A Different Kind of Despair (15 page)

Unlike the eyes of the other necromancers,
he didn't regard me as some sort of monster. In fact, for a brief
moment I forgot I wasn't human anymore.

"Do you want to head back up and talk this
out like adults?" he asked.

I sat down and swung my legs over an
outcropping of rocks.

"Adulthood is overrated."

His sigh reverberated through the currents.
Marvin sat cross-legged on the ground.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you
for years now." He offered a tired, well-meaning smile. "You did
well back there."

"What part of any of that went well?" I
demanded, finding comfort in the familiarity of my anger. "The
Crone's still alive. Your mother isn't."

I watched as his expression fell with that
second statement. I would've given my soul itself to take it back.
He held out his hand the second time.

"Come to the surface with me, Miraj. I'll
run out of air soon."

I took his offer as my idea of recompense
for the stupid comment. We swam until we reached air, but we didn't
leave the water. Marvin plucked the bowl off his head and tossed it
somewhere behind him. His wooden totem floated atop the waves
between us.

"The reason it took my mother that long to
come to the chamber was because she was talking to Jiki," he
revealed. "They, with Purilo's help, found a way to transport real
people through the Grey. Yes, my mother died," he said slowly, as
though he didn’t believe it. "But she saved everyone who had the
sense to listen to her directions."

I cast my eyes towards the darkness of the
deep.

"What's going to happen to the necromancers
who chose to stay behind?"

"I'm sure you can guess."

Koronos piped up with his helpful input.

They'll either be turned into demons, or
torn apart for sport.

His sights lingered on me. I tried to swim
backwards, but he took me by the arm before I could get very
far.

"Miraj, look at me."

"I don't want to."

"Please?"

I couldn't say no when he used that tone. I
looked at Marvin, and he smiled as he'd done a hundred times
before.

"I can't believe I'm saying this. But I want
to thank Koronos for once."

What? Why?

I smirked at the outrage of my inner
devil.

"He's surprised. He wants to know why."

"Because he saved your life." Marvin
breathed a sigh of relief. I remembered his red face over mine. The
face of despair. "This is a bit embarrassing for me to admit, but
I'm not used to failing. Not where saving lives is concerned, at
least."

"Spoken like a true genius."

His face scrunched at the statement. I
snickered.

"Yeah, I guess," he admitted grudgingly.
"But, in my defense, I haven't met a necromancer who wouldn't be
sore in that situation."

Marvin set his sights on the glowworms above
us.

"We're stupidly blunt. Our social graces are
almost nonexistent. If we haven't operated on something then it's
free to be scrutinized at our leisure… necromancers, once you take
out the whole raising the dead part of the equation, are absurdly
narrow-minded academics."

"I'm not sure what you're trying to get at,
Marvin."

He crossed his arms and leaned against solid
rock.

"I saw the way you freaked out back there,
Miraj. I can guess what set you off. It was probably the way they
were looking at you, right?" It wasn't much of a question, sounding
like a fact as he said it. And Marvin was right. "I hated being
seen for the same reason when I was in Nethermount. People are
either colleagues or cadavers, and nothing in between."

"But the difference is that they have a
right to look at me that way." Words, normally so difficult to
find, flowed from my lips like a river. "Look at me, Marvin. I'm
not human anymore. I'm a demon."

He was amused, and that baffled me.

"Do you remember the time you punched
Lekai's face in?"

"Which time?" I asked, serious.

Marvin broke into a wide grin. "You were
more a demon back then than you are now."

"But
look
at me."

And he did. Marvin turned and looked at me
long and hard, making a show of his speculation.

"Okay, I'm looking." He swam in a full
circle making pensive sounds. "
Stiiiill
looking."

"Are you blind?" I snapped. "Do you not see
the horns? The tongue?"

"I do. And?"

"So what do you see?"

"I see Miraj."

My face fell to pieces. Marvin caught it
between his hands. I felt myself melt between them.

"If it weren't for you, Leo, Will, and most
of the people in Nethermountain would probably be dead right now.
If you hadn't gotten the Eyes away from the Crone, there's no
telling what hell she would've unleashed by now." He tucked my hair
behind my ears. "As far as I'm concerned, no matter what you are,
you'll always be my Miraj'a."

That did it.

My heart burst.

Tears streamed down my burning cheeks, so
grateful that I couldn't speak even if I wanted to. Marvin kissed
my forehead, then my eyes, then my nose, and with every kiss I felt
my faith being restored.

"I love you," I sobbed.

He kissed me on the lips, barely brushing
them, but they lingered there for almost a full minute. It was
tangible proof that he loved me too.

Blegh!

"Fuck. Off."

Marvin pulled back. "Excuse me?"

"No!" I covered my face with my hands.
"Gods, no. Not you. Koronos. He-"

He was laughing so hard I was starting to
get a headache.

"-
ow
. Really? Do you have any idea how long I've
been waiting for that to happen?"

My dear, as you are now one of my esteemed
kind, I feel you should know that kissing a human is akin to
bestiality. I was only looking out for your best interests…

"The only beast here is
you
." I looked between my fingers to
see that Marvin was similarly red, looking off to the side. "Um.
I'm so sorry. Really, really sorry."

I'm
not
.

I wisely refrained from commenting. I
started to leave the pool when Marvin took me by the hand a second
time that evening.

"You might want to wait a while."

"Why?"

He looked down. I followed his gaze to see
that the thin fabric of the nightgown was all but transparent when
wet. Oh I really didn't plan this out well.

You're certainly more developed than I
expected.

Really, Koronos? You
really
had to go there?

"I'm going to have to get out sooner or
later," I said.

"Jiki was looking for some clothes for you
when I left," said Marvin. "She should come around in a little
while. Just, uh… stay here, I guess."

"Orrr you can leave," I suggested. "I know
I'll be fine in the freezing water. You're going to catch a cold at
this rate."

"What sort of husband would I be if I left
my wife alone in her hour of need?"

I raised an eyebrow, swimming closer until
our bodies touched.

"Forgive me for doubting your sincerity, my
love. But I can't help but notice that you use the husband label at
the most convenient times."

"Really?" He did well not to look me in the
eyes. "I fail to see what's so convenient about swimming in
freezing water."

I coiled my arms around his neck, gave
Koronos a furious mental probe to stay in line, and proceeded to
press my breasts against his chest.

I watched him swallow at a lump in his
throat.

"And what are you doing?" he had the gall to
ask, feigning ignorance. I don't care how big a bookworm he was;
there wasn't a genius alive who couldn't figure out this
situation.

"What sort of wife would I be if I allowed
my husband to freeze?" I asked back, my voice a whisper in his ear.
I smiled at the color creeping up his neck, leaving a trail of
kisses to encourage its progression. I took no small amount of
pleasure in listening to the sound of his breath stagger every time
my lips pressed against his skin.

"Two years," he said like a mantra.

"Two years," I agreed, sighing loudly.
"Two very-" I kissed his ear. "Very-" I ran my tongue along its
edge. "
Excruciatingly
-" I
grazed his lobe with my sharp teeth. "
Long
years.

"You. You-" he searched for a way to deny
me, to put me back at arm's length, but try as he might, my sweet
necromancer had one arm around my waist and couldn't find a worthy
excuse to let it go.

"You?" I teased.

"You," he said, this time with
unexpected force, "are a cruel, sadistic-" Marvin grabbed my hair
with his free hand. "
Devilish
woman."

How appropriate.

He kissed me with a ferocity I didn't know
he had in him. I coiled my tail around one of his legs, moaning
into his mouth as I grew weepy-eyed. We struggled to catch our
breaths, fighting to stay afloat, fighting to stay connected. I
wanted this man as I wanted nothing else my entire life. I would
kill for him, die for him, give him anything as long as this moment
could last.

Marvin was unlike any person I'd ever met.
He saw the souls of people with a clarity I, a Shaman, couldn't
fathom. Age, race, gender -none of it mattered in his eyes. I could
be a demon on a battlefield, caked in blood and howling with
berserker rage, and Marvin, for better or worse, would see me as
Miraj. His Miraj and none other.

"Two years?" I whined.

"Two," he sounded upset, as though he were
trying to convince himself. "Years."

"One and a half."

"Six months."

I blinked incredulously. He seemed to
remember himself, made a mental note, and backtracked.

"One and a half is fine."

"Six months?" I swam him against the wall,
running my tail up his thigh. "You said six months just now."

"I don't know what you're talking
about."

Bullshit
.

You
know
you screwed up when a demon agrees with the
opposite party.

"That condition was made when I was still
human. Now that I'm a demon I'm sure the same rules don't apply.
You said so yourself underwater-" I gave his leg a
less-than-friendly squeeze. "-let's handle this like adults, shall
we?"

Technically, anyone less than two hundred is
an infant in Hell.

My face twitched a little at that. The
devil's in the details -figures. But Marvin didn't know that.

"As an adult, I'm standing my ground."

"How convenient that your feet aren't
touching it."

His brow knotted. "Miraj," he sounded
exhausted, like a man who had just fought a great battle against
himself. "Please don't do this. I'm trying so hard to be a good man
right now."

"Good for whom, exactly?" I asked, irked.
"We've been dodging the shadow of Death for the past week, we have
a horde of mouths to feed, we don't know where we're going, and you
still have an extraordinarily powerful demon after your soul. And
here you have a wife who loves you, would give you the world itself
if she could, and you deny her?"

"I'm already your husband, Miraj. I mean it.
What else could you possibly want?"

I released him, casting my eyes to the
water. "You're the cruel one, Marvin. I have my pride as a Hikari,
as Shaman, but my pride as a woman is greater than both. You have
no idea how much you wound me."

"How am I hurting your pride?"

"Do you really expect me to spell it out for
you?" I went red in the face. "I want you, Marvin. All of you. For
months now, I-" I bit my lip, forgetting the sharpness of their
edge and blood. "I can't believe you made me say it."

The water bubbled loudly before Marvin could
respond.

Jiki's head appeared between us as she
grabbed me by the arm.

"C-come with me."

And we disappeared a second later.

Marvin was left alone in the caverns,
releasing a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding in. He
pulled himself along the edge of the pool, Miraj's words replaying
in his mind like a song he couldn't get out of his head.

"Marv!" Leo came in, bearing a basket of
unleavened bread. He stopped when he spotted his friend in the
water. "Um, you might wanna get out. We can't afford to have you
get sick, Marv."

Marvin covered his mouth, hanging his
head.

"Marv?"

"Six months."

"I'm not letting you stay in there for
six months, dumbass.
Woah
."
Leo noticed how red his face was. "You alright, Marv?"

Marvin looked at his friend with
uncertainty. "Is it still doing the right thing if you're
regretting it?"

"Uhh…" Leo scratched his head. "Depends on
how much you regret it, I guess." He set the basket on the cavern
floor, shrugging. "But I try not to think too hard before I make
decisions. Follow your gut and instinct will almost never steer you
wrong. Did that help?"

Marvin groaned into his hands. "I'm an
idiot."

Leo laughed at him. "I coulda told you that
much!"

Before the Beginning, there were two
sisters

Control and Chaos were theirs to
give

Neith, the Weaver of Mortal Fate

And Ayasha, of those Free to Live

The Weaver's ambition knew no
bounds

So she wove a plot as she did best

And tricked Ayasha in a bet