A Dinner Of Herbs (29 page)

Ma ... Mary El...

El... Ellen, I ... I want to ask you something, but if I’m wrong, I beg your | pardon. But if I’m right. Oh,

say I’m not right, Mary Ellen.”

“I’m ... I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’re right.”

^ “Oh! Oh, my lord!”

Mary Ellen watched the little woman push her hands up both sides of her round face until her stubby

fingers were lost under her starched cap. Then her fat body bending forward, she seemed to do a dance

step, for she hopped completely round the large table before she stopped, and now

banging her double

fists onto it, she cried, “You mean to stand there, Mary Ellen, and tell me that you have She swallowed

as if unable to voice her thoughts; then she actually said the words, ‘fallen with a hairn!”

Mary Ellen stood with her’ eyes downcast, and now she nodded her head slowly as she

muttered, “I’m

... I’m sorry if it’s upsetting you, ma’am.”

“Upsettin’mef Now the voice was almost a scream.

“You say you’re sorry at upsettin’ me! You don’t say you’re sorry for your wickedness

with that

scoundrel who’s gone off to London. Oh! and to think you’ve been working in this house all these

months and covering up your sin.”

“I don’t look on it as a sin, ma’am.”

The quietness other maid’s tone seemed to infuriate the woman, and now she screamed,

“Wait until Mr.

Davison hears of this. He won’t believe his ears.” And she now rushed to the door and, her voice still

pitched high, she yelled across the yard, “Mr. Davison! Mr. Davison! Come here this

minute.”

Instead other husband, her son Archie and her grandson appeared in the yard saying

“What is it?” And

she yelled at her son, “Get your father!

Get your father here this minute. “

A few seconds later it wasn’t only her husband who came into the kitchen, but also her son and

grandson, and all in a rush, her husband demanding, “What is it? Chimney caught

ablaze?”

Then he became silent, and the three men looked to where Mary Ellen was standing at the end of the

table, her head bowed, her hands gripping the edge. Then their attention was turned on the mistress of

the house as, her tone lower now but grim, she said, “Prepare yourself for a shock. This one’ —she

thumbed towards Mary Ellen ‘has—’ It appeared again that she couldn’t voice the

condition that her

maid was in, and it was her son who said, “ Aye, she’s gona have a hairn. “

Both his father and his son seemed to jump at once with the horrifying thought that

flashed through their

minds, but Archie quickly dispelled it, saying, “No, my God! No! ‘tisn’t me. Mary Ellen can tell you

that.

An’ who it was an’ all. But I noticed, like the cows when they drop, Mary Ellen’s had her fancies.

Apples it was in her case. “ He turned and looked kindly on her, and she gazed back at him in gratitude,

until her master spoke.

“Well, I’ve had longer experience with cows than you, our Archie,” he said, ‘but I never noticed. Now

that I know, I’m amazed. I am that. “

His voice rose.

“I’m amazed, Mary Ellen. Do you hear me? I’m amazed.

And after your mistress has been so good to you all these years you could go and do this on her. “

It struck Mary Ellen at the moment that it was being implied that she had become laden with a child just

to spite her mistress. How silly some people could be. She wished they would hurry up

and get round

to it. She glanced towards Lennie. He was looking at her through narrowed eyes and

there was an

expression on his face that she had never seen before. She couldn’t put the word disdain to it, but she

said to herself in something of surprise. He’s not for me. And at this she became worried; then

comforted herself with. He’ll do what his granny tells him, and his father an’ all, and his father thinks not

too badly of me, I can see that.

Then her idea of the future in this house was shattered with her mistress’s next words.

“You’ll go, girl,” she said.

“You’ll get out of this house, for we are respectable people. Always have been and, as long as I’m

here, always will be. I’ll give you to the week-end until I can find somebody else to take your place, and

many will jump at it.

Oh aye, they will, and call me a fool for pamperin’ you all these years. To think—’ Now her lips

trembled and tears came into her eyes as she looked at her husband and said, “To think this is how I’ve

been repaid. What do you say to my decision, Mr. Davison?”

He paused only a moment before he said quietly, “Tis right. Tis right.”

“Oh, Dad.” His son Archie turned to him, saying now, “I wouldn’t jump at it like that.

She’s made a

mistake, aye, but she’s not the first one, and she won’t be the last.”

Again the family were looking at him with suspicion, and his mother now attacked him in much the same

voice as she had used on her servant, crying, “You stand there, me own flesh and blood, and defend her,

and go against what I say, what I want? This house is clean and is not going to be

besmirched with the

likes of her. What she can do now is follow the man who has filled her belly, and get him to see to her,

because ‘twas him, wasn’t it? Open your mouth, girl. Twas him, wasn’t it?”

Mary Ellen stared at the little woman, then at the three men, and having got over the

shock that she was

to be thrown out, her old spirit revived and she said, “Who’s given me the baim is my

business, missis,

and I won’t stay till the week-end, until you get fixed again.

If I’m to go, I’ll go now this very day, this very minute. And I’ll tell you something afore I go. Aye,

you’ve been kind to me, but I’ve repaid you for it, not twice over or three times, but a hundred times,

because you’ve worked me like a slave. Inside and outside you’ve worked me like a slave from the day

I came into your shelter. One thing more I’ll say. “ Now she turned from the gaping

dumbfounded

woman to her son and what she said was, “ Thank you, Mr. Archie, for having the heart

to stick up for

me. I’ll always remember you for that. But as for you, master she had now turned her

attention to the

grizzly-haired man’ being so shocked at the way I am, you haven’t been above letting

your hand stray

over the years, have you? “

On the sight other master’s scarlet face and her mistress being on the point of a swoon, she turned about

and marched up the kitchen and to her garret room. And there she whipped her Sunday

clothes from the

peg on the back of the door and threw them onto the pallet bed. Then going to the chest of drawers that

stood in the corner, she pulled the top one open and took out her petticoats and stockings and three

white handkerchiefs. After she had bundled them all into the patchwork spread on top of the bed, which

was her own and had been given her by her mother, she tore off her starched bonnet and flung it onto the

floor, and threw after it her coarse apron before sitting down on a wooden stool and

pulling off the heavy

boots that had belonged to Lennie when he was younger. Then she pulled on her own

boots and

buttoned them with trembling fingers, and when she was ready to go she stood for a

moment looking

round the room that had afforded her the only privacy she had known in what seemed

long years going

back to her childhood.

When she reached the kitchen she saw her mistress sitting on the settle being comforted by her son, and

she flung the bundle on the table, undid the knots and said, “You’d better examine these, missis, to see

that I haven’t taken anything that doesn’t belong to me.”

“Tis all right. Tis all right, Mary Ellen.” It was Archie’s v’-’. z, r-”‘1! kind.

She knoi’d the bundle again; then, looking at him, she said, “I won forget your kindness, Mr. Archie..”

And on that she turned about and went out.

Lennie was standing in the middle of the yard. She expected him to say some word to

her, but he

didn’t. He just stared at her with the same expression, and before she reached the gate, she was aware

that his father had come out of the house and was speaking to him in harsh tones, but she couldn’t make

out what was being said. Then as she | went to open the gate she heard the quick steps behind her ;1

(-nd for a moment she thought it was Lennie, but turned to S see his father.

She had never been very fond of Mr. Archie. He was a bit rough in his speech and came

out with things

that brought the colour to your face, but now he looked at her in the most kindly fashion as he said, “Tis

sorry I am, Mary Ellen, and I’ll tell you this afore you go and it may be of some comfort for you to know

that everybody doesn’t think the worst of you, and it’s just this: if things were different, if it was me own

farm, I’d marry you the morrow.”

She bowed her head and could not restrain the tears that ran down her cheeks; then

looking up at him

again, she said, “I’ll always remember that, Mr. Archie, and thanks, thanks very much.”

He opened the gate for her and she went through and down the road towards her father’s house, where

she knew she’d have to spend the rest of her life.

But here another surprise awaited her.

Bill Lee was amazed at the sight of her carrying her bundle and in her Sunday clothes. He was at the

fire, about to lift some baked potatoes from the ashes, and he tossed one from hand to hand before

hurrying to the table and dropping it there; then staring at her, he said, “What’s this?

She placed her bundle on the floor, pulled off her hat, and sat down in a chair near the table, at the same

time indicating another chair to the side of him and saying, “I think you’d better sit down.

Da.”

He sat down, his brows puckered, his mouth slightly open, waiting for her news.

“I’ve been given the sack.”

“You’ve been given the ... you mean, from the Davisons?”

“Aye.”

“In the name of God why?”

She looked to the side as if searching for a respite, but then, her eyes on him again, she said, “I’d better

give it to you straight. I’m with hairn.”

She watched all the creases smooth out from his face as it stretched;

she watched his mouth, that at one time she had thought kind because it rarely spoke

badly of anyone,

clamp shut; she saw the shape of it disappear as he sucked in his lips; she watched his hands come out

and catch hold of the side of the table as he pulled himself upwards. Then he was leaning towards her,

saying, “You mean to sit there and tell me that you’re... ?” He gulped, unable to go on.

She stared, unblinking, at him, saying softly, “Aye, I do. That’s how it is.”

He said again, “You mean to say?”

He straightened up. He seemed to have no trouble now with his breathing for it did not stop the flow of

his words, as it usually did, as he cried at her, “You bloody brazen young bitch, you! You sit there as

cool as they come an’ tell me that you’ve been with a ... God Almighty! I never thought to see the day.

It’s him, isn’t it?”

“Doesn’t matter who it is.” She was on her feet too, now, her face and her body stiff.

“That’s how I am. It’s done, it can’t be undone.

Anyway you’ll have someone to run an’ fetch an’ carry for you an’ do your biddin’ now

in return for a

shelter. “

“Ooh!... No!” The first word was long-drawn-out; “Oh, no you don’t miss. If you think

you’re comin’

here and flauntin’ the result of your running the moors, you’re mistaken. Bloody well

mistaken. The only

thing I’m surprised at now, when I come to think on it, is it didn’t;

happen afb’re for you’ve trailed him for as far back as I cani remember. An’ now he’s

skittered off to

London, an’ you’re! left with your belly full, an’ now you’re lookin’ for somel place to spill it out. But it

won’t be here, lass. Oh no. I’ve! always held me head up high; respectability’s been me|

second name,

as was me father’s and his father’s afore him. |_ And the wives they took were clean

women, as was

yourjl mother. And now you. “ He turned his head to the side andj seemed to be resting his chin on his

shoulder as he said| “ Thank God she’s not here to witness this. I never wishedl her dead afore but I’m

glad she’s gone now. “

There was utter astonishment in her voice as sh muttered, “You mean... you mean you

won’t let me? I...

can’t stay here?”

Looking back at her and his eyes now blazing with anger, he cried, “So right you are! So right you are!

Now you ca take up your bundle and get out of that door an’ make yo way an’ get him to pay for his

pleasure, because be damni here’s one who’s not going to stand in for him.” He made a

sound like a

groan, then went on, “Having you about me for the rest of me days, knowing what you

did, and a brat, a

bastard crawling about me house?

No, no, never! Not in my house, the place I built up for your mother an’ me. Never.

Never . So get

you going. Yes, I know where you’ll make for, an’ no doubt she’ll welcome you with

open arms. “

She ground her teeth together before she said, “What if I don’t go to Kate’s eh? What if I don’t go to

Kate’s but I go along to Maggie Oates’s? She’ll give me a bed an’ gladly, and I can earn me keep in

more ways than one. What about that. Da? Eh? What’ll happen to your respectability