A Christmas Promise (7 page)

Suddenly feeling like an outsider, Drew decided he couldn’t interrupt the rapturous greetings; he decided he would wait for a quieter time. But he knew he would have to see Tilly soon. Tell her straight that he hadn’t deserted her. Otherwise, it might be too late.

Resting now on the walking stick commissioned by his father and carved by craftsmen from the finest wood, he recalled the time in number 13 when he told Tilly that she would never lose him; that his heart was hers for ever, and he meant it. He knew she had the courage of a lion giving her love to him, a stranger from another land, trusting him, believing in him and making him feel like the king of the world.

Tears blurred his vision as Drew relived the time when they took their only holiday together, arranged by the vicar’s wife, Mrs Windle, who had written to the landlady in the guesthouse in the picturesque village of Astleigh Magna on the River Otter. He had planned the whole route, drawing diagrams that Tilly had been so enthusiastic about, thinking him so clever and organised and manly.

Then, when they finally settled into the guesthouse – in separate rooms – he could hardly sleep for thinking about her lying in the next room. He had wanted so much to be with her, wrapping her securely in his arms all night. But he had promised her mom that he would be a gentleman – and he had been. Drew groaned aloud now. He loved Tilly too much to compromise their future happiness with an unplanned pregnancy – or disapproval from her mother.

But it was Tilly who gave him the strength to be the man he wanted to be, the decent human being his father hadn’t recognised before and whom he thought he could bribe to stay in Chicago and do his bidding, while Tilly, with her love and her faith in him, as well as her lack of concern for his wealth and status, allowed him to be himself – his true self – for the first time in his life.

And then, when he was back home, after receiving news that his mother was desperately ill, and had subsequently died, his father thought he could rule Drew in the same way he had ruled his mother. But he couldn’t. He thought he could buy Drew with big cars and plenty of money, when all Drew ever wanted to do was to be back in the arms of the girl he loved.

Then his world collapsed when he was hit by an on-coming wagon, which almost killed him. His father had him in a top-notch hospital, being waited on hand and foot for months. Not that he knew anything about it, Drew thought now; he had been in and out of consciousness for months, his life in the balance.

Drew was glad his father hadn’t written to Tilly to tell her of his accident, even glad, when he was well enough to understand. He wouldn’t have wanted his darling girl to see him lying helpless in a hospital bed, unable to do anything for himself. He couldn’t bear the thought of her seeing him like that. But now, he thought, as pain clawed at his heart, he wasn’t so sure.

Drew recalled how, on their little holiday, after visiting the village church in the dead of night while the village slept and the moon was high, they crossed the river. Her gaze met his as he held her hand and gently pulled her to the unlocked door. Inside the ancient building, which smelled of dust and neglect, a moonbeam shone through the stained-glass window, casting soft colourful shadows over the worn pews and rested on the ancient stone floor.

He had picked up a dust-covered Bible from the pile near the door and guided his sweetheart over the smooth stone flags to the bare altar where, taking her left hand, and without any need for explanation, they had exchanged solemn vows and promised to love each other for all of their days …

That was when he removed the gold Harvard ring from the chain around her neck, which he had given her earlier, and put it on the third finger of her left hand, and then after sealing their vows with a chaste, respectful kiss, he promised that nothing could part them. He told her that he loved her and he always would. And he meant every word. And Tilly had said the same.

She had begged him to love her in the way a married couple loved each other, she told him she wanted to show him how much she adored him by giving him the most precious gift a woman could give – and he had refused! Damned fool that he was.

If he and Tilly had consummated their love that night everything could have been so different now. But if he was honest he wouldn’t have wanted to consummate their love in a way that would be tinged with worry. He wanted Tilly to be his totally, without fear or remorse, and for that he had been prepared to wait.

Drew let out a small despairing laugh now as he watched Tilly – darling, darling, girl – who was even more beautiful as the autumnal sunshine lightened the shiny rich darkness of her curls, partly hidden under her ATS cap. Her uniform made her look taller, shapelier, more adult than he remembered, and the picture he had of her in his wallet did not do justice to this heavenly woman. And she was a woman now, not the girl he left behind, but a living, breathing, beautiful woman.

His heart was heavy with hurt and regret, and he realised for the first time that he had totally messed up and should never have left her alone for so long. He should have gotten word to her somehow. Because looking at her now, so near – yet so distant – it looked like he had blown any chance of making her his girl.

‘Look, if it’s all the same to you, Tilly, I’ll pop around and see Dulcie, before she turns in for the night.’

‘Of course,’ Tilly said, giving Rick a small peck on the cheek. He was so sweet, meeting her at the station like that and then arranging tea at the Lyons Corner House in the Strand. He was a great man and he’d been through so much. But now he was on the mend and back in the army. Tilly was so pleased for him.

Olive and the girls had been talking nonstop for hours, trying to insert every moment of the last few months into the precious little time they had together, each talking over the other but all of them taking in what was being said, and all expressing concern about Callum after Sally had informed them that Dr Parsley had given him three-hourly injections of a new drug that had been used only for the troops up to now.

‘We’ve had women begging us to give it to their loved ones,’ Sally said sadly, ‘but there just isn’t enough to go around at the moment, and the fighting men are the priority.’

‘Well, let’s just hope and pray that there is enough to pull Callum through this awful predicament,’ Olive said, just as there was a knock at the front door.

‘Oh, no,’ Sally cried, ‘what if it’s somebody from the hospital to tell me …?’ But she didn’t finish her fearful assumption as Olive rose from the table and hurried to the door. Even though there had been hardly any night raids of late, she still turned off the hall light before she opened the door.

‘I just thought I’d call to see if everything was OK with you, Olive?’ Archie said, his majestic frame almost blocking the full moonlight. ‘I was worried about you and I know I won’t be able to sleep until I am sure that you are safe and well …’

Olive could not see the expression on his face as he had his back turned to the moon’s beam, but she could hear the gentle concern in his voice and she felt the shiver of delight course through her body.

‘Tilly’s home,’ Olive breathed, and in those two words she told him that they wouldn’t finish the day together as was their routine of late.

‘I’m glad for you.’ There was a smile in his voice he added quietly, ‘Even though it means I will have to forgo my nightly cup of cocoa …’

‘Oh, Archie, do come in and see Tilly, she will be thrilled.’ Suddenly, Olive didn’t want him going home to a cold and empty house.

‘You won’t want me interrupting all that womanly chatter …’

‘She would love to see you, Archie.’
I would love you here with me …

The last part remained unsaid, and there was more than a hint of disappointment in Olive’s heart when Archie said, ‘If you don’t mind, Olive, I’ll bid you good night. It’s been a long day. Tell Tilly, I’ll want a full report tomorrow morning before her guests arrive.’

‘Are you sure, Archie?’ Olive felt as if she had betrayed him in some way; as if she was turning him away in favour of her daughter, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

‘You get some rest, Olive, you have a busy day tomorrow.’ His voice was intimate, tender, and as he reached into the dark hallway, he momentarily caught a stray curl of her loosened hair and gently held it in his fingers. Then, letting it go, he caught hold of the door and as he drew it towards him.

‘I will, Archie … And you …’ Olive said.

‘Good night, Olive …’ Archie said as he closed the front door. ‘Don’t forget the bolt.’

‘I won’t, Archie …’ Olive said in a low whisper. ‘Good night …’ She knew there would be comments from the girls when she went back inside but she didn’t mind. She didn’t mind at all.

‘Oh, Mum, it’s beautiful! I love it,’ Tilly said as she opened the leather box the next morning, and as her fingers delicately lifted the sapphire pendant, Olive breathed a sigh of relief.

‘I thought it was just perfect for you.’ Olive recognised delight in her daughter’s eyes now. But it hadn’t been so earlier. Then, there was no mistaking the hooded disappointment when Tilly went to collect her birthday cards from the hall table, quickly scouring the envelopes for the familiar scrawl that belonged only to Drew. Her daughter’s low frustrated groan did not go unnoticed as Olive carried their morning tea into the front room, and, for the millionth time, Olive was on the verge of telling Tilly that Drew hadn’t deserted her when he went back to America. But she couldn’t. She just could not bring herself to say the words.

‘I will wear it always,’ Tilly said, gazing at her reflection in the mirror above the three-legged table in the hall as she held the pendant to her neck.

‘I thought it matched the colour of your eyes,’ Olive smiled, glad she was able to make Tilly happy again.

Then, Tilly turned to her and said, ‘If that was the case you should see them after being on duty all night – you would have bought me a ruby pendant then.’ The other girls were in the front room now and they joined in the laughter around the breakfast table. ‘And after all the talking that Agnes and I did last night  … ’

‘Oh, I don’t mind losing some sleep.’ Agnes patted Tilly’s hand. ‘We had a real old catch-up and it was lovely.’

‘It certainly was,’ said Tilly, knowing Agnes, the quietest of the Article Row clan, was coming out of her shell now. She had been through enough in her life and Tilly knew Agnes was going to tell her mum that she was moving on to the farm in a couple of days. Thank goodness she wouldn’t be here, Tilly thought, eating her lightly buttered toast and knowing neither of them could stand ‘goodbyes’.

‘Take off your dog tags. It might get tangled …’ Sally said in her down-to-earth way.

‘I can’t take them off,’ Tilly said, and silently thought,
or Drew’s ring,
as her hand automatically sought the gold Harvard ring, which had substituted the engagement ring Drew had promised to buy her on his return to England. Momentarily her joy was replaced with a dark cloud of anguish for the love she was destined never to enjoy.

‘Mum, will you put it on for me?’ Tilly compelled herself to suppress the deep feelings of loss that were never too far away. She must put on a happy face today for her mother’s sake.

‘Oh, darling, it suits you so well – it’s as if it had been made just for you,’ Olive cried, still surprised that Audrey took only a pound for the pendant; she would have paid far more if she’d bought it in town, she was sure. ‘Now let me look at you properly.’ Olive took Tilly’s hands and then said, with a small shake of her head, ‘You’ve lost weight. You need some good home cooking inside you!’

‘Mum, that is your answer to all ills,’ Tilly laughed. Her mum loved nothing more than to feed people up, or give them hot tea and conversation at least, due to rationing. She also knew that one thing she had not been short of in the ATS was good food.

‘You won’t let on to Mum, will you, Agnes?’ Tilly’s face was full of concern later. ‘She’ll only worry herself sick.’ Tilly had confided in Agnes that she had volunteered to be sent anywhere, here or abroad.

‘No, of course I won’t,’ Agnes said truthfully. ‘I feel very fortunate to be privy to your news.’ However, Agnes, too, felt more than a little apprehension, and half wished that Tilly hadn’t confided in her, but she realised her friend must have badly needed to tell someone. ‘You will be careful, won’t you?’

‘No, Agnes, I’m going to put my head in front of the first machine gun I come across!’ Tilly laughed. Then, sobering, she whispered, ‘Of course I’ll be careful – you nit!’ Even though she was thrilled and excited about where she would be sent the day after tomorrow she still felt the shiver of apprehension run through her. She would miss her mum more than she had ever done, but if she didn’t do what was in her heart she would never forgive herself and she liked making her own decisions, be they good or bad. The time had come when she would stand or fall by her own choices. Today she felt that more keenly than ever.

‘But let’s not get morbid, Agnes, not today.’ Tilly said with false brightness. Time enough for all that another day. It was the early afternoon of her twenty-first birthday … The day she promised to marry Drew Coleman.

‘Of course,’ Agnes said just as brightly, ‘let’s enjoy the day.’

‘Anyway,’ Tilly said, knowing she could not put a damper on the day, for her mum’s sake, ‘we’re just going to enjoy my leave – even if it is only for another twenty-four hours.’

‘Your mum will be your constant shadow.’ Both girls laughed.

Then, changing the subject altogether, Agnes said, ‘I hope there won’t be an air raid tonight.’

‘Even if there is,’ Tilly said, knowing they couldn’t go outside to the Anderson shelter – which Barney had transformed into a superior residence for the precious chickens since she had left for the Forces – ‘Archie’s made the cellar all whitewashed and comfy.’ She said it without any hint of acrimony, knowing her mum was being well looked after.

‘Archie’s here more than in his own house. He and your mum like to keep each other company.’

‘Well, I suppose you do when you get to such an old age.’

‘Hey,’ Olive called from the kitchen, where she was busily making sandwiches, ‘I heard that, you saucy madam!’ Tilly and Agnes doubled over laughing in that carefree way they used to do before the war took all the fun out of life.

Tilly and Agnes went to help Olive and Audrey in the kitchen. The house would soon be full, as the guests were all arriving now.

Later that afternoon, when Tilly’s guests were singing in the front room, enjoying themselves as the celebratory drinks flowed, thanks to everybody’s contributions, Archie took his chance and followed Olive into the kitchen; she looked so beautiful with her flushed cheeks and wisps of hair escaping from the grips that usually kept her immaculate curls in place. And he found it hard to resist putting his arms around her waist and pulling her to him.

‘You don’t look old enough to have a twenty-one-year-old daughter, Olive,’ he said, taking in her trim figure and laughing eyes, thinking that when she was happy, as she was today, they outshone her daughter’s. He realised that he had fallen in love with Olive in a way he had never loved any other woman before – not even his first wife.

The love he felt for Olive was all-consuming; every beat of his heart belonged to her. He felt downhearted when he wasn’t with her, she filled his day with colour when everything was bleak, and above all she gave him hope for the future … their future. But he knew he couldn’t voice his inner feelings as Tilly came into the kitchen.

‘That’s a pretty necklace, Tilly,’ Archie said, smiling and giving nothing of his feelings away. But something was niggling at him now. If he wasn’t mistaken he had seen something similar somewhere before.

‘I got it from Mum, Archie,’ Tilly smiled as her fingers gently caressed the sapphire pendant. ‘It’s the most perfect present and much more valuable than I deserve,’ she smiled before going back to her guests, taking a replenished plate of sandwiches with her.

‘Hello, Olive,’ cried Dulcie in the inimitable cockney drawl that even the best elocution lessons in the country could not fully erase. ‘How are you feeling with a grown-up daughter?’ She sailed into the kitchen on a waft of Chanel No.5, looking as glamorous as ever in a crepe, square-shouldered coat, which almost took Olive’s breath away. The nipped-in waist and deep-cuffed sleeves made her former lodger look like a film star.

‘Dulcie, you look gorgeous!’ Olive could not keep the yearning to look so good from her voice.

‘You know me, Olive,’ Dulcie said in the confident style that Olive knew was only for show, ‘I couldn’t care less if it is patriotic to look shabby!’ She threw her head back and laughed, saying, ‘Having looked patriotic all my life it’s time to tidy myself up a bit.’

‘Don’t you believe it.’ Olive laughed, and Archie quietly agreed that they had never seen Dulcie looking shabby.

‘I’ll tell you what, though, Olive, you’ve surpassed yourself with that pendant, and no mistake.’ Then, in a lower tone, she half-whispered out of Tilly’s earshot, but not out of Archie’s, ‘Here, I bet that set you back a few bob – I can tell it’s the really thing.’ Olive beamed with pride. If Dulcie thought it was genuine then Tilly would, too, and for a pound it wasn’t a bad find in the charity shop.

‘Ask no questions and you’ll be told no lies, Dulcie – you know what I mean?’ Olive gave Dulcie a meaningful look and smiled, knowing she would guess that she had bought the pendant in a charity shop. It did look very expensive, and the leather box that Audrey had found added to the illusion of an expensive gift bought in a bona-fide jeweller’s, but, if the truth got out, Olive thought she would never live down the humiliation.

‘Oh, you are a one!’ Dulcie, who was not averse to buying luxury goods on the black market, tapped her nose. ‘Say no more, Olive, say no more.’

‘Dulcie! I didn’t mean …’ But before she could tell her former lodger that she hadn’t bought the pendant from a spiv, Dulcie was out of the door.

‘Archie?’ Olive felt foolish for not making Dulcie aware that the pendant wasn’t ‘hooky’, as Dulcie herself would say, but it was too late, and Archie, too, had left the kitchen.

‘Is there a problem, Olive?’ Audrey Windle asked as she brought out some empty plates.

‘I didn’t want anybody to know I bought the pendant from the Red Cross shop, but Archie might have got the wrong end of the stick.’

‘Oh, dear, is that a problem? Can’t you just tell him?’ Audrey asked in her calm, reassuring way.

Olive took a deep breath to calm her nerves. ‘I don’t want him thinking I’m a cheapskate,’ she said, sure that Archie had been going to kiss her before the kitchen turned into somewhere as busy as King’s Cross station! He had been so close she could smell the clean manliness of him that had sent shivers of delight right through her. ‘I don’t want it to become common knowledge that I bought my only daughter’s twenty-first birthday present in a Red Cross charity shop!’ Olive said, annoyed with herself for not speaking to Archie sooner.

‘I’m sure Archie would never think such a thing of you, Olive,’ Audrey said, patting her arm. ‘He holds you in such high regard, everybody knows that.’

Do they? Olive thought, as a flurry of delightful anticipation sparkled inside her. Audrey was right: Archie wouldn’t think any less of her for buying Tilly’s present in the charity shop. She would explain it all to him later; he would understand completely.

She picked up another plate of salmon paste sandwiches and went out to play her role as the perfect hostess.

‘Oh, here he is, my lovely brother!’ Dulcie called to Rick, who had just came into the front room pulling beer bottles from every pocket. Rick beamed a sunny smile to his sister.

‘All right, Dulce, me old china!’ Rick called as he took Tilly in his arms. ‘Catch up with you later, Sis, I’ve just got to give our Tilly her birthday present first.’ He said it in such a way that the whole room, Tilly’s ATS friends, who had got leave, included, all gave a rousing cheer, and Tilly could feel her face flame. She wasn’t sure if it was embarrassment or indignation. Rick was a lovely man but he could be a bit base sometimes, she thought, and she didn’t want him joking suggestively in front of Nancy and the vicar.

‘Here, you gonna give us a twirl when we throw the rug back later, Nance?’ Rick said with his usual East End
joie de vivre
. ‘Kick yer shoes off, gel, trip the light fandango …’

‘Well, I never,’ Nancy huffed as she sat near the fireplace, clutching her third small glass of sweet sherry.

‘Bless your cotton socks, Nance,’ Rick called in high spirits, making Tilly cringe, ‘you’ll miss a treat there, gel.’

‘Rick!’ Tilly loudly whispered from the door where she had been standing since he came in and took centre stage – there was no party worth its salt if it didn’t have Rick Simmonds in it. Dulcie used to be just as bad, thought Tilly, embarrassed, but at least Dulcie had calmed down now she was a mother.

‘Right, Nance,’ said Rick, while Tilly wondered if he was deliberately taking the mick out of Nancy, whose pomposity needed to be punctured now and again – but not here, not today. ‘Now you wait there for me, Nance, and I’ll just tell my girl that we’re just good friends, you and me, awright?’ Rick gave Nancy his most charming smile and Nancy actually nodded.

‘Rick!’ Tilly wished the floor would open up and swallow him. ‘Come here. Right now!’ She could tell he’d had a few scoops, as he called an afternoon pint in his local, because even though he could bring a corpse to life with his banter, she didn’t want the more salubrious front-room guests to think she was …

Think she was what? Suddenly, Tilly wondered when she had become such a snob. She used to love to sing and dance around the piano with the girls, and loved nothing more than when somebody, herself included, gently ribbed Nancy into submission. Tilly knew she should relax a little. It was obvious everybody was enjoying themselves – even Nancy was laughing now.

‘You should have brought your daughter and grandchildren in, Nancy,’ Olive said, as she replenished the table with filled plates.

‘She doesn’t mix very well,’ Nancy replied, looking vaguely embarrassed.

‘Barney and your grandson got on like a house on fire that day when Tilly was going into the ATS,’ Olive said blithely, passing around a plate of fruitcake.

‘If you remember rightly, Olive,’ Nancy said, her words slurring slightly from the sherry she had consumed, ‘your Barney left my Freddy down the underground and we were out on horseback looking for him until gone midnight …’

‘Not on horseback, Nancy,’ Olive replied, knowing her neighbour had always been prone to exaggeration, ‘and I wouldn’t say eight o’clock was gone midnight either.’ ‘I’ll just put these upstairs, Mum,’ Tilly said, her arms full of birthday presents. Considering it was war time and everything was in such short supply, she had not expected to be so generously showered with gifts.

‘OK, darling, I’ll keep my eye on his nibs over there.’

Olive smiled when she saw Rick trying to teach Audrey Windle how to jitterbug like the Americans, but Audrey was favouring the old ‘step … two … three’ of the waltz, and Olive thought it was comical to watch. She was having such a good time and her daughter’s birthday had turned out just perfect.