A Despair of Demons (Travelers, Book 1) (14 page)

“Just what?”

“Just your job?”

Jordan dragged his gaze to hers as if it weighed hundreds of pounds.

Liv stared back, puzzled.

He said, “I mean, is there any other reason you would have followed me?”

“Jordan, you’re my partner. One of my best friends. I’m sure you know it was
more than just the job.”

His eyes bored into hers as if he was trying to read her mind. “What if…”

Liv waited, but he said nothing more.

Suddenly, he pushed off of the counter and stalked across the room, around
her desk. Never breaking eye contact, he put his hand on the arms of her chair
and bent down until his face was inches from hers. If he read her mind now, he
would find it completely blank.

Liv froze, unable to obey any of the countless opposing signals her brain
was screaming. She was drowning in Jordan’s eyes, but she didn’t mind. She was
pretty sure that she wasn’t breathing anyway.

He put a hand to her cheek, caressed her jaw with the tips of his fingers,
moved slowly through the inches of space between them, and kissed her. He
started with just a brush of his lips on hers, then slowly moved into her,
asking her to respond, teasing with agonizing skill. She wanted more. Her hands
had somehow ended up on his shoulders, and she ran them up into his hair. She
pulled him closer and opened to him. His tongue danced with hers as he explored
her mouth. The slightest nip of his teeth, and heat flashed into her belly.

She must not be frozen because she was pulling him toward her, wanting more,
more, more. And she must be breathing because she could smell him, shower clean
and spicy cologne, warm and familiar because of the countless times they’d been
in close proximity.

Never
this
close.

Abruptly, he broke the kiss, backed a few inches away, and stared into her
eyes. His eyes were huge and dark, devastating at this distance. He kissed her
again, a sweet brush of lips.

Then he flashed her a knowing smile and walked out of the room without a
backward glance.

*
         
*
         
*

Jordan shook his head as he strode down the hall, hoping his shirt, which
was hanging loose rather than tucked into his pants, would conceal his
rock-hard reaction to Liv. He’d expected quite a punch, but that kiss had still
left him reeling. He had to get out of here while he could still control
himself or he would really break some rules. He was sure it was down in the
regulations somewhere that sex on her desk wasn’t allowed.

Even now, his hands shook with the depth of his need for her. He wanted to
touch every inch of her slim body, kiss every bit of smooth skin he could
reach….

So instead, he was fleeing.
Classy,
Jordan. Nice job. That’s a great plan to get her to admit she loves you too.

He didn’t see an alternative. Liv was cautious and she moved slow, and for
him, at this very moment, moving slow was simply not an option.

But he could leave, and he could wait for her to make the next move.

If she didn’t make him wait forever, if she wanted to make the next move. He
could wait. He hoped.

*
         
*
         
*

Liv sat frozen in her chair trying to make sense of the conflicting signals
her body was screaming at her.

What the hell was
that
?
Did
Jordan really just kiss me?

Her numb brain still wouldn’t process it, but she could still taste him, so
she was pretty sure it hadn’t been a dream.

Why would he do that?

Why are you still sitting here? Go
after him! Find out!

No use waiting for a snake to bite you in the ass if you can go out and pin
it to the ground, as her mother always said.
Right. Yes, so go.

Her first attempt at standing failed. She’d heard the expression ‘weak in
the knees,’ but she’d never thought it was a real thing. It was like her legs
weren’t hinged anymore. She pulled herself up by the edge of her desk.

She took a deep breath, headed out of her lab more or less steadily, and
went straight to Jordan’s office.

He wasn’t there.

She went to the library, but he wasn’t there either. Obviously, she needed a
smarter search plan. She turned and headed for the control center.

Main control was empty except for two night technicians—the base was
manned twenty-four hours a day since teams returned at all hours, depending on
their missions in other worlds.

Jordan wasn’t on any of the cameras. Then she found his logout information.
He’d gone through the main gate five minutes ago.

He just…went home.

Indignation raged in her chest.
How
could he just leave me sitting there?
She stalked out the door.

Liv stepped out of her car, straightened her spine and braced her knees
against unhinging, and strode up to Jordan’s front door. Her knock was going to
be loud and pissed, but before her knuckles could make contact, the door swung
open.

“Hi, Liv.”

Liv scowled and swept past Jordan through the small foyer and into the
living room. The door clunked shut behind her and she spun to face him. He
leaned against the living room door jamb and his casual posture seemed to jab
her somewhere sensitive. That only made her more combative.

“What the hell was that, Jordan?”

Incredibly, he smiled. “The best kiss I’ve ever had.”

“You can’t just co—what?”

“You heard me. Don’t tell me you didn’t think so too.”

“No. Yes. I mean—that’s not the point! You accosted me out of nowhere
and then just walked out of the building for the night? Who does that?”

He pushed off the wall and stalked toward her. He seemed much bigger in this
enclosed space. He put his hands on her shoulders and leaned close.

“I had to get out of there before I totally lost control.”

She stood as if hypnotized. His thumbs traced patterns on her neck, and her
already rabbit-fast heart rate shot up another few hundred beats per minute.
This was not going the way she’d pictured.

She managed to focus. “And now?”

“I’ve got control.”

His hand moved to the back of her neck, trailing tingles down her spine, and
derailed her train of thought. Liv tried to get back to her original argument.
“Jordan, you can’t just accost me at work! We’re partners.”

He smiled again. “Well spotted.”

“No.” She flashed back to Ben’s arguments on Mai Tai. “Jordan, we work in
really close proximity for a lot of hours every day. What if something happened
and I can’t work with you anymore?”

“Liv, I’ve been wrestling with this for a year. I’ve wanted you for a year.
I asked you out then, remember?”

“Of course I remember. I said no. Because it’s too complicated.”

Jordan shook his head. “It’s not. Maybe then it was, because you didn’t even
know me. But you know me now.” He stared hard into her eyes. “You know me.”

“I thought I did,” she murmured.

“I know we work together, I know we’re friends. I don’t care. I can’t get
you out of my system, so I have to try to get into yours. Just give me a
chance.”

Liv’s anger stirred again as he answered the arguments she had been about to
launch. It was like he read her mind and dismissed all of her concerns as unimportant.
He was only asking her to take the biggest risk of her life on someone who was
suddenly not the reliable partner she’d thought he was. She’d gone down that
road once before and regretted it ever since.

“I need you, Liv.” He traced a finger down her neck, scrambling her brain.

On the other hand, she needed him too. But she knew how it would end. Just
like Nathan.

Jordan smiled as if he could actually read her thoughts the way he so often seemed
to. “Come on. Take a chance with me.” He moved in and kissed her, gently,
slowly.

He was offering her time. He would push and push, but she knew he would
never ask her for anything she wasn’t really willing to give. Rather than
fighting the problem head-on, he would find a way around it without having to
fight at all. He would wait. There was no one on earth more patient than
Jordan.

She knew she’d eventually crumble. She already wanted to. So why wait?

She slid her hands from his shoulders to his neck, fingers twining in his
hair, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. She stepped into him, molding
herself against him, and he groaned into her mouth, making her smile.

His hands moved from her neck to her shoulders, caressing down her back,
cupping her ass, and when he pulled her against him, she could feel his hard
length between them. A nuclear explosion went off in her midsection, radiating
outward. Everything was on fire and all she could think was
Jordan
.

She reached for the hem of his t-shirt, wiggled it upward as she pushed his
arms up, and pulled back long enough to lift it over his head.

And then he backed up. His expression was a little drunk, a lot concerned. “Liv,
what are you doing?”

“You.” She took a step toward him and he backed up another step.

“Liv, wait, this isn’t what I wanted—”

She raised an eyebrow.

“No, I mean, of course it’s what I wanted, but I thought…you know,
eventually…don’t you want more time?”

She smiled. “No.” She stepped toward him again and he stood his ground. She
wound her hands behind his neck to make sure he wasn’t going anywhere as she
pulled his mouth back to hers.

He slipped his hands under her shirt. She arched up to him, putting her
breasts squarely in his hands. She gasped when he brushed his thumbs over her
nipples, and ran her nails lightly up and down his back. He groaned into her
mouth again and all her muscles clenched.

He stepped back far enough to slide her shirt off, then his mouth was back
on hers. Damn, he could kiss.

He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, never breaking the kiss,
and she wrapped her legs around his waist to press more tightly against him.

He set her down on her feet and smiled as he met her eyes—a sweet, shy
smile totally at odds with the fire in her lower belly. It tugged her heart a
little.

Okay, a lot.

He kissed her temple and then trailed kisses down her cheek, her neck, her
shoulder. When he reached her breasts, he kissed her through the fabric of her
bra. She cringed a little that it was just the usual beige number she wore to
work, and wished she had planned this a little better. He lifted her breasts
out and took one into his mouth, and her thoughts completely derailed.

The bra slipped to the floor, forgotten. He sucked and nipped first one
nipple, then the other, trailing small bites around the whole edge of her
breast, causing every internal muscle to clench and strain toward him.

He trailed a finger down her ribcage to the waistband of her jeans, opened
the button and zipper, and slid them slowly down, trailing kisses down the
outside of her hip and thigh.

When she stepped out of the jeans, he took advantage of her position and
kissed her mound, still covered by her no-nonsense cotton underwear. Again, she
was ready to cringe, but he stopped, resting his forehead against her stomach. “God,
Liv, I can’t believe how sexy you are.”

“Ah, right, this is definitely my best bedroom outfit.”

He looked up, incredulous. “It doesn’t matter what you’re
wearing
.” He grinned and shook his head
as if she’d said something completely ridiculous, and kissed her belly.

When it fluttered under his touch, she wasn’t sure if it was his kiss or his
words that had done it.

He reached a hand up to caress between her legs with one finger. “Mmm, you
are so wet. Do you really want me that much?”

Again, that shy expression as he looked up at her. She smiled. “Do you
really have to ask?”

She grabbed his hands and lifted him back to his feet, pressing her
nearly-naked body against his, kissing his mouth. The feel of his bare chest
against hers cranked her need up another notch. He turned them both and pulled
her down on the bed on top of him.

Liv used her position to full advantage, pinning his hands above his head
and kissing his mouth, his neck, his chest. She followed the narrow trail of
hair down to the waistband of his khakis and flicked the fastening open. As she
slid them off, she grinned at him. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for a
boxer-brief guy.”

“Why no—”

His question ended on a sharp exhalation as she licked a line from his
stomach down to the bulge in his presumably much-tighter-than-usual underwear. She
kissed a line across his belly, following the line of his hip, sliding the
waistband lower to reach more skin, and then slowly slid the underwear off. She
resumed kissing where she had left off at his hip, down to the juncture of his
thigh. She licked a line toward his cock and he groaned.

“Liv,” he panted, “I don’t think you should—”

She licked up the shaft of his cock and he hissed in air and arched his
back. She smiled innocently as she looked him in the eye. “What shouldn’t I
do?”

Before he could answer, she took him in her mouth, and his sudden inhalation
was her only answer. She teased him with her tongue, licked around the rim of
his cock, and then took him as far in as she could.

“Liv—!”

His voice sounded a bit strangled, and she tried not to feel too self
satisfied.

“Come here, you.”

He pulled her up to lie full length against him, and when he kissed her, she
could feel the urgency behind it. It sent an instant jolt of heat to her belly,
and again, every muscle clenched.

She couldn’t help making some small helpless sound, and his kiss became more
urgent. He pulled away to kiss her neck, interspersing words with kisses. “God,
Liv, I want you so much, I can’t even say it, and I know, like, tons of
languages.”

She giggled and let him roll her over onto her back. He buried his face
again between her breasts as he slid a hand down to the band of her underwear
and tugged them down. He teased his fingers slowly up the inside of her thigh,
finally reaching the juncture of her thighs where he caressed her wet folds
with a finger.

In moments, she was the one gasping incoherently. He kissed lower, replacing
his finger with his tongue.

She thought she might die from the pain of wanting him. “Jordan,” she
gasped, “I want you. Inside me. Now.”

He reached into a drawer of the bedside table and pulled out a condom. Oh
thank God. She hadn’t even thought about that part.

She grabbed it from him and rolled it on slowly, teasing him with her
fingers. He stared at her face with the concentration of someone who would
never see it again, and then ranged his body over hers.

He stopped, holding himself above her, his cock quivering at her opening. He
kissed her as he thrust himself inside. She arched helplessly up to him,
already so close to the edge that she was oblivious to everything but the feel
of him.

He moved slowly, obviously fighting for control, and she tried to oblige,
forcing herself to memorize every detail of the feel of him kissing her, moving
inside her, the scent of his cologne mingling with their heat, the sound of his
ragged breath and the quiet sounds they both made.

But she couldn’t stop herself from arching against him, faster and harder
with each breath, and their tempo increased until she felt as if she were
already flying.

He kissed her neck, her ear. “Oh, God, Liv.”

“Jordan.”
Mine
, she mentally
added. She caught his mouth again instead, and her orgasm crashed through her. His
voice mingled with hers as he followed her over.

*
         
*
         
*

Some time later, Jordan still sprawled on top of her. “Mmm,” he sighed.

“Mmm hmm.”

He nuzzled her like a puppy and kissed the side of her neck as he moved over
so he wasn’t crushing her. She hadn’t really minded. First time for everything,
she guessed.

She turned her head until she could see his face nestled against her
shoulder. If she wasn’t so content, she’d be in shock over the fact that she
was actually here, with Jordan, in his bed. He met her eyes, his expression so
sweet that her heart melted. There was another saying she hadn’t thought was
real, but she actually felt the gooey puddle forming in her chest.

She kissed the tip of his nose. “You know, I was intrigued by your earlier
comment.”

“Yeah? Which one?”

“The one where you said that you’d been waiting for me for a year.”

“Well, I have. It was worth it.”

She laughed.

“And?” he prodded.

“I thought you were really attractive.”

“So why’d you turn me down when I asked you out?”

“I didn’t know who you were. I’ve met a lot of attractive men who are
assholes. It’s actually pretty much the rule, so I learned that attractive men
were not people to be attracted to.”

“Hmm. Bad luck for me.”

“I also remember the first time I began to admire you. The first time I saw
a glimpse of who you really were.”

“Really?”

“Remember that mission to J-231S?”

“Sure, Hitler’s World. Where Hitler didn’t make his great D-Day mistake and
we lost the war. Where the US condoned the extermination of the Jews, and the
enslavement of the blacks, and the worship of Adolph Hitler and the Aryan
ideal.”

“Exactly. You were so impassioned about our obligations to fellow humans and
doing the right thing being the most important thing. All that passion. All
that conviction. It was…really noble.”

“Really? I got the impression that I wasn’t at my best.”

She laughed again. “Well, maybe not to the military. ‘Impassioned’ was the
word that first came to my mind but ‘belligerent’ and ‘aggressive’ are also
pretty accurate. I thought you were amazing.”

“Huh. What do you know. I remember the first time I started to admire you
too.”

“Yeah? When?”

“Remember when you were telling us about the experiment you were running on
orientation of objects to their Home Worlds? You were trying to explain Travel
in terms of the physics of Einstein’s Law of Relativity, trying to learn how
matter could be created out of nothing in the form of a Traveler entering the
world.”

“That was the day we met.”

“Oh, really? Well, you had a lot of passion and conviction too.”

She laughed and he pulled her closer.

Liv snuggled against him and listened to his heart beat, drifting away on
the slow steady sound of his breath.

*
         
*
         
*

Late in the night, or early the next morning, Liv woke in a strange room
pinned to the bed. As she regained full consciousness, she remembered where she
was, and realized it was Jordan’s arm pinning her in place.