A Dom Is Forever (30 page)

He forcibly turned her back to the scene. “Look closely. Look past all your pretty notions of how we should treat each other in a perfect world and tell me what you see.”

She saw a man whipping a woman. That was what she saw, but she owed it to Lee to at least pretend to look. The scene was coming to an end. The Dom set aside his whip and strode over to the St. Andrew’s Cross, his hands working the ties that bound the sub. Her face turned up and instead of the relief Avery thought she would see, the sub gave her Dom a little smile and a wink and slumped into his arms as though all her strength was gone.

But that wasn’t a bad thing necessarily, she realized. Sometimes a person had to expend all their strength to get to a place where they could be taken care of. The sub nuzzled the Dom’s chest, her affection for him so plain it brought tears to Avery’s eyes.

She was being judgmental. Who was she to tell a woman how she should love? How she should get what she needs? Maybe there were as many ways for a woman to love as there were women walking the earth.

“What do you see, Avery?” Liam asked.

“I see a woman getting what she needs and a man who seems happy to give it to her.”

“Exactly,” Liam replied, relief plain in his voice. “If you don’t need this, tell me now because I am not going to be that fucking sadist who abuses you.”

She wasn’t sure she needed the spanking. Lee had smacked her backside a couple of times during sex, and she hadn’t had a problem with that. It had done nothing but get her hotter, more ready, but this was different. She wasn’t already aroused. She was disconcerted and a little scared.

But what had he given her? He’d been “topping” her all week. He’d forced her to slow down and be intimate. That intimacy had led to her beginning to look at herself in a different light, to give herself credit she hadn’t before. He’d given her more pleasure than she’d ever imagined, and she couldn’t discount that part of life anymore. It was important and necessary to her, and she never would have found it if Lee hadn’t placed firm boundaries on what was and wasn’t acceptable. He’d made her pleasure a necessary act to achieve his own and by doing so forced her to place a value on herself she hadn’t before.

How could she find power in submission? It seemed an oxymoron, but she was finding herself by giving up power in certain areas.

“I want to try.” She wanted to explore, to see how far she could go, and he was the guide in this new world.

“Why?” The word sounded a little strangled coming out of his mouth.

Why? That was hard and easy. Easy because she could come up with a very logical reason, but it was a lie. And a safe thing to say. “Because I’m enjoying myself.”

Such a lie and she was still a coward. The right answer was that she’d fallen in love with him, that he’d brought out an Avery she really wanted to be. She liked herself when she was around him. She felt powerful and strong when she wasn’t giving in to her insecurity. She adored him.

But she didn’t say it because she was deathly scared about the silence that would likely follow that particular declaration.

“You’re enjoying yourself? I guess I should have expected that. Well, I’m glad to hear it.” He didn’t sound glad. He sounded a little angry.

“What did I do wrong?”

His face cleared. He looked down at her with the polite blank mask she hated. She would rather he yelled at her than stared at her like she was a stranger and there was nothing between them. “Nothing, baby. Nothing at all. Come on. Let’s get the punishment portion of the evening done so we can move on to something you’ll enjoy.”

She followed him wondering all the while exactly what she’d said to put that look on his face.

Ten minutes later, she swallowed as she looked at the spanking bench Alex had directed them to. It was an oddly shaped thing with a long centerpiece that sloped down toward the head and four smaller padded arms and legs.

“I’m going to allow you to keep your clothes on this time. You can keep both the corset and the thong. I’ll work around them,” Lee said, sounding like he was being particularly magnanimous.

Her backside was going to be in the air and that teeny tiny piece of butt floss wasn’t going to cover an inch of it. Her big old cheeks would be right there for all the world to see.

She glanced over and saw Alex grinning a little. What was that about?

“Yes, love, he’s excited about watching you get your ass whipped because it means he gets a view of that juicy butt. He’s looking forward to it, and I’m thinking about tearing his eyes out.” Lee gave his friend a stare that would have caused Avery to run, but Alex just shrugged and kept his hand on Eve’s hair. The sub was back in her submissive position, but only after Alex had reminded her. The minute they had gotten to their destination, Alex had put a hand out as though that was their signal. She’d glared at him, too, so it wasn’t so surprising Lee’s stare hadn’t worked. Alex seemed to let it just flow right off his back.

Alex thought he would enjoy seeing her backside? She kind of wanted to ask but decided that would probably set Lee off. He hadn’t liked her saying something bad about herself. It was what had gotten her into this position in the first place.

He was doing this for her, she realized suddenly. She’d questioned her own desirability, and now he was putting her on display not for his pride, but for hers.

Her insecurity dropped away, and she looked up at the man who seemed determined to give her everything. “Will you help me get on the bench? I might fall.”

A smile lit his face. That pleased him. Helping her pleased him. Over the course of their time together, he’d gotten her into the habit of reaching for him. He held a hand out, allowing himself to be the balance as she lowered herself to the bench. It was thickly padded, but her breasts were bound and it seemed like the bench was meant to split them up in order to assure her comfort.

She would be precariously balanced with the corset on. She tried it and felt a little like a balloon trying to balance on a toothpick.
Darn it.
He’d said he was allowing her to keep her clothes, not that he was demanding it. He was making her choose. Safety and comfort over her own insecurity.

“Is something wrong?” Lee asked, his voice rising in anticipation.

She frowned. He knew exactly what was wrong, the bastard. He’d spent a week helping her to learn how to let go so she could experience pleasure at its fullest and now he was testing her. What side of Avery would win, he was likely wondering. The one who was afraid to show her body off to a bunch of people who really didn’t matter or the sexy thing who wanted her pleasure and to please her Master? If she kept the corset on, she might be able to save her pride, but she would just be enduring the experience until she could get back up. Or she could do what she’d come here to do. She could explore and figure out where she wanted to be.

She managed to sit back up, well aware everyone was waiting on her. “Sir, can I please take the corset off? I won’t be able to concentrate on the sensation if I’m worried about my balance.”

He stared down at her, one eyebrow arching. “It’s going to make your boobs hang, you understand that?”

She had large breasts and they would hang like pendulums off the sides of the bench. They wouldn’t be perky and petite, but if he wanted perky and petite, then he wouldn’t be here with her. If he needed small, lovely breasts to get him hot, he should not have thought about asking her to be his sub. He liked her breasts. He touched them all the time. He couldn’t seem to wait to get his mouth on them. That was what she needed to think about, not what anyone else would see. “I think you’ll like watching them sway, Sir.”

A brilliant smile crossed his face banishing the distant Dom and bringing back the man who cuddled close to her at night. “The girl learns. Come here and let me get that off you.”

His hands made quick work of the corset, much faster than Eve had gotten her into it. Her breasts swung free, and she could breathe again. And she was more than half naked in front of a crowd. Liam handed the corset off to Alex, and Avery looked around the space. They’d seemed to be alone, but now at least twenty people were standing around ready to watch the scene, including Lee’s big blond friend Ian. He was looking at her boobs, and he didn’t look like he was about to barf. “Where did they come from?”

“Hey, word gets around that a hot scene is about to play out. People come out of the woodwork,” Lee explained. “I think they’ll call this particular scene ‘hot little virgin gets her ass spanked and more.’”

“I’m not a virgin, Lee,” she corrected.

“How little you know, baby. Your pussy isn’t the only place a cock can go. Are you telling me you’ve had anal sex?”

She shook her head. She should have known this was coming. His fingers had strayed there before, brushing across her asshole and pressing lightly in. It had been a dark, forbidden sensation. “No, I haven’t.”

“I’m going to claim it, Avery. Your asshole is going to be mine. I’m going to fuck you every way I can and don’t think I won’t make you love it. Every inch of your body is going to belong to me.” His fingers came out to trace the line of her breastbone. “I can punish you in more pleasurable ways. Trust me, Avery. Let me show you off. Let me show them just how hot my sub is.”

She was standing in front of a roomful of strangers, and it didn’t matter because all that mattered was the pleasure they could find together. Maybe this was for him, too. Maybe he got hot at the thought of showing her off. “Yes, Sir.”

“That’s what I want to hear.” He helped her down again. This time she eased onto the bench, the leather soft on her skin. It wasn’t a shiny leather. It was buttery and comfortable, so much nicer than before. This was how it should have been the whole time.

“You don’t need these anymore,” Lee said, his fingers delving under her panties and pulling them taut.

She gasped a little as they came off. She turned and saw he’d cut them off her. He handed a small knife back to Alex, who seemed to be serving as his assistant torturer. Lee tossed her thong away. She wouldn’t be getting that back. She was naked and on stage, and there was a little part of her that was getting soft and wet and warm. No one had run screaming. No one was laughing. There was a sort of warm appreciation she felt, as though she was surrounded by people who wouldn’t judge her, wouldn’t toss her out because she wasn’t perfect.

She turned her cheek to rest on the bench and looked at them. Besides Lee’s friends, they were a rather motley group. Some were bigger than normal, others had somewhat plain faces. An older couple, the man balding with a little paunch to his belly, held the hand of a gray-haired sub. They smiled at her, approval on their faces.

This wasn’t about perfection. This was about acceptance. These people accepted themselves, and that seemed to make it easy to accept her.

A sense of peace came over her. Whatever happened, it would be all right because he was right here with her.

“What’s your safe word, Avery?” Lee asked. He looked down at her, but she couldn’t look beyond the enormous erection he was sporting. It tented his leathers and seemed to block out all the other sights. He chuckled. “Yeah, I’ve been that way since I first realized I was going to get to smack your ass, baby. Ignore him for now. He’ll come into play later. Now answer the question. What’s your safe word?”

A safe word, she’d learned, was a word that once uttered by a sub stopped all action. Whatever the Dom was doing, once that safe word was out, he would stop and help the sub. “Telephone.”

“Good.” He held a length of rope in his hand. “I’m tying you down, but I can have you out in ten seconds if it bothers you.”

She wasn’t worried. He’d played around with ropes the night before, lightly tying her to the bed before he’d put his mouth on her pussy and made her scream. He made short work of it, binding her hands and feet to the bench. She could wiggle her limbs, but she couldn’t escape. She was utterly helpless. He could do anything he wanted with her.

She should be afraid, but all she could think about was the fact that he had the filthiest mind, and she couldn’t wait to see what he did.

“It’s a count of thirty for talking bad about yourself,” Lee said.

She heard a murmur of disapproval go through the crowd. Yep, these were not people who wanted to listen to her complain about her cellulite. She would have to come up with better conversation starters than that.

And then she nearly screamed because his hand met the cheeks of her ass, and it wasn’t the little slap she’d gotten before. Fire flared across her skin because that smack had meant business.

“That’s one, baby,” Lee said, his hand holding the heat to her cheek. “And this is two.”

She gasped, the air threatening to leave her body as he smacked her again. Pain screamed along her system, but if he thought she was giving in over that pain, he was insane. She wasn’t a lightweight when it came to this. Ten years, seventeen surgeries, each one more painful than the last, and each of those horrible incidents had led to one thing.

Walking. Living. Surviving.

And there hadn’t even been a mega orgasm with the world’s hottest man at the end of those surgeries. She felt a smile cross her face. Yeah, she could handle him.

Three came like a crack of thunder, but she was more confident now. Her skin was singing, with ache and pain and a weird heat that was starting to build. Sure, some pain was just torture, but some pains, oh, some pains reminded her that she was alive.

Some pains took her away from herself. All the misery of the day slipped away. She didn’t have to think about what had happened with her in-laws here. It didn’t matter. Here she could be in the moment and not worry about the past or the future. She could be in the present, and the present was all about feeling. Tears slipped from her eyes, but they felt cleansing.

By the time he counted out fifteen, she was sure she’d found something wonderful. Her backside ached, but Lee was careful to never hit her in the same place more than a few times. He peppered the spanking across her bottom, spreading the heat all along her skin.