A Deal With the Devil (27 page)

Kate locked the door and turned around, her expression stern as she said, “What do you mean
mostly
?” She folded her arms and looked at Amanda in a way that made her feel like a fifth grader about to be scolded for not completing her homework. “You were supposed to seduce him, not fight with him. Remember?”

Amanda held up a hand as Kate waltzed by, headed to the kitchen. “Don’t start with the seduction lessons. I’m not in the mood.” She fell in behind her, plopping onto a barstool while Kate shuffled around the kitchen preparing a pot of coffee.

“All I have is decaf. I’m off the hard stuff until the little one arrives.” Kate rubbed her belly.

“I don’t need caffeine. I’m high on anger.”

Kate arched a brow. “Okay, out with it. What did you fight about?”

“Take a wild guess. Since we only ever fight about two things, there’s a fifty percent chance you’ll be right.”

Kate stopped her coffee preparations and shot a sideways glance at Amanda. “Rob.”

“We eventually went there, of course, but the fight started with Max.” Amanda paused for a moment, dreading the confession she was about to make. Or more specifically, she dreaded Kate’s inevitable reaction to it. “I told Jake I went to see his grandfather yesterday and he flipped out.”

Kate dropped the coffee filter and smacked her palms on the black flecked granite, her steely-eyed gaze making Amanda wish she could shrink down under the counter. “You went to see Max yesterday and you didn’t tell Jake?” Kate yelled.

“Man, you’ve got a set of lungs on you. There’s no need to bellow. I’m sitting right here,” Amanda said. “And I didn’t tell you because Max asked me not to.”

Kate’s eyes bugged out. “And you
listened
to him.”

“Of course I listened to him. He asked me to keep the meeting private and I wanted to honor his wishes.”

Kate tilted her head and shot her the look Amanda knew meant she was about to receive a tongue-lashing, Alabama-style. “Are you
insane
? You know Jake’s feelings about Max. You never should have agreed to go, let alone, go, keep it a secret and then spill it later. That’s just plain stupid. But since you decided to do it without telling him, you should’ve just kept it a secret. In this case, two wrongs
do not
make a right. You had to know Jake would be upset.”

“I wasn’t going to tell him. But I started to feel guilty, you know” —Amanda tucked a few brunette curls behind her ear— “after what happened between us yesterday and all.”

Kate folded her arms so they rested atop her belly. “I don’t blame Jake for being upset.”

“Why are you all on his side?”

“Why didn’t you tell Jake before you went? Or me? You kept the meeting with Max a secret from me too. Me!” She jabbed a thumb at her chest. “Your best friend. You told me you and Jake spent the afternoon in bed; blamed that for the reason you missed the cake tasting. You lied to me.”

“So to be clear, you’re really mad because I kept a secret from
you.
Not about my failure to tell Jake. Did I get that right?”

Kate pursed her lips and appeared to consider Amanda’s words as she continued.

“I met Max right after Jake left. I didn’t have time to think it all through; everything happened so fast. And I didn’t have a spare second to call you.” To be clear, she hadn’t had the inclination either. Even now, yesterday afternoon felt like one big super-confusing swirl of emotion. And at the time, she definitely hadn’t had her head screwed on right.

“I don’t get you,” Kate’s voice took on an edge as she poured their coffee. “You shouldn’t keep secrets from me. I’m on your side, remember?”

“You could’ve fooled me.” Amanda returned Kate’s disapproving glare, trying to shame her for the lack of female solidarity. “Maybe if you could keep a secret from your husband, I would have. But since you can’t, I’ve learned to edit what I tell you because I know you’ll just run home and blab everything to Sam.”

Kate had the grace to look slightly embarrassed as she pushed a mug across the counter. “Fair enough. I guess I forgive you.”

“What a relief.” Amanda rolled her eyes and, without even bothering to taste it, she added a dash of cream and another smidgen of sugar to her brew. Kate never got the mixture quite right. “Can we get back to the reason I’m here?” Kate looked at her expectantly as Amanda stirred her coffee and said, “Look, I know I should’ve told Jake before I went, but it all happened so fast. Max called. Jake stopped by right after. Then, we ended up sleeping together, after which, he immediately bolted. The whole thing was too confusing, so excuse me for not living up to your expectations.” Amanda sipped her coffee, made a face and then reached for more cream.

Kate sipped her own coffee and rolled her wrist to encourage Amanda to continue.

“And then during dinner tonight, everything went so great,” Amanda said, placing her elbows on the counter and gazed up at the ceiling. “Actually, dinner was so amazing. It felt like the way we used to be, only better. We had this great conversation and, between the wine and the food and our kiss, I started to think . . .” Amanda sat up straight and tapped a fingernail on the side of her mug. “I felt guilty for keeping my visit with Max a secret and so I decided to confess.”

“I guess that makes sense. But aside from the fact that you probably just blurted out your confession while strolling down the sidewalk—”

Amanda frowned. “How did you know?

Kate rolled her eyes. “How long have we known each other? You’re absolutely clueless where men are concerned. As mama would say, you’re like a hillbilly at a debutante ball. For someone so genius at business, you’re completely dense where men are concerned.”

“Gee thanks.”

Kate shrugged and shook her head in a way that seemed to say
you poor thing
. “What did you expect Jake’s reaction to be? You knew he’d be upset when he learned you saw Max.” Kate’s frown made the depth of her disapproval clear. “You should’ve chosen a more delicate way of coming clean instead of just blurting it out the way you did.”

Amanda considered her advice and tried not to feel irritated that her friend knew her weaknesses so well. “I guess, but I thought he’d get over it. I didn’t expect him to verbally attack me.”

“How did he verbally attack you?”

“He spewed out a bunch of crazy ass lies about my brother, which I won’t even go into because it will just piss me off all over again. But during the worst of it, he said I spent the past ten years trying to make up for the fact that my parents died because it’s the one thing in my life I haven’t been able to control or fix. He claimed I’m wasting my life trying to make everything perfect for Rob and as a result, all I’ve really done is kept him from growing up. According to Jake, that’s my ‘real issue’” Amanda used air quotes to emphasize the point. “Like I care what he thinks.”

Kate didn’t comment as she pulled out a barstool and squirmed around, trying to get comfortable.

“Don’t you think that’s mean?” Amanda prodded her.

Kate cast a sideways glance while she took a sip of coffee. Then she cleared her throat and said, “I think it’s sort of true.”

Amanda’s head snapped around. “What is
with
you today? If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were Jake in disguise.”

“You know how I feel about your parenting skills
and
your brother.”

“Are you saying you
agree
with Jake?”

“On this topic, I do.” Kate sounded gentle but firm. “But we’ll never see this particular subject from the same perspective, so I think it’s best if we just agree to disagree.”

“Hang on a minute.” Amanda turned to face Kate straight on. “You’re wrong about this and I want to know why you feel the way you do.”

Kate heaved a theatrical sigh. “Fine, but you won’t like it.” She paused and took a sip of coffee. Then glanced at Amanda sideways and looked down again as she said, “Ever since your parents died, you’ve taken your parental responsibilities very seriously.”

Amanda spread her arms wide, palms to the ceiling. “And this is a bad thing?”

“
Too
seriously,” Kate said, eyeing her sternly.

“Parenting is serious business, especially when you’re only nineteen and thrust into the role overnight. I had a lot to figure out and it all happened in real time.”

“I’ll agree that you stepped up admirably. I doubt I could’ve done the same. But you never shared your feelings. That thing Jake said about their deaths being the one thing you couldn’t control; he nailed it. I could never quite put my finger on it, but as soon as I heard what he said, I knew it was true,” Kate said.

“What are you talking about?”

“You refuse to let anyone help you—even though my parents offered hundreds of times,” Kate said. “Instead, you insist on figuring the whole parent thing out for yourself so you spent all your free time reading books and blogs and listening to call-in radio shows.”

Amanda bristled. “Do I get any credit for being proactive or resourceful?”

“You’d get more credit if you admitted—at least occasionally—that you might be in over your head. If you bothered to ask for help from people who have actual experience; people who care about you.”

“Maybe I don’t need anyone’s help.” Amanda found it impossible to keep the defensiveness out of her voice.

“See what I mean?” Kate’s pursed lips spoke volumes. “Everyone needs help occasionally, Ms. Smarty Pants. Even
you
,” Kate said. “You had no idea what you were doing.” She shook her head. “I mean . . . you’ve spent the past ten years Googling parenting advice.
Googling
!” Kate circled a finger near her temple and rolled her eyes to emphasize the point. “Hello crazy.”

Amanda lifted her chin and said, “You can learn a lot from Google.”

“It’s a great resource when you’re researching some random fact. But Google practically raised your brother and since you’re in the marketing biz, you should be all too aware you can’t believe everything you read online.” Kate shook her head sadly. “I mean, no wonder Rob has issues.”

Amanda’s cheeks grew warm as the words hit home. She sipped her coffee as Kate continued.

“You could’ve turned to dozens of people; experienced parents who would’ve been happy—who desperately
wanted
—to help. But instead, you relied on yourself and Google.” Kate bit her lip and paused for a moment before she said, “It’s like . . .” Her voice trailed off and she tapped a fingernail on the granite countertop.

“It’s like what?” Amanda asked, though she felt pretty sure she didn’t want to hear the rest.

Kate turned to face her. “Your parents always emphasized your role as big sister and I know you took it very seriously; maybe too seriously. And when they died, you took it to an extreme. I’m sure your parents would never have intended for you to go this far. You placed all kinds of pressure on yourself to know exactly what to do in every situation. You tried to be a model parent and to make life perfect for Rob.”

“I don’t understand why this is bad.”

“The intention wasn’t bad. Unfortunately you didn’t know what you were doing. And being so determined to figure it out on your own, you could never see things objectively with Rob; never realized when your own actions might be adding to his issues.”

“I don’t see what’s wrong with trying to be a parent to my brother or for trying to figure things out on my own.”

“I know you don’t; you’re far too close to it,” Kate said. “But what you don’t see is the challenge it’s created with Rob. Or you for that matter, but we’ll get to that in a minute. You don’t get that by always catering to Rob, by covering his mistakes, he avoids paying the consequences associated with them. And therefore, all you’ve really done is to prevent him from growing up.”

Anger welled and Amanda opened her mouth to protest, but Kate held up a hand.

“And before you say it’s not true, let’s look at the facts.” Kate arched a brow and her green eyes issued a challenge. “Rob managed to con a hundred grand from you over the course of the last six months; a hundred thousand dollars!” Kate’s palm smacked the countertop, coffee sloshed from Amanda’s mug onto the granite. “In order to get out from under that debt, you had to agree to a fake engagement and then a real marriage, followed by I guess a real divorce a few months from now.
You’re
paying the consequences of Rob’s actions, just as you always do.” Kate threw her hands high. “But this time, it’s even worse. Rob has partnered with a bunch of low lifes on his restaurant. He’s even involved in illegal gambling—”

Amanda sprang from the barstool. “You’re listening to Jake’s lies?” Amanda glared at her. “I should’ve known he’d spread his poison to Sam. Don’t tell me you
believe
him.”

“I don’t know for sure the rumors are true. I only know what Sam found out after he asked around.”

“What
Sam
found out?” Her eye’s narrowed. “So your husband helped Jake dig up dirt on my brother. You’re kidding, right?”