A Dangerous Disguise (5 page)

"I am not offended," she said gently.

"And you will stay?"

She smiled.

"I have no choice, since you are still holding my hand so tightly"

He looked down at their clasped hands as though he had only just discovered them. For a long moment he did not move. He seemed possessed by the tension between them, as was she.

"If I release you," he said slowly, at last, "will you promise not to run away?"

She sighed, so softly that he could not hear.

"I promise."

Reluctantly he disengaged his hand from hers, and she felt an almost physical pain at the parting.

"What's happening to me," she thought wildly. "This is mad, dangerous. I should stop it now before it's too late."

But she knew that it was already too late.

It had always been too late.

"Now that I've agreed to stay," she said shakily, "you must go on telling me about your horses. They sound so – so fascinating."

She could not remember a single word he had said about his horses, but it seemed a safe subject.

"Yes," he said vaguely. "My horses. I have one in London, to ride in Rotten Row. Society goes to Hyde Park, and parades there, on foot or on horseback."

"Then I must go," she said.

"I believe you would enjoy it. Of course I left the rest of my horses in the country because, as you can imagine, I really have very little time to myself."

"Don't you like anything about London at all? Not even being at court?"

They had both calmed down now, managing to slip back into normal-sounding conversation, almost as though there was nothing else humming beneath.

"In some ways being at court is the worst of all. I'm constantly in the middle of – " he checked himself.

"Go on," she encouraged.

"If I do, I'll sound like a conceited coxcomb."

"I promise not to think so."

"Very well. I am in your hands. I'm constantly in the middle of the marriage mart. Have you any idea how difficult it is to own things that people want, and can only get by marrying you? They want your money and your title, and they will take you as well because that's the price, but you, yourself, as a person, are almost irrelevant to them."

He smiled at Ola. "But of course you know all this. It must be exactly the same for you."

"Ah yes!" she said with an air of wisdom. "Suitors. Such a trial."

"If a Duke is afflicted, a Princess must be a thousand times more so. How one longs to escape! In fact, is that the real reason you - ?"

"Ssh!" she stopped him with one finger over her lips. "Some things are best left unsaid."

"Of course. Forgive me."

"Tell me about your family," Ola enquired.

"I have two sisters who are married, both very happily, I'm glad to say. My father died five years ago when, of course, I took his place.

"Then my mother died two years ago. She was so unhappy after my father's death that she only wanted to join him in heaven. She couldn't face being alone on earth."

"How could she have felt alone when she had you?" Ola asked.

"I can't compensate her for the loss of the man she loved. A son isn't the same thing at all. I was fond of travelling, but I began to stay at home, to be with her when she needed me. But eventually she told me, very sweetly, to take myself off. She said she needed to be alone.

"I've always wondered whether that was true, or if she was just being kind to me. My mother was the kindest woman in the world. Anyway, I did a lot of travelling."

"Tell me about your travels," begged Ola.

"But I was going to ask about yours. They must be far more interesting."

"Oh no, one sees so little, nothing but receptions and formal occasions." She laughed. "I must know every ballroom in Europe."

"And are admired in every ballroom in Europe," said John, gallantly.

"You're too kind to say so. But after all, what is a ballroom? It's the country outside that matters, and which I never see. So I want to hear all you have to tell."

She listened, fascinated, as he talked about the places he had visited. She had never been anywhere but Scotland in her life, but this man had been all over Europe, France, Italy, Spain, and then further, to India and Egypt.

She listened entranced as he described the pyramids, the desert, the Nile. Her eyes shone as he talked about Venice and Rome.

This was what she had always wanted to know. The men she had met in the past had only talked about how they admired her, and what they felt for her. Since she did not admire them, and suspected that their real feelings were for her father's money, their conversation did not interest her.

"One day," she murmured, "I must see these things myself. I should love to go to Venice, and ride in a gondola along the Grand Canal."

"Perhaps you will travel on to Venice when you leave here?" John suggested.

"Oh no," she said, with a sigh. "That wouldn't be the same – "

"The same?" John echoed.

She had meant that Venice was a place to be visited with the person you love, and that being there alone was not the same, but she had spoken without thinking. Now she checked herself, realising that she could hardly say this aloud.

"I felt very strange being in Venice by myself," he said after a moment. "The Grand Canal looked beautiful from a gondola – but I was alone."

Now she knew that he had understood the things she could not say.

"And then?" she asked. "Afterwards?"

"I came home and my uncle, who is on the Queen's staff, told me that he'd found me a place at court, and I should accept it for the honour of the family.

"Well, I had pleased myself, so I realised that I should now think of the family. Of course what they really want is for me to marry and produce a heir to the title. But I haven't met anyone with whom I want to spend the rest of my life. So, much to their annoyance, I have remained unmarried.

"One day I shall return to Venice, and take that gondola again. But this time, I shan't be alone."

Ola knew a frisson of alarm. This adventure was taking her into uncharted waters.

But at the same time there was a thrill of excitement. The sensible thing would be to pull back now, but she could not be sensible. It was like being on a galloping horse, sailing over high, dangerous fences, not knowing what was going to happen next, whether it would be triumph or disaster, but she was exhilarated beyond belief.

"Go on telling me about your life," she said.

"Shouldn't you be telling me about yourself?" he asked.

Ola shook her head.

"No, my own life seems to me completely uninteresting."

This was true in a way that he could not imagine.

"But if I talk about myself," he said, "I must also talk about you, who have come into my life so unexpectedly, and fascinated me in a way that has never happened before." Ola laughed, a little shakily.

"Do you really expect me to believe that?"

"It happens to be the truth," he replied seriously. "and if you are surprised, then I am surprised too."

"Yes," Ola said after a moment. "I am surprised."

There was a sudden silence. They were both shaken.

Suddenly the Duke looked around him with a start. While they had been absorbed in each other, time had passed and now the restaurant was almost empty.

Ola raised her head, also startled. Where had the time gone while she was in the enchanting company of this man?

"I should have taken you somewhere where we could dance," he said. "But after your long journey you should go to bed early. Can we meet again tomorrow, and I'll show you some of the Jubilee celebrations?"

"Oh yes, I would like to do that," Ola said. "You are so kind, when you must be busy."

"I'm on duty much of the time," the Duke agreed. "But I consider it part of my duty to look after you, and not let you get into trouble."

"Do you think I'm likely to get into trouble?" she teased.

"Well, I must admit to another reason. I want to have you to myself."

Ola smiled.

"I was very lucky to meet you."

Then he said something she did not understand.

"I do hope so."

"Surely there can be no doubt of it? I know when I'm being lucky," said Ola.

She thought his manner became uneasy.

"Do any of us really know what is happening in our lives? Aren't there always unseen things that make a difference, although we don't know about them – and may never know about them."

Ola stared at him. "Why do you talk in mysteries?"

"Because they surround us all the time. Don't you ever feel that?"

"Yes," she sighed, thinking of how she was deceiving him. She was not what he believed, and there were mysteries surrounding her that he did not suspect.

"We must always be on our guard," he said, "but I'm sure you have someone in heaven looking after you,"

The way he said it made her smile a little shyly before she answered,

"I only hope that's true. But I said my prayers before I came here and I think in finding you, one of them has certainly been answered."

"Then I must make sure you continue to feel like that. There are a great many different things going on over the next few days – parties, processions and fireworks."

"Oh, I love fireworks. We have them sometimes on Oltenitza and how the people love them.

There was silence for a moment. Then the Duke said,

"We hear very strange stories about the Balkans and how the Russians menace you. Is that really true?"

"I am afraid it is," Ola replied. "Only one thing makes them pause, and that is where a country is protected by the Queen of England, through a strategic marriage."

"I hate to tell you this," said the Duke, "but we all know that sooner or later she will run out of royal brides."

An imp of mischief made her say,

"Perhaps they'll give me a royal prince. Her Majesty has several sons, and grandsons."

"Would you do that?" he asked. "Enter an arranged marriage for the sake of your country?"

He did not look at her as he said this, and something told her that the question saddened him.

"We must all do our duty," she said. "But it would be very hard to marry without love. In fact, it would almost make life meaningless."

"Totally meaningless," he said firmly.

"I think we all dream of finding the perfect person," Ola said softly, "Someone who will forgive our faults and go on loving us even though we're not perfect, someone who will understand the things we do that might seem strange and – " she broke off before she was tempted to say too much.

He was looking at her curiously.

"You almost seem to speak with a particular meaning," he said. "As though the words meant something special to you."

"No, not at all," Ola disclaimed quickly. "It's only that I've seen many marriages made for ambition – are there any other kind at court? – and they were so unhappy that I resolved to find something better."

"If they will allow you."

"Yes, if they will allow me."

"Shall I tell you something?" the Duke said. "When I listen to you I seem to hear my own heart speaking. This is exactly what I've always thought. True love means loving somebody at their worst as well as their best.

"When I marry – and I must do so one day – I want a woman with a great heart. But where am I to find that in the marriage mart, where I meet only simpering girls being pushed at me by their ambitious Mamas, who want my title?"

"It is equally sad for both of us," she said.

He seemed to give himself a little shake. "Yes, but enough of sadness. Tomorrow we shall simply enjoy being together, and I shall keep you to myself. I don't want to share you with other men, who will try to intrude because you're so beautiful."

Ola laughed.

"Perhaps it's just because I'm a Princess. "So if we meet anyone, just say I am a friend from overseas. You can call me Fraulein Schmidt."

"You are making it all very mysterious," the Duke replied, "but I see your point. Even so, I think I'll have to fight the other fellows to keep 'Fraulein Schmidt' to myself."

"Thank you, kind sir. And can we do all the exciting things that I'm not usually allowed to do, and which are usually the only things worth doing?"

"Anything you want, I promise. I shall send a message to your hotel tomorrow morning, to let you know the arrangements. That is – if it shall please Your Royal Highness."

"Whatever you arrange will please me," she said recklessly. "Oh, this is so much like a lovely dream, that I'm afraid I'll wake up."

"I won't let you," the Duke answered with a smile, "and that's a promise. And now I must take you home. It's much later than I thought. The dragon who protects you will be very angry with me. But I've enjoyed myself so much with you that I couldn't tear myself away. You are one of the most exciting women I've ever talked to. I never know what you are going to say next."

"That's because I've said very little," she laughed. "Men always think a woman is witty when she lets them do the talking."

He roared with laughter.

"Well done!" he said appreciatively. "That will teach me to be more cautious. But, of course, by saying that, you disprove your own argument by being genuinely witty. Now I'm really curious to know what else you will say." She looked at him mischievously.

"I think you'd be very surprised by some of the things I could say."

"Now, what do you mean by that?"

"Nothing," she backtracked hastily, regretting the moment of madness that made her admit anything so reckless.

"That isn't true. You meant something."

"Perhaps, but I don't think I'll tell you just now," she said, assuming an imperious voice to silence him.

As they drove back to the hotel she said,

"I shall lie awake tonight, thinking of the wonderful things I'm going to do."

"If I lie awake it will be because I'm thinking of you," he replied.

There was an expression in his eyes which made her feel a little tremor go through her, and she dared not look at him.

He took her hand and raised it to his lips.

"I thought I was an honourable man," he said, "but now I find that perhaps you are not as safe with me as you thought. Your Royal Highness – Ola - I want to kiss you. I want that very much."