A Deeper Dimension (23 page)

“That’s why I didn’t recognise what I felt for you until that night of the car accident. Also, it’s why I couldn’t name my emotions until the day in the hospital when they told me you were going to live. I cried, cried so hard, and kept thanking God over and over again that you were still a part of this world. It didn’t even matter that you weren’t a part of my world. I just needed to know you were alive.”

She moved over to a chair and sat down, absentmindedly rubbing her tired and aching leg. She finished simply, “In hospital I realised just how much I love you, Alex. I—I think I’ve loved you ever since you fixed me hot chocolate and told me to go to bed. No one’s ever cared for me like that before. It just took me so long to understand how life can be so much more rich, more full. I’ve discovered a whole new depth of emotion that I’d never known could exist, and I thank you and love you for it.”

She was looking down at her hands and didn’t see him move until he was right beside her.

Alex knelt down on the floor and took her face in between his hands very gently. He searched her eyes with his as he whispered, “Diana. Oh God, Diana, do you know what you’re saying?”

She nodded, her eyes overflowing, wetness splashing his wrists. “I know,” she whispered back. “It’s taken me all this time to get up the courage to tell you those three simple words. I love you.”

Alex covered her lips with his own as she formed the words without sound. He savoured the feel and the movement, brushing their softness over and over. His actions were like those of a starving man who had just been given a glimpse of a table laden with sustenance. His eyes were closed and his fingers trembled.

Diana reached up an unsteady hand and stroked his thick hair hesitantly. She was shaking violently and she felt weak, defenseless, as if the slightest blow or word would crush her as easily as she might crush an eggshell.

She made an attempt to continue. “You know, when I saw you with Alicia, I suddenly saw myself in a very different light. She looked so—warm and desirable. I began to see how I would look in about thirty years or so, all thin and shrivelled up, alone and unwanted. I wasn’t a very pretty picture to myself. I think that’s what I was running from most of all. But I just couldn’t escape from myself.”

“Hush!” Alex put a finger against Diana’s lips. He caressed them tenderly. “Hush now, it’s my turn to speak. Diana, listen to me very carefully.” He turned her head with lean fingers and made her look at him. “I was unzipping Alicia’s dress because she said the zipper was stuck, that’s all. I know it sounds suspicious, it did to me too, and all I wanted to do was to hurry and get her out of there. So I helped her with it. She was changing in the adjoining room. I wasn’t expecting her to turn around and let the dress fall down. That’s when you came into the room.”

He took a deep breath. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look on your face as you saw Alicia and me together. Diana, so help me God, I never wanted her that night. How could I? My thoughts were all of you.” He touched her hair, her face and her neck with such a loving look that Diana caught her breath, afraid to believe what he was saying.

“You were so beautiful that night,” he murmured, a faraway look in his eyes as he remembered. “I watched you the whole evening, the way you moved and laughed, I’d loved you so much for so long that—”

“What?” she breathed, staring at him, a disbelieving look in her eyes. “Love me? You—loved me, love me now?” Alex nodded, picking up her hands and pressing his fingers against them.

“And all that time you never guessed!” He had to laugh a little at the expression on Diana’s face. “Oh, my dear, it was so obvious, so glaringly obvious. That was why I was so angry with you when you so emphatically put me in my place that day of the picnic. You are my bright and shining ideal that I’ve wanted almost since the day you walked into my office for the first time. I was so sure you felt an attraction for me too. Then you made such a violent withdrawal that I was left with my head spinning and I struck back—I think to hurt you as much as you’d hurt me.” Diana shook her head, her eyes agonised as she touched him in an effort to dispel the bleak memory in his eyes.

Alex looked at her swiftly, the look leaving his face and a light in his eyes beginning to replace it. He bent his head suddenly, taking her lips with an unexpectedness that made her draw in her breath quickly. She kissed him back, hungrily pushing her hands under his shirt to touch his pulsing throat and to caress the strong muscles of his chest.

Alex gathered her up into his arms and moved to the largest chair to sit down in it and pull her down on his lap. She snuggled up close to him, her head on his shoulder and her legs curled comfortably around.

He put his mouth on her hair, moving his face in the dark softness and inhaling the fresh scent. A great sigh moved his chest. He spoke softly. “I want to marry you, Diana. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, to be the one who has the right to touch you and caress you. I want to have you forever.”

“Yes,” she whispered. “Oh, yes. I want that too.” Alex felt her begin to withdraw a little as she pulled back to look up into his face. “But, Alex, I’m not ready. No—listen a moment.” She put her hands over Alex's mouth as she shook her head sharply at him. “I know nothing about love. Nothing. It took me all these months to get to know myself again and I can’t handle being rushed. Please, couldn’t we take our time and enjoy one another for a while? I need to grow up.”

Alex listened, his face sombre. “Diana,” he murmured, one hand touching the side of her face. It sounded like a love song. “I’ll wait as long as you want me to, as long as you like. We’ll grow together. I promise.”

Later, as they were walking and talking, moving to the parking lot, Alex suddenly asked, “Are you going to come back to Mason Steel or are you going to look for work somewhere else?”

Diana stopped short. “Good lord, I never even thought about it! Alex—” she turned towards him, her eyes worried, “I don’t want to come back to Mason Steel. I’m sorry, it’s not that I don’t—”

“Hush!” Alex put a finger to her lips. He smiled down at her, so big and vital that she wanted to cry out to the world how much she loved him. “I don’t want you to come back unless you want to come back. I want you to do what you want to.” He put his arm around her shoulders as they started to walk again, very slowly.

“But I don’t know what I want to do,” Diana protested, her eyes following the cracks in the pavement. “And I’ve got to live somehow before we’re married.”

“Would you like to start your own business?” Alex suggested. “You certainly have the ability to.”

“My own business,” Diana echoed. She frowned. “Where would I get the money for it?”

Alex looked up at the sky, his eyes twinkling with delight. He suggested nonchalantly, “You could always ask for a loan from your fiancé, you know. I hear he’s pretty reasonable about terms.”

Diana looked surprised. She hadn’t even thought of him! “Good heavens—you! Don’t look so amused, of course I forgot you had money. And what did you mean about that remark about ‘terms’? No, forget it! I don’t want to know!” Talking and laughing, they made their way to the cars and parted after making plans to meet later that night.

A knock at the door had Diana racing to throw it open, confident as to who it would be. She was right; it was Alex, lean and long as he lazily propped one shoulder against the doorjamb and looked down at her with a smile. His hair was tousled and carelessly brushed off his brow and his eyes glowed a fiery blue as they raked down Diana’s figure-hugging slacks and woolly sweater. Two deep grooves carved the sides of his mouth as his grin widened. He had taken in the
slight flush on her cheeks that had washed up during his perusal.

“May I come in?” he asked quietly, his voice deep in the silence.

Diana moved jerkily away from the door. “Of course,” she said, laughing a little unsteadily. “Have a seat, and I’ll go to make some coffee.” She headed for the kitchen, intent on getting out of the room.

“Hey, hey, not so fast!” Alex moved quickly and caught Diana’s wrist, pulling her back to him and into the circle of his arms. “You haven’t kissed me yet.” With that, he lowered his head and touched Diana’s lips with a light feathery kiss. Diana closed her eyes and moved up her head to deepen the kiss, but Alex moved away, ending it before it had really begun. “Didn’t you say something about coffee?” he asked, laughing down at her face as she looked at him with disappointment.

Diana sniffed, “It would be more interesting in the kitchen, anyway.” She squealed as Alex slapped her sharply on the behind. “I’m going, all right!” She disappeared.

She put the coffee automatically in the machine as she thought of Alex in the next room. “Make yourself comfortable,” she called out, finishing the coffee-making procedure with efficient movements. She poked her head out of the kitchen doorway and saw Alex seated in a big chair in the living room. “Did you want something to eat?” she asked.

He shook his head. “Not really, unless you did.” She shook her head too and disappeared again.

Carrying the loaded tray into the living room, she set it down on the small table by the sofa and saw the box. She stopped.

Alex, watching her reactions, said quietly, “I went shopping for it after we talked. I wanted to surprise you with something special. If you don’t like it, we can take it back and pick something out together.”

Diana shook her head, still staring at the small black box without touching it. She jumped when Alex touched her arm. He motioned for her to pick it up and she did slowly, almost as if she were afraid the box would bite her. She opened the lid and gasped. Flashes of light seemed to come from within the little box and she turned it back and forth to make the ring catch the light. There was a large diamond in the centre of the ring, with two smaller diamonds in a swirling design on either side of the centre. It was a slim and elegant ring, made for slim and elegant hands.

Alex took the box and the ring, then pulled the ring from its resting place and slid it on Diana’s ring finger on her left hand. She stared fascinated at the winking bright diamond in the centre of the ring. It was a perfect fit.

After a moment, Alex asked, “Do you like it?” She turned to him, her eyes shining.

“Do I like it?” she repeated. “Of course I like it—no, I take that back. I love it!” She moved over to him and put her arms around him, kissing him unrestrainedly. She whispered, “It’s perfect, you couldn’t have picked a more beautiful ring.”

Alex slid his arms around her and pulled back his head to look into her eyes. “I’m glad,” he said simply. “I wanted you to like it.”

Diana nodded, speaking thoughtfully, “Only now we have to think of a date for the wedding.”

“A wedding date!” he exclaimed. “I thought you wanted a little time to yourself before we rushed into marriage?”

“I do, I do,” she assured him. “But I was thinking in a matter of five or six months or so, and that’s not a lot of time to plan a wedding.”

Alex threw back his head and laughed. “And I thought you meant to wait a year or two and I was wondering how I was going to stand waiting that long! Oh, Diana, I love you!” And with that, he took her lips while still chuckling. She started to smile under his lips and he opened one eye to stare at her, then straightened quickly. He muttered, “Why do I feel like I’ve lost my audience?” But she wasn’t paying attention.

“Alex,
we really should send Alicia a wedding announcement, don’t you think?” She chuckled as she said it.

Alex started to grin. “Poetic justice? I’d like to see her face as she opened it up to read it. Now, that would be a picture!” He turned serious and pulled Diana closer in his arms, murmuring softly, “But why are we talking about her when we have better things to think about?” He bent his head and they didn’t talk again for a very long time.

About the Author

Thea Harrison started writing when she was nineteen. In the 1980s and 1990s, she wrote for Harlequin Mills & Boon under the name Amanda Carpenter. The Amanda Carpenter romances have been published in over ten languages, and sold over a million and a half copies worldwide, and are now being reprinted digitally by Samhain Publishing for their Retro Romance line.

For more information, please visit her at:
 
www.theaharrison.com
. You can also find her on Facebook at:
 
www.facebook.com/theaharrison
and on Twitter at: @TheaHarrison.

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