A Different Side (University Park #4) (20 page)

Lexi: No, thank you. I’ll be fine. See you Thursday at the writing center.

A smile crept over my face. Two days weren’t that long to wait. I could do it. I headed to class with a new, profound determination. Maybe I wasn’t stuck with these cards after all.

Thursday morning arrived and I had a hard time containing my excitement. I was like a damn kid going to Toys R Us with a stack of gift cards. Classes dragged, but I managed to keep my focus, taking notes and listening to the lectures. Lexi was changing me. And for the better.

“Don’t forget, your term paper is due next Tuesday,” the professor reminded us as I rushed out the door.

“Hey, Raven.” A hand brushed across my arm. “I texted. Did you—”

I spun around, but kept going, not slowing down. “Hey, Beth. Sorry, gotta go.”

“Call me.” She held up her phone.

I nodded and waved bye, even though I didn’t plan on calling her. Lexi had one-hundred percent of my attention. More doors opened and the hall flooded with people. One by one, I dodged them as I weaved through the crowd. I stumbled out the door and jumped down the stairs, skipping half of them in the process.

“Hey, dude, what’s the rush?” Shawn asked as I passed by him.

I turned around, jogging backwards. “Gotta grab something to eat before I meet Lexi.”

A huge grin spread across Shawn’s face and he shook his head. “Whipped! I’m telling you, man.”

I shrugged, trying to suppress a grin.

As I ate, I reviewed my paper, making sure I was prepared to discuss it. I made additional notes and jotted down a few more ideas I knew Lexi would approve of. After that, I practically ran to Ramsey Hall, wanting to arrive early. I only hoped the witch wasn’t there. I shuddered just thinking about her wicked, evil cat eyes.

I walked into the small office and a musty, wet smell hit me. The carpet looked buckled and I wondered why they hadn’t replaced it after the flood. Through the oblong window, I saw Dr. Phillips talking to Poindexter in his office. I looked around for Lexi and didn’t see her, but she still had ten minutes. Tossing my backpack on the table, I sat and waited for her.

Five minutes passed and still no Lexi. I tried not to get overly anxious, but there was a damn jackhammer determined to make a giant hole in the center of my chest. 

“Hey, Raven?”

I glanced up to see Dr. Phillips standing in the doorway of his office.

“Yes, sir?”

He jingled the change in his pocket. “Can you join me for a moment?”

I grabbed my backpack and stood up. Poindexter exited his office before I entered.

Dr. Phillips shut the door and I knew this wasn’t a good sign. “Please, have a seat.” He patted the back of the chair positioned in front of his desk and then sat in his chair.

“Is everything okay?” I shucked my backpack from my shoulders and set it next to me. The jackhammer had turned into a loud siren, as if a hurricane was on the way.

Leaning forward, he inhaled deeply and then clasped his hands together. “Unfortunately, Lexi won’t be able to tutor you any longer, and—”

“Why? What happened?” There was a category five hurricane brewing inside of me. Had Lexi gotten upset about what happened at the Marshalls’ suite? “Did I do something wrong?”

Shit! Had I totally screwed up?

“Raven,” Dr. Phillips motioned for me to calm down, “she reassured me this had nothing to do with you.”

“Then, what happened? I…I don’t understand.” I pulled off my ball cap and raked my hand through my hair. This didn’t make any sense. What had changed?

Dr. Phillips stared at me, his eyes narrowing as though trying to search for the correct words. “All I can tell you is she resigned for personal reasons.”

My hands fell to my side. What in the hell was I going to do now? Aside from school, where did that leave us? One word registered in my mind: nowhere.

“I know you enjoyed working with her and my understanding is that your grades have improved.” He inclined his head and offered a consoling smile. “I’m sorry.”

My back hit the chair and all air left my lungs, leaving me practically lifeless. There was more to this story and I had a feeling it had something to do with her fiancé. I was also positive I had something to do with it, too.

“I’ve arranged for you to work with Kyler Winston. He’s a grad student and easy to work with. I think you’ll do just fine with him.” Dr. Phillips glanced out his window to Poindexter.

Poindexter might have been good, but not as good as Lexi.

I didn’t want his help.

I wanted Lexi’s.

But that wasn’t going to happen.

With no other choice, I agreed and walked out of his office. I spent the next hour, working with Kyler, even though I didn’t want to. At least the guy was nice, unlike Sarah, and since I ruined the relationship with Lisa, I was at this guy’s mercy. As soon as we finished, I texted Lexi to see what the hell was going on, but she never responded. I went to her dorm, but she didn’t come downstairs.

I tried to focus all my attention on Saturday’s game, but Lexi clouded all my thoughts. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get her out of my head. I was a compulsive stalker in my own mind.

Everywhere I looked, I saw images of Lexi.

Everything I did reminded me of her.

Everywhere I went, I imagined us together.

I was so effed up. The team sensed it too and Coach had a long chat with me. Dr. Phillips had told him about reassigning me to Kyler and Coach asked if I had messed things up with Lexi. I lied, swearing to him that we were strictly friends and nothing more. Then again, that was exactly what we were, weren’t we? Or, at least, we were at some point. I had no idea where we stood when it came to our friendship status.

My lack of focus resulted in a loss for the team — our second of the season. I was so pissed at myself, but determined to get my shit straight. Josh and Shawn pulled me aside, questioning whether Lexi had anything to do with our defeat. I lied again, assuring them no girl had control of me that way. But she did, and I had no idea how to deal with it.

For an entire week, I texted her multiple times and went to her dorm, stalking her purposely. She refused to talk to me or see me. I was at a loss and completely confused. I finally decided to give her some space and did what I knew how to do — reshuffled my cards and went on with my life.

I went to practice and worked out daily. I studied the plays and understood what it would take to win the games. Twice a week, I met with Kyler and he helped me perfect my papers. I did my schoolwork, like a good student, and studied harder than ever. Maybe I had to prove to myself that I could do it without Lexi’s help, or maybe my innate desire to win took over. Whatever it was, I rode the wave, because I knew it wouldn’t last forever.

I attended parties, as usual, but couldn’t care less about the hordes of women flocking to me. There was only one woman I wanted and I was sure she was at some other guy’s side. That was the story of my life. At least I had one thing going for me. The field might have been my saving grace, but it was also my battlefield. With each scoring victory, my demons were more determined than ever to get the best of me. The question was: how long could I defeat them?

Σ

Chapter 13

A little more persistence, a little more effort,

And what seemed like hopeless failure may turn to glorious success.

~Elbert Hubbard

On Sunday night, I lay in bed, listening to the rain beat angrily against the window. Unable to sleep, I grabbed my phone and went on Facebook. I told myself not to do it, but I typed in Lexi’s name and landed on her page. She still hadn’t accepted my friend request, so her posts remained hidden. None of my friends knew her and the few people I asked claimed they didn’t know her either. She was like the most beautiful, unknown student on PHU’s campus. It all made sense. Her good girl status explained why no one knew her — including me.

Based on what happened at her dorm, I knew she was dealing with a lot. I just wanted to be there for her, but her reactions made it clear she didn’t want to interact with me. I got it, though. And the last thing I wanted was to come in between a couple engaged to be married. When I finally confessed to Josh and Shawn what was going on, they told me to give her space. What bothered me the most was not knowing. Since she never confirmed being engaged, I honestly had no idea if that was what she was dealing with.

Then, it hit me — the one person who probably knew the answers to all my questions. I typed in Delaney’s name and went to her page. She had some recent posts with her and Luke, but nothing with Lexi. I hesitated for a moment and then hit the
message
button.

Me: Hey, Delaney. What’s up?

With each passing second, I regretted my decision to contact her. My phone vibrated and I dropped it. I fumbled with the sheets, finally finding it and quickly flipped it over.

Delaney: Hey, what’s going on?

I broke out in a nasty sweat and hopped out of bed, flipping on the ceiling fan, despite it being forty degrees outside. Propping myself against the headboard, I tapped out a message, which I deleted and rewrote three times before finally sending.

Me: I haven’t heard from Lexi in two weeks and wanted to make sure she was okay.

With a death grip on my phone, I waited for a response.

Delaney: Oh yeah, she’s having a tough time right now.

Shit. Maybe this was a bad idea. I didn’t know how to ask about what happened at the dorm, so I acted like I knew what happened instead.

Me: When I last saw her, she was really upset about what happened at the dorm.

Delaney: When was that?

I stared at the message, unsure of how to respond.

Me: 2 weeks ago, on a Thursday.

Delaney: She didn’t tell me anything. What happened?

Crap. How in the hell was I supposed to tell her she was screwing Lexi’s fiancé or supposed brother?

Me: We were working on a paper in a study room and she ran up to the dorm to get something. When she came back, she was all upset - saying that you were with her brother.

Delaney: Oh no! I had no idea she overheard us. How embarrassing.

It was now or never. I typed out another text, determined to find out once and for all. I cringed and hit send, knowing I might piss her off, but I had to know.

Me: Yeah, she was pretty freaked out. For a moment, I thought maybe you were with her guy or something.

Delaney: What? Oh hell no! Not Collin. I can’t believe you thought that!

I pounded the bed with my fist. She did have a fiancé or boyfriend. I knew I should’ve listened to Josh and asked her outright. The question was: who was this Collin dude?

Me: Sorry!

I held my breath, hoping she’d let it go.

Delaney: It’s okay. Her brother didn’t want me to say anything to her, but she knows now.

I breathed a sigh of relief, but I wasn’t done getting to the real reason Lexi was avoiding me.

Me: Okay good. I just didn’t know what to think because she quit tutoring me and I didn’t know if it was something I did or what.

Three dots flashed on the screen for what seemed like forever. Then finally, the message appeared.

Delaney: No. Um…it’s not you she’s struggling with at the moment.

Me: Are you sure? I tried to kiss her at the stadium, but she refused and asked me to take her home. I did, but ever since then she’s been ignoring me. I swear, I had no idea she was in a relationship with someone. I hope I didn’t break them up. If so, I’m the biggest ass ever.

Without thinking twice, I sent the message. I had to get it off my chest.

Delaney: Relax! You didn’t break them up. They started having problems way before you entered the picture. Lexi had to make a tough decision, but I think she made the right one. You should never marry someone you’re not in love with.

Oh, shit! She was engaged.

My heart plummeted to the pit of my stomach. I should have known better and listened to my gut. But why didn’t she tell me? The reason was obvious. She liked me. But what now?

Me: I agree. I just don’t know why she kept it from me.

Delaney: I don’t know, but I’m sure it has something to do with the way she feels about you.

Score!

Me: I really like Lexi. She’s a great girl. I want to be there for her, but don’t want to keep stalking her.

Delaney: Lol! Yeah, you probably need to chill for a while. Give her some time, she’ll come around. I gotta go, but I’ll keep you posted.

Me: Thanks! I owe you.

Delaney: You owe me nothing. She’s my friend and I want her to be happy. Talk to you later.

Me: Later.

I reread the message at least three times. Lexi had been engaged, but wasn’t any longer. She liked me, but needed some time. Could I ask for anything more? If she needed time, that’s what I’d give her.

***

Each passing day seemed like an eternity and even though I wanted to see Lexi so damn bad, I did what Delaney, Josh, and Shawn suggested and gave her some space. I had to keep the faith that she’d call me. That she’d be able to get over Collin and move on without him. That she’d give me a chance to prove I was capable of so much more. The challenging part was staying strong when I had so many temptations to distract me, including females. I redirected all my energy to school and playing football. That kept my mind focused as I waited to hear from Lexi.

“Raven!” An unfamiliar female voice called my name as I shuffled through the commons area by the student union.

I turned around, searching for the girl. Students swarmed the area and it took me a moment to spot a pair of flying hands. “Hey, Delaney.” I made eye contact with her as we made a path toward each other.