A Family Affair (32 page)

“I have just one thing to say to you,” she hissed. “If you have decided to turn yourself into some miserable martyr who wants to live his life without love, fine. Just don’t try to rub it off on everyone else. You don’t want to be happy. You don’t want to be content. You don’t want to feel complete. So be it, I’ll respect your wish. However, if you don’t learn to respect me and everyone else who wants love and fulfillment…”

Caroline took a deep, shaky breath, and George grabbed the moment of silence to step in front of Caroline, effectively hiding Rake behind him.

“It has been a long day, my love. What do you say we two retire to our room for the evening, and get a good night’s sleep?”

Fanny hid a smile as Caroline glared at her husband. Her mother didn’t appreciate George’s meddling when she would much prefer a little verbal slashing with Rake. But after a war of the eyes, she nodded, defeated.

Devlin and Fanny called out goodnights as the couple left the room, leaving behind a silent Rake with a strange, bewildered look on his handsome face. He was used to Caroline’s sometimes hefty temperament, but this was more than bad temper. This was something personal, and it seemed he was causing it.

Slowly, still looking somewhat dizzy, he rose and mumbled something that sounded like goodnight before he walked out, leaving his hosts alone for the first time since breakfast.

“Come here,” Devlin growled, and held out his arms so Fanny could walk into his embrace. She lifted her face to his, inviting him to kiss her.

He gratefully accepted her offer and gave her a kiss that made her heart sing like a nightingale.

“Devlin,” Fanny whispered into his mouth, and he lifted his head so he could see her face. His golden eyes warmed her with their heat, and she forgot what she was about to say, mesmerized by his beauty.

“What, dearest?” Devlin mumbled, as he let his thumbs stroke the soft skin of her chin.

His unusual show of affection made her knees go even weaker, and she couldn’t hold back a contented sigh. In this moment, she understood what Caroline had meant about fulfillment through a partner, as she couldn’t think of life without him.

She felt his hands and his breath caress her, and she knew in her heart this was it. This was the love of her life. Somehow, by a wonderful twist of fate, she had met the one person who lifted her heart and her soul toward heaven and made her feel complete.

He gave her a smile so filled with love she knew he felt the same way, though she wasn’t so sure he was aware of it himself yet.

He had a stubborn streak when it came to feelings, and she guessed she had only two choices. To wait for him to learn what was in his heart, or to tell him.

As she had an impatient streak when it came to feelings, she decided to share what was in her heart.

“I have something to tell you.”

Devlin didn’t lift his head from her neck. Instead, he started to place small kisses all over her cheekbone, and again she almost lost track of her thoughts.

But only almost.

This was important to her, and she took a step back, so he had to let her go.

“Devlin, please listen to me. This is most important.”

“What can be more important than me kissing you?” Devlin said with a grin, as he reached for her again.

“That I love you,” she blurted out, effectively stopping his stride. He stared at her with disbelief written all over his handsome face.

She had surprised him down to his handsome toes. The only problem was she couldn’t tell if he thought her loving him was a good idea or a bad one. The man stared, dumbfounded—but still magnificent. It was as if he didn’t understand what she had said.

“You do?” he whispered hoarsely.

“Of course I do,” she snorted, trying hard not to sound as insecure as she felt.

He blinked. And blinked again.

Fanny sighed. Her impatient streak really didn’t like this waiting around. She took the step back to him and put her arms around his waist. He still stared at her, bewildered, and she sighed again. “You can put your arms around me now and proceed with telling me how much you love me.”

Slowly, he lifted his arms and put them around her waist, and she put hers around his neck.

“And?” she urged, and his eyes started to twinkle, as he finally woke up from his stupor.

“And what?” he teased.

“Lord, have mercy,” Fanny sighed. “How much do you love me?”

Devlin couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “How can you be so sure that I love you?”

“How can you not?” She rolled her eyes.

His warm laughter surrounded them, and Fanny knew she would remember this moment forever. Standing in his arms, with his warmth showering all over her, made her feel special, and she knew this was for eternity.

They belonged together, now and forever.

“So?” she probed, and he gave her a look that clearly told her all about the wonderful feelings inside of him.

“I love you.”

“I know.”

This kiss wasn’t as hot as the last one. This lingering kiss wasn’t passionate at all. This kiss was all about love, and Fanny cried when he lifted his head again.

“I have something more to tell you,” she sobbed, as he gently dried her tears away.

“Oh? What can it be? Are you going to tell me how much I adore making love to you?”

She gave him a serene, almost holy smile, and he frowned back at her, as if he felt something wasn’t right. She lifted her hand and stroked his cheek to calm him before she beckoned him closer again.

“We are going to have a little baby,” she whispered happily, so sure she was bringing him the best news of his life.

Instead he froze, then ripped himself loose from her arms, glaring. Her happy smile vanished, and she stared at him with shock.

“Devlin, didn’t you hear what I just said?” she whispered, not believing he could act in this strange way when she had just shared her wonderful news. He seemed angry, almost overwhelmingly so.

“Are you sure?” he gritted through his teeth, and she saw his knuckles turn all white as he clenched his fists hard. She nodded solemnly, not knowing what to say or what to do.

He, who should be laughing, crying, or just going crazy with happiness, seemed only angry and distraught. He withdrew silently, backing until they had the entire seating area between them, as if he needed a barrier to keep himself from touching her.

“Devlin?” His jaw moved, but he didn’t say anything, and he seemed to be strengthening himself against her. “I thought you would be happy.” Fanny couldn’t stop her voice from trembling with agony, and she saw him close his eyes, as if he hated himself for being the one who hurt her like this.

“Why would I be happy?” he whispered, as he slowly moved toward the door.

“I thought all men with titles wanted an heir. I thought you would want our child.”

He ignored the last part, as if it hurt too much to acknowledge her pain. “Of course I want an heir, but not yet. Not so soon.”

Anger rose inside her, a twisted, unhealthy anger that consumed all her earlier happiness and left her an empty shell.

“You said you loved me.”

“I do.”

“Then why are you doing this to me?” she sobbed. “Why are you putting me through this nightmare? If you love me, you want our child.”

Once again Devlin ignored her pain and instead walked to the door and put his hand on the knob. For a minute, he stood silent, his back toward her, and she knew this was the last moment she had to persuade him.

Too upset to think straight, to find the right words, she whispered brokenly, “Don’t…don’t leave.”

She saw him take a deep breath, as if he needed to strengthen himself against her, and again that unhealthy anger came over her. “Go then,” she screamed. “Leave me!”

And he did.

Chapter 28

Fanny cried all through the night.

For the first time since their wedding, Devlin hadn’t joined her in her room. Instead she had spent the rest of the evening on the cold floor of her bedroom, her ear pressed against the door connecting her bedroom with his as she listened to his every movement.

Every time she heard him walk closer to the door, her heart started to beat faster in anticipation, but not once did he step all the way. She heard him talk to his strange valet, Bear, but never did she hear him utter anything that told her he was as devastated as she was.

What had she done wrong?

She didn’t know, and he hadn’t told her anything significant, nothing to give her the tiniest hint of his reason for treating her this way.

She was carrying his child, for goodness’ sake, and in her family, children meant happiness. Her mother had told her so many times how silly her father had been every time they were expecting a child. He had acted like a crazed lunatic, especially the first time, Caroline had said.

Fanny had spent the whole of dinner daydreaming about the different ways she could tell Devlin her news, anticipating how he would react.

She hadn’t been close at all.

When the first rays of light came through the large windows, she still hadn’t fallen asleep. She sat in her armchair and watched the sun slowly rise over the horizon, her hands resting on her belly in a protective manner.

During the long hours of the night, she had made a decision, and she wasn’t going to let her husband get away without talking to her.

Devlin had to tell her why he didn’t want the baby, and explain to her why he insisted on walking all over her heart. He was a good man. She’d instinctively been aware of that from their first meeting. She knew he would never do anything to hurt her without a reason.

She needed to know what his problem was, so she could know what she was fighting against.

She closed her eyes and sat silently, waiting for him to wake up. When she finally heard a noise from his bedroom, she rose and went slowly to the connecting door, taking a few deep breaths for confidence.

“You can do this,” she whispered reassuringly to herself before she knocked lightly on the door and opened it before she could change her mind. But instead of her husband, she met the startled eyes of one of the maids making the large bed.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Fanny apologized. “I thought it was Hereford. I hope I didn’t scare you?”

The maid shook her head, and curtsied before she scurried away, leaving Fanny all alone in the room.

Everything was in perfect order, not a thing out of place. Not like her bedroom, which was in a terrible mess since she had been moving about the whole night.

With one last lingering look, she went back into her own room and rang for water so she could freshen herself up. When she was appropriately dressed, she rushed down to the breakfast room, only to find it deserted. She continued to the library, and then to his office, but she didn’t find her husband anywhere.

Where was Devlin?

He wasn’t in any of his usual places, but as this morning wasn’t like any of the other mornings of her married life, she guessed she shouldn’t be surprised.

She continued her desperate search for her husband until Jarvis finally rescued his mistress from rushing hysterically all over the castle and told her His Grace had left for London earlier this morning, together with his valet. The man helped his shocked mistress to the breakfast room, where he made her sit down in a chair before he sent a maid for her mother, who immediately sent the servants from the room and sat down beside her daughter. As she opened her arms, Fanny slid into them with a devastated moan, crying all over her mother’s lovely morning dress. Caroline sat silent as her daughter wept, tenderly caressing her silky hair.

Patiently she waited for Fanny to compose herself enough to be able to talk about whatever was breaking her heart. They sat still for a long time, all alone, until Fanny’s tears dried, and she finally managed to sit up and face her mother.

“What is it, my dearest?” Caroline asked softly, and Fanny almost started to cry again. “Did Devlin do something to you he shouldn’t have?”

When Fanny shook her head, Caroline put her hands against her daughter’s cheeks and forced her to look her in the eyes. “Tell me.”

Fanny took one deep, shaky breath and released herself from her mother. She leaned back and closed her eyes, as she didn’t want to see her mother’s reaction to her words.

She was afraid her mother would be just as outraged as she was, and she wasn’t strong enough yet to face her own feelings, no matter where they appeared.

“Yesterday evening, when you all had left us, I told Devlin about the baby.”

“And?”

“He doesn’t want it, and now he has left for London. He has left me, and he did it without a word or an explanation.”

Caroline sat back, her confusion all too obvious.

“This is indeed a strange behavior from a man who should be exhilarated over the prospect of an heir.”

Fanny nodded, tears in her eyes. “What makes this even stranger is that I know he has deep feelings for me. Why he would do something this selfish is beyond me.”

“I need to talk to your father about this,” Caroline admitted gravely. “I need to get his perspective. Please stay here, sweetheart, and I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

She disappeared through the door, and Fanny heard her ask a passing servant to tell Lord Newbury to come to the breakfast room.

Ten minutes later, both George and Rake sat silently looking at her while Caroline gave them Fanny’s brief explanation.

“The bastard!” Rake spat, as he finally broke the silence.

“Indeed, he is,” Caroline agreed.

“He really meant it,” Rake added as though to himself.

“Did you think this actually would happen?” George asked, looking just as astonished as he sounded.

“Wait a minute,” his lovely wife said, frowning, but the men ignored her.

“No, I thought he would get over it once they were married,” Rake answered with a glance toward his niece, who, like her mother, was starting to get a little annoyed with the two men who obviously knew something more about what had caused Devlin to run away.