A Doctor to Remember (7 page)

She ran her hands over him, loving the feel of him. Elation was sweeping through her, the ecstasy of his kisses sending a fever through her blood and leaving her heady with desire—a desire that seemed altogether familiar all at once. She needed him, wanted him.

Had she been wrapped in his arms this way at another time? Her feelings for him were so strong…She loved being with him this way, feeling the thunder of his heartbeat beneath her fingers—could it be that she simply couldn’t help falling for him? He’d been so caring, so supportive and understanding of her. Or was there more to it…had she felt this way for him long before this, before her memory had been wiped out?

‘You’re so beautiful, Saffi,’ he whispered, his voice choked with passion. ‘It’s been so tough, being with you again after all this time, longing to hold you…and yet…I just can’t help myself…’

He broke off, kissing her again, his hands moving over her, tracing a path along her spine, over the rounded swell of her hip, down the length of her thigh. It felt so good to have him touch her this way. It felt right…as though this was how it should be.

Her hand splayed out over his shoulder, feeling the strength beneath her palm. ‘I want you, too,’ she said. She ached for him, but her mind was suddenly spinning with unanswered questions. ‘What happened to us, Matt? After all this time, you said…were we together back then?’

A look of anguish came over his face. ‘In a way,’ he said.

‘In a way…?’ She broke away from him, looking at him in bewilderment. ‘What do you mean? What kind of answer is that?’

‘I can’t…’ He seemed to be waging some kind of inner battle, struggling to get the words out, and finally he said in a jerky, roughened voice, ‘I can’t tell you how it was. I’m sorry, but…’ he sucked in a deep breath ‘…I think this is something you need to remember for yourself.’

His eyes were dark with torment. ‘I shouldn’t have kissed you. I don’t want to take advantage of you, Saffi…and perhaps for my own self-preservation I should have held back. I should have known better.’

She stared at him in bewilderment. What did he mean when he talked about self-preservation? What was so wrong in them being together—was he so determined against commitment? What was it he’d said before—
once bitten?
Had he been so badly hurt in the past that he didn’t want to risk his heart again? But as she opened her mouth to put all these questions to him, his phone began to ring.

At the same time Ben came out of the house, look- ing indignant. ‘I thought we were going to the hospital to see Mummy?’ he said crossly. ‘You’ve been ages.’

Matt braced his shoulders. ‘We’ll go soon,’ he told the little boy.

‘Do you promise?’

‘I promise.’ He looked at Saffi and held up the phone, still insistently ringing. ‘I’m sorry about this,’ he said on a resigned note. ‘It might be about the girl in the rid- ing accident.’

‘It’s all right. Go ahead.’ She was deeply disappointed and frustrated by the intrusion, but she took Ben’s hand and started towards the house.

The moment of closeness had passed. He might not be forthcoming about what had gone on between them before, but whatever his reasons one thing was for sure…it was much too late now for her to guard against falling for him. She had so many doubts and worries about him, but he’d grown on her and she didn’t want to imag- ine life without him. She was already in love with him.

He pressed the button to connect his call. ‘Hello, Gina,’ she heard him say, and her heart began to ache.

‘C
AN I DO
that?’ Ben watched Saffi as she picked runner beans, carefully dropping them one by one into a trug. It was the weekend and the sun was shining, and the only sounds that filled the air were birdsong and the quiet drone of bees as they went about their business. A warm breeze rippled through the plants, mak- ing the leaves quiver.

‘Of course you can. Here, let me show you how to do it. We snap them off where the bean turns into stalk—like this, see?’ He nodded and she added, ‘Why don’t you try picking some of the lower ones and I’ll do these up here?’

‘Okay.’

They worked together amicably for a while, with Ben telling her about his visits to the hospital. ‘Mummy’s still poorly,’ he said. ‘She’s got lots of…um…acid…inside her, and it’s hurting her. They don’t know why she’s got it.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that, Ben. But the doctors are look- ing after her, and I’m sure they’ll soon find out what’s causing her to be poorly.’

‘Yeah.’ His eyes grew large. ‘Uncle Matt says they’re going to take some pictures of inside her tummy.’

‘That’s good. That should help them to find out what’s wrong.’ Saffi guessed he meant they were going to do a CT scan. She winced inwardly. That sounded as though they suspected something quite serious was going on.

‘Hi, Saffi.’ Matt came to join them in the garden, and immediately she felt her pulse quicken and her stomach tighten. He was dressed in casual clothes, dark chinos and a tee shirt in a matching colour, and it was easy to see why women would fall for him. His biceps strained against the short sleeves of his shirt and his shoulders were broad and powerful. He looked like a man who would take care of his woman, protect her and keep her safe.

‘Hi.’ She tried to shut those images from her mind, but even so her heart turned over as she recalled the meeting between him and the nurse. They’d known each other for a long time, and from the tension that had sparked between them she guessed there was still a good deal of charged emotion on the loose.

‘It’s a beautiful day,’ she said, trying to get her thoughts back onto safer ground. ‘Do you have plans for today, or are you on call?’

He shook his head. ‘I don’t have any plans. It’s not really possible to make any while I’m looking after Ben.’ He sent her a thoughtful, hopeful glance. ‘I suppose we could all go down to the beach after breakfast, if you’d like to come with us?’

‘Yay!’ Ben whooped with excitement. ‘Come with us, Saffi.’

Saffi smiled at the four-year-old. He hadn’t said a lot to her over these last few days, being quiet and introspective, but if he wanted her to go with them, that was a heartening sign. It made her feel good inside to know that he had warmed to her.

‘I’d like that,’ she said. She sent Matt a questioning glance. ‘What would you be doing if you didn’t have to look after Ben? How do you usually spend your weekends?’ She didn’t know much about his hobbies or interests, but from the looks of him he must work out quite a bit at the gym.

He shrugged. ‘Sometimes I swim—in the sea, or at the pool—or I might play squash with a friend. I go to the gym quite often. On a day like this, when there’s a breeze blowing, a group of us like to go kite-surfing at a beach a bit further along the coast. There’s a good southerly wind there and a decent swell.’

‘Kite-surfing? I’m not sure if I know what that is.’

‘You go out on the sea on a small surfboard, and with a kite a bit like a parachute. The wind pulls you along. It’s great once you’ve mastered the skill.’

Her mouth curved. ‘It sounds like fun. Why don’t you join your friends? I’ll look after Ben on the beach. We can watch the surfing from there. What do you think, Ben?’

‘Yeah.’ He was smiling, looking forward to the trip.

Matt frowned. ‘I can’t do that. It’s too much to ask of you.’

‘No, it’s fine, really.’ She started to move away from a doctor to remember the vegetable garden, but at the same time Ben went to Matt to tug on his trousers and claim his attention.

‘I want to see the kites…please, Uncle Matt,’ Ben pleaded.

Saffi sidestepped him, trying to avoid a collision, and caught her heel against one of the bean canes.

‘Ouch!’ She felt a stab of pain as she untangled her foot from the greenery.

‘What is it? Have you twisted your ankle?’ Matt looked at her in concern, reaching out to clasp her arm as she tried to look behind her at her calf.

She shook her head. ‘No. It’s a bee sting.’

‘Come into the house. I’ll have a look at it.’ He turned to Ben, who was watching anxiously. ‘She’ll be fine, Ben. Bring the trug, will you? Can you manage it?’

‘Yes, I’m strong, see?’ The little boy picked up the basket and followed them into the house.

‘Sit down.’ Matt showed her into the kitchen and pulled out a chair for her at the table. He reached for a first-aid kit from a cupboard and brought out a pair of tweezers. ‘Let’s get that sting out. Put your leg up on this stool.’

She did as he suggested. She was wearing cropped cargo pants, and he crouched down and rolled them back a little to expose the small reddened, inflamed area where the bee had stung her. Then he carefully pulled out the sting with the tweezers. Ben watched every move, his mouth slightly open in absorbed concentration.

‘Okay, now that’s out, we’ll get something cold on the leg to help take down the swelling.’ He fetched a bag of frozen peas from the freezer and laid it over the tender area. ‘Are you all right?’

‘I’m fine.’ She made a wry face. ‘It’s not a good start to my beekeeping, is it?’

He smiled. ‘I expect you disturbed it. They don’t usually sting if you’re calm with them and keep your movements slow. When you’re working with the hives it might help if you go to them between ten o’clock and two in the afternoon, when most of the bees are busy with the flowers…and make sure you always wear protective clothing. That’s what Annie told me.’

He looked at her leg, lifting the frozen plastic bag from her. ‘That’s not quite so inflamed now. I’ll rub some antihistamine cream on it, and it should start to feel easier within a few minutes.’

‘Thanks.’ She watched him as he smoothed the cream into her leg, his head bent. He was gentle and his hands were soothing, one hand lightly supporting her leg while he applied cream with the other. She could almost forget the sting while he did that. She studied him surreptitiously. His black hair was silky, inviting her to run her fingers through it.

‘How are you doing?’ He lifted his head and studied her, and she hastily pulled herself together. She felt hot all over.

‘I’ll be okay now. Thanks.’

‘Good.’ He held her gaze for a moment or two as though he was trying to work out what had brought colour to her cheeks, and then, to her relief, he stood up. ‘Do you want to stay and have breakfast with us, and then we’ll head off to the beach? I’m not sure what we’re having yet. Toast and something, maybe.’

‘That sounds good.’ She straightened up and made herself think about mundane things. It wouldn’t do her any good to think about getting close up and personal with Matt. Look what had happened last time. He was fighting his own demons, and she was worried about all the other women who might try to take her place.

‘I could take Ben with me to collect some eggs. How would that be?’ She stood up.

‘Dippy eggs and toast soldiers!’ Ben whooped again and licked his lips in an exaggerated gesture. ‘I love them.’

‘Sounds good to me,’ Matt agreed. ‘But are you sure you don’t want to rest your leg for a bit longer?’

‘I’ll be fine. Why don’t you ring your friend and make arrangements to do some kite-surfing? We’ll be back in a few minutes.’

She collected a basket from her kitchen and took Ben with her to the hen coop. There she lifted the lid that covered the nesting boxes and they both peered inside.

‘I can see two eggs,’ he said happily, foraging amongst the wood shavings. ‘And there’s some more.’ He looked in all the nest boxes, carefully picking out the eggs and laying them in the basket. He counted them, pointing his finger at each one in turn. ‘There’s six.’

‘Wow. We did well, didn’t we?’ Saffi closed the lid on the coop and made everything secure once more. ‘Let’s go and wash these and then we’ll cook them for breakfast.’

‘Yum.’ Ben skipped back to the house, more animated than she’d seen him in a while.

Over breakfast they talked about kite-surfing for a while, and about how Saffi was coping with the dayto-day running of the property.

‘It’s fine,’ she said. ‘It’s quite easy once you get into a routine—but, then, I’m not going out to work at the moment, so that makes a big difference.’

Thinking about that, she looked over to Ben. Keeping her voice low she said, ‘At least you must be able to see your sister every day, with working at the hospital. How is she? Have they managed to find out what’s causing her problems? Could it be anything to do with stress, with the marriage problems, and so on?’

‘It’s always possible, I suppose. But they’re still doing tests—she’ll be going for a CT scan on Monday.’

‘It must be a worry for you. Do you manage to get together with your parents to talk things through?’

He nodded. ‘They’ve been coming over here to visit her as often as they can. I think my mother will have Ben to stay with her next weekend.’

‘That should give you a bit of a break, at least, and I expect Ben will look forward to staying with his grandmother for a while.’

She glanced at the boy, who was placing the empty top piece of shell back onto his egg. He was getting ready to bang it with his spoon.

‘Humpty Dumpty,’ he said, and they both smiled.

Still dwelling on news from the hospital, Saffi asked, ‘Have you heard anything more about the girl who fell from her horse? How’s she doing?’

‘She’s had surgery to stabilise the neck bones, and she’s on steroids to bring down the inflammation, as well as painkillers. They’ll try to get her up and about as soon as possible to make sure she makes a good recovery. I think she’ll be okay. She’s young and resilient and she has a lot of motivation to get well again.’

‘That’s a big relief.’

‘Yes, it is.’ He seemed pensive for a second or two, and Saffi wondered what was going through his mind.

She glanced at him and said tentatively, ‘At the hospital, you seemed quite surprised to see the nurse…Gina. I had the feeling…were you and she a couple at one time?’

Perhaps they still were, or maybe he was planning to resume their relationship…Her mind shied away from the thought.

His mouth flattened. ‘We dated for a while.’

‘Oh.’ She absorbed that for a moment or two. Wasn’t it what she had expected? ‘Did something happen to break things up? I suppose you moved to different parts of the country?’ And now they were reunited once more in Devon…what was there to stop them taking up where they had left off? A shiver of apprehension ran down her spine.

‘Gina wanted to take things to a more serious level.’ He grimaced. ‘I wasn’t looking for anything more than a fun time.’

She winced inwardly. Was this the way he treated all women? Hadn’t he admitted as much? As far as she and Matt were concerned, at least he’d had the grace to say he didn’t want to take advantage of her.

‘That must have been upsetting for her.’

‘Yes, I guess it was.’

She frowned. She couldn’t see him simply as a man who played the field without any consideration for the feelings of the girls he dated. But if he did, there must surely be a reason for his behaviour. She didn’t want to see him as a man who was only interested in seducing women with no thought for the consequences.

They finished breakfast and cleared away the dishes, and Matt started to get his kite-surfing gear together.

‘I hope you’re all right with this,’ he said. ‘We’re usually on the water for about an hour.’

‘I can keep Ben amused for that long, I’m sure.’ She smiled. ‘Are we about ready to go? I think the waiting’s too much for him. He’s running around like a demented bee.’

Matt laughed, and a few minutes later he crammed his kite and small surfboard into the back of the rapidresponse car and they set off.

‘How can you answer an emergency call if you’re out on the water?’ she asked with a quizzical smile as he drove along the coast road.

‘I can’t. I’d have to turn them down, and ask them to find someone else to go in my place, but if anything should happen when I’m back on dry land I’ll be prepared. Usually I get to enjoy my weekends, but you never know.’

They went a few miles down the road until they arrived at the surfers’ beach, a sandy cove, bound by rugged cliffs that were covered with lichens and here and there with moor grass and red fescue.

Matt parked the car and Saffi looked out over the sea as he changed into his wetsuit. He was wearing swimming shorts under his clothes, but it was way too distracting, seeing his strong, muscular legs and bare chest with its taut six-pack. ‘From the looks of those people surfing, it must be an exhilarating experience,’ she said.

‘It is,’ Matt agreed. ‘If you’re interested, I could teach you how to do it—just as soon as we get a day on our own. Do you do any water sports?’

‘Um…I’ve a feeling I do. I know I can swim, anyway, and I think I might like to learn kite-surfing. It’s mostly men who do the sport, though, isn’t it?’

‘Not necessarily. A lot more women are getting into it nowadays. You’d start with a trainer kite and learn simple techniques first of all.’ He looked at her expectantly and she nodded.

She was getting her confidence back now, feeling stronger day by day, and maybe it was time to accept some new challenges.

‘Maybe I’d like to try,’ she said, and he gave her a satisfied smile. She breathed in the salt sea air. It was good to be with him out here, and to look forward to more days like this, but didn’t she know, deep down, that she was playing with fire? She was getting closer to him all the time, when the sensible thing would be to keep her distance. It was quite clear he wasn’t looking for any serious involvement.

He introduced her to his friends and she and Ben watched from the beach as they went out onto the water. Saffi walked along the sand with the contented little boy, helping him to collect shells in a plastic bucket, looking up every now and again to see the surfers wheeling and diving, letting the wind take them this way and that.