a Coyote's in the House (2004) (9 page)

She hesitated. He nipped the back of her curly, crew-cut head, and she said, I can't.

Turn sideways. Go on, you got nothing to lose.

She did it, she turned.

A little more . . . There. Now look over your shoulder at the mirror and say, 'Girl, you are a cool chick.'

I can't.

Cock your hip a little bit. You know what I'm saying? You're cool and you know it . . . That's it. All right, now say the line.

I can't.

There's nothing to saying it. Look in the mirror and say it like being cool is no big deal.

You are a cool chick, Miss Betty said.

You sure? You don't sound it. And you forgot 'Girl.' Girl, you are a cool chick.

You're almost there. But now you have to slow it down. Know what I'm saying? Put some funk in it, drag it, like you're listening to hip-hop in your head and you're on the beat.

Miss Betty said, Girl? and paused. You are a coool chick, you know it? Yeah, I know it.

You got it nailed, Antwan said. Tell yourself that every four hours and call me in the morning.

Miss Betty's gaze followed him out the door, before returning to the mirror. he next day the group photo of Buddy, Lola and the hunters appeared on page three of the Los Angeles Times.

The headline said: LIFE IMITATES ART. And below that: Star of the Buddy Series Saves Champion Show Cat from Pack of Coyotes.

The dad read the entire story aloud, saying now and again, Listen to this, fella. Buddy listened and walked away with his head hanging. The dad said, What's the matter with our boy?

Antwan wondered the same thing. He said to Buddy, What's wrong with you, homes? Man, you're famous all over again. Have your picture in the paper Yeah, Buddy said, for something I didn't do.

The German dog was as glum as Miss Betty when she first looked at herself in the mirror. Antwan shook his head, trying to understand these dogs becoming depressed. They had everything handed to them. They didn't have a worry in the world. What was the problem?

Maybe, Antwan thought, they tried too hard to act like humans. Another way to look at it: their heads were so turned around they had trouble seeing they were dogs. he day after the picture was in the paper, Buddy's agent stopped by with his shiny brown dachshund, here to take a meeting with the mom and dad. The maid brought refreshments to them on the patio.

Antwan had never seen a Hollywood agent before, so he walked past to have a look at this short dude in the suit of clothes. The dude was busy talking, but stopped as he saw Antwan. The dad said, That's our new dog, Timmy. The dude said, Timmy? He looks a lot like a coyote. Has he ever been in pictures?

Antwan caught the Timmy part but didn't understand any of the rest of it. He saw Miss Betty watching from her window. Today she seemed to be doing better, less glum, but said she had no reason to come down. Antwan took that to mean she was still self-conscious about her new hairdo.

Now he strolled across the yard to join Buddy and the agent's shiny brown lowrider dachshund named Swifty. As Antwan came up to them Swifty said, You don't look like a Timmy to me. Bro, you look like some kind of wild thang.

And you look like about twenty pounds of baloney, Antwan said. How you doing?

Buddy said, That's enough. Let's go inside and have a treat. They passed through the dog door and now they were standing around in the kitchen, Swifty's long skinny nose raised, sniffing.

He said, I'll have a peanut butter cookie instead of the treat. I smell 'em close by.

Antwan said, But out of your reach, Shorty. Cookies aren't good for you, they give you the gas.

Swifty turned to Buddy. Where'd you get this mutt, off the street?

Be careful what you say to Timmy, Buddy said. You don't want to upset him.

I don't even know him, Swifty said. We came here to talk about you.

What's the deal?

A Harry Zimm picture.

Bringing back the Buddy series?

The hope in Buddy's eyes died as Swifty said, Bro, that was ages ago. This one is based on a science fiction book. Harry hasn't read it yet, but there's a dog in it and he thought of you right away.

Antwan said, When he saw Buddy's picture in the paper. You're not in this, Swifty said, this is between Buddy and I, and turned to him again. The only thing Harry's worried about is if you've put on weight.

I'm the same as I was on the Buddy pictures. What's this one about, a maniac with a chain saw or a mutation, a giant cockroach or something?

What difference does it make? Swifty said. There's a part in it for you.

How much?

Scale. Only what he has to pay.

Get another dog, Buddy said.

Come on, you know Harry Zimm, he's a tightwad, he's still got his bar mitzvah money.

I want what I got for the last Buddy picture.

You won't get it.

Wait a minute, Antwan said to Buddy. This guy is your agent?

Well, my agent's dog, but he acts like an agent, he tells me what's going on.

Antwan said, He works for you, homes. You don't work for him.

Buddy said, I know that.

The way it should be, Antwan said, he gets you what you want or you get another agent.

Swifty, trying to stand up to Antwan looking down at him, said, It doesn't work that way, especially not for dog parts. What you want to do, bro, is stay out of it.

Antwan put his nose down to the dog agent's nose and said, Tell me where you live, my brother. I'll come over and we'll talk about it.

Swifty looked at Buddy. He said, I don't need this. We get you the part and you don't take it, you'll never work in this town again, and went out through the dog door.

Antwan hopped up on the table, said to Buddy, Just one, and gobbled up a few peanut butter cookies, ground them in his jaw and swallowed. He turned around once and sat down on the table before saying, You let that little hot dog talk to you like that? I couldn't believe it.

He heard that somewhere, about my never working in this town again? Swifty wants to sound like he's in the movie business, so he picks up lines like that to use. But I'll tell you something, Buddy said. If ever a dog could work as a Hollywood agent I mean a real dog it would have to be Swifty. He's okay. You just have to get used to him.

I didn't like his smell, Antwan said.

He can't help that, Buddy said. Swifty gets his smell from where he gets everything else, from his owner. It's how my real agent smells, so it's how Swifty smells.

Antwan helped himself to another cookie as he thought of something. Is it true humans take on a different smell when they lie?

Yes, it's a fact, Buddy said. They lie and you get a whiff of something rotten. Like you get when you stick your nose in a garbage can. You might've noticed I kept sniffing while I was talking to Swifty. It's a sure way to tell when he's lying.

It wasn't a bad smell, Antwan said, but it hung in the air till he left.

There are things movie stars have to put up with, Buddy said. Like agents.

Antwan nodded, accepting Buddy's wisdom, and said, You think you'll do the movie?

I'll go listen to the mom and dad talking about it, Buddy said, and let you know.

An t w a n went u p to see how Miss Betty was doing. He caught her standing in front of the mirror looking over her shoulder.

Why there's a cool chick, Antwan said, if I ever saw one. I'm more than cool, Miss Betty said, still looking at herself in the mirror, I'm cold, not having any hair.

You have a nice creamy coat on you, Antwan said, curly around your shoulders. ... Girl, you're looking fine. I mean it. He said then, Buddy got a movie offer.

I know, Miss Betty said. I saw you and Buddy down there with Swifty. I bet he put on his act and you got tough with him, told him off.

I put on the muscle just a bit.

You have to understand Swifty, she said. If you don't take him seriously he's fun to watch.

Antwan said, How'd you know about the job?

When you all went inside, Miss Betty said, I slipped out on the roof, right down to the edge over the patio, and heard most of it. Buddy's agent made the offer and the dad didn't hesitate. Yes, indeed, Buddy will take the part. The mom said okay, meaning she went along.

Antwan, curious about the mom, said, What does she do? The maid's always here working around, doing most of the cooking. What does the mom do all day?

It beats me, Miss Betty said. I know she reads, she listens to music . . .

Antwan said, She remind you of anyone? He watched Miss Betty shake her head no and he said, She's just like you. She's a show mom.

You're trying to be cute now, Miss Betty said. Anyway, they're already shooting the picture. If Buddy's ready, he's on tomorrow. The dad goes, 'He's ready, don't worry about that.' Then the agent said, 'Oh, and why don't you bring Timmy along.'

Me?

You're Timmy, aren't you?

Why's he want me there?

That's a good question, Miss Betty said, turning to the mirror again. You like my hair this way, huh?

Chapter
Eleven.

Early the next morning the dad drove them to the studio in his silver Cadillac port-utility vehicle, Antwan and Buddy with teraces hanging out of opposite windows to catch the breeze. They had to wait at the main gate while the guard phoned to see if it was all right to let them in. He gave the dad a pass to put on the dashboard and directions to where they were shooting this morning, way out at the far end of the backlot.

They drove down a street between soundstages as big as airplane hangars. They passed the fronts of buildings that were seen in movies but weren't real. Like the spooky-looking house up on a hill that Buddy pointed to and said, You know what movie that house was in?

Psycho, Antwan said. It looks like a real house, but it's a lot smaller.

Because they only shot the outside of it, Buddy said, from a distance.

I know there isn't any inside to it, Antwan said. I've been up there.

You've been here before? This coyote kept surprising him.

I've been to most of the major studios.

How do you get in?

Under the fence or over it, Antwan said. There's nothing to getting in a movie studio. We'd go in at night, me and a couple of Diablos. Nose around, check the trash behind the commissary. It's where movie people have their lunch.

I know what a commissary is, Buddy said. Where I'm usually working, out on location, they bring the lunch to us.

We hang around a soundstage where they're shooting a scene, Antwan said, and wait to see if any movie stars come out. I saw Denzel Washington one time getting in his car. I saw Ethan Hawke. Another time I saw Reese Witherspoon. You know who I mean?

Reese Witherspoon? I know a dog was in one of her pictures, Buddy said. Where'd you see the movies they were in, at the drive-in?

Yeah, or looking in windows where TVs are on. There any big stars in this movie you're in?

I asked Swifty, Buddy said. He didn't know.

Or what your movie's about, Antwan said. I heard Swifty say what's the difference, long as you have a part in it. But don't you have to know what kind of dog you're playing?

What's there to know? I do rescues in the Buddy movies and show how smart I am in the other ones. Like my owner comes home, I walk over and push the button for his phone messages and he says 'Good boy,' or something he thinks is funny like 'I'm gonna get you a job, Bob.' I was Bob in that movie.

They came to house trailers and trucks as big as moving vans in the yard of an old farmhouse and a big red barn.

Those ones unloading equipment from the trucks, Buddy said, are the grips. They do all the heavy work. The ones setting up the lights are the gaffers.

Antwan looked up at the sunny sky and said, What do you need lights for?

To shine on the actors so you see them good, Buddy said. That group sitting around by the camera? One's the boss, the director, another one's the DP, the director of photography, and the rest of 'em are their helpers.

I guess it takes a lot of people, Antwan said, to make a movie.

More than you'd ever think, Buddy said. I can never figure out what they all do.

The dad drove the big silver Cadillac SUV into a field they were using as a parking lot and they all got out.

Antwan, seeing Buddy's agent and his dog coming over to meet them, said, Homes, you know what Swifty looks like? A fat little sausage with feet.

Buddy said, I'm surprised he isn't wearing his sunglasses today.

They watched the dad and Buddy's agent walk off toward the group by the camera.

We're ready to go, Swifty said to Buddy, soon as we get you made up.

As what? Antwan said.

He means get my hair brushed, Buddy said. Come on.

Swifty led the way to one of the trailers saying, Harry Zimm can't be here today but wanted us to remind you, don't wear your red bandana. He said be sure to have it taken off in makeup.