A Circle of Time (5 page)

“Well, sure we have, it's just that—Well, you've never seen me...?”

“Seen you what?” Joshua looked into Allison's eyes, and she turned away, blushing. “No, of course not! It ain't proper. I wasn't suggesting we walk around neck-ed. Look!”

Joshua ran to the waterfall and vanished behind it. A few seconds later, he returned carrying two rolled-up blankets.

“Blankets! Wow, where'd you—?” Allison stopped before she made yet another blunder. “I mean, this is great. We can get undressed and wrap up in blankets.”

“And eat.” Joshua drew a knife from his pocket. “Go into the trees and get undressed while I gut the fish. I'll get them roasting.”

By the time Allison returned, wearing the blanket like a sarong wrapped under her armpits and carrying her wet clothes, Joshua had already spread out his clothes to dry. His blanket was wrapped around his waist like a skirt, and he was kneeling in front of the fire, hanging the gutted fish on thin green branches above the flames. He had propped open the sides of the fish with short sticks.

Feeling self-conscious again, Allison tiptoed to the fire and spread out the calico dress, bloomers, and camisole on soft pine needles. When she was done, she knelt in front of Joshua.

“Anything I can do?”

“No, I'm just about done,” he said, hanging the fourth fish on a branch above the fire and poking the other end of the stick into the ground. “Just settle in. The fish don't take but a few—” Joshua looked up and his eyes opened wide. He stared at Allison's bruised shoulder and arm. “Becky Lee, what on Earth?”

He was at her side in an instant. “It was
her,
wasn't it?” Joshua examined the bruised arm. His touch was butterfly soft. When he looked back up, his eyes had lost their laughter.

“Wasn't it?” he insisted.

Allison shrugged her good shoulder. “I'm not sure ... I guess so.”

“What do you mean, you're not sure? You couldn't have slept through a beating like this.”

“I just don't know.” Allison turned away. How could she explain?

Joshua's eyes narrowed. “You been having any more of them spells you was telling me about?”

“Spells?”

“You don't have to be afraid to tell me, Becky. Anyway, I know it was your mama. It's always your mama.” Joshua continued to stare at her arm as if the mere act of looking could mend it. “Can you lift it?”

Allison lifted the arm and winced. “But it's not as bad as it was this morning. I doubt it's sprained. Just bruised.”

“I swear, Becky Lee”—Joshua's voice quivered—“if Sadie Thompson hurts you once more, I'll kill her. I swear I will.”

Allison shivered. “Don't say that! Anyway, she'll never have another chance to touch me.”

“Now what are you talking about? Why won't she?”

“Because”—Allison turned and looked into Joshua's eyes—“I'm never going back there, that's why.”

Allison leaned against a boulder and licked her greasy fingers. “That had to be the best fish I've ever eaten.”

Joshua chuckled. “You always say that.”

“Oh ... I guess I would—I mean do—I guess I do.”

Joshua gave her a strange look and shook his head. “You were late again, today. Didn't think you'd make it.”

“You were waiting for me?”
So I did do what Becky was supposed to do.

“We always meet here Tuesday afternoons.”

“Oh, sure—of course, we do.”

Joshua gave her that look again. “All right, Becky Lee. Something mighty peculiar's going on.”

What am I going to do now? Can I trust him? No, he'll think I'm crazy, and he's my only friend. I've got to fake it.

“There is? I don't know what you mean.”

“The way you're acting, the things you say. Why, even the way you talk is strange. If I didn't know you so well, I'd believe you was a completely different person.”

Allison turned her back to him and busied herself with shifting their clothes around to get them dry. “Well, that's just plain silly,” she said, trying to imitate Joshua's manner of speech.

“I'd think it was, too, if I hadn't been watching you for the last couple of hours.”

“Tell me what you mean, Joshua.” Allison tried to sound interested but not too interested. She leaned against the boulder.

“It's—it's everything. The way you walk, the way you hold your head. The fire in your eyes. I've never seen you so ... so...”

“So what? Tell me, please.”

“So bold, so spunky, so sure of yourself.”

“I'm the same old Becky Lee. See—my calico dress, my braids, my bruised arm. I'm all here.”

Joshua shook his head. “I know, I know. It don't make sense. But
something
's different. The Becky Lee Thompson I've always known would never wander up the creek with her bloomers showing. She's shy, soft-spoken, keeps her eyes and head down like a whipped puppy. Sometimes her eyes hold such pain, it 'bout breaks my heart to look in them. When she laughs, she puts her hands in front of her face as if it was a crime to be happy—why, she's never whooped it up the way you and I did earlier in the creek. And”—he lowered his voice to a whisper—“she needs to be taken care of.”

Joshua turned her toward him and took Allison's face in his hands, gently lifting her chin. “The girl I see today is like a wild mare who'll never really be tamed. She's a spitfire. She's everything I want Becky to be. That's why I was laughing over there in the creek—I was so happy. I saw fight in those eyes. It's not that I don't love her the way she is, it's just that she needs to be a fighter to survive. And I want her—need her—to survive. If she doesn't stand up to Sadie Thompson, I'm afraid the woman will kill her—you. See what you've got me doing? I'm acting like you're a whole other person.”

Allison slowly released the breath she'd been holding since Joshua touched her face. She'd never been this close to a boy. She had no time to waste on boys. As far as she could see, boys in the nineties only wanted one thing. And she wasn't ready or willing to deal with the pressure of having to fight them off or give in and “put out.” It was easier to ignore their existence and concentrate on schoolwork.

But Joshua wasn't like anyone she'd ever met, boy or girl. She felt comfortable with him—even in a blanket sarong. She knew she could trust him not to try to make a move on her the moment she let down her guard. And there was something else. His sincerity and sweetness touched her heart—no, her soul. She felt as though she
bad
known him forever. That they had met before, in another lifetime. Was it possible? Could they be soul mates?

“Becky?” Joshua searched Allison's face. “You all right?”

“Mmm, yes. I'm okay—uh, all right.”

“It wasn't another spell, was it? You were staring at me.

“Spell? Do I do that often? Have a spell, I mean.”

“Don't you remember?”

Allison leaned back and shook her head. She could honestly say she didn't remember.

“I've been with you a few times when you just go into a trance or something. You stare straight ahead for a few minutes, then you come out of it and can't remember anything about it. You told me sometimes you lose hours and don't get your sewing done. You find yourself wandering somewhere and have no idea how you got there. That's when your ma loses her temper.”

Blackouts! I've heard of people having blackouts. Maybe Becky's got a brain disorder or maybe it's a psychological thing. With a mother like Sadie, who wouldn't have blackouts?

“Don't you remember, Becky?”

I hate lying to him. Anyway, I can't fake it much longer, Joshua's too bright. He's almost figured it out already. Almost. But will he believe me? I have to trust him—I need someone to confide in if I'm going to survive.

“Joshua, I have to tell you—” Allison gasped and jumped up. “Something grabbed my hair!”

She turned to look at what it might have been. From behind the boulder poked a black nose. Slowly a dark gray head emerged, revealing a black mask and two shiny black eyes. Two delicate black claws came up to the eyes and covered them.

Joshua roared with laughter. “Well, one thing sure hasn't changed,” he managed between chortles. “You're still skittish about animals.”

“Stop it! Stop laughing at me.” Allison punched Joshua's shoulder, but it only made him laugh harder. “I am
not
skittish about animals. I just didn't expect a raccoon to walk right up and—” Allison caught Joshua's laughter and couldn't finish.

In the meantime, the little raccoon scuttled around the boulder and plopped down next to Joshua, raising his front claws in begging position.

“Oh, my gosh,” cried Allison with delight. “Is he tame?”

“Of course, he's tame. This is Bubba.” Joshua rubbed Bubba's ears. “He just wants a handout, don't you, boy? Grab the fish heads, Becky. There's still some meat on those.”

Allison handed a fish head to the little raccoon. He took it in his tiny claws, dragged it to the water in his mouth, and washed it in a busy, fastidious manner before beginning to nibble it.

“He's so cute! I love raccoons.”

“Since when?” Joshua said in a tone that implied that he thought Becky was afraid of anything that moved.

“Uh,” Allison began, trying to think quickly, “since now. Who can resist that face? How'd you ever tame him?” she asked, deliberately changing the subject from her back to Bubba.

“I found his mama lying dead in the woods a ways down, and next to her, 'most starved to death, was this tiny baby coon. Never told you 'bout him 'cuz of the way you felt 'bout animals. But I nursed him back to life, with Magda's help, and, hey”—Joshua leaped up and started gathering their clothes—“I almost forgot about Magda! Hurry up, Becky. Let's get dressed. The clothes are dry. We can take Bubba home and get your arm looked at, all at the same time.”

“Magda?” Allison took the clothes Joshua handed her.

“Sure, she can use some of her special liniment on your arm. And it's been ages since she's seen you. We never seem
to
have much time to do things anymore. Ever since your ma started making you sew most every day and night. So hurry up and get dressed.”

Allison took shelter under the trees and changed. The light cotton camisole and bloomers were dry, but the calico dress was still damp.

When Allison returned, Joshua was dressed and had already doused the fire. As Allison handed him his blanket, she remembered something.
How does he store the blankets behind the waterfall?
she wondered. She was tempted to ask but was afraid it would raise more questions about her identity. Although she wanted to tell Joshua who she really was, she wanted to meet this Magda first.

Joshua took the blankets and headed for the waterfall. She ran after him. “May I come?”

“Sure. I know how you like sitting behind the waterfall. We don't have a lot of time, though.”

Allison gasped. She loved sitting behind waterfalls, but it took her a moment to figure out how he knew that. She had forgotten that Joshua thought he was talking to Becky.

“I won't take long, I promise. I love watching the world through a shivering sheet of water. And the sound of the falls crashing around me, it's—I don't know...”

Joshua grinned. “I know what you mean. That's why I come here so much.”

He led Allison to a natural path that ran along the craggy rock formation and behind the stream of falling water. Hidden by the waterfall was a small cave.

So that was it. Joshua had a secret hideaway, stocked with candles, blankets, food. He could live like a hermit here ... for all Allison knew, he did.

Allison turned to face the waterfall. Delighted, she thrust her hands into the cascade of water. “It's like a tiny paradise, with the fishing hole and the waterfall. I could stay here forever.”

The moment she heard her own words, Allison bit her lip. The words sent a shiver down her spine. She jerked her hands from the cascade and rubbed them along her arms. She couldn't believe what she'd said. What if the Powers That Be heard her? She was terrified that that was exactly what might happen. Much as she enjoyed this place and being with Joshua, she had to go home.

“Becky?”

“Mmm?” Allison turned. Joshua had tucked the blankets in the cave and was waiting for her. She smiled. “I'm ready.”

Joshua led the way past the waterfall, along the rock path, and into the woods. Suddenly, he stopped. “Where's Bubba? Bubba! C'mon, boy.”

The bushes behind them rustled, and a round, gray body waving a striped gray-and-white tail toppled onto the path, sat up, and scrambled off, leading the way through the trees.

Laughing, Joshua grabbed Allison's hand and pulled her after him, trying to keep up with the little raccoon. Finally, Bubba vanished under a clump of ferns, and Joshua slowed down.

“He's gone again,” Allison said.

Joshua shrugged. “He'll be back when he's ready. He knows we're going to Magda's.”

Although they'd stopped running, Joshua continued to hold Allison's hand. Their hands fitted perfectly, interlocking like two matching pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. It felt nice, right. His hand was warm, and the warmth seemed to seep through her skin and into her bloodstream, straight to her heart. Would she ever be able to experience this again? If she woke from her coma, would she ever share a deep, comfortable silence like this while holding hands with a boy? Just walking in the forest—enjoying the trees; the moist, earthy smells; the cool breeze—with no need to speak, because sharing the silence was more powerful than anything they could say.

“Becky,” Joshua said in a whisper so soft it barely broke the silence, “look.”