A Dream Unfolding (49 page)

Feeling awkward in the silence, she picked up the conversation.
 
“So, Mr.
Colter
, where do you hail from?”

He took the next plate.
 
“Texas.
 
Born and raised on a cattle ranch.”

His short answer did nothing to help her feel more comfortable.
 
With most of the boarders, a question like that would result in at least a ten minute answer.
 
Not so with Mr.
Colter
.

Trying again, she asked, “How long have you been out west?”

“Since late last fall.”

That’s it?
 
Four short words?
 
What a conversationalist!
 
Forcing the frustration from her voice, she kept her tone light, “What brought you here?”

Silence, except for the swishing of dish water answered her.
 
At least he could make an effort to answer, even if he found her boring.
 
Glancing his direction, she caught him staring at her.
 
Quickly his gaze darted away as he cleared his throat.

After several more dishes changed hands and just when Hannah thought he was not going to answer, Mr.
Colter
spoke, “After my father died, my older brother got the ranch back in Texas.
 
He and I got along as well as Cain and Abel, him being more like Cain.
 
My inheritance was half the herd, half the money, and half the breeding stock.
 
All I needed was land and I would have myself a ranch.”
 

Hannah almost stared in surprise—so many words strung all together coming from the quiet cowboy.

He continued, “My father talked about the Arizona Territory often during the spring before he passed.
 
Thought it would be a good place to raise cattle.
 
When my sister, Julia, was clearing out his things she found several letters about the territory.
 
The letters were quite detailed about this area and included information on the best route to get here.
 
I was surprised my father even received the letters, given that Texas sided with the Confederacy.
 
But somehow those letters arrived and somehow they were discovered just when I had to make a decision.”

He paused, setting the plate in his hand aside.
 
Turning his head, his eyes connected with hers.
 
“It might sound silly, but I knew this was where God wanted me.”

The circumstances that led him here could hardly be described as anything less than Providence, as he suggested.
 
“No, it doesn’t sound silly.”

“What about you?” he asked, taking the mug from her extended hand.

“I’m afraid my story is a sad one,” she answered, handing over another of the never ending supply of dishes.
 
“My husband was a doctor in Cincinnati, Ohio.
 
His brother ran into trouble with the law that left us ostracized by the community, forcing us to leave for a new home where Drew could continue to provide for us.
 
Drew learned about the Arizona Territory from the newspaper.
 
We originally thought to settle in La Paz but, on the way here, Betty and Paul convinced us this would be a better area.”

Hannah paused, staring at the mug in her hand.
 
“Like you, Drew thought the Lord was directing us here…only he did not know it would ultimately lead to his death.”
 
Her voice wavered on the last words and she stopped abruptly.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” he said, taking the last mug from her hand.

Swiping at the lone tear trickling down her face, she added, “What is done is done.
 
No amount of wishing or praying will change what happened.”

The silence stretched.
 
Hannah blinked several times rapidly, hoping to hold any further tears at bay.

Mr.
Colter’s
voice was soft and compassionate when he spoke, “You must miss him.”

The lump in her throat kept her from saying more than, “I do.”

As she stared into the dish water, Drew’s reflection appeared.
 
She missed those blue eyes, the laughter, the teasing.
 
The years in Ohio had been wonderful.
 
She hated that he never made it to their new home to see this beautiful land of his dreams.

A scuff of Mr.
Colter’s
boot against the wooden floor reminded her she was not alone.
 
Sighing heavily she said, “Thank you for your help.
 
I don’t think I would have finished before supper otherwise.”
 
She smiled, letting the sad memories melt away.

“Any time, Mrs. Anderson,” he said as he touched his hand to the tip of his cowboy hat.
 
Turning, he left the way he came, quickly and quietly, leaving Hannah to wonder about what the tall rancher said.

Chapter
26

Hannah rolled onto her side, stuffing her arm underneath her pillow.
 
Why could she not get what Mr.
Colter
said out of her head?
 
How could he be so sure God led him here?
 
Rolling onto her other side, she closed her eyes again, but her mind would not be still.

Did God lead her and Drew here?
 
It was a question too painful to contemplate.
 
Drew seemed to think so.
 
But, if it was true, did it mean God planned to take Drew?
 
Did He plan to leave Hannah here alone?

Flopping onto her back, Hannah sighed.
 
Light barely colored the sky, spilling in through the window as shades of gray.
 
Resigning herself to starting her day, she threw back the light cover and plopped her feet on the floor.
 
Propping her elbows on her knees, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes before standing.
 
Donning the gray work dress, fitting her sullen mood, Hannah quickly brushed out her long hair.
 
Then she slipped on her shawl without taking time to pin her hair back.
 

Picking up her Bible, she quietly exited through to the kitchen.
 
Opening the door to the outside, she took a seat on the bench Paul built next to the back of the building.
 
She sat there silently for a moment gazing out across the town square.
 
A gentle breeze tickled her face.
 
She closed her eyes and soaked up the early morning sun.

Opening her eyes she placed her Bible on her lap, reluctant to open it.
 
Since the baby died, she had not really been on speaking terms with God.
 
She didn’t understand why he would take her child and her husband.
 
It was so hard to be left behind.
 
Even though she spent most Sundays studying the Bible with Charles and Martha, she had yet to open the pages and seek him on her own.
 
She wanted to believe that God had some good purpose, some meaning for the tragic way her life turned out.
 
Yet, she was afraid to ask—to learn that there might have been no purpose at all.

Lord, if it was your hand leading us west, what purpose could you possibly have in taking Drew’s life and leaving me behind?
 
A lone tear trickled down her face.
 
The breeze lifted strands of her loose hair, carrying them over her shoulder.
 
Fragrant pine tickled her nose.

The stillness of the morning failed to answer her question.
 
Perhaps it was one that needed answering over time.

She desperately wanted to find her way.
 
Questions poured from the depth of her heart.
 
Who was she apart from Drew?
 
Was it possible that God had some purpose for her life—something more than just going through the motions like she had since Drew died?
 
What did the future hold for her?
 
Was it his purpose that she work at Lancaster’s?
 
For how long?
 
Would she ever have a family of her own?
 
Would it last more than a few fleeting breaths on the face of this earth?

Looking back down at the Bible laying in her lap, she opened it to the Psalms.
 
Eyes darting across the words, she read several chapters.
 
Over and over, one word stood out above the rest:
 
refuge.
 
And each time the word was mentioned, it was always in conjunction with the Lord being her refuge.
 
Though none of her questions seemed to be answered, the one she had not asked was.
 
She was not alone.
 
She had a refuge, a shelter in God—a shelter from the questions, from the unknowns.

Lord, help me to seek you as my refuge.
 
Help me to know you are with me.
 
Guide me in the path you would have me pursue.
 
Show me for what good thing you brought me here.

---

Will woke early, not used to the strange noises of so many boarders crammed into a small space.
 
Longing for the quiet, he threw on a pair of levis over his drawers.
 
Not bothering with a shirt, he stepped from the bunkhouse towards the outhouse.
 
When he headed back to the bunkhouse, something caught his eye.
 
Ducking behind a tree, he glanced past it to see Mrs. Anderson seated on a bench behind the dining hall.
 
Her face was obscured by her long strawberry blonde hair as her head was bowed.
 
Annoyed with himself for not taking the time to put on his shirt, he waited behind the cover of the tree for her to go inside.

Minutes ticked by and still she remained with her focus intent on the book in her hand.
 
The sound of pages being turned seemed loud in the early morning stillness.
 
Afraid he would draw her attention if he darted back to the bunkhouse, he stood still.
 
Such a private moment, and he was gawking at her, unable to take his eyes from her.

His pulse quickened the longer he stared.
 
She was lovely, attractive.
 
Something about her drew him in.
 
A flash in his mind’s eye painted a picture of her standing over the stove in his ranch house.
 
She seemed like she could belong there.
 
Inwardly sighing, he chided himself for such thoughts.
 
It was clear from their conversation yesterday afternoon that she still grieved for her lost husband.

Patience, Will
.
 
In time he would find a wife and make a family.
 
No need to spend too much time thinking about it and trying to fit every pretty, unattached woman into that picture.

Stifling a laugh, he thought back to what his mother had called him—brooding.
 
She said he was always working his mind over every little aspect of life.
 
Too much brooding, she said, was a bad thing, making a man put too much faith in his own judgment instead of seeking God.
 
His mother was right.
 
He needed to stop brooding over his loneliness and let things be what they would be.

Pushing away from the cover of the tree, he considered making a break for it when a commotion from the front of the dining hall drew her attention.
 
As soon as she was inside, Will ran back to the bunkhouse.
 
He donned his shirt and belted his revolver holster around his waist.
 
As he ran toward the front of the dining hall, he hastily buttoned his shirt.
 
Several other boarders in various stages of dress, guns in hand, followed him.

Two uniformed men carried a third into the dining hall.
 
Mrs. Anderson instructed the men to place their wounded compatriot on one of the tables.
 
Will stood by ready to lend aid, amazed by her ability to stay calm.

---

Hannah quickly recovered from the shock of three soldiers storming through the front door.
 
One of the young men explained they were on patrol south of the town when they stumbled across a gang of Mexican cattle thieves.
 
The altercation left one of the men with a gunshot wound in his leg.
 
Having assisted Drew with similar patients, she squared her shoulders and took charge.