Authors: Sandra S. Kerns
“Were you Chaney’s doctor twelve years ago?” Jed asked before the doctor could speak.
“I was in my last year of residency here twelve years ago.”
“But you know about her history,” Jed said. He wanted to know everything about that accident and if Chaney had really been pregnant. The way the doctor was considering him, Jed wasn’t sure the man would tell him anything.
“Yes. A horse threw her then as well. Her leg broke in two places and she cracked a couple ribs.”
Jed closed his eyes and pictured Chaney laid up with a broken leg and cracked ribs. If he had known, he would have come back in a flash. Not even her father would have kept him from her.
“But it was the miscarriage that devastated her,” the doctor said quietly.
Jed’s eyes flew open and he stared at the man so hard his eyes hurt. They were nothing compared to the pain in his chest though.
“Miscarriage?” he asked and watched the doctor nod in affirmation. No wonder Chaney hated him. She believed he
abandoned her and their child.
When he could think past the pain, he remembered the doctor’s words when Ch
aney had asked about the baby.
“So your reply to her question about the baby being all right just now was to save her from facing that devastation again before she’s strong enough.” When the doctor didn’t reply Jed’s h
eartbeat kicked into high gear.
“You mean she’s pregnant, now?” No. God would not do this to him, to Chaney. Not now.
“Yes,” the doctor answered. “I’m not sure if it was the fact that I already knew her history or what, but I checked to see if she was pregnant before we did any x-rays. I was hoping this would be good news. If it’s a problem for you . . .”
Jed had turned his head toward the curtained area where Chaney was. When the doctor’s words registered, he turned back and faced him. “Problem?”
Other than the fact that my marriage is a sham and any rights I might have as a father Ash or this child are slim to none. Not to mention the fact my wife has been lying to me since day one.
“No, not for me,” he told the doctor. “But Chaney’s not going to be happy about it.”
“She certainly looks happy about it.”
Jed looked in the direction of Chaney’s bed again. “That’s because she thinks she’s eighteen and pregnant with the child of a man she loves.” When he met the doctor’s gaze, he realized how strange what he’d said would sound to the man.
“From what I overheard I assumed you were the father of her baby.”
“I was,” Jed said. He was about to answer what he knew the doctor would ask next when Chaney’s voice cut into his thoughts.
“What the hell?”
Despite everything, all the problems he was about to face, and the shame he now carried knowing the past, Jed felt a thrill at the so
und of the aggravated question.
“Chaney’s back,” he said with a grin as he quickly crossed the hallway.
It was obvious to him that she’d thrown the covers back and tried to swing her legs over the side of the bed in one swift movement. Her abrupt actions had been a mistake as she had one hand on her head and one on her shin that had smacked against the bed’s guardrails. When she lifted her gaze and saw him, her eyes grew wide as if surprised. A sense of déjà vu rolled over him. It appeared Chaney was suffering from another memory loss. Only this time it was the last fifteen minutes.
“Jed, where am I?” she asked then waved his answer off. “How did I get here? I was out at the . . . wait, did you catch them?”
“Catch who? I found you in the middle of nowhere thrown from that monster you call a horse,” he told her in a stern tone.
“Sterling? Is he all right?”
Jed’s temper was on the rise. Everyone that cared about her was worried sick and all she was concerned about was that damn horse. With extreme effort, he managed not to scream at her. “For now.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means--”
“Hello, Mrs. Sampson, good to see you awake again,” the doctor said.
Though every cell in his body wanted nothing more than to tell Chaney what he planned on doing to that horse, he knew the doctor’s interruption had been timely. Now was not the time.
“Again?”
When Chaney sent a confused glance in his direction, Jed didn’t have the courage to tell her everything that had happened a few minutes ago. “You came to a few minutes ago for a short time, but were a bit,” he searched his mind for a viable explanation. “Disoriented.”
Chaney considered Jed’s answer, and the way he’d given it. The evasiveness was out of character. The . . . aughhh, it was too much to think about with her hea
d pounding like a sledgehammer.
“How are you feeling now?” the doctor asked.
Her gaze swung to his face. He looked familiar. “Do I know you?” she asked a second before an old memory popped into her head.
“We met--”
“I remember now,” Chaney interrupted not wanting the doctor to say anything about her accident twelve years ago. “And to answer your question I feel fine. Where are my clothes?”
“You’re staying the night,” Jed’s voice answered instead of the doctor.
Whipping her head back in his direction was a mistake, but not one she would admit to. Swallowing the nausea that rose in her throat, she forced herself to hold his gaze. “I don’t think so,” she told him. Noting his wide stance and folded arms Chaney feared a battle was in the making. A battle she really wasn’t up to, but was determined to win.
“I really think we should keep an eye on you at least tonight,” the doctor said. Chaney didn’t bother looking at him. He had no control over her and she knew it. Her adversary was the man with his eyes staring daggers at her.
“How long have you known?” Jed asked.
“Known? About the rustlers?” Chaney asked wondering why he had changed topics. What was he doing, trying to confuse me in hopes of making me remain in the hospital?
“About--”
“I don’t think she does,” the doctor interrupted Jed’s words and Chaney’s train of thought.
“I don’t know what?” she asked. It must be the headache causing her confusion.
“You’re pregnant.”
Jed’s words slammed into her with the same force as the sledgehammer that still pounded in her head.
A baby? Jed’s baby? Just like the last time she’d . . . Terror seized her heart. Fear had a strangle hold on her lungs. One hand covered her stomach and she grabbed for the guardrail with the other only to find Jed’s strong hand. He must have seen the horror in her eyes because his steel hard gaze of a moment ago was now filled with concern. Before she could voice her fears, he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close.
“Don’t worry. It’s okay this time. You’re all right, and so is the baby.”
Relief washed over her and she gladly accepted the warmth and support of Jed’s body. It took a little while for Jed’s exact words to sink in. It’s okay
this
time, meant he knew about the last time she’d ended up in the hospital. Then again, maybe he meant it was okay this time because she hadn’t broken anything. Of course, she hadn’t told him about breaking anything last time either. The more she thought about it as she let his heat seep into her; she hadn’t told him there had been a last time. So, why was he saying this time?
Chaney caught herself before shaking her head in frustration. Her head was pounding enough from the lump and her confusion. She didn’t need to make stupid moves to add to it, but she did need to free herself from his embrace before she got too used to it.
“So, I didn’t break anything?” she asked the doctor trying to focus on anything but the baby.
“No, but with the concussion and the added factor of the pregnancy, we want to keep you for observation to be on the safe side.”
“But I’ll get excellent care at home. I’m sure Martha won’t let me out of her sight,” Chaney said. She really hated hospitals and the memories they held.
“Could we have a minute alone, Doc,” she heard Jed say.
To avoid eye contact with Jed, Chaney had been watching the doctor and saw the slight grin that crept on his face when Jed spoke. Chaney ignored the desperation that had her wanting to call the man back. Anything, anyone was better than having to face Jed’s wrath because she was pregnant. But, letting Jed know she didn’t want to face him would be worse.
“Is it just the fact that it’s my child you carry or would you be so careless about any pregnancy?” Jed demanded.
Chaney forgot common sense as she swung her gaze to face her accuser. “I beg your pardon? I would never--”
“What the hell do you think you’ve been doing for t
he last few weeks?” he growled.
“I didn’t know I was pregnant.”
“Well you do now. Does Martha know what to do if you start hemorrhaging? Does she know what to do if you have any side effects from the concussion?”
Chaney only stared at him
unable to believe the assault.
“Well, does she?”
“I-I don’t know. But I’m fine. The doctor said so.”
“The doctor said he wanted to keep you overnight for observation. I know you probably aren’t thrilled about this pregnancy. I understand that I am the last man on earth you want to have a child with, but the reality is it happened. Is it too much to ask for you to do whatever the doctor says to make sure you and the child are safe?”
Chaney stared at him. He didn’t sound upset about the fact she was pregnant only the possibility that she was unhappy about it. She reached over to cover his hand on the rail.
“Jed, I didn’t mean to make you think I don’t care. I would never,” she held up her hand to stop his interruption. “Never do anything to harm the baby. I promise, I didn’t know. I’ve been so busy with problems at the ranch, I thought my exhaustion, crankiness and lack of appetite were from stress.” Granted, she had attributed the exhaustion to the fact that she hadn’t slept a full night since Jed had moved out, but she wasn’t about to let him know that.
The stare Jed aimed at her since before she began to speak had only increased in intensity. The natural warm sky blue of his eyes now appeared dark as a bottomless well. A chill ran up her spine with the thought.
“So it’s the damned ranch again. It’s more important to you than your health or your . . .
our
child’s.”
When he began to turn away from her, Chaney rea
ched out and grabbed his wrist.
“No, Jed, you’re wrong.” He didn’t turn back to face her so she continued. “Yes, the ranch is important. It’s my livelihood. It’s how I will afford to take care of my baby.”
Chaney didn’t realize the folly of her words until Jed snatched his wrist from her grip. When he faced her again, the mistake was clear.
“Your baby?” he asked in his soft as worn leather voice. If Chaney had been in better shape, she would know by his tone of voice that she was in deep trouble. “Why do I suddenly get the feeling this isn’t an accidental pregnancy?”
“Jed, I didn’t know.”
“Didn’t know you were pregnant? I believe you. That you didn’t know it was poss
ible? That’s another question.”
His heated gaze held hers with such intensity Chaney couldn’t find the words to defend herself. To remind him she had been using birth control. Before she could open her mouth to tell him, his gaze changed. He’d come to a conclusion, and it obviously wasn’t in her favor.
He shook his head and his mouth turned up in a wry grin.
“I’m not usually so dense,” he said with an eerie chuckle. “Though, looking back, around you I always have been. Don’t worry, Chaney. I’ll take care of your precious ranch. I’ll even hold up my end of our deal for the rest of the year. But, understand this. I will never, ever let you shut me out of
my
child’s life.”
Though she tried to speak, Chaney found herself mute. In his present frame of mind, there wouldn’t have been any use in he
r trying to explain anyway.
“You will be staying the night in the hospital,” he told her and Chaney unable to do otherwise, nodded her acceptance. “I’ll send Belle in to stay with you. Tomorrow I’ll pick you up and take you back to your beloved ranch.”
“Jed -- I--”
“Save it, Chaney. It doesn’t matter anymore,” he said then stepped out of the curtained area.
Chaney couldn’t stop the tears that spilled from her eyes. Her thoughts from when she flew off Sterling’s back earlier rang like a gong in her head.
Jed doesn’t know. He doesn’t know.
She looked up when Belle entered, but couldn't stop crying. When her sister hugged her, the tears continued. She didn’t want Belle’s comforting arms around her. She wanted Jed. She loved Jed. Why hadn
’t she told him?
He’ll never believe you now.
***
Chapter
Nine
Two weeks later, around seven in the morning, Chaney stood in the kitchen and stared out the back window. She watched the men gather outside the barn to receive their orders from Jed. When he finished speaking, they would file toward the house for breakfast. Everyone except Jed, as he had for the past few weeks, he would climb in Dale’s truck and drive back to his uncle’s to work there for four or five hours before returning. After he checked to make sure the men had followed the orders he had given earlier, he would come to the house, close himself in the office and do paper work until dinner. After dinner he would help the men with the evening chores before going back to Dale’s to do the same and then he would finally return to McBride’s Pride and close himself in the office again.
“Is everything all right, baby?” Martha asked from behind her.
Baby. The simple word had tears springing in Chaney’s eyes. She hadn’t told anyone about the baby yet. Not even her lawyer, even though if she had the ranch would be hers free and clear.
“Fine, Martha,” Chaney said pasting a smile on her face before she turned around. Needing something to keep her busy, she had started helping Martha with meals after a few days out of the hospital. “The men look awfully hungry though. We’d better get busy and finish getting breakfast ready.”
“Is Jed coming in this morning?”
Chaney knew the supposedly innocent question was anything but. She also knew the answer before she turned and watched him climb in the cab of the truck. “No, he’s got to go check on the hands at Dale’s.”
“I don’t see how he does it,” Martha said as she pulled biscuits from the oven. “Running two ranches, and working in his shop. I don’t know how you two find any time to be alone.”
“Jed’s been working in the shop, too?”
Martha turned and aimed a curious glance Chaney’s way. “You didn’t know?”
Know? How could she know? She and Jed only spoke when he stopped by her room to ask if she was all right and at dinner. Chaney knew he was really asking if the baby was all right, not her. Dinner was a show they put on for the hands and Martha. At night, he would stay until after Martha went to bed. Then he would make sure Chaney herself was tucked in before going back to sleep at his uncle’s house and then start the whole charade over again the next morning.
The day Chaney had come home from the hospital she had told Jed about the disturbance that had caused Sterling to throw her. Though he had promised to look into it she’d heard nothing more on that topic or anything remotely associated to the running of the ranch other than a perfunctory ‘things are fine’ now and then. Nothing the least bit personal or intimate slipped past their lips anymore.
“Well, I mean, I knew he was spending time there,” she lied. “I didn’t realize he had so many orders that he would be spending so much time there already.”
“Oh yes. The men said they could hear his saws and such whining into the long hours of the night. Of course, I’ve half a mind to tell him he should turn them off and come spend some time with his wife.”
“No, Martha,” Chaney said quickly. When the housekeeper cast an inquiring gaze her way, Chaney realized how sternly she’d spoken. “I mean, you know how Jed is about being ordered around. Besides, working in the shop is how he deals with the stress from working both ranches. You do remember ranching was never one of Jed
’s favorite things.”
Martha shook her head and stacked some more pancakes on a platter. “Well, I guess it isn’t my business anyway. You young people have your own ideas about marriage and such nowadays.”
Chaney was grateful when the door opened and the men started filing in effectively ending the conversation. Oh, she had her own idea of what marriage should be all right, and that’s not what she’d gotten. But, that was something else she wasn’t going to discuss with Martha.
By mid-morning, Chaney decided she’d stayed away from the barn long enough. She was fine. The doctor had given her a clean bill of health and it was time she took back control of her life and her ranch. As she walked toward the corral, the strength that she’d been praying would return seemed to flow into her. Sterling was alone at the far corner of the corral. The stallion never let anyone but her ride him. After two weeks of being cooped up the poor thing was probably going as insane as she felt. When he saw her, he whinnied and made a beeline t
o where she stood at the fence.
The reunion was bittersweet. As she rested her head against his and stroked his velvet muzzle Chaney wished Jed could lo
ve her as much as Sterling did.
It won’t happen now. You lied one too many times. Feeling sorry for yourself won’t help either.
Chaney lifted her head and scratched the horse’s ears. “I bet you’re itching for a run, aren’t you boy?” She laughed when he tossed his head and snorted loudly. The laughter felt good and sent another wave of strength flowing through her.
Then, in the sound of a hoof beat, the strength disappeared.
Chaney looked out across the corral to the land beyond. A lone rider, hell bent on speed, rode in her direction. Fear at the spectacle should have her running for the house. Fear wasn’t what coursed through her veins. It was longing. When the rider jumped the fence into the corral, the very breath left her body.
“You’re not thinking about getting on that beast.”
Chaney was still in awe from watching him take that jump. No man she’d ever known rode like Jed. For all his insistence that he hated ranching and everything to do with it, the man was born to ride.
“Chaney?”
“Hmm? No, no, I just came out for a visit,” she lied. Taking a ride had been exactly what she was planning a moment ago.
“Right,” Jed said dismounting. He handed the reins to the stable boy who emerged from the barn. “Could you cool him down for me?” he asked the hand and recei
ved a nod and a grin in answer.
She tried to ignore the jealousy she felt at Jed’s easy manner with her employees. Instead, she focused on his aversion to her horse. Jed and Sterling seemed to be facing off. Like two stallions challenging each other for a mare.
Now you are really reaching, Chaney. The last person Jed wants is you.
The standoff lasted at least a full minute and the ending sent Chaney for a loop. Sterling quietly turned and walked back to the far side of the corral.
“You are not to ride that horse,” Jed said pointing in the direction Sterling had walked.
As a rule, the quickest way to start a fight with her was to order her not to do something. The memory of losing her first baby, and the miracle that she hadn’t lost this
one, helped control her tongue.
“I won’t.” She was pleased at the surprised look on Jed’s face when she agreed to his command. “I told you I would be careful. He needs a good run though. He shouldn’t be cooped up in the corral for so long.”
Jed climbed up on the fence and sat a foot or so away from her. It would have been nice to have him closer, but she was happy just to have him talking to her for now.
“I’ll take care of it.”
“He won’t let anyone else ride him, Jed. He never has.”
“I said I’ll take care of it.”
His stern tone told Chaney arguing would be futile. She decided Jed could find out for himself how true her words were.
“I figured it out.”
Chaney glanced at his profile as he looked out over her land. It took a moment before she realized what he was talking about. “The rustlers?”
“Not the rustlers, the pregnancy.” His gaze didn’t leave the horizon and his even tone of voice didn’t change.
Chaney swallowed hard and her hands that had rested in her lap gripped the fence now. “Figured it out? I don’t understand.”
At least I hope I don’t understand.
“It’s part of your father’s will.”
If Chaney kept her nails long, they would have embedded themselves in the wood of the fence railing. “How did you come to a conclusion like that?”
He didn’t answer right away. Chaney started to worry he wouldn’t. If that were the case, she didn’t have a clue how she was going to defend herself. Guilty as she might be, she still had the right to a defense.
Do you?
“When my anger cooled enough for my brain to think, it wasn’t difficult.”
Well it was difficult for her. She hadn’t believed her hardhearted father could have thought up something so despicable. Why did the idea occur to a man of Jed’s character?
There you go again, Chaney, defending Jed. Remember, he walked out on you.
“Please enlighten me.”
“It isn’t a pretty story. When I figured it all out, it put our relationship back in perspective.”
Chaney didn’t want to hear his perspective on their relationship right now. She had a feeling she would like it less than the upcoming explanation.
“The will required you to marry before your thirtieth birthday and stay married for at least one year.” His posture straightened and his hands gripped the fence rail dangerously close to Chaney’s but still not touching. “Why one year I began to wonder. Why not two or five or even forever? Then it came to me . . . an heir. Your father wanted to make sure the ranch would remain in the family.”
Hope bloomed in Chaney’s heart. He’d just given her a way to disprove his theory. “Belle has always wanted children. I’m sure there would have been an heir through her marriage.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him nod his agreement. She’d won!
“I thought of that,” he said in the even tone that was starting to grate on her nerves. “But Belle was marrying Steve. I’m still not sure how that came about with your father’s hate for the Sampson family, but that’s beside the point. Then again, it is part of the reasoning. Your father wouldn’t want a Sampson for an heir. Add to that the fact that both Belle and Steve couldn’t care less about ranching and it throws your hope that I’m wrong out the window. All of this wouldn’t be so bad but for one factor.” He turned and looked at her. “You want to know what that is, Chaney?”
Chaney remained silent and stared straight ahead.
“You chose me.”
The air around them stilled. There wasn’t the slightest chirp from a far off bird, or buzz from an insect. For Chaney the entire world had braked to a full stop. Jed suddenly hopped off the fence and stood directly in front of her. He planted a hand beside each of her hips.
“Whether you chose me as revenge against your father, or against me, or both doesn’t matter anymore. Either way it proves how you truly feel about me.”
“Jed, I--”
“No,” he interrupted her. His voice had changed now and had an edge of pain to it. “I figured it out when I was thinking about Ashley the other day. Then I remembered you saying if you had known I was fighting for custody of a child it might have made a difference in marrying me.
“At first I hadn’t understood, but now . . . You believed I wouldn’t want the child. I would walk away without a thought.” His eyes burned into Chaney and she could take it no more.
“Fine, you want the truth? Yes, you’re right,” Chaney yelled. She wanted to jump off the fence and poke him in the chest to emphasize each point but he was standing too close. “It was part of my father’s will. I hadn’t planned on getting married, or having children, let alone choosing you for my husband. Being married to someone who abandoned me once was not a very attractive thought. Then, I realized the irony in it. My father would have done anything to keep me away from you if you had stayed around.
When you came back . . .
“At first, I’ll admit, I may have felt a slight twinge of revenge, but later, after getting to know you again . . .” Chaney’s throat was jamming with emotion making it hard to speak. The anger that had fueled her response to his accusations was evaporating. “Jed, I’m sorry. I--”
“Never mind,” Jed interrupted. “It’s clear you’ll never forgive me for the past, or your perception of it. Know this, Chaney McBride. I will not be shut out--”
“Jed, telephone,” Martha called from the house. “It’s someone about Ashley.”
“We’re not done,” he said.
Chaney watched him vault the fence and sprint for the house. His last words echoed in her head because she knew the truth. With his use of her maiden name, and the pain-filled anger in his eyes, the truth of the matter was they
were
done.
***
Jed’s eyes burned as he listened to the man on the other end of the phone line. It wasn’t tears causing the sensation; it was having the life sucked out of him every time he turned around. Chaney walked through the door at the same moment he hung up the phone.
“That was my lawyer. A hearing date for custody has been set.” Though he knew Chaney was his best hope for winning the custody battle for Ashley, he could not hold back the anger that spilled into his next words. “I w
ill not go through this again.”
Chaney’s only response was to shake her head. Jed prayed that meant she understood and not that she had some other kind of plan to keep him away from their child.
“I’ve got to go back to Dale’s, but I’ll be back for dinner,” he told Martha as he strode across the kitchen floor. When he reached Chaney, who still stood in front of the door Jed stopped. He placed a crooked finger under her chin and lifted her face until her eyes met his. “I mean it, Chaney. Don’t cross me on this.” Then, against all sane reason, he pressed a hard kiss to her lips before walking out the door.