A Dom's Dilemma (21 page)

“Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir.”

His frown deepened a little, but he nodded. “Call me if you want a shower. If I hear that water runnin’ and I’m not in here, you’re gonna be a sorry little girl. I promise you that, too.”

She pouted. “But you said–”

Giving her nose a gentle tap, he warned, “I can always change my mind, darlin’. Dom’s privilege.”

Isn’t that the truth, she thought, letting out another small sigh. “I’ll call if I need help.”

His frown turned into a full-blown scowl. “No, Kelly, you’ll call if you intend to do anythin’ other than wash your face, brush your teeth, do whatever you girls do to your face and hair, and pee. If I find out you’ve done anythin’ else, you’ll regret it.”

“Just pee?” she asked wrinkling her nose at what his words implied.

“Yup. Those are your orders. I expect you to call me in a few minutes. If you don’t, I’m comin’ to check on you.”

“Yes, Sir,” she replied with a submissive meekness.

Giving her a sharp nod in reply, he shut the door.

The morning continued pretty much in the same manner set by their bathroom conversation, with only a few skirmishes. Jim refused to allow Kelly any clothing, which she expected, although it still left her feeling oddly vulnerable for some reason. Possibly because she felt emotionally raw and exposed as well. She wasn’t ashamed of her body, but she wasn’t exactly proud of it either. And she didn’t strip in public or walk around nude unless she had no choice. However, choices were something Jim rarely gave. He wouldn’t even permit her to discuss the matter. Not only that, but she had to lie on her stomach with an ice pack on her butt for five minutes because she walked from the bedroom to the bathroom by herself, when he thought she was napping

The punishment hadn’t been onerous, though the ice did sting a bit in the beginning.

He fed her, watched some Saturday morning TV, played card games, and even shared the morning paper with her, all while she lay on her stomach as naked as the day she was born. She wasn’t precisely shy, so despite the fact it wasn’t her preference, being nude around him didn’t bother her that much. But she would have been happier if he’d allowed her some covering.

He got to wear shoes and clothes. He got to walk around the house any place he wanted without being accompanied. He even got to exercise on his treadmill and weight machines without an audience, which only bothered Kelly because she wanted to watch, but his equipment was set up in a room without a bed, so he refused her request.

She did feel coddled and cared for, although she still thought he took things to an extreme when he continued to insist he remain in the room if she needed to use the toilet for any reason other than peeing. That was re-crossing a line, she did not want to go over again. But he wasn’t giving an inch.

It was nearly lunchtime when he said, “I don’t give a damn if you are embarrassed, Kelly. That is not my problem. Havin’ you pass out in the bathroom is.”

“But, Sir,” she whined.

“No! You’re gonna have trouble sittin’, so you’re gonna need help.”

She hadn’t considered that, she admitted with a slight grimace. How
was
she going to do this?

Gently putting her apart from him, he crossed his arms and glared down at her. She was all-too-familiar with that look, and it never boded well for her. “I will consider lettin’ you go by yourself on one condition only….”

She wrinkled her nose. Things had been progressing so smoothly between them. He’d been standing at the edge of the bed in preparation to walk her down the hall and leave her to do her business, when she’d made the idle comment that she was glad he was at least permitting her some privacy today.

His warm hands encircled her arms as he stared down with a puzzled frown. “I gave you privacy this morning. So, how’s this any different?”

She’d blushed, then. She’d actually blushed like a school girl and shook her head. “It isn’t. I only meant it’s nice not to have you standing over me like you did yesterday.”

His fingers slid from her elbows up to her shoulders in a delicious caress. “You’re lyin’ to me, Kelly girl. And I don’t like it one bit.”

Though his voice was hypnotically soft, and his touch erotic, Kelly’s guilt kept her staring at the floor. She knew it was a giveaway, so she wasn’t surprised when he tilted her chin up. “What are you not tellin’ me? Why do you need to go to the bathroom right now?”

She shrugged. “I need to go.”

“Just pee, right?”

Wincing, she asked, “Does it really make that much difference?”

“You know it does.” He placed a hand at her elbow. “I’m goin’ with you.”

She yanked her arm free without thinking, then grimaced at what she’d done. Subs were not supposed to pull away from their Doms … ever. “But it’s embarrassing,” she whimpered, staring at the floor again, getting them exactly to where they were right now.

He stood less than a foot away glaring down at her with his arms crossed over his chest in full Dom mode. Realizing there was no hope for it, she tilted her head and gazed up at him through her eyelashes like a little girl. “I hesitate to ask, Sir, but what exactly is your condition?”

He narrowed his eyes as if considering whether or not he would tell her, then answered, “An enema.”

That brought her standing up straight again. “What! Hell no.”

“Twenty-five.”

Yeah, swearing was definitely a ‘no-no’ in his book. He really was keeping count and she was racking ‘em up big time.

“No, Jim!”

“Twenty-six.” She wanted to stamp her foot at him, but locked her knees tight and glared at the floor instead.

“Either I come with you, or you submit to an enema. Those are your choices, Kelly girl, and they are the only ones I’m allowin’.”

“Never mind,” she answered sullenly. “I guess I don’t need to go.”

He didn’t move, didn’t even blink. So she strode to her side of the bed, lay down on her stomach and pretended to go back to sleep. If he insisted on doing that again, she’d die from the humiliation of it. As she took a deep breath to calm herself, Kelly realized that the set up in his home wouldn’t be the same as at the club. Here, he couldn’t…. Peeking up at the headboard, she saw the rings.
Shit.
Looked like he
could
restrain her in here if he wanted to. Her butt clenched as she realized he still stared at her and waited. She would cry if he pushed her on this. She really would. He still didn’t move. Finally, she asked in a small voice, “You wouldn’t seriously make me do that again, would you?”

He arched an eyebrow and she had her answer. He’d done it before. And, if he thought it necessary, he’d do it again. He could easily force her compliance with a stern word, but perhaps he’d consider offering her a carrot instead … for good behavior. “How about a reward if I agree?” she asked.

The eyebrow arched even higher. “I would think pleasin’ me should be reward enough. The fact that it isn’t makes me question your commitment to me.”

Kelly’s stomach turned to lead. What was more important, his smile and pleasure, or her privacy? She hated this. “Maybe you
should
just tie me up,” she muttered, knowing she sounded like a sullen brat, but unable to help herself. “That would certainly make things easier for you, wouldn’t it?’

“Is that a challenge I hear, darlin’?” he inquired in a silky tone that oozed with masculine Domness.

“No, Sir. But I think it’s the only way you’re going to get me to willingly submit to that a second time.”

He leaned forward. “Although gainin’ your compliance by restrainin’ you remains an option, of course, I’d much prefer you gave me your willin’ submission.”

“I’m not sure it makes any difference … Sir. Either way I’m doing exactly what you want, am I not?”

“Actually, no. You’re not. By suggestin’ I tie you down first you’re toppin’ from the bottom. And that is not at all what I want. I expect you to do what I ask because you wish to please me. If that’s not enough…. Well, you can always fall back on your safe word.”

She peeked up at him to see if he was seriously offering her an out. “And will you consider things over between us if I were to do that, Sir? “

“Is that what you want?”

“No, Sir.”

He shrugged. “Well, it definitely won’t please me if you do it, but I’ll honor your choice without ending our relationship … this time” he added, putting extra emphasis on the last two words, making it clear the next time he might not be so forgiving.

“Thank you, Sir. I appreciate that.” She paused a beat, then added, “Pear.”

He gave her a nod, turned, and walked out of the room.

Well, that went over well
, Kelly snarked to herself, hitting her head against her pillow six times. Why did he have to be so masterful and demanding, and yet oddly gentle and caring with her? One moment stern and serious, and the next cute and funny? Oftentimes rigid and inflexible, while at others toe-curlingly sexy and yummy enough to nibble on? And why did Kyle ever have to choose him to be her Dom?”

Kelly held out until after her chef salad lunch, but she couldn’t stand the fact Jim wouldn’t smile at her, no matter what she did. He made an effort not to make all his replies clipped monosyllables, but she could tell he was put out with her safe wording an activity he considered well within her limits of toleration. Since he couldn’t dress her and send her home for saying it, he let her know of his dissatisfaction in other ways.

So, after lunch, she sighed and looked up at him. “Okay.”

He glanced over at her. “Pardon me?”

Nice and polite. He hadn’t said darlin’ or doll or even Kelly girl since their argument before lunch. Currently, they were playing cards, but she was losing badly since she couldn’t concentrate. He wasn’t cruel, or mean, or even sharp with her, as much as he was denying her access to a part of himself. The part she enjoyed most. The teasing, affectionate, masterful, sexy part that caused her insides to do pleasurable little flips.

“I can’t take it anymore. So, I’ll do whatever you want.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“Can’t take what, Kelly?” Jim asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Your displeasure with me.” Kelly stared down at her clasped hands. “I know you think I’m being difficult, and I don’t mean to be. Honest. It’s just … I really don’t want to do this. It’s embarrassing.”

“Perhaps. A little,” he conceded, but his tone remained cool and detached.

His distancing ate at her in a way that made her want to curl up and cry. “I guess I’m not a very good sub, am I?” she asked, struggling against her own feelings of inadequacy.

“Not particularly. No. You aren’t.”

“I want to be … for you.”

“Then you should do what I want, and what I ask, without playin’ games with your safe word, shouldn’t you?”

He was right. That’s exactly what she should be doing. So, why was it so difficult for her? “I’m sorry,” she said finally, tears running down her cheeks.

“Yeah. So am I.” He started to rise, but stopped when she put a hand on his arm.

“You didn’t hurt me the last time, but you weren’t angry then, either.”

“And I wouldn’t hurt you now, even if I was angry. Look, I’m willin’ to tolerate a lot, but I deplore a sub who uses manipulation to get her way. I have done nothin’ to abuse your trust, and I deserve your obedience. Your embarrassment, as you call it, should be insignificant when measured against my wants and needs. If you disagree, then you and I have nothin’ to say to each other.”

Nodding, she dropped her hand from his arm “You should punish me, then.”

“Yes, I should. But I don’t like browbeatin’ women into obedience. I want a sub to bend and give out of her desire to please me, not fear.”

Inching forward, Kelly pressed her forehead to the back of his fingers. “Please help me to accept and obey your wishes, Sir.”

He hesitated for a moment before drawing his hand back. She remained prostrate before him, crying silently. After a few seconds, he gathered up her cards and his own and put them away. Then he came back and patted the side of the bed. “I’ll want you over here, lyin’ on your left side. Can you do that on your own, or would you like help?”

Realizing he still hadn’t forgiven her, she sobbed out loud “Please, don’t. I said I’d try better to please you. Please, give me another chance, Jim!”

“Thirty-five.” He sat on the bed. “Tell me what you need, Kelly.”

She covered her face with her hands. “I need you to hold me, smile at me, kiss me, and call me darlin’ again. And I’ll try to do whatever you want in return.”

He lightly laid a hand on top of her head. “Shh. You’re getting’ all riled up over nothin’ now. I’m not angry, so just settle down and calm yourself.”

He continued to stroke her hair in the way she loved, which served to soothe her until she was only sniffling. “So, are you sayin’ my approval is that important to you?”

Smiling up at him through her tears, she answered, “Yes. It is. I hate disappointing you.”

He considered that for a moment, then nodded. “Good to know. Thank you, darlin’.”

“For?”

“For tellin’ me what it is you need.” His hand continued its gentle stroking motion that was both calming and sensual.

“I thought you already knew,” she confessed, accepting the tissue he handed her.

“I suspected, Kelly girl, but I make no claim to read minds.”

After blowing her nose, Kelly crumpled the tissue up into a tight ball. “I don’t want to make you angry again, but I really don’t want to do this, Sir,” she admitted.

“Yeah, I got that. However, it pleases me greatly that you’re willin’ to try.” Then standing up, he patted his side of the bed. “Now, while I get everything set up I want you to scootch your butt over here and relax. You’re gonna feel a lot more comfortable afterwards, I promise you.”

Though Kelly greatly doubted that, she reluctantly wormed her way into position and followed his instructions. This time, however, she realized how gentle he was when he did this with her. He praised, stroked, petted, and encouraged and it was nowhere near as bad as it had been at the club, but she still didn’t like it.

And once he began, he never left her side. Nor did he make any attempt to restrain her, not even when she grew restive. This time the only things that held her in place were his softly spoken instructions. When it was over, he removed the nozzle and gave her a five-minute time out where he ordered her to lie still and relax.