Authors: Marin Thomas
“Oh.”
Vic winced at the hurt in Tanya's voice.
Don't give up on me, babe
. “How's Alex?”
“Good. He's talking a lot more. His therapist said she thinks it would really help his social skills if he enrolled in a preschool program after Christmas.”
“Sounds like a plan.” And another reason he had to win next month. “Renee called a few days ago. I told her I hadn't changed my mind. I still intend to seek custody of Alex.”
“And...?”
“She's on my side and hopes the judge rules in my favor.”
“Vic...what happens if you don't win in Vegas?”
“I'm not going to lose, Tanya. I promise.” He had too much riding on the line. “I gotta go. I'll call Alex on Thanksgiving. Tell him I miss him.” He disconnected the call before he changed his mind and decided to spend the holiday at Red Rock.
The next time he saw Tanya, he wanted to be able to tell her that he loved her. That he wanted a future with her and Alex. That he wanted the three of them to be a family. And he couldn't do that until he had more to offer them than just himself.
* * *
“T
HIS
IS
A
SURPRISE
,” Riley Fitzgerald said as he descended the porch steps of his ranch house. He shook hands with Vic. “It's been almost a year since you showed your face around here.” He pointed to the house. “Maria's in town shopping.”
“I just spoke with her on the phone. She said the ranch hands had taken all the boys to a carnival.” Vic's gaze skipped over the buildings and the corrals where several horses grazed.
“Is that why you decided to stop here?” Riley asked. “Because Cruz is gone?”
Vic wouldn't lie to his mentor. “Yes.”
“For both your sakes you two need to talk.”
“We'll talk...eventually.”
“You've been saying that for years. When is it going to be the right time?”
“Next month.”
“Next month is in three days.”
Vic didn't need a reminder. “After the NFR.”
“This is your fourth time, isn't it?”
“Fourth and last.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Whether I win or lose I'm hanging up my spurs for good.”
“How'd you come to that decision?”
“I'm fighting for custody of my nephew.”
“Maria and Judge Hamel talk often, so I probably know more than I should. I'm sorry about your mother.”
Vic nodded. He didn't want discuss his mom's death or sister's move to Atlanta. “I need your help.”
“Anything.”
“Will you watch me ride and give me some pointers?”
“Vic, you're damn good at busting broncs. You don't need advice from me.”
“Everything's got to be perfect this time. There's no room for error.”
“C'mon on. We've got a bucker that I don't let the boys get on.”
Vic followed Riley across the yard.
“Cruz and I ride him once in a while when we get to thinking we're younger than we really are.”
“My right knee's been bothering me,” Vic confessed. He'd landed awkwardly in Ventura and had limped out of the arena, worried he was finished for the season. He'd driven to the nearest ER to have his knee checked, but nothing was torn. He'd strained the ligaments but the doc had claimed there were already signs of arthritis in the knee joint.
“Does spurring hurt?” Riley asked.
“A little.” Riley raised his eyebrow and Vic said. “More than a little, but not enough to keep me from riding.”
They entered the barn and went into the tack room. “You need to protect your knee before you ride.” Riley confiscated a roll of elastic bandage they kept on hand for the horses and wrapped Vic's knee tight enough to support the joint.
“Before I bring out Earthquake, let's use one of the horses we let the boys play cowboy on. You'll be able to try a few different techniques without getting thrown.”
“Sure.”
Riley led a horse from his stall. “This is Spitfire. He retired from the circuit ten years ago, but he's still got a little gas left in him.” Vic admired his mentor for buying former rodeo horses that hadn't been good enough to use for breeding. Not only teenagers, but old broncs got a second chance at the ranch.
“I have an idea that might take the pressure off your knee.” Riley backed Spitfire into the chute, then straddled the horse. “Does the inside or outside of your knee hurt when you mark out?”
“The inside.”
“Okay, slide down a little farther than you normally do in the saddle and shift your weight slightly to the left so you're not centered over the horse's neck.”
“That's risky if the bronc twists left coming out of the chute,” Vic said.
“It is, but I think you have the strength in your core to keep yourself upright. When you spur in this position, it should take some of the pressure off the knee joint.” Riley hopped off the horse. “Give it a try.”
Vic gave it more than a try. After three times on Spitfire, Vic rode Earthquake. An hour later he decided he'd had enough practice. Riley's suggestion had worked and with a few minor adjustments, Vic knew exactly how to keep his body in position. All that remained for him to do was show up at the NFR and ride.
“Thanks for your help,” Vic said.
“Maria and I are bringing the boys to Vegas to watch you,” Riley said.
“It'll be nice to have a few friends in the crowd.”
“You'll have more than a few friends. Most of the kids at the ranch are coming, too. We're chartering a bus.”
Even more pressure to win.
Riley grasped his arm. “Whether you win or lose, Vic, you've had a hell of a run.”
“Tell Maria I said hello.”
“Stick around. She should be back soon.”
“I better get on the road.” Vic didn't want to chance running into Cruz.
“On second thought, you probably should.” Riley smiled. “Maria's miffed that she had to find out from Judge Hamel that your nephew is staying with the Coldwaters up in Longmont.”
“It's a long story.”
Riley chuckled. “All three of you cowboys of the Rio Grande have long stories.”
“You hear much from Alonso?” Maria had told Vic that his friend had married and he and his wife had a baby girl in July.
“Alonso and Hannah are joining us in Vegas. Hannah's brother, Luke, has his sights set on rodeoing after high school. Alonso told him about you and Luke's looking forward to watching you ride.”
“Tanya's bringing Alex to Vegas so you and Maria will meet them there.”
“Does this Tanya McGee have anything to do with you wanting to raise your nephew?”
“Maybe.”
“Where did you two meet?”
“On the circuit. She's a barrel racer when she isn't training horses for her stepfather.”
“What are your plans after rodeo?”
“Find a place to settle down and look for work.”
“I can always use another mentor for the kids.” Riley opened his arms wide. “There's plenty of room for you to build a home on the property.”
Vic swallowed twice before he found his voice. “I appreciate all you and Maria have done for me through the years. Without your support...” He shook his head. “I'll give it some thought.”
Riley grasped Vic's shoulder and squeezed. “No matter what the future holds for you, Maria and I will always be your family. You can count on us to be there for you.”
Vic had been able to count on very few people in his life and Riley's words meant the world to him. If he could be half the man Riley was, Alex should consider himself lucky to have Vic as an uncle and a father. “See you in Vegas.”
Vic glanced in the rearview when he drove away. As Riley's figure grew smaller and smaller, Vic's determination grew stronger and stronger. No matter what happened in Vegas, he had a lot to look forward to the rest of his life and it was time to move on. He'd give it one last shot for Cruz and hope in the end that what he had to offer his friend was more than an apology.
Chapter Fourteen
“Mr. Vicario?”
Vic stopped twenty feet inside the entrance to the Thomas and Mack Center in Las Vegas, Nevada, late Saturday afternoon and searched for the feminine voice in the milling crowd of rodeo fans. A petite blonde appeared in front of him. She flashed a tentative smile.
“The saddle-bronc contestants have been signing autographs for the past hour. There's still time to join them if you'd like. The tables are located across from the west entrance on the ground level.”
“No, thanks.” He stepped past the young woman and headed for the cowboy ready area. He hadn't signed autographs once in all the years he'd competed, and he wasn't about to make an exception today. He didn't care to be in the limelight. The final day of competition wasn't about himâit had never been about him.
The final go-round had always been about Cruz and making amends.
He turned the corner, leaving the crowds behind and stopped at the sign-in table to pick up his number. Then as he'd done the previous nights, he disappeared into the shadows beneath the stands. He'd gotten good at hiding from the fans and media, and the out-of-the-way space suited him and his twisted nerves just fine.
He propped his back against the cement wall and closed his eyesâthe steak and potato he'd eaten three hours ago sat in his stomach like a brick.
He reached into his pocket, his fingers squeezing his cell phone. He'd spoken to Tanya and Alex a few hours earlier while he sat in his motel roomâa janky dive off the strip where no one would expect an NFR rodeo cowboy to stay. The sound of Alex's high-pitched voice saying, “I hope you win, Uncle Vic,” echoed through his mind. The therapist Tanya found had made great strides with Alex and he was talking all the time now, asking a million questions about rodeo, which Tanya said Mason was more than happy to answer.
Tanya and her folks were staying at a hotel on the strip and had been present every night he'd competed. He'd limited his contact with themâa quick meal after his win before returning to his roomâbecause each time he looked into Tanya's eyes he lost a little bit of his will to win. He wanted this over with so he could move on with his life. His whole world had been rodeo for so long that when Tanya and Alex had wiggled their way into his heart, they'd opened his eyes to the possibility of a future where he could be at peace with the past.
Tonight was the beginning of tomorrow and every day after with Tanya and Alex. No matter what happened in the arena, this was his final ride. He'd failed Cruz all those years ago, but Alex coming into Vic's life had given him a new purpose, and that was raising his nephew.
Tonight he was going up against Kenny Higgins. The twenty-one-year-old Irish kid had come out of nowhere this past July and had made a name for himself. His spirited personality matched his red hair and he'd become a crowd favorite. One of them would walk away with the championship buckle. Vic hoped it was him, but no matter the outcome he'd have no regrets when he took his last walk through the cowboy ready area.
Images flashed through his mind at warp speed; him, Cruz and Alonso running the streets of Albuquerque. Ducking behind Dumpsters to avoid the police patrolling their neighborhood. Cruz and Alonso waiting for him when he left the emergency room after he'd received fifty-seven stitches in his face.
Cruz grabbing the gun from his hand.
Cruz sitting in the back of the patrol car.
Cruz being sentenced to prison.
And Vic being sentenced to a rodeo career he'd never wanted. He recalled his first official rodeo where he'd broken his wrist after being tossed by a bronc named Ugly. The second rodeo, the third, the fifteenth...when he'd finally made it to the buzzer. Driving down a deserted stretch of highway to the next event. Sleeping in the backseat of his pickup. His first trophy. First check. First visit to the finals in Vegas...second...third. Tanya stranded on the side of the road in the rain. Her smile. The feel of her soft skin beneath his hands. Alex waving goodbye. Tanya's worried gaze staring after his pickup.
Vic felt it coming...the slow clenching of his intestines, his chest compressing, his mouth watering... He turned his head and puked. Not once but three times until there was nothing left in his gut.
“You better drink this.”
The back of Vic's hand froze against his mouth. His sour stomach forgotten, he straightened. A can of soda appeared in front of his eyes. With shaking fingers he accepted the drink. He swished the carbonated beverage around his mouth, then spat it out before chugging several swallows.
Then he turned and faced his past.
“You look like someone pulled you through a knothole backward.”
Vic hadn't seen or spoken to Cruz all week, but Tanya had mentioned that Cruz and Alonso and their families had arrived the night of his first ride. She'd asked if he'd wanted to visit with them, but he couldn't face any of them until he ridden his last bronc.
He studied Cruz's chiseled faceâsearching for the teenager he'd hung out with years ago, but there wasn't a hint of boy left in his face or body. His dark brown eyes were guarded. Cruz wasn't the same homey he'd run wild with in the barrio. Neither was Vic.
“You gonna say something or just stand there looking at me like I'm a ghost?” Cruz asked.
“Sorry.” The apology slipped from Vic's lips and he winced.
“We can start there. It's as good a place as any.”
“I should have listened to you that night and not met up with the Los Locos.” Vic dropped his gaze. “But I was determined to make things right for my sister.”
“Maria told me what happened to Camila. I'm sorry.”
“It was all for nothing. Camila took her own life and the baby inside her and you got sent to prison.” Vic poked himself in the chest. “It should have been me serving time, not you.”
“I think my sentence might have been easier than yours.”
“That's a stupid thing to say.”
Cruz spread his arms wide. “What the hell are you doing, man?”
“Isn't it obvious? I'm trying to win a buckle.”
“If I recall, you hated rodeo.” Cruz chuckled. “I remember when Riley talked you into getting on the back of Make Believe. Remember that ornery horse with one ear?”
Vic smiled at the memory.
“Damn, that horse had a mean kick. You flew right over its neck and landed on your face. Blood spewed from your nose and you cussed up a storm, swearing you'd rather get shot on the streets than bust another bronc.”
If Vic could go back in time, he'd sure in hell make different choices.
“You've dedicated your life to something you hate. Why?”
“Rodeo has grown on me.” There was some truth in the statement. Vic had developed a thirst for the adrenaline rush he experienced when he straddled a bronc, and he liked pitting himself against a wild horse, testing his skills. But he'd never lived or died by his next ride like most rodeo cowboys.
“You threw away a lot of years.”
“No more than you were forced to behind bars.” Vic struggled to keep his voice even. “I stole your future from you.”
Cruz's eyes widened. “You're not saying what I think you're saying, are you?”
“I've been trying to win you a buckle...the buckle you would have earned yourself if you'd had the chance.”
“Damn it, Vic.” Cruz whipped off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair. “You can't know that I would have won a championship if I'd had a rodeo career. Hell, who's to say I would even have stuck it out after the first year?”
“Don't patronize me.” Vic jabbed his finger in the air. “You wanted a buckle and you were gonna be good enough to win one. Riley said he'd never seen a guy with your natural talent. You had NFR champion written all over you, Cruz.”
“So you think if you win the buckle tonight, everything will be square between us?”
The blood drained from Vic's face. “I don't know. Will it?”
“If you're looking for forgiveness, Vic, just ask for it.”
That was too easy. “I thought a buckleâ”
“A buckle isn't going to make all those years in prison disappear. I'll be honest with you. I was angry for a long time after I went away.”
It took more courage to look Cruz in the eye than it ever had to ride a mean bronc.
“But I've made peace with the past.” Cruz's mouth drew down. “But I see now that I wasn't alone serving my sentence behind bars. You were right there with me every day.”
“I didn't know how else to make it up to you,” Vic said. “I don't have anything to give you.”
“What about your friendship?”
“How can you want to be friends with me after what happened to you?”
“Life works in weird ways. I met Sara and she helped me through some pretty dark times when I got out on parole.” He smiled. “There's nothing like the love of a good woman to show you what's really important in life.”
That was the truth.
“We'd both do well to let go of the past. Better memories are in front of us, not behind us.”
“I'm going to take your advice after tonight.”
“Good. Maybe now Maria will quit worrying about her three amigos.”
Vic chuckled. “I can't believe I've devoted my life to chasing a buckle that neither one of us gives a crap about.”
“That's a hell of a confidence booster before the final ride of your career.” Cruz grinned. Then his expression sobered. “I don't look back often anymore, but when I do, I see now that you had it a lot worse than me and Alonso. We all had crappy home lives, but you're the only one of us who had to carry his childhood scars on his face for the whole world to see.”
Vic rubbed the puckered flesh.
“I think we've both suffered enough.”
Vic couldn't agree more, but it wasn't easy to let go of the guilt.
“What about Alex?” Cruz asked.
“What about him?”
“Maria told me you're seeking custody of your nephew.”
“If I want to keep him I have to settle in one place and find permanent employment.”
“There's room for you and Alex at the boys' ranch.”
“Maybe.” Vic appreciated Cruz's blessing to live where he and his wife had put down roots, but Vic wasn't making any decisions until he knew where he stood with Tanya. If he didn't win, all Vic had to offer his friend was his humble apology.
“If it's your last go-around, then I hope you're riding for the right reason.”
“What do you mean?”
“I've already forgiven you, Vic. If you need to win today, then win for Alex so you can give him the life that you and I never had as kids. And win for
you
so you can finally forgive yourself.”
“How can I not win after that speech?”
“You better. Everyone, including Judge Hamel, is sitting in the stands watching.” Cruz tipped his hat. “Break a leg, dumb-ass.”
Vic grinned.
Dumb-ass
had been Cruz's favorite name to call someone when they were teenagers. They weren't teenagers anymore and if Cruz was willing to let bygones be bygones, Vic had to respect that. For twelve years he'd been torn up inside over what had happened to his friend, and it had only taken a five-minute conversation with Cruz for the burden of guilt to be lifted from his shoulders.
Vic closed his eyes and willed his body to relax. The culmination of years of hard work and dedication was eight seconds away. He left his hiding place and stood with the other cowboys near the chutes. Then he searched the stands for his fan club. He spotted Tanya firstâher auburn hair shining among a mass of muted colors. Alex sat next to her, listening to the Fitzgerald twins chatter in his ear. Farther down the row sat Tanya's parents with Riley and Maria. A pretty blonde with a brown-haired little girl in her lap sat next to Cruz, and at the end of the row Alonso held a pink-wrapped bundle against his shoulder, his wife and her teenage brother by his side. Vic's extended family. While he'd been chasing his demons to hell and back across the United States, the people who meant the most to him had shown up tonightâfor him. And not because they expected him to win a buckle.
Vic's path in life had led him to this momentâa rebirth. His final ride was an eight-second baptismâthe death and burial of his past and the birth of his future and new life.
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the final round of the saddle-bronc competition here at the Thomas and Mack Center in lucky Las Vegas!”
Vic willed Tanya to look his way. She must have heard his heart call out to her, because their gazes connected. She whispered in Alex's ear, and he looked Vic's way. Vic raised a hand, acknowledging that he saw them, then placed his palm against his heart. Tanya pressed her fingers to her mouth and blew him a kiss. No matter who came out the winner tonightâhim or the broncâVic wasn't leaving the arena until he proposed to Tanya. He didn't have a ring. He didn't have much of a plan. He just had his heart to give to her as a down payment on their life togetherâif she'd have him.
He turned away, needing to clear his head of her image and focus on the present. He buckled his spurs and pulled on his riding glove.
“This is do-or-die time for these cowboys, and we've seen some spectacular rides during this event. One cowboy in particular has blown up the score clock this week.” The crowd quieted as they listened to the announcer's spiel. “Victor Vicario from Albuquerque, New Mexico, is a rodeo veteran who's had a lot of success the past few years. This is his fourth appearance at the NFR.” Applause thundered through the crowd.
“Vicario has placed either first or second each time out of the gate this week. He and Kenny Higgins from Jackson Hole, Wyoming, are neck and neck in the race for the buckle tonight.
“Up first is Vicario. This cowboy will be strutting his stuff on Cyclone, a two-time world champion bronc from the Kyle J. Reed Ranch south of Tulsa, Oklahoma.” Images of the bronc flashed across the Jumbotron, and music blared through the loudspeakers. When the noise died down, the announcer finished his commentary. “Cyclone spins like a tornado. Let's see if Vicario has the stamina to go all the way on this bronc.”