A Cockney's Journey (6 page)

    I sat there in silence, thinking over what Rose had just told me. It was a lot to take in but even though I was not yet fifteen, I knew in my heart that she was somewhere near the truth.
    “Eddie, I will find out who this Terry is and what he wants from you, but not today. Tomorrow will be a good day to get in touch with him.”
    “Shall I come tomorrow, Rose?” I asked nervously.
    “No, it would be best if you were not present. Come and see me on Monday afternoon, Eddie,” Rose said, with a comforting smile.
    “OK, Rose, I’ll see you on Monday.”
    I left Rose’s and headed down Talford Road. Nearing the bottom, something hit me between my shoulders. I turned round rather sharpish and noticed a football bouncing up and down close by. It eventually ended up under a Ford Zodiac. I stood there, scanning the street, but there wasn’t anyone about. Nobody came along to claim the ball. It must have come over from one of the gardens, I reasoned. I waited a few minutes to see if anyone came looking for his or her ball. I lit a fag and waited a little longer, nothing happened, so I knelt down and looked under the car. I was shocked to find that the ball had vanished! I checked under all the parked cars and there was no trace of it anywhere. I looked up at the dark murky sky, registering the thought that I needed to hurry before it rained. Suddenly, the clouds opened up and it started bucketing it down. All traces of the ball in my mind vanished as I started to run towards where I lived. I hated the rain with a vengeance. Squish squash came the sound from my pumps as I approached the back gate. Bloody feet are soaked again, I muttered to myself. I opened the gate and entered the garden, running towards the back door. Once inside, I quickly removed my pumps. I was squeezing the water out of them when the bloody lino from inside the shoes fell out into the sink.
    “Look what Mum and Dad bought us,” I heard from behind me. I turned round to see them showing off their new pumps. My brothers and sisters had this horrible smirk on their faces.
    “Couldn’t get your size,” my mother shouted from the living room. “I’ll have to cut some more lino for yours,” she bellowed, like it was a major chore.
    I walked into the living room, sticking my pumps and socks in front of the open fire. “Can I put the telly on?” I asked.
    “No you can’t. Your father will be home soon.”
    I sat and watched the steam rise from my pumps; the fire was spitting loads of charcoal all over them. Then it hit me; Ann’s party was tonight and I had completely forgotten. How could I? I jumped up and ran upstairs to my bedroom. I had just started to rummage through my wardrobe to see what I could wear when I heard him pull up on his moped. I heard the key turn in the lock and then he was in. I stopped what I was doing and sat on the bed in silence, listening.
    “Where is he?” came a thunderous scream from downstairs.
    I was shaking and tried to wrack my brains for what I could have done wrong this time. But I couldn’t think of anything. I heard heavy footsteps bounding up the stairs. Suddenly the door flung open so fast that it nearly came off its hinges.
    “How many times have I told you not to put your bloody footwear in front of the fire?” With that, he threw my pumps straight into my face. The force of the impact knocked me off the bed and I clutched my face as I lay on the floor.
    “Get up,” he blasted. “Get up now, do you hear me, boy?”
    I slowly raised myself to my feet. My legs were shaking violently. I glanced in the wardrobe mirror and saw that my nose was bleeding; it had run under my chin and onto my shirt. I also had a small cut under my left eye.
    As he advanced towards me in silence, I put both my hands up and covered my face while cowering in the corner.
    “Put your hands down and take it like a man,” he shouted.
    I couldn’t move. I was petrified. I actually froze solid with fear and I started to pee myself. I tried so hard not to do it again, but I couldn’t stop myself.
    “You pathetic, dirty excuse for a man,” he yelled. “You’re no fucking son of mine.” He punched my head and his blow landed on my fingers. The pain shot into my wrist. “Just looking at you makes me physically sick. You disgust me.” He turned around and slammed the bedroom door shut.
    As I slowly regained my senses, the fear started to leave my body. My hand was throbbing and I couldn’t move my little finger.
I must get to the bathroom.
On opening my bedroom door I heard giggling and laughing on the landing outside. I pulled the door open quickly to see who was there. I heard footsteps running downstairs, followed by more giggling. I walked across the landing, down a short flight of stairs to the bathroom and locked myself in.
    While running a bath, I stood in front of the mirror cleaning the blood off my nose and face. The mirror’s grim reflection returned my questioning gaze; my face was miserable and wracked with hatred.
This can’t go on. They all hate me. The first opportunity I get, I’m out of here.
I didn’t know it at the time, but that day was not very far away. I climbed into the bath and lay there soaking as the smell of pee disappeared. Ever since I could remember, he’d hated me. Nan was right about what she told me. He only needed the slightest reason to thrash me. I remembered what he did to my hamster.
    When I think back to that horrible day it makes me feel sick. I used to let him out of the cage for some exercise in the kitchen. I was in the garden playing when I heard my mother and father arguing. He came out into the garden waving his vest.
    “Your bloody mouse has done a crap on your mother’s ironing,” he shouted. He went back inside and a few moments later he emerged, carrying my hamster cage. He walked into the middle of the garden and emptied the contents on the floor. Hammy legged it around the garden, while I stood there, shocked. What happened next was horrendous. Next door’s cat jumped off the wall and chased Hammy around the garden, digging his claws into him. I picked up stones and threw them at the cat, but the sod wouldn’t leave Hammy alone. After a while, Hammy stopped running and just lay there. The cat was moving his body from paw to paw but then, seconds later, the cat gave up and left Hammy alone. I walked over to my hamster, crying and in a state of shock. Hammy was covered in cuts, but he was still breathing.
    “He’s still alive!” I cried. “Someone help him, please,” I begged.
    My father walked over to us, swearing. He picked Hammy up by the tail and then, to my horror, he flushed him down the outside toilet.
    “That’s the fucking last pet you have. Do you understand, boy?” he snarled.
    I climbed out the bath and put a towel around me.
That’s better. I’ve cleaned him off me.
I brushed my teeth, dried myself down and went back to my bedroom; I sat on the bed reading my
Shoot!
Magazine. There were stories on Brazil, with a big write-up on why they were favourites for this year’s World Cup.
Fantastic team.
How can you lose with players like Pele, Jairzinho, Rivelino and Carlos Alberto in your team? Even World Cup winners England had no chance!!! As I turned to the next page, there was an article on my heroes Stan Bowles and Rodney Marsh. I had just started to read the article when there was a crack on my bedroom window. I jumped up and, peering through the pane, I saw Tony and Brian across the street. I pulled up the bottom sash and hung out the window.
    “We’re meeting in an hour, Ed,” Tony said.
    “OK, I’ll see you at the café,” I said in a low voice. I promptly shut the window and tucked my magazine under my mattress, out of sight.
What shall I wear?
Well, it was a toss up between my Levis and my cream ‘stay-pressed’. That’s all I possessed and I only had one decent shirt; my pink Ben Sherman. I bought those items of clothing with my earnings from doing bob-a-job work during the summer. I decided on my Levis and half-inch braces, with the Ben Sherman shirt. I got dressed and covered myself in Brut aftershave and then stood rooted to the spot as my face beamed like a red tomato. After a few seconds, the stinging abated. In my excitement, I had forgotten about the cut on my face, Man that brought tears to my eyes.
    
Right, soggy pumps or school shoes?
Either way, they both had lino in them, but at least my shoes were dry. I wished I had a pair of squires or brogues like all my mates had. I must get a Saturday job as soon as possible, I said to myself. Now all that remained to be done was to get out of the house, although this was easier said than done. I crept down the stairs to the front door. I could hear the noise of the telly coming up through the floor. They were all watching
Morecambe and Wise
. I opened the front door and closed it very gently, so as not to make a sound. I was walking down the stairs to the street when the curtain was drawn back.
Bloody hell. He’s like a security guard.
    “Where you going?” he shouted, tapping the window. I pointed across the street. “I’m just going to see Brian, OK, Dad?” I cringed when I said that word ‘dad’!
    “I want you in by ten,” he shouted. “If you’re five minutes late, I’ll string you up.”
    “Yeah, alright,” I said half-heartedly. I strolled in the direction of Brian’s house and, as soon I was out of sight, I doubled back and headed towards the café. As I got halfway, I turned round and looked down Lyndhurst Way.
He’s not there. Great!
As I carried on walking, my feet were starting to get damp. Even though it had stopped raining, the floor was still wet. The surface rain was seeping through the lino into the soles of my shoes. I approached the café, and could just make out a few figures standing about outside. When I got closer I realised it was Tony, Brian, Karen and Lyn.
    “The café’s shut,” Tony yelled to me, pointing at the sign on the door.
    “Alright, Karen?” I smiled, as I reached the group.
    “Yeah, fine thanks, Ed,” she replied.
    “Anyone got two pence on them so I can phone Anne?” Karen asked.
    I put my hand in my pocket and handed Karen four pence.
    “Cheers, Ed. I’ll just go and give her a bell.” She crossed the street and entered the phone box.
    “How’s your day been, Eddie?” asked Lyn.
    
You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you.
    “OK. Nothing interesting though, bit boring as it happens,” I lied.
    Karen emerged from the phone box. “Party’s off, guys,” she sighed. “Ann’s mum is unwell and she’s not going to the theatre tonight. She’s meeting us in the Wimpy in twenty minutes. Is that OK?”
    “Yeah,” Tony said. “That’s cool.”
    “I fancy Wimpy and chips,” Brian beamed.
    “Sounds good to me,” I said, with a broad grin on my mush.
    As we walked down Rye Lane, towards the Wimpy, I noticed this figure standing under the railway bridge on the other side of the street, lurking in the shadows.
Oh God. It’s him.
He just stood there, like a statue, staring at me, I felt an icy chill go right through me and I started to shiver.
    “Tony?” I asked nervously. “Do you know that geezer standing under the bridge over there?”
    “Oh, very funny, Eddie,” he chuckled.
    “What’s so funny?” I asked.
    “Leave it out, Ed. There’s nobody there!”
    My heart sank. I could see him but no one else could. I rubbed my eyes and looked again. He was gone. As we entered the Wimpy, Ann was already sitting down drinking coffee.
    “Hi guys,” she shrieked. Leaning over the table, she put her arms around my neck and gave me a big kiss on the cheek.
Oh man, that felt beautiful.
We all sat down and ordered coffee with our Wimpy and chips. Well, except for me. I just had coffee.
    “Not eating, Ed?” they asked.
    “No. Not hungry as it happens,” I muttered.
    
No money was more like it.
Bloody starving, I was. I’d had no dinner due to that bloke giving me a beating over a pair of wet pumps.
    We sat in the Wimpy, chatting away, laughing and giggling, telling each other jokes. I was so happy and thrilled to be with my friends. All my troubles just vanished to the back of my mind and were temporarily buried.
    “How did you cut your eye? Looks a bit sore, Eddie” Ann asked, all concerned, as she leant over and gently kissed me below my left eye.
That’s the second time Ann has kissed me tonight. Keep it up girl.
    “Oh, I got hit in the face by a branch when I was gardening at Rose’s.” I hated lying to Ann, but I couldn’t tell her the truth about my family life. All of them had great parents; kind, caring and loving. I didn’t want to be the odd one out. If the truth was known, I was really jealous!
    “What time is it, Tony?” asked Karen.
    He looked at his watch. “Half nine,” came his reply.
    “I’ve got to be in at ten, guys.”
    “So have I,” Ann said.
    “Yeah, and me,” Lyn sighed.
    After a short debate between the lads and me, we decided to call it a night, much to my relief. We all got up and headed towards the exit. Outside, I asked Ann if she would like me to walk her home. She smiled.
    “That would be nice, Ed,” she said.
    We all said our farewells and walked in the opposite directions. I had half an hour to walk Ann home and get in myself. It was going to be tight but I should just about do it. The two of us strolled down Rye Lane and crossed into Park Road. As we walked past the back entrance to Rye Lane market, Ann linked arms with me. We walked down Park Road, arm in arm in a comfortable silence. I felt ten feet tall and so proud; my heart was pounding and the feeling I had in my stomach was something I had never ever experienced before. A bead of sweat ran down my temple.
What’s happening to me?
My mouth was dry and I started to tremble with excitement.
    “Nearly there,” Ann said. She stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face me; her eyes sparkling in the moonlight. She broke the link and put her arms around my neck. Then it happened; my first kiss was seconds away. Ann gently tilted her head and kissed me. I responded passionately and we stood embraced for what seemed like an eternity. She put her tongue into my mouth. Her kisses sent a chill down my spine and absolutely bloody blew me away.
This is heaven.
She pulled away gently and gave me a peck on my cheek.
    “You smell gorgeous, Eddie,” she whispered. I took a deep breath before responding.
    “And so do you, Ann,” I said, feeling light-headed.
    “See you later, Ed. I must go now. I promised I wouldn’t be late.” She blew me a kiss and turned to run to her house. I stood there, shell-shocked, and watched her disappear into her front garden. My mind was buzzing and I had a grin as big as a Cheshire cat on my mush.