A Dream to Call My Own (2 page)

“I’ll finish them, don’t you worry. Tell my sister I’m praying for her safe delivery. There’s nothing much I could do to help there, so it’s best I make myself useful here.”

Dave didn’t miss the look of worry on her face. She bit her lower lip and ducked her head as if to hide it from him, but he’d seen it nevertheless.

“I’ll stay here and see Lacy safely back to Gallatin House after the baking is finished. I know she’ll be anxious to be with her family at a time like this.”

Lacy said nothing, her expression unreadable.

Lacy couldn’t believe this turn of events. She’d come to get away from all her troubles, yet the biggest one of all followed her like a hound to the fox.

She put the last of the bread pans in the oven and checked the fire. Everything looked perfect. Stretching to ease the pull of her back muscles, Lacy felt a bit of relief knowing that Dave was occupied elsewhere. His father had given him the task of feeding stock in the west field. This area didn’t usually have so much snow, so Jerry hadn’t taken the animals to a different pasture. Instead, he’d brought them all closer to home to keep them contained within easy distance of the house. But this winter had been devastating. The temperatures had dropped so rapidly that large geese had actually frozen fast in the pond and died. Jerry had mentioned losing several pregnant cows, as well as a number of steers. It wasn’t a good season to be a rancher.

A glance out Patience’s kitchen window startled Lacy. It was snowing quite heavily. In fact, it was very nearly a whiteout. She hadn’t even noticed the wind blowing but could hear evidence of it now. The sound was mournful, almost like a cry. It was typical of the unpredictable mountain weather.

Dave came stomping in from the back porch. “It’s blown up a bad one.” He shook the snow from his coat onto the porch floor. “We’re gonna have to wait this one out.”

“What do you mean?” Lacy asked. She began placing already baked loaves of bread onto the table.

“I mean we’re not going to be able to head out to Gallatin House until this clears up.”

She looked at him and could see how red his face was from the cold wind. She took pity on him. “Want some coffee?”

He grinned. “That would be good. Maybe a slice of fresh bread, too?”

She nodded. “I’m sure your mother wouldn’t mind.”

Lacy hurried to pour him a cup of coffee. She put it in front of him as he took a seat at the far end of the table. “The bread’s still warm. It might not cut well.”

“I don’t mind. If you get me a knife, I’ll do it myself.”

She went to the cupboard and got a plate, then fetched a knife from the counter. “There’s fresh butter, too.”

Lacy brought the butter to the table, then hurried back to check the oven. She felt odd. It wasn’t that she was doing anything she hadn’t done at Gallatin House in serving Dave food, but somehow here it seemed much more intimate.

“Where are the ranch hands?” she asked. “Will they need lunch?”

“They’re off in the far west field waiting for calves to be born. Knowing Ma, she sent them with everything they’d need.

They’ll probably set a tent up by the creek. No doubt with the temperature dropping, they’ll need to hack the ice open from time to time in order to allow the cattle to drink.”

“They’ll stay out in this?” Lacy asked, glancing at the window. The wind was now clearly audible.

“They’ll rotate in and out. We’ve got too many heifers birthing this year to leave them alone for long. The hands will be fine.” Dave took a big bite of the bread and smiled. “Mmm.”

Lacy didn’t know why, but his delight in the impromptu meal rather unnerved her. She went to the wash pan and began cleaning up the empty bread pans. “I’m sure I can get back on my own. There’s no need for me to stay here after I get the baking done.”

“Are you afraid of staying here with me?” he asked softly.

Lacy turned and met his gaze. She made the mistake of looking at his lips for a moment, then turned away. “That would be silly,” she said in a voice that didn’t sound at all convincing.

“It would be,” Dave agreed, “but that doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid.”

“I simply want to get home and do what I can to help. Gwen’s having her baby, after all. I’m going to be an aunt. I only stayed here to relieve your mother’s mind.” Her hands were shaking so badly she had to plunge them into the water and hope Dave wouldn’t see.

“Look, the storm is bad,” Dave said. “We’ll just have to make the best of it. If the weather clears soon enough, I’ll get you home. If not, we’ll stay here.”

Lacy turned around so quickly that she flung water across the room. “You mean spend the night?”

“Well, you were already going to do that, weren’t you?”

“Yes, but . . . not with you here.”

He laughed and tossed back the last of his coffee. “I stay at Gallatin House all the time, and it doesn’t seem to bother you.”

It bothered her a great deal, but Lacy wasn’t about to admit it. “Yes, but there are other people there. Not only that, but you live in the annex. That’s a whole different building. But your folks won’t be here, and neither will anyone else.”

Dave leaned back with a lazy grin spreading across his face. “I know. Kind of intriguing, don’t you think?”

Lacy felt her cheeks grow hot. “Don’t you care that it will ruin my reputation?”

He laughed and folded his hands behind his head as he let the chair tip back against the wall. “Lacy Gallatin, you’ve never cared what people thought about you or your reputation.”

“Yes, well, I’ve never done this before.” She eyed the doorway, wanting only to run for the haven of the room Patience had given her.

“Done what?” he asked. It was clear he was enjoying her discomfort.

“Oh, bother. I’m not going to stand here and argue with you.” She turned her attention to the stove and felt the warm blast of air against her face as she opened the door. The bread wasn’t done, so she couldn’t even occupy herself with pulling the loaves out.

She straightened once the stove door was back in place. This wasn’t the deliverance from problems and emotions that she had hoped for. In fact, this was very much like a fascinating nightmare—one that she clearly wanted to escape but at the same time couldn’t help but be intrigued by.

Turning, she found Dave watching her closely. He wasn’t smiling anymore, and that was almost more worrisome. Lacy could take his teasing, but she wasn’t sure what to do with his serious side.

CHAPTER TWO

Gwen gasped for air. “But . . . what . . . what if . . . something goes wrong? We need . . . a doctor.”

“Nothing’s going wrong,” Patience reassured her. “The baby is nearly here, so there’s no time to send for anyone else. Besides, I’ve done this many times before. You’re doing just fine.”

“I don’t . . . feel . . . fine.” Gwen panted and looked out the window into the darkness, trying not to focus on the pain. Sweat trickled down her neck. “You know my . . . our . . . mother died giving birth.”

“Yes, but you aren’t your mother.” Patience wiped Gwen’s forehead with a cool damp cloth, then handed it to Beth. “Please get this wet and continue wiping her forehead.”

Beth nodded and hurried to the bowl and pitcher on the nightstand. “I hope my little one doesn’t give me this much trouble.”

Patience smiled. “Every baby is different in some way, but there’s always pain and suffering. You barely remember it afterward, though. The joy of the child just takes away the memory of the misery.”

Gwen, however, felt as if she were being torn in two. There was no possible way that she would ever forget exactly how bad this felt. She didn’t care if she ever had another child. Then Gwen was seized by the strangest urgency to expel the baby from her body. Almost against her will, she bore down. “I think it’s coming.”

Patience checked. “Yes, you’re very close. Keep pushing. Beth, forget the cloth. Come help your sister. Lift her shoulders so she can push down harder.”

Gwen couldn’t get away from the pain. It radiated throughout her entire body and emerged as a scream and desperate plea. “Make it stop!”

Hank heard Gwen scream from downstairs and looked up as he clenched his teeth and gripped the arm of the chair.
Things must be bad
, he surmised. “Is it always like this?” he asked Jerry. Major came to his side to offer comfort, but Hank ignored the dog.

Jerry looked up from where he was playing checkers with Justin, Nick’s nine-year-old son, by the fire. “Always. The first one’s the worst, though. You don’t know what to expect, and it all seems so overwhelming.”

Hank paced back and forth while Nick whittled. Nick seemed almost as upset as Hank and had nearly carved the piece of wood out of existence. Hank shook his head as their eyes met. “Next time, it’ll be you.”

“Don’t remind me.”

Jerry laughed. “You two need to settle down. There’s nothing to be gained by worrying.”

“I’m not just worrying,” Hank countered. “I’m praying, too.”

“Don’t you think the one kind of cancels out the other?”

Hank shook his head. “Why should it? God knows I trust Him, but this situation is more than I’m used to.”

“So trust Him all the more. I remember when Dave was born. I was all by myself with Patience.”

Hank thought he must have misunderstood. “You were alone? But I thought Dave was born back East, in the city.”

Jerry grinned as Justin jumped over his last two pieces. “Looks like you win.” The boy beamed. Jerry got to his feet and yawned and stretched.

“Dave was born during a yellow fever epidemic. There wasn’t an available doctor or nurse anywhere in the city. The hospitals were full of the dying. Even the midwives were either sick or off helping someone else. I sent for my mother, but she lived a good distance away, and I’d waited too long.”

Nick looked at the man as if he were crazy. “And you actually delivered Dave?”

“Yeah, I sure did. I was so naïve and wet behind the ears. Goodness, but we were just children having children. Leastwise, that’s how it felt.”

“What did you do?”

“I did what I could. I didn’t know a whole lot about birthing, but I learned fast. Dave was born easy as could be, but I wasn’t at all sure what to do about that umbilical cord and afterbirth. Patience had passed out cold, and I stood there looking at the baby and the cord and knew I probably needed to free him up. After all, I’d never seen an infant with all of that other attached.”

Hank laughed. “I can’t even imagine. I would have been the one passing out cold if I’d been left to deliver our child.”

Jerry shrugged. “You do what you have to. Patience came to, and I yelled at her.” He laughed. “I told her not to ever faint again, and you know, I don’t think she has. Even birthing the girls. Anyway, she was the one who told me what to do. She told me how to tie off the cord and cut it.” He gave a slight shudder. “Never want to do that again.”

Nick shook his head. “I hope that doesn’t happen to me.”

“I suppose a fella just has to be ready for anything.” Jerry warmed his hands at the fire, then turned and gave his backside equal time.

Hank thought of how horrible it all might have been had Patience not been able to come. He didn’t know what they would have done, especially since it had started snowing again.

“My mother showed up just after I’d finished cleaning things up, including Dave. She looked him over, declared him fit, and then congratulated Patience on delivering a beautiful baby. I was indignant. I cleared my throat and said, ‘I’ll have you know I did the delivering. She just pushed and screamed.’ ”

Hank couldn’t help but laugh. “And what did your mother have to say to that?”

“She told me I had the easier of the two jobs and needed to never forget that. I tell you, I felt mighty deflated after that.”

Nick chuckled and put away his knife. He held up the piece of wood, now hardly more than a stick. “Guess I’ve worried this enough.” He bent down and scooped up the shavings and tossed them, along with the remaining piece, into the fire. He was dusting off his hands when another scream split the air.

Hank reached for the banister but held fast. Patience had told him not to come upstairs until he heard the baby cry. He looked at Jerry and shook his head. “Why doesn’t the baby come?”

“Don’t worry. Babies have their own schedule.”

Hank blew out a hard breath and plopped onto the chair. “This is killing me.”

“I’m sure it isn’t doing Gwen all that much good, either,” Jerry said.

Hank grew a bit light-headed. “Gwen’s ma died giving birth.”

“Justin’s ma, too,” Nick added. “I keep trying to forget about that.” Justin came to his side and put his arm around Nick’s shoulders.

“You two are worse than a couple of old women at a Sunday social. Stop expecting problems. Some women do die, but more of them come through just fine.”

“But something could go wrong.” Hank leaned forward, his head in his hands. “I know she wanted . . . counted on a doctor being here. I let her down. If we were in Boston, I’d have the best of doctors at her side—no offense to Patience and her skills. I’m just not any good at life on the frontier.”

“Bah, this has nothing to do with that. Like I said, Hank, I lived in the heart of the city and couldn’t get a doctor to attend Patience when her time came. Things still worked out. And you’ve got my gal up there, and she’s had a lot of experience with birthing. Both having and delivering.”

Just then, they heard a cry. Hank wasted no time. He bounded up the stairs, hardly touching them as he went. Without bothering to knock, he crashed open the door to his bedroom and looked to the bed, where his wife had collapsed back against the pillows. Beth was wiping her forehead.

“Is she . . . are they . . .”

Patience looked up and smiled. “Mama is just fine. So is your baby daughter.” She held up the squalling infant.

Gwen opened her eyes. “Hank.”

Nothing sounded more beautiful to him than his name on her lips. He came to her side and sat down. Taking her hand, he kissed it gently. “I’m here.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a son,” she said with a weak smile.

“Good grief, woman, I don’t care about that. She’s a beautiful baby. I’m happy to have a daughter. I’m even happier to see you. How do you feel?”

She chuckled. “I’ve been better, but I’ve certainly been worse.”

“You’ve never been more beautiful,” he said, brushing back errant strands of hair from her face.

“I think I’ll go let everyone know about the baby,” Beth announced.

“Good idea. Let them know they’re both doing fine. Then maybe bring Gwen a piece of toasted bread and some of that nettle leaf tea I had you brew. That will help her milk to come in strong.”

Hank watched Beth go, then turned his attention to where Patience was cleaning his daughter. The tiny infant looked hardly bigger than a toy doll. “Is she extra small?” he asked without thinking that such a question might worry Gwen.

Patience laughed. “Hardly. She’s a fine size, and her lungs are good and strong. I’ll have her dressed and wrapped in just a minute, then you can hold her for yourself.”

Hank looked at Patience and then to Gwen. “I don’t think I should. I’d probably just drop her.”

Gwen patted his hand lovingly. “You’ll get used to holding her, and then you won’t think twice about it.” She drew a long breath and closed her eyes. “Goodness, but I don’t think I could move if I had to.”

Hank leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips. “Thank you for my beautiful daughter.”

She smiled without even opening her eyes. “Might I say the same.” It was more statement than question.

“What are you going to call this little girl?” Patience asked, crossing the room with the baby. She placed the infant in Hank’s arms without waiting for his approval.

Hank stared down in wonder at the tiny bundle. The baby looked back at him with an expression that suggested she was trying to figure out who he might be. He smiled and suddenly didn’t feel all that awkward at all. The infant’s eyes opened wide. It was as if she wanted him to take special note—they were the same piercing blue as his.

“Julianne,” he said, reaching up to touch his daughter’s hair. She had an abundance of light brown hair with just a hint of curl.

He looked up to find Gwen watching him. “You seem pleased.”

“I am pleased,” he assured. Hank placed the baby in Gwen’s arms. “She’s absolutely perfect—just like her mother.”

Gwen gave a chuckle. “I’m glad you think so, but we both know I’m far from that.” She ran her finger along Julianne’s face. “She’s so soft.”

Hank wasn’t a man given to tears, but he couldn’t fight against the dampness that clouded his vision. He had a daughter. Flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone.

“Is the baby ugly?” Justin asked, sounding almost hopeful.

Beth laughed and poured Gwen some tea into a cup. “Of course she’s not ugly. She’s beautiful. I’ll bet you were beautiful when you were born.”

Justin shrugged. “I’ve seen a whole lot of new babies, and they’re ugly. They smell bad, too.”

“Oh, Justin, you are just being silly.” Beth picked up the tray and headed toward the front room with Justin right behind her.

“There you are. I’ll take it on up. You deserve to rest,” Patience said as she descended the stairs.

“What’s our Mr. Bishop think of his new daughter?” Jerry asked his wife.

She smiled. “I think he heartily approves. They’re calling her Julianne.”

Beth made her way to where Nick stood. “I think it’s well past time for Justin to go to bed. I know I’ll be headed there in a few minutes myself. We were supposed to have a noon stage tomorrow, and while I can’t see them getting through this blizzard, I need to be up and ready. After all, I won’t have Lacy’s help.”

She frowned and turned to Jerry. “You don’t suppose they got stuck out in this on their way back to Gallatin House, do you?”

“Nah. Dave knows better than to risk it. Patience told me they couldn’t possibly have headed out before noon, and the snows started in well before then. Dave would have seen the problem right away and made sure they stayed at the ranch.”

“Poor Lacy,” Beth said. “I thought she looked upset when I told everyone that I was expecting a baby, but she said she was fine.”

“Why should she be upset?” Nick asked. “Babies are good news, not bad.”

“Yes, but I think she’s feeling . . . well . . . maybe out of sorts. You know, we’re married, and Gwen and Hank are married, and we both have children now. Lacy probably wonders what’s going to happen to her in the middle of all this.”

“Hopefully she’ll find someone and settle down,” Nick said with a shrug. “Nothing all that hard about it.”

Beth rolled her eyes. “Of course not. Maybe she could just order a husband from back East.”

Nick looked at her oddly. “Why would she have to do that? Dave’s already crazy about her.”

Jerry yawned and nodded. “It’s true. That boy has been gone over her for a long while now.”

“But Lacy doesn’t see it. She doesn’t know that he cares; she just thinks he likes to find fault with her.” Beth motioned Justin to come to her. “Look, you can read for ten minutes in bed. All right?”

“Do I have to go to bed now?”

Beth leaned down and gave her stepson a kiss on the forehead. “Yes. I’m going to call a school holiday tomorrow, but you’ll have to help me in the morning. And if the stage does manage to make it through, I’ll need your help then, as well.”

“But no school?”

“No.”

Justin headed for the stairs and let out a joyous cry. “No school!”

The adults laughed as the nine-year-old bounded up to his room. Beth smiled at Nick. “I’m going to get the guest room upstairs ready for Jerry and Patience, and then I’m heading to bed.”

“I’ll go warm it up for you,” Nick said with a wink.

Beth’s mouth dropped open, and she felt her cheeks grow hot. He hadn’t really said anything inappropriate, but the suggestion that they would share a bed seemed uncalled for. She started to say something, then decided against it. Jerry knew full well they shared a bed—they were married after all.
I’m
just being silly
, she told herself.

“You two are embarrassing me something fierce,” Jerry said, feigning disgust. “You’d think you were still courting.”

“Never got to court,” Nick replied. “Beth was in too much of a hurry. Did I ever tell you that she proposed to me?” He ducked just as a book sailed by his head.

Beth hoped her expression made it clear that if he wanted her help to ward off the night chill, he’d better be quiet and go about his business. Nick grinned and headed for the stairs.