay? I’m saying let’s wait.”

“Six months, North.” Her free hand slid down his butt and crept beneath the towel. “I’m done with waiting.”

“What about Cady?”

“She’ll sleep for another half hour. And I put Lulu on the long leash outside with food and water.”

“I don’t want—”

She found the point where the towel was tucked into itself. He inhaled sharply.

“Okay. I’ve been wondering, too, okay? Longer than you think, and I don’t want—”

“You keep telling me you don’t want something.” She leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. “But from the way your towel keeps twitching, I think you do.”

“Darce...babe...I don’t want a quickie before Cady wakes up. I want to do this right.”

Her hands stilled as his words sank in. He was very obviously primed and ready, but he was willing to wait until he could make things special? For her?

But she had waited so long already. And life could turn inside out at any time. She knew that better than anyone. What if this was their only chance?

“Ian North, you may not believe it, but those words alone just made this the most special and amazing time ever.” Her fingers found the edge of the towel. She was one tug away from having him exactly the way she wanted him—naked—and two backward steps away from where she wanted him—on the bed, inside her.

His hand closed over hers. “I packed for a visit with my family, Darce. I didn’t think to bring protection.”

Oh.

For one crazy moment she tried counting days, but her brain cells were otherwise engaged. And while she was more than willing to take a chance on having sex with Ian, that was as far as her risk-taking would go.

They could step back.

But what if he changed his mind?

She could have a shower. Hit the drugstore. Spend the day in a buzz of anticipation.

But what if he spent the day thinking of a way to let her down easy?

She could wait a little longer, believe him when he said he wanted time to do it right, and then tonight, oh, tonight...

But thinking about the things they could do tonight had her knees buckling and her blood thrumming, and there was no law that said they couldn’t still have tonight, and after all, she deserved a few minutes of happy after everything that had been tossed at her and...

The next thing she knew the towel was undone.

“All roads lead to Oz,” she said. She wrapped her hand around that whole lovely length, and the switch was thrown. He growled something—her name?—and swung her in a circle, pressing her into the bed. Still in her nightgown, she arched against him, feeling the promise of everything that could be.

He yanked himself away, dropping to her side. She would have protested but his mouth was on hers and his hand pushed at her nightgown and why the hell had she worn underwear to bed? And then...then she was reaching and he was teasing and she was gripping and he was stroking and she was arching and he was licking and it was enough, it was good, it was building and sweating and heaving and then she was gasping against his shoulder while he shuddered within her grasp.

For a long moment all she could hear was ragged breathing—hers? his?—and the thudding of her heart. One bit at a time the world spun back into place, her senses returning.

It hit her that she was still in her nightgown. Sort of.

“Wow.” She dredged up enough breath to laugh. “You know that saying about the most fun you can have with your clothes on? I think we just gave it a whole new meaning.”

He hugged her hem back into place, smoothing it with a gentleness that sent aftershocks rippling through her.

“Probably better this way. If you’d been naked...” He stopped. Shook his head. And kissed her tenderly, lingering and nibbling while he pulled her close. She sighed and snuggled in, longing to yank off the sweaty nightgown but too limp to do it. Besides, he was right. Totally nude would be too dangerous in too many ways.

Her body was a lot happier than it had been for a long, long time. But she couldn’t help but wish that she had felt all his skin press against hers, felt him deep within her. Couldn’t help wishing that she could drift to sleep in his arms and wake up pressed against him to do this again, slowly.

Couldn’t help but wonder if, in her need to take control of one bit of the roller coaster, she had ended up stranding them halfway up the Ferris wheel.

CHAPTER TWELVE

D
AMN IT.
H
E KNEW
he should have waited.

An hour after Darcy had kissed his nose and dragged herself away to tend to Cady, Ian was outside pretending to run. He shifted Lulu’s leash to his other hand, dodged a giant thistle and stared at the river, seeing nothing. He had no illusions as to what had happened. He could tell himself he’d tried to hold back, but the truth was that his protests had been hollow. He could have walked back into the bathroom, asked her to leave while he put on some clothes, made a joke about not being dressed for company.

But her buttons had been undone, making him want to taste that bit of skin beneath his lips. She had given him that shaky smile and said she’d been wondering about kissing him. And then she’d tossed his Christmas story back at him, and even though he’d said all the right things, put up a show of self-control, that was all it had been. A show. After months of torturing himself, wondering and watching, he had checked his wish to do right by her at the door and handed over control to the wrong head.

“Don’t believe anything a guy ever tells you, Lu,” he said to the sniffing mutt. “We’re all dogs.”

She lifted her nose from the clump of grass she’d been inspecting and barked. He sighed.

“Sorry. No offense intended.”

She waggled her rump at him. So much for that apology. He was blowing it left, right and center today.

“I’ll give you an extra treat when we get back to the house,” he said. “Ma showed me her stash.”

At the word
treat
, Lulu bounded toward him, barking and leaping in a circle. He laughed despite his own idiocy and scratched behind her ears.

“Come on, girl. Let’s run.”

She picked up the pace, pulling at the leash while he stumbled in search of his rhythm. He used to do this path every day. Now every tractor rut and hillock of grass was an invitation to stumble. Between that and the way his muscles were still coming back from the deep post-Darcy relaxation, his so-called jog was more like one prolonged session of tripping.

He surrendered, flopping on his back on the grass. Lulu whined and poked her nose into his side.

“Sorry, girl. Today’s my day to crash and burn.”

He watched some clouds float overhead, listened to Lulu snuffling around his head and to the occasional deep blast of a tanker on the river. He thought about the morning again, reliving every kiss, every word, every touch.

Was it all bad? God, no. In fact, thinking about it had him wishing the day away, leapfrogging in his imagination to tonight, after he’d made a run to the store, when he’d have the chance to do things right. There had been some mighty sweet promise in those few minutes. He couldn’t wait to see how it played out with more time and less desperation. In fact, there could be a silver lining to all this. He’d have a hell of a lot more control tonight, when he’d be operating after a few hours of waiting as opposed to a few months.

A few months...

He frowned, remembering things she’d said. About wondering for a long time. About thinking about him since Christmas. Every time she’d said something like that, he’d lost another bit of restraint. Not because of the reminders of how long he’d been wanting her, but because—

“Shit.”

Because whenever she had pressed that body against his and whispered about time, it made him think of
her
last time. Of her and Xander.

He hadn’t given in just because he was too far gone to resist her. He had wanted to claim her. Make her his. And that line about wanting it to be special? Pure and total bullshit. He had wanted it to be the best she’d ever had. To make sure he left Xander in the dust. To drive himself into her and drive every memory of Xander out of her head.

You still think it’s just biology, dumbass?

“Lulu, that thing I said about dogs? I’m sorry. Seems I was insulting you guys instead of the other way around.”

* * *

D
ARCY FOUND IT
easy to keep her worries at bay while she changed Cady and gave her a morning bottle. The shower was more of a challenge, what with the nakedness and the soaping of areas that were still tender and practically glowing, but singing kid songs at the top of her lungs helped. If anyone asked she would say they were for Cady, who was waiting impatiently in her portable crib with an assortment of toys.

Oddly, getting dressed proved to be the biggest threat to her concentration. She fastened her bra and winced at the pressure against skin scraped by stubble. Pulling on panties made her remember the way he’d yanked the other ones down, not all the way, just enough to let him work his magic. She’d gone from thinking they needed to be off her immediately to flying over the edge, all in the space of one
Oh, my God
.

She felt as if she should go home and offer flowers to his blacksmithing tools for helping him develop such amazing fine motor dexterity.

No, her body was very, very happy with the way things had played out. It was just the rest of her that was unsettled.

Ian had an appointment at the dairy—another topic she didn’t want to think about—so once he left, Darcy spread a blanket on the grass and settled in with Cady, Lulu and her laptop. Did she have any real hope of getting work done? No. What with the dog, the kiddo and the Topics That Must Not Be Named, she would call it a win if she could remember how to access her email. But if she had the equipment at hand, she wouldn’t feel quite so conspicuous when Xander wandered by.

Which, as expected, happened about three minutes after they went out.

“Hey.” He lowered himself to the corner of the blanket nearest Cady. “Mind if I join you guys?”

Better not to answer that one honestly. Nothing would be served by saying,
Actually, Xander, you’re a very nice guy, but the more you hang around, the more I wish you hadn’t shown up and blown everything to hell.

None of this was his fault. He was doing exactly what her rational brain told her he should be doing. And if he hadn’t reappeared, would she and Ian ever have gone from friends to, well, whatever they were now?

Play nice, Maguire.

“Be my guest. You can stand guard over the creatures while I work.”