Read A Deep Dark Secret Online
Authors: Kimberla Lawson Roby
Jillian kept quiet and prayed he would get her home safe and sound.
Her father looked straight ahead. “Did you kiss him?”
“No.”
“If you lie to me again, I can’t be responsible for what I might do. Now, tell me the truth.”
“Okay, yes. I did kiss him, but I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it at all.”
She waited for him to say something else, but he didn’t. Not until they drove inside the garage and he switched off the ignition.
He then turned and faced her. “Thank you for being honest.”
His mood had changed drastically, and even at twelve, Jillian knew this wasn’t ordinary behavior.
“I’m sorry for doubting you, because deep down, I knew my princess could never give herself to some little punk, but I had to make sure. I had to make sure you hadn’t turned into the same slutty little tramp your friend Nikki has turned into. Claiming she was jumped by a bunch of girls when she knows full well she was laid up in those woods with some no-good boy.”
Jillian didn’t dare say a word.
“And just so we don’t have to worry about this Kyle character trying to pressure you into doing something dirty and sinful again, I don’t want him calling here anymore.”
“But, Daddy—”
“Either that or I’m telling your mother what I caught you doing. I’ll tell her that I caught you on the side of the school giving Mr. Kyle Davis a blow job. I’ll tell her that you were doing it like a pro, and that this can only mean one thing—that you’ve obviously had a whole lot of practice with it.”
Tears seeped from Jillian’s eyes and down her face, but she quickly wiped them away.
“You’d better dry all of that up before we go inside, because if you don’t, your mom is going to wanna know what’s wrong with you. And she doesn’t need that kind of worry, because Layla isn’t feeling all that well. She came down with some sort of stomach flu when she was at your grandparents’ and that’s why your mom wanted to be dropped off at home with her before I came to pick you up. And now I’m glad she didn’t come with me because she would have been just heartbroken if she’d seen you coming out of the dark with that little boy.”
Jillian sniffled, got out of the car, and tried figuring out who she should feel the sorriest for.
Nikki or herself.
J
ILLIAN OPENED HER EYES, AWAKING FROM A VERY DEEP SLEEP
, and sighed. Last night had been a most eventful evening and one she prayed wouldn’t repeat itself any time soon. Her father had acted like a stoned maniac and had abruptly turned back into the same monster he’d been all along. Things had been so much better over the last few weeks, but now that the evil in him had returned, Jillian wondered what this was going to mean for the two of them.
Then there was Nikki and her unpleasant and seemingly hostile incident, and the question of what had in fact really happened. She’d practically sworn to her story about these so-called girls beating her up, but for some reason, Jillian didn’t believe it. She was almost sure Marcus had something to do with this, but there was no way she could prove it. Nikki had gladly left with him of her own free will, but something had gone terribly wrong.
Plus, where had Marcus been when this posse of girls had confronted Nikki? Not to mention Nikki didn’t have any scratches or bruises on her face, so that was even more reason not to believe the story she’d kept repeating.
Jillian left her bed, went over and opened her blinds, and stood there for a few moments, allowing the sun to shine across her face. She then picked up her cordless phone and dialed Nikki.
Miss G answered after the third ring. “Hello?”
“Hi, Miss G. How are you?”
“I’m fine, honey. How are you?”
“I’m good.”
“You wanna speak to Nikki?”
“Yes, thank you.”
Miss G must have been in the same room with her because Nikki got on right away. “Hi.”
“Hey. How are you?”
“I’m fine. Everything is okay.”
“I was so afraid for you.”
“I was, too, but it’s all over now and that’s all that matters.”
“I wish the police could find out who those girls were.”
“I do, too, but there’s no way they can because I didn’t recognize any of them.”
“Then why do you think they did that to you? Because normally when people want to fight, it’s because they have some sort of issue with you.”
“I don’t know. But hey, I have to go now.”
“Okay, but I’ll be over this afternoon sometime.”
“Thanks, Jill.”
Jillian pressed the end button and wondered why Nikki was
sticking to such an unbelievable lie. It didn’t make any sense, but maybe she had a good reason for telling it.
Jillian looked up when she heard a knock at her door. “Come in.”
It was her mother. “Good morning, sweetie.”
“Good morning, Mom.”
“You should probably call and check on Nikki. See how she’s doing.”
“I just hung up with her.”
“Well, did she tell you anything different?”
Jillian had filled her mother in when she’d gotten home last night, but her mother had seemed just as puzzled as she was. “No. And we didn’t stay on the phone very long. She seemed like she was in a hurry to get off.”
“Mm, mm, mm. It’s so sad, and I just don’t understand it.”
“Neither do I.”
“I’m just glad you were smart enough not to leave the dance until it was completely over and it was time for you to come home.”
Jillian knew that hadn’t been the case, what with her going outside with Kyle, but she couldn’t tell her mother that. She couldn’t, and she hoped her father wouldn’t tell on her either.
“You don’t think some little boy did something to her, do you?”
“I don’t know. When we saw her coming from the back of the school, she was by herself and we never saw anyone else.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you girls to go to any more of these dances.”
Jillian didn’t like the sound of that, because if she couldn’t go
to dances or other evening and weekend events, she’d never get to see Kyle outside of their regular school day. As it was, her father had already banned her from talking to him on the phone.
“Why?”
“Because it’s much too dangerous, and the last thing I want is for something like this to happen to you. People are so crazy nowadays, and there’s just no telling what they might do anymore.”
“This has never happened before, though. Not at our school, and I doubt that it’ll happen again.”
“We’ll see, but just the idea that something happened to Nikki last night is enough for us to be a lot more cautious. But like I said, we’ll see.”
“Are we still going to the grocery store?”
“Yes, and actually, I’m about to jump in the shower now.”
“Can you drop me off at Nikki’s when we finish shopping?”
“Of course.”
“Is Layla going with us?”
“I’m going to check on her once I get dressed. I’m sure all she had was some sort of twenty-four-hour bug, though, and that she’s fine.”
“Good morning, Mommy,” Layla said, walking into her sister’s room and hugging her mom’s waist. “Good morning, Jill.”
“Well, I guess Jill and I talked you up, hunh? Good morning. Are you feeling better today?”
“A lot better. Are we going somewhere?”
Jillian and her mom laughed because Layla loved going anywhere, even if it was just down the street to the pharmacy.
“We’re going to the grocery store and then maybe to run a
couple of quick errands.”
“Oh. Then are we leaving now?”
“First, you have to get some clothes on,” their mother said, walking Layla out into the hallway and back toward her bedroom.
Jillian smiled at how cute her baby sister was and then went to her closet to see what she was going to wear today. After a few minutes, though, Layla came back into her sister’s room and jumped onto her bed.
“I thought you were getting ready, little girl?”
“Jiiiill,” she complained, the same as always. “I’m not a little girl.”
Jillian smiled. “Oh yeah, that’s right. I keep forgetting. You’re a big girl.”
“Is that what you’re going to put on?” Layla asked, pointing at the hot-pink velour sweat suit Jillian was holding.
“Yep.”
“That’s pretty, and I’m going to tell Mom that I want to wear my pink sweat suit, too, so we can be dressed alike.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“So, did you have fun at the big dance last night?”
Jillian knew the “big dance” experience had been more like a nightmare than anything else, but she said, “Yeah, it was okay.”
“Is there going to be another one?”
“In a couple of months or so maybe.”
“Are you going?”
“Probably.”
“Can I go with you?”
Jillian got a huge kick out of Layla and how she couldn’t have
cared less about asking the same questions over and over again, even if she’d already been told no before.
“Remember, the dances are only for the students who go to my school.”
“Well, can I go somewhere else with you? Can I go with you the next time you go visit Nikki?”
“Well, not next time, which will be this afternoon, but maybe when I go over there another time. And then next weekend, we can go to the movies, if you want.”
Layla hopped off the bed and hugged her sister. “I love you so much, Jill. You’re the best sister in the whole wide world.”
“I love you, too, Layla. You’re the best sister in the whole wide world, too, and don’t you ever forget that.”
“I won’t,” she said, and then started out of the room when she heard their mother calling her.
Jillian gazed at Layla and then something dawned on her. It was true that her father was an awful man and that lately she’d been wishing and praying her mother had never met him, but the thing was, had he never become Jillian’s stepfather—had he never married her mother—there would be no precious little Layla. Jillian would have no beautiful baby sister at all, and this she simply couldn’t imagine. She couldn’t imagine living one moment without the little girl who meant everything to her, and what a revelation that was. The kind of revelation that made Jillian’s painful situation seem just a bit more bearable—the kind that encouraged her to keep her faith as strong as possible.
“D
O YOU WANT TO ORDER A PIZZA OR SOMETHING
?” J
ILLIAN
asked Nikki.
“No.”
Jillian had been sitting in Nikki’s room for more than an hour, but in all that time, she hadn’t done any more than answer Jillian’s questions. Even then, she didn’t elaborate and barely moved one inch. She was lying in her bed, turned on her left side, and was staring out her window.
“I’m so sorry that this happened to you,” Jillian said for the umpteenth time. “And I wish I had stopped you from leaving with Marcus because maybe then you wouldn’t have met those girls in the first place.”
Jillian waited for a response. But there wasn’t one.
“Nikki, please talk to me. I know you’re sad and that you probably don’t feel like being bothered by anyone, but I don’t think it’s good to keep all of this to yourself.”
“You mean like when you kept your little problems to yourself not very long ago and cut me off like some stranger?”
Jillian knew she was right, but her feelings were still hurt. Nikki’s words were so cold and unkind. “I’m sorry. And I’ll leave if you want me to.”
Jillian waited for her to say something and when she didn’t, she grabbed her black leather purse and started toward the door.
“No, Jill, don’t. I didn’t mean it. Please don’t leave.”
Jillian dropped her bag back down and sat on the side of the bed Nikki was facing.
“This is just so hard for me to talk about is all. I can’t believe anyone would hurt me like this. And for no reason, because I didn’t do anything.”
“I can’t believe it either. It’s so ridiculous, what they did to you.”
“I would never treat anyone that way, so why would someone want to harm me?”
“I don’t know. I wish I did, Nik, but I don’t.”
“I’ll bet everyone at school will be talking about this for weeks. I’ll be talked about and gawked at every day from now on.”
“They’ll probably talk about it for a while, but no one will blame you for getting jumped by more than one person. Especially when you didn’t even know those girls.”
“I just don’t understand why they would do it,” she said, crying. “Three against one. It was so unfair.”
Jillian rubbed her back, trying to comfort her, but had no words. She was speechless. Partly because she didn’t know how many more times Nikki would want to hear her say how sorry she was, and partly because deep down she knew there was more to the story. There just had to be.
After a little time had passed, Nikki sat up and reached over for more tissues. “So, what’s up with you and Kyle? With all this craziness, I never got to ask you. Did you guys have fun last night?”
“We did until the very end when my father saw us coming from around the side of the building.”
Nikki squinted her eyes. “Why were you over there?”
“We didn’t want anyone to see us kissing.”
Nikki sniffled and then smiled for the first time since just before she’d left the dance with Marcus. “Really?”
“Yep.”
“Wow. Kyle is a really nice boy, Jill, and you’re really lucky to
have him. I know I said some nasty things about him yesterday, but I only said them because I didn’t want to hear what you were saying.”
“I like him, but now I can’t even talk to him on the phone.”
“Why?”
“When my father saw us, he got upset and started talking a bunch of stuff about Kyle wanting me to have sex with him. Which isn’t even true, because Kyle already said he doesn’t expect me to do anything I’m not ready for.”
Nikki looked out of the window again, tears rolling down her face.
“Nik, what is it? Did I say something wrong?”
“No. It’s those girls and what they did to me. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t stop thinking about it.”
“It’ll get better, though. You’ll see.”
Nikki finally dropped off to sleep, and Jillian read the latest issue of
Glamour
magazine. It was around four in the afternoon, and she wondered if Kyle was home. She knew her father had basically forbidden her to have anything to do with him, but she really wanted to call him.
She debated a while longer and then picked up Nikki’s phone from the nightstand.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Kyle. It’s me.”
“Oh. When I saw the last name Gordon, I thought maybe it was for one of my parents.”
“I’m at Nikki’s.”
“Really? How is she?”
“She’s okay.”
“That’s good.”
“So, have you been in all day?”
“My mom took me out to get some more athletic gear I needed, but that was it.”
“Oh, okay.”
“So, tell me something. Why did you get so upset when we kissed?”
Jillian had known he was probably going to ask her about that, but she’d been hoping it would be much later in the conversation and possibly on a whole other day.
“I guess I was kind of nervous, because I’ve never kissed a boy before.”
“Yeah, but you acted like we were doing something bad and almost like I was hurting you.”
“Well, I didn’t mean to act that way, and I’m sorry.”
“Maybe it’ll be a lot better next time.”
“It will.”
“So, Nikki’s really okay?” he said, changing the subject.
“Well, sort of, but she’s sleeping now.”
“Has she told you the truth yet about what happened?”
Jillian looked at Nikki, checking to see if she was in fact asleep, and said no.
“Well, I know the whole story.”
“What story?”
“About Marcus and two of his friends from his neighborhood running a train on her. All three of them took turns doing it to her, and then they left her in the woods all by herself. And I also heard she was fine with it until Marcus started calling her all kinds of tramps and b’s and told her he was through with her.
And that’s when she started crying and telling him she would do anything he wanted.”
Kyle must have been mistaken. He was making this all up, and Jillian didn’t know why. “Who told you that?”
“One of my boys called me this morning. The whole team knows about it, because Marcus has already been bragging the same as usual.”
“I don’t believe that. Marcus is no good, but this is even too low-down for him. I just don’t think he would go that far.”